Chapter 7--Bruises
"Harry."
That one word was all it took for the tears to trickle down behind his glasses. On shaky legs he took one step, then another until they were face to face.
"Ginny." Harry raised a finger and touched the canvas half hoping he could feel the warmth of her skin. She raised her hand to his, tears glistening in her eyes but not spilling over as his did.
"Apparently," she began quietly, "if a family member requests it you can have a portrait of your loved ones made for a small sum. I believe this was George's doing. Hermione didn't tell you, did she?"
Harry shook his head as he wiped his eyes on his t-shirt, taking the moment to collect his thoughts.
"I don't even know what to say," he finally whispered looking up and finding her sitting down, cross-legged on the grass, her Quidditch broom next to her.
"Tell me about Janie and what's going on with her. I'd love to see her sometime." Ginny's wistful tone reminded Harry that he was going to have to pick up their daughter soon enough. He began with when she learned to crawl, a mere month after Ginny and Ron were killed. His story began haltingly but as he talked more and saw the smile on Ginny's face his voice became stronger, describing Janie to her with every detail he could remember.
As his voice died off with, "…and I'll have to go get her from Bill's soon," he felt a tremendous, cathartic release take place deep inside a place he never knew existed until this moment. He always knew he missed Ginny--the female companionship, the fact she was a mother-- but what he missed most was talking about Janie to her. He always felt that Ginny, as a mother, was cheated as she only spent six months with her daughter.
"Do you think you can bring her by sometime? Will she recognize me?"
By now Ron had rejoined his portrait, Fred in tow. Harry smiled at Fred who saluted him then sat down quietly with Ron and began a game of Chess.
"She will and I will definitely bring her by. Absolutely. So, have your parents seen you all yet?"
Ginny nodded saying they had three frames in her parent's room for them to flit in and out of at their hearts content.
"You should go get Janie now, Harry." Ginny smiled and Harry was unsure what to say. Was he supposed to wave or blow her a kiss? It had been a year, and she was just a moving picture--his brain knew that and that strange-place-deep-inside understood that too. She wasn't back as his wife, just a picture that had limited communication abilities. So he decided to just bid all three Weasley's goodbye turn slowly and head up the hall. His head was still buzzing and his brain not quite comprehending what had just happened.
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The next few days moved in alternating speeds of slow and fast. When he visited Neville and Luna to see their new daughter Alison (named after Neville's mother) the day flew by and before he knew it, Janie and Ben had fallen asleep for their afternoon nap on the Longbottom's floor.
The days he stayed home were spent supervising the children, cleaning house, going through mail and finally answering a call from Charles on the seventh day that Harry was home.
"I'm so sorry I never got back to you. My father called me back to Canada because my mother took a turn for the worst with her cancer."
"I'm sorry, Charles," was Harry's reply. He believed him just by the tired, sorrowful tone in his voice.
"They're Muggle so there isn't much I can do."
"Do you have any siblings to help out?"
"I have four older sisters, all adopted like me from various countries. We all were there, but seeing a loved on in pain…," Charles' voice trailed off and Harry didn't need to be told what that felt like. He knew first hand but still wasn't sure where to take the conversation from there. Harry did ask if he Charles seen Hermione before she left but he hadn't even known she had left.
As their conversation turned to Janie, Charles did sound a bit brighter after talking about their meetings--thanking Harry for letting him have full access to Janie and Ginny's history. He explained at length that he felt he was making headway in his theory on some children having issues with absorbing magic. While he was in Canada for the week he had heard of another child in Australia that had the same symptoms but was almost three years old.
"So, after I go through some work items here, I'm off to the southern hemisphere. How is Jane doing being around her family?"
"Wonderful! She was with her Uncle and cousin the first day we were back and seemed fine. Yesterday we visited some friends that had a baby and after her nap she used her wand a bit, but nothing out of the ordinary happened."
"That's wonderful Harry. I shouldn't be down in Australia very long and I'd love to talk to her again when I get back. Do you think that would be possible?"
"Sure. Just contact me when you return," Harry answered lightly. He was feeling a bit less stressed about what Hermione was doing. He couldn't help by think that maybe he had been with her; that he had a secret life as an auror or something.
Arthur and Molly returned from their vacation relaxed and excited to see their granddaughter again. Molly commanded that Harry, Ben and Janie would spend the weekend with her. Knowing Hermione was out of town and what a handful Ben could be had worked its way into the conversation. They also had no idea where she had gone and Arthur had said that what they did was always kept secret lest the `bad guys' get any information on where they might be next.
It was after dinner when Ben pitched his first fit about not having his mother put him to bed. Harry had watched him for eight of the eleven days Hermione had been gone and his anger at being left in the dark was simmering right under his skin and Ben seemed to be feeling the same way. Harry was frustrated at not being able to do anything about Hermione's absence. The resources weren't available to him to go banging on doors demanding to know where she was. Especially since this was her job and was part of the territory she had taken on; she had to have known what the job demanded before accepting.
"Ben, it's bedtime!" Harry wearily tried to settle him down with a book, but Ben knocked it out of his hands, crying and hiccupping that he wanted his "mummy" and not "Uncle Harry." Although Harry tried to hand him off to Molly and even Arthur, Ben clung to Harry and it was only after a half hour of rocking him did Ben finally fall into an exhausted slumber…three hours after Janie had fallen asleep. Molly had set up the beds in Hermione's room for the babies and Harry had just laid back on her bed after he set Ben down, knowing that it was much easier to stay where they were then try to quietly move everyone back to their rooms down the hall.
He was barely aware that he laid his glasses on the nightstand and tossed his shirt on the floor all before he fell into an exhausted sleep. His last thought being that he hadn't been in this bed since March, which now seemed years ago.
Abruptly Harry awoke to a sudden weight on his chest, knocking the breath out of him and what he thought were a pair of knees on his shoulders. He struggled to sit up, shoving at the extra pair of legs in bed with him and was met with a wand tip aimed at his forehead.
"Get off," Harry grunted the immediately felt air return to his lungs as the weight rolled off him.
"Harry!" a very familiar voice gasped causing Harry to awake immediately. A dim lumos glow filled the room and Harry pushed himself into a sitting position, barely able to make out Hermione's face without his classes.
"Well, you return. Where the hell were you?" Harry asked sharply but quietly. He heard Ben snore in his sleep then settle down.
"What're you doing in my room? And I'm exhausted, so can I explain everything in the morning?" Hermione asked slipping off the bed taking the light with her.
"Fine. What's one more day," Harry grumbled rolling off the bed while shoving his glasses onto his face. Hermione must've heard the annoyed tone and called out his name softly. He just shook his head, bending down to pick up Janie and settling her against his chest.
"Sweet dreams," Harry muttered before he shut the door behind him, effectively cutting off Hermione's reply.
He was acting like a teenager but he didn't fully care at the moment. With everything that had happened over the
past two months he needed an outlet and even though he was angry with Hermione, it wasn't fair to use her as one.
He knew that much and realized if he confronted her in the morning, he was likely to use her as one. Right after Janie
awoke on Sunday morning he said his goodbye's to his in-laws and took Janie back home. After a quick breakfast she
became engrossed in playing with her dolls, giving Harry time to tackle his office. He hadn't touched it since he
stopped working and needed something to keep him moving and busy. He concentrated on making piles of things to keep, a
pile to send back to Hogwarts and things he could throw away.
If he knew Hermione, she wasn't going to let him just walk away. She was going to show up at some point and it was towards the end of his cleaning spree when he heard Janie's quick footsteps running down the hall.
"Aunt `Mione is here with Ben! We're gonna plaaaaay!" she yelled into his office. He pushed himself up off the floor in time to see a red head streak by his office door right behind Janie and then a second later heard her door slam shut.
"Keep your door open Jane Lily Potter!" Harry yelled, turning so his back was to the office door trying to quell the excitement at finally seeing Hermione. It was mixed with resentment and he knew he'd be quick to anger if he wasn't careful.
"We need to talk Harry," Hermione's voice followed the quick click of his office door.
"I don't have anything to say Hermione. I've been in Italy for two months, then came home over a week ago." Harry dumped a pile of papers into the trashcan then grabbed another pile waiting for the trashcan to open back up.
"Would you please turn and look at me? It's been over two months." She never usually pleaded and he knew that he couldn't resist that tone. Buying himself time he unhurriedly dumped the pile of papers into the trash. Empty handed, he had no more excuses so he shoved his hands into his pockets and slowly turned around ready to ask her again where she had been.
However, those words died on his lips and before he could stop himself he blurted out, "What did you do with your hair?" He stared openly at her and noticed her self-conscious gesture of her hand touching her hair. It was considerably shorter, barely touching her shoulders and instead of the dark brown color it was when he left it was blond, light brown and auburn all mixed together somehow…and he really liked it.
"I got it cut," she said quietly dropping her hand and Harry's eyes followed. He struggled to keep his expression neutral as his eyes swept down her frame. She had a bruise on her cheek and a few on her arms, which he noticed actually seemed to have very defined muscles. And it was only a second later that his hand was wrapped around her arm protectively asking her who gave her the bruises.
She laughed, a bit nervously and told him it was part of the job.
"What exactly is your job Hermione?" Harry asked tightly, resisting the temptation to touch the bruise on her cheek.
"Auror, Harry. You know that. I called for a drill…practice really. We went to a secluded area and went through spells, charms, hexes, physical moves that we felt would be helpful against any death eater that we may come across in the future. After we perfected those, we got together with a group out of Ireland and went through mock drills, no holds barred except the killing curse. I wanted to tell you Harry but I couldn't!" Hermione looked at him and he noticed the dark circles under her eyes. He dropped his hand and nodded for her to keep talking. Clearing her throat and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, which for some reason Harry found highly alluring, she continued. "How fair would it have been for me to call you when my team barely had time to get themselves situated?"
"You had to have known you were going to be gone before you told your team. You could've given me the heads up."
"I couldn't Harry. It's all very secretive and I wasn't even sure when we'd leave until I found that all my team was in working and I realized that it felt right to call the drill that day…right then and there. I didn't do this to make you angry; it's part of my job. My own parents didn't even know."
"Yeah, I know. I had Ben the last week Hermione because your parents had a trip planned to Ireland," Harry shot back and instantly he regretted the barb. Her sun burnt face seemed to have lost all color. She leaned back against the desk and lowered her eyes to the floor, unable to speak so Harry filled the silence.
"So…yeah. I'm thinking it would've been easier on everyone if you had said something to me and maybe even brought Ben to me in Italy. Then I wouldn't have been worried beyond belief trying to figure out where you went and your parent's trip would've gone off seamlessly."
"I didn't know they were leaving. I would've asked someone else," she whispered hoarsely now rubbing her temples.
"Who? Ron?" Harry asked sharply and her head snapped up. "That's right. I kind of ran into my dead brother in law a.k.a. best friend and my dead wife while going to your office for that teddy bear of Ben's. Ron said he had been there two weeks. Why didn't you tell me that or the fact that Neville became a father five days before you left? Why all these secrets, Hermione?" he demanded not very politely.
Harry saw her shoulders sag and head drop in defeat and instantaneously he felt like the worst person in the world. He placed his hands on her shoulders but she wouldn't look up at him, eerily quiet.
"I'm sorry. I'm taking my feelings out on you and it's not fair. I can see you're tired and sore," he lamely apologized.
"No, Harry. You're right. All this is my fault. I tried to run everything myself, take care of Ben, look for a place to live, keep Charles up to date, figure out how to act around Ron and Ginny and talk to you. I had too many balls in the air and I let the most important one drop," she shrugged under his hands and he saw her fingertips swipe under her eyes.
"Yourself, Hermione? One person can't do all that."
"No, you Harry. I had a list of things to tell you and I couldn't remember where I put it. When we talked at night I wanted to hear about your progress with Janie, not tell you every detail about my job, which apparently I can't even do!" she laughed harshly and he felt her take a deep breath then let it out slowly. He was glad for the moment she took to collect herself because her verbal admission that he was truly important to her was still ricocheting inside his head.
"Maybe", he began slowly, rubbing her shoulders gently feeling hard knots of muscle bunched up under his hands, "You should talk about your work more. Or get a pensieve," he half joked. Reluctantly she lifted her face and looked at him.
"I should. It's not fair that you were blindsided with Ron and Ginny. I'm truly sorry for how that must've made you feel! George had them placed there to surprise me and that they did. Then, I realized they could help out with being another set of ears so we set up blank frames for them at George's store and a few around Knockturn Alley, disguised as hideous warlocks. I was struggling with telling you over the phone, or in person or if it should be a surprise that I could show you when you got back. Then, this drill was becoming imminent and I was so focused on getting every detail right I just forgot to tell you. I hardly ever forget anything Harry and here I am barely keeping my head above water." Her hands lifted up as if weighing the air then settled on his elbows. "I'm so sorry Harry. I'm sorry if you cut short Janie's treatment because of me."
"NO," Harry shook his head feeling her fingers tighten on his arm. "I chose to end it, well we're still working on it, but I felt she was ready to come back. I was more than ready also." His eyes kept wandering to the bruise on her cheek and this time he did reach up and touch it.
"Does it hurt much?" he ran his fingers along the outer edge staying away from the swollen part near her jawbone. He noticed her eyelashes flutter for a minute as she shook her head slowly. She was strangely still--barely breathing-- and in that moment Harry realized that she wasn't certain what he was going to do and if the pull between them wasn't recognizable on her part he wasn't sure if he should even act on it. She already had way too much on her mind already.
"That's a nice sized bruise. If Janie had one, I'd kiss it; she says that makes it feel better," he joked and was rewarded with a small smile--which made his heart drop to his stomach then beat double time.
"You could always try that. It would be cheaper than the balm I have." Her eyes shifted across his face as he bent down to do just that. It was ironic that as soon as he leaned in to brush his lips across her right cheek he noticed she had a nice scratch on her forehead, right where his scar happened to be, but hers was a crescent shape.
Brushing his lips across her cheek flooded him with memories of what it was like before he left. She smelled the same; her skin was still soft by her ear and when his lips touched her she took that same short, sharp breath as if surprised at his touch. He wrapped his arms around her gathering her to him and, as he did with Janie when she was feeling sad, he cradled Hermione's head against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry I was angry. I felt like you were keeping things from me…and then Charles was gone at the same time-," he murmured trying to concentrate on his train of thought, but feeling her hands press against his back pulling him to her even tighter made him lapse into silence.
"We're just friends, Harry. He's too much like me that I wouldn't ever be able to date him. Plus, I don't even have time to do any of that with this auror position."
"Then let me help you with it," Harry offered running his hands down her back, feeling her relax a bit.
"Maybe. I just need to decompress and regroup my thoughts," Hermione sighed, her lips moving softly against his neck as she spoke. "I'm so sorry to have stressed you out, made you angry."
"I know," Harry whispered closing his eyes and relishing in the feel of her against him. He let his hands slip to her waist and managed to continue his thought. "I just didn't like being out of communication with you that long. It felt…unnatural…to me."
`Did she just kiss me on my neck?' Harry thought trying to figure out if she was nodding in agreement or nuzzling his neck. It didn't matter because his body liked either thought. He distantly heard Ben and Jamie laugh, but the sound stayed in the vicinity of her room so he turned his attention back to Hermione who was pulling away, sliding her hands up to his cheeks. Quite forcefully she kept his face turned to hers.
"We need to go out. Just the two of us." Her eyes searched his and he wasn't quite sure what she was looking for in them.
"Are you asking me out on a date?" he asked enjoying the embarrassed look that flitted across her face.
"Well, maybe. But I have a proposition for you."
"Really?" Harry grinned and felt his cheek get pinched. "Ow!"
"Behave! Seriously Harry. I need to talk to you about my job at the ministry. Do you think you can find a sitter for Janie tonight?"
He stared at her for a moment trying to figure out who he could ask. Before he could answer he felt her move his head in the nodding motion. Not being able to help himself he laughed, then reached up and removed her hands from his face.
"I'm sure I can find someone to watch her. But, do you really want to leave Ben so soon though?"
"We'll go after I put him to bed. This is important." She squeezed his hands, her eyes never leaving his and he could see whatever it was she needed to talk about needed to be done sooner rather than later.
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