Chapter 15 - The Granger Girls
That evening, Hermione got into nice hot bath. After a long stressful day, she needed to relax and unwind. She closed her eyes and thought about the day's events.
After her confrontation with Rose outside The Leaky Cauldron, Hermione went back inside to find Ron comforting both of the children. Hermione paid for their lunch and they walked back to Hogwarts. They were relatively quiet, as each was lost in their own thoughts.
Ron offered to take Hugo and Rose to see the Gryffindor/Slytherin match, which was about to get underway. Hugo decided to go but Rose was not in the mood to watch the game and excused herself to get some homework done. Hermione gave her son and soon to be ex-husband goodbye hugs and walked with her daughter towards the library.
Rose was still giving her mother the silent treatment.
"Rose, are you ever going to speak to me again?"
Her daughter didn't answer.
"Rose, please! Say something - tell me what you're thinking."
Rose turned around, glaring. "I'm thinking that my mother is the least self-aware person on the entire planet."
"Oh, come on honey, you're not going to bring up the idea that I'm in love with Uncle Harry again are you?"
"Mum, I just want you to be honest with yourself for at least five minutes!"
Hermione sighed and sat down on a stone bench in the courtyard. She stared at the library, her favorite building on the entire grounds.
"I used to spend hours in that place." She reminisced. "Mostly studying, but there were plenty of times I was in there researching spells or looking for information to help Harry. He really needed my help back then."
Seeing her mother's wistful expression, Rose softened and sat down beside her. "From the stories I've heard from those days, he probably wouldn't be alive today if it weren't for you."
Hermione chuckled. "Yes, that's probably true."
"Has he ever thanked you?" Rose asked.
Had Harry ever really thanked her for saving his life? Maybe in his own way he had.
Hermione shook her head. "Not explicitly, no."
"It seems like there's a lot that's unspoken between you two." Rose observed.
"Maybe you're right, Rose." Hermione conceded.
After a moment of silence, Rose stood up and grabbed her book bag.
"Well, I've got some homework to catch up on - we have our first exams of the term coming up and I've got to do well."
Hermione nodded. "I know. You'll do great." She paused. "Honey, are you going to be okay?"
Rose nodded. "I guess. I just need time to get used to all of this, and the idea that you and dad are not going to be married anymore. It's hard."
"I know. It's hard on all of us, including me. I have to figure out what I'm doing with the rest of my life now."
"You'll figure it out, Mum. You're smart."
Rose bent down and kissed her mother on the cheek. Hermione pulled her into her arms, thankful to receive her daughter's affection again, as tears rolled down her face.
"I love you, Rose. Don't ever forget that."
"I won't. I love you too, Mum."
Hermione remembered watching Rose walk to the library. She saw so much of herself in her daughter. Not only had she inherited her bushy hair and brown eyes, she was very bright. She was a miniature Hermione in a lot of ways but the one thing she did inherit from her father was his knack of making astute observations. Hermione then thought about her relationship with Harry. Both Rose and Ron asked her today if she had feelings for him.
She had to admit during their Hogwarts days, he was her number one priority. Helping him and keeping him alive was her purpose. Ron's needs always came second, but then again, he didn't have the constant presence of an evil wizard trying to kill him. And he had a loving family, Harry didn't.
Then she remembered around the beginning of fifth year her feelings for Harry began to change. Her intense concern for his wellbeing turned from motherly or sisterly to something else. Not only did his safety matter, his happiness became paramount to her as well, sometimes more than her own. She remembered how isolated and miserable he was that year and she took it upon herself to help him see his way out of it.
Hermione smiled with pride when she remembered encouraging Harry to start the DA. At first he was reluctant, but she knew once things got off the ground that he would be in his element. Hermione always knew that Harry had leadership abilities; he just needed a venue to exercise them. She also arranged for Harry to tell his story to Rita Skeeter so the rest of the world would stop seeing him as an attention seeking liar.
But did Harry notice or did he ever thank her? No, instead he was mooning over Cho Chang. Hermione knew that he had liked her for at least a year or more. She was a pretty Asian girl with long shiny dark hair, lots of friends and a flair for Quidditch. Hermione remembered being envious of Cho and felt like a plain old bookworm next to her. She couldn't risk telling him how she was feeling because he would never see her like that and it would just make things awkward. While she did get Harry to admit that he didn't find her ugly, it wasn't the same as hearing that she was pretty.
When Harry and Cho never really got off the ground, she hoped maybe he would finally open his eyes and notice her. But then their ill-fated trip to the Ministry happened and she learned of the prophecy and she got scared. She was very wary of her intense feelings for Harry and tried to distance herself. Her practical side took over and she didn't want to risk giving her heart away to someone who didn't find her attractive and more importantly, might not live to see his seventeenth birthday.
She then focused her attention to Ron. She knew he'd fancied her, ever since she had gotten dressed up at the Yule Ball and he was jealous of the attention Viktor Krum paid her. Ron was the safer choice and when he actually took the time to be nice to her, she did enjoy his company. He made her laugh and forget about her feelings for Harry for the time being.
And then Harry fell for Ginny; she knew he'd fancied her long before he kissed her that day in the Gryffindor common room. She'd been so used to watching him that she knew all the signs. Unlike his first foray into romance, Hermione had a feeling that Harry and Ginny would last. She had all of Cho's physical qualities without the human hosepipe issues. And she was the sister of his best mate. Never mind that deep down, Hermione knew that it was she who knew Harry best, could sense his changing moods and could anticipate his needs before he did.
During the last year of the war, Hermione felt terribly torn between her two best friends. Harry needed her more than ever and she loved being needed like that. She remembered how he had always grabbed her hand when they were in danger, as if she was the most important thing in his life and he couldn't bear to lose her. But there was also Ron. Yes, her feelings were still growing as he continued to be more attentive and sweet to her.
But then his hunger, and insecurity got the best of him and he abandoned them. Hermione remembered crying herself to sleep the nights that followed, not just because she missed Ron, but because she felt incredibly guilty. Ron accused her of choosing Harry. When push came to shove, she chose him. And the truth was she always would. But Harry barely touched or comforted her those nights. She would have given anything for him to just hold her and tell her it was going to be okay. But he never came. She always wondered why, perhaps he was afraid what might happen if he did?
When Ron returned and in the final weeks of the war, it seemed that Harry was purposely keeping her at arms length. Meanwhile Ron continued to be sweet and attentive and she surrendered during battle, finally kissing him. She knew she couldn't have picked a worse time, but it was war and she felt impulsive. She needed to feel alive.
After the war ended, Harry reunited with Ginny and she was with Ron and things were the way they were supposed to be, as Molly Weasley was so fond of saying. The couples married within a year of each other and found homes next door to each other a few miles from the Burrow.
During the first few years of their marriage, Hermione was happy. She had a nice home, a good job at the Ministry and then she and Ron were blessed with two beautiful children. They shared all their milestones with their next door in-laws and vice versa. But as the years went on, she felt like something was missing from her life. The physical part of her marriage waned and she yearned, instead, for a true companion - someone who would understand and accept her unconditionally. Sadly, no matter how hard he tried, Ron couldn't be that person.
Meanwhile, she and Harry grew closer again, and she often found herself talking to him in the backyard, sometimes just for a few minutes, that would somehow turn into an hour or two. And then her marriage started to fall apart.
Hermione opened her eyes, and realized she had been in the tub a long time, her skin was pruned and the water was getting cold. With a shiver, she got out of the tub and dried herself off. She put on her robe and decided to make some hot tea. Reflecting on the last twenty years of her life made Hermione want to talk to someone. Normally she would talk to Harry, but he was the last person she could discuss this with.
Hermione took her tea down to the Muggle room and picked up her mobile phone and dialed.
"Mum?"
"Hermione! I'm so glad you called. How are you, sweetie?"
"Confused."
"About what?"
"Everything."
Hermione proceeded to tell Elizabeth about her day with Ron and the kids. She told her what both Ron and Rose had asked her about her feelings for Harry.
Elizabeth had always suspected that her daughter had deep feelings for Harry, but she had never broached the subject with her. But now Hermione had brought it up and was asking for her advice.
"Well, sweetie, the question is do you love Harry?" she asked. "And not as a friend, but as something more?"
Hermione sighed. She knew after her long soak in the tub what the answer was. Could she finally admit it aloud?
"Hermione?"
"Yes?"
"Are you saying yes to let me know that you're still there or are you saying `yes, I love Harry.'"
"Yes, I love Harry." Hermione said quietly into the phone.
"And not as a friend?" Elizabeth confirmed.
"No! I mean I love him as a friend but I want him to be more than my best friend. I want him to be….my everything." Hermione sighed.
"Congratulations," Elizabeth laughed. "Acceptance is half the battle."
"Mum, this isn't funny. My marriage is ending because I'm in love with my best friend."
"I know divorce is no laughing matter. But I'm so happy to hear you admit this after all these years."
"What do you mean after all these years?"
"Sweetie, I never said anything to you but I always knew your heart belonged to Harry. He was all you ever talked about when you were home from school. When you told us you had a serious boyfriend, I was sure you were going to bring Harry home. Imagine my surprise when you brought home Ron."
"But you liked Ron!" Hermione protested.
"Yes, I liked Ron but I never thought he was the right match for you. I always thought you were out of his league."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Now you tell me. Why didn't you ever say something?"
"Oh sweetie, I wanted to but you seemed happy with him. I didn't want to be a wet blanket and make you upset with me. And I wanted us to be closer again. We barely saw you your last few years of school."
Hermione felt a twinge of regret and guilt. "I'm sorry about that, Mum. I kept my distance to protect you from what was going on with the war."
"I know you did, but your dad and I didn't want to lose you again." Elizabeth said sadly, recalling those days.
"Mum, you have to know you'll never lose me. I love you."
"And I love you, too." Elizabeth paused. "So what are you going to do, are you going to tell Harry how you feel?"
"I don't know. Things are so complicated right now and I'm not even sure how he feels. I'm leaving on my trip for my new job next week and I'll be gone for a month. And Harry's starting divorce proceedings soon."
"Wait, he's getting divorced?" Elizabeth asked. "When did that happen?"
"Sorry, Mum, it's been a long and eventful few days since we last spoke. Ginny left Harry and won't let him see his kids."
"Why did they split up?"
"Well, apparently Harry lied about spending the day with me and Ginny flew off the handle."
"What exactly were you two doing?" Elizabeth asked in a faux accusatorial tone.
"Nothing! We just went on a picnic and he took me flying on his broomstick."
"Hmm, I don't know much about the wizarding world, Hermione, but that sounds like a romantic date to me. And when you say flying on his broomstick…"
"I meant that literally!" Hermione exclaimed, blushing.
"Did you enjoy flying on his broomstick?" Elizabeth giggled like a twelve year old girl.
"Mum, I am not having this conversation with you!" Hermione said, laughing in spite of herself.
"Sorry, sweetie." Elizabeth stopped giggling. "So Jenny left because she thought you and Harry were sneaking around behind her back?"
"Well, Harry didn't exactly put it that way." Hermione recalled. "You know they've been having problems for a while now. I think she just was looking for an excuse to leave and punish him."
"What a horrible woman. She has no right to do that to him, talking his kids. But her suspicions have to come from somewhere."
"What do you mean, Mum?"
"Well, we talked about how Jenny was insecure about your relationship with Harry. Perhaps she also saw what
Rose and Ron saw."
"Mum, are you saying that Harry might have feelings for me?"
"I always knew you were a bright girl." Elizabeth replied.
Could it be true? After all of these years, was Harry in love with her? The idea made her feel positively lightheaded.
"Mum, what should I do now?"
"Sweetie, don't do anything rash." Her mother advised. "This is a very sticky time for the both of you and you don't want to do anything you might regret. I would imagine that Harry is also feeling confused about his feelings."
"So I should just ignore this now that I know how I feel?" Hermione asked, frustrated.
"No, be aware of your feelings, but don't act on them yet. You've always been Harry's best friend, continue to be just that. Wait until the divorces are behind you and then slowly explore the possibility with him."
"But that could take several months, even longer." Hermione protested.
"Hermione, you've been in love with Harry for decades, what are a few more months?"
"I suppose you are right. It's just going to be weird to be around him, now that I know how I feel. Every time I touch him, I'll be so conscious of it. Harry and I have always been naturally touchy feely with each other, and now it's going to be awkward."
"I know, just take things slow. It will be okay, Hermione. You and Harry will get your happy ending, I can feel it."
Hermione hoped her mother was right. She just had to be patient.
TBC
A/N: Speaking of patience, thanks for sticking with this story. I think we'll have a few more chapters to come and I hope to update with a chapter every other day, if I can.
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