Chapter 19 - Three's a Crowd
Hermione ran back to her house, her heart hammering beneath her chest. Once she was safely inside, she leaned against her kitchen door and began to cry. She wasn't sure if these were tears of joy, frustration or sorrow, perhaps a little of all three. Harry had kissed her. He kissed her.
And she kissed him back. She couldn't remember the last time she had been kissed like that. Even her first kiss with Ron, which was passionate, did not make her insides turn to jelly. Perhaps she had never been kissed like that in all of her thirty eight years.
Hermione wiped her tears away as she remembered what it was like to be in Harry's arms. She felt his mouth seeking hers, silently asking for permission to go further, which she did almost automatically. When their tongues made contact it was as if a jolt of electricity ran through her. She had wanted more but they parted to breathe.
Then it was as if a bucket of cold water was poured over her. Harry apologized and he said he didn't mean to do it, he had only meant to give her a simple good-bye kiss. She cut him off, not wanting to hear his excuses and rationalize away what had just happened. The last thing she wanted to hear from him was that it was a mistake, and it should've never happened. She couldn't bear to hear that.
Hermione was feeling so confused. She remembered the urge to flee from Harry's place right after she finished eating because she could tell that he was trying to extend their dinner into something else, something she wasn't sure she was ready for. But then when they said their good-byes, it hit her that she wasn't going to see him for a whole month. She saw the look on his face and that was it. He had her.
But it was not to be. Harry apologized for kissing her and she took that to mean that he didn't want her. The kiss was just an accident….or was it? She ran down to the Muggle room and dialed her mobile.
"Hello, Mum?"
"Hermione, sweetheart!" Elizabeth's voice rang out. "How are you? Getting ready for the big trip across the pond?"
"Harry kissed me."
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"Harry kissed me," she repeated. Hermione relayed to her mother the evening's salient points including the dinner invitation, the red dress, the wine, the conversation, the chicken paillard, the rice pudding and last but not least, the passionate kiss in the kitchen.
"Well it sounds like you had an eventful evening." Elizabeth said dryly. "What did Harry say to you after the kiss?"
"He apologized, Mum!" Hermione said, tears of frustration coming again. "What kind of man apologizes after a kiss?"
"Was it that bad?" Elizabeth smirked.
"No, it was the opposite of bad, it was….amazing."
"How amazing?"
Hermione could practically see her mother's eyebrows rising. She didn't want to get too graphic, considering her audience.
"It was the best kiss I've ever had," she admitted. "Mind you, I don't have too much to compare it to, but I've never felt like that before."
"And what did you say to Harry when he apologized?"
"I think I said `I know and it was okay' and I left."
"You left Harry standing there?" Elizabeth was dismayed.
"Yes, Mum, I was mortified, I had to leave!"
"Poor Harry." Elizabeth said.
"Poor Harry? What about poor me?" Hermione was incredulous.
"Oh sweetie, don't you see? It sounds like Harry wanted to have a romantic dinner with you before your trip." Elizabeth explained. "He dressed up, cooked your favorite food and you shared a bottle of wine. He sounded positively green with jealousy when you talked about your old friend Viktor. And then he kissed you good-night. I have no doubt now what his intentions are."
"But he apologized! That obviously means he didn't like kissing me!"
"Hermione!" Elizabeth said firmly. "Listen to me. You are a very intelligent woman, well most of the time anyway. Tell me, if you had a friend who was telling you the same story you just told me, wouldn't you think that a romantic evening had just taken place?"
"Mum, I do not doubt that Harry might have had romantic designs on me tonight." Hermione rolled her eyes. "But the proof is in the pudding, so to speak, and Harry didn't like kissing me."
"Did he say that he didn't like kissing you? All I heard from you is that he apologized. Perhaps he just got scared. I told you he was feeling confused and this just confirms it for me. He probably thinks it's too soon to be kissing another woman, and not just any woman but his best friend."
Elizabeth paused. "Did I ever tell you about my first kiss with your dad?"
"No, Mum, what happened?"
"Well, your dad and I met in dental school as you know. We were classmates and study partners. We also started to hang around each other outside of class but it was all very platonic even though I fancied him like mad." Elizabeth recalled.
"Then one night, we went out to dinner, and just like you and Harry we shared a bottle of wine. Afterwards, your dad walked me back to my flat and he kissed me completely out of the blue.
I was surprised but I kissed him back. After the kiss, your dad apologized, but I told him he had nothing to be sorry for. Later, I asked him why he had apologized, and he said he was afraid that he had ruined our friendship. He had kissed me on impulse, and when he realized what he had done, he felt scared."
"Are you saying that's what happened to Harry?" Hermione asked.
"I can't say 100% for sure, but I'd be willing to bet that something similar was going through his mind."
"Oh Mum, I'd like to think you are right. But I can't just march over to Harry's and ask him if he liked kissing me! I have to get to bed soon and leave for my trip tomorrow."
"Sweetie, I understand. But I don't think you should leave things hanging either. You aren't going to see him for a whole month."
"But I can't face him, I'm too embarrassed." Hermione admitted.
"Then write him a letter. Send him an owl - you still do that in your world right?"
"Yes, we do. But I live next door to him - I could leave it in his mail slot."
"So then, write him a letter and get things off your chest before you leave. I think it will make you feel better. You'll need to focus on your new job instead of obsessing over this kiss with Harry."
"But what do I say to him in the letter?"
"Sweetie, you're smart. You'll figure it out."
Hermione considered her mother's advice. She was probably right, as usual.
"Thanks, Mum. Listen, I should go, I'll call you when I get to America - I'll be in New York for a few days."
"Yes, I have your itinerary here, thanks for sending it along. Have a safe trip. I love you."
"I love you too, Mum."
Hermione hung up the phone and went up to her bedroom. She changed out of her dinner clothes, washed the make-up off her puffy face and put on her pajamas.
She sat at her desk with a roll of parchment and a quill and started to write. After a few false starts and crumbling up pieces of parchment, she was satisfied with her note. She placed the letter in an envelope and sealed it.
With a sigh, Hermione got ready for bed and turned out the light. Writing the letter did make her feel better, but she was certain that she was still going to think about that kiss until she saw Harry again.
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The next morning, Harry opened his door to pick up his copy of The Daily Prophet. He slept fitfully, first regretting then not regretting kissing Hermione last night. After he picked up the newspaper, he noticed an envelope on his inside welcome mat with his name on it in very familiar handwriting.
His heart sped up as he closed the door. He tossed the newspaper onto the coffee table and ripped open the envelope, unfolding the parchment with trembling hands. He hoped it wasn't Hermione telling him that she never wanted to see him again.
Harry -
I want to thank you again for cooking dinner last night - it was very sweet of you.
I hope you aren't angry at me for leaving so abruptly. I have to be honest with you that I wasn't so surprised that you kissed me because I had a feeling as the night progressed that something might happen. What did surprise me, however, was how intense it was and how quickly I felt swept away by it all.
But your apology confused me. Were you sorry because you were scared of what you did or did you apologize because you didn't like kissing me and felt it was a mistake? Or was it for another reason? I feel foolish and embarrassed to be asking you this, but I need to understand what happened.
I think it's good that I'll be going away for a while. Perhaps we both need to think about our lives and what we both want, I know I do.
I also think it might be a little soon for us to be moving onto another relationship, and if that does develop between us, I want it to be because we both want it, and not because we're lonely or it's convenient. Plus, the press would have a field day if they discovered that our so-called affair turned out to be true while we are going through our divorces.
I hope everything turns out well for you with the hearing. Please remember what I said about the kids and their needs. Also, remember that no matter what Ginny or her legal team says, you are an excellent father and I know that your kids mean the world to you. I also know that they love you very much.
Please owl me and let me know how you are doing. I have included a copy of my itinerary, so you know where I will be. I will see you when I return on Halloween.
Love from,
Hermione
Harry re-read the note three times before everything sunk in. So she wasn't angry with him, perhaps a bit weary, but at least she didn't hate him. He just didn't understand how she could think that he didn't feel the same about their kiss.
Well you did apologize for kissing her, you idiot.
Harry tried to ignore the negative voice in his head and focused on the positive. She wasn't shutting down the possibility that there might be a future relationship in store for them. She even wanted him to write to her. But what touched him the most was her concern over the custody of the kids and to make sure he made the right decision about his filing status.
Harry put the letter back in the envelope and put it in the pocket of his bathrobe. He went into the kitchen to fix himself some breakfast.
When he was ready to eat, he went back into the living room to pick up the newspaper. He scanned the front page and did a double take. There was a posed picture of Ginny and the headline underneath said: How Harry Potter Broke My Heart! Exclusive interview with Ginny Weasley-Potter, page 3.
Harry opened the newspaper and started to read, incredulous that she would stoop this low. He at least had hoped that her camp had pressured her into this, and this wasn't her idea. Ginny was painting herself to be the second coming of Princess Diana, with Harry as the adulterous Charles and Hermione his Camilla.
"There were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded." Weasley-Potter explains. "Now I know just how poor Princess Diana felt, Merlin rest her soul. Harry always went to Hermione with his problems, he never talked to me. Often I would catch them in the backyard, whispering and sharing an intimate moment."
"I should've known early on that Harry was in love with her. He was always buying her presents, during the early years of our marriage I found a heart shaped locket in Harry's drawer in a box.
I thought he was going to give that to me, but imagine my shock and heartbreak seeing it around Hermione's neck a week later!"
Harry cursed. He had bought that locket for Hermione when she announced her pregnancy with Rose. He had meant for her to put pictures of her children in there, it was not meant to be a romantic gift, but a special present to a good friend celebrating a milestone in her life.
But to the general public, Ginny was painting him as a desperate wizard who hoodwinked her into marriage so he could have a family. The woman he wanted was unavailable, so he settled for the next best thing. But all the while, he continued to pine for Hermione, including moving next door to be near her.
Harry wondered how Ginny could do this in good conscience. He hoped that the kids were unaware of this rubbish she was trying to sell to the public to get them on her side. While he could see the surface comparisons between his situation and Prince Charles, Ginny was no Diana. Diana was a flawed and troubled woman, but she was a humanitarian who spent hours with the elderly, the sick and the powerless to make their lives a little better. What had Ginny done other than play professional Quidditch and spoil her children?
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Later that day, Harry met with Anthony in his office to discuss the latest development in his divorce saga.
"This has Gloria Redall's fingerprints all over." Anthony said, waving a copy of the Prophet. "Is any of this rubbish true?"
Harry shook his head. "Yes and no. I mean, the stuff she said about our friendship, the conversations in the yard and the locket are true, but she's spinning it to look like Hermione and I were having an illicit affair."
"So, all of it's circumstantial. There's nothing here of her catching you kissing or finding you in bed together. Ginny has no proof of adultery and the photo of you leaving Hermione's house could be explained away. You're neighbors and friends, so it's not unusual for you to be seen leaving her home." Anthony explained.
"The challenge we face is that Ginny's people are using the press to get the public on her side. They are hoping that will sway the judge by ruining your character. Harry, I was hoping to ignore the press, but now that Ginny's team has done this, we need to fight back and wage a campaign to show that you are not an adulterous liar, but a model citizen and father. But instead of pitching puff pieces about you to the papers, we need to gather character references about you for the judge. He or she will be your most important audience."
"To whom should I be asking these character references?" Harry asked.
"You should ask people who have known you a long time, on a professional or personal basis. Long time friends
or family, bosses, and co-workers are the norm - those who can vouch that you are a responsible, honest and a good
father. You should also have at least one reference who has observed you with your kids."
"Well, I don't think asking my colleagues and my superiors at the Ministry will be a problem."
"What about your friends?" Anthony asked.
"Well, there's Hermione…" Harry said.
"Harry, I know Hermione would be an excellent reference for you, but given your current situation, I don't think she'd be the best candidate. And what about Ron, how is your relationship with him holding up under the circumstances?"
Harry sighed. "Not well, we're not really talking at the moment. Ron resigned from his post at the Ministry and is working with his brother George at his joke shop."
Harry neglected to mention that the last time he saw him he accused him of having an affair with his wife.
"That's too bad." Anthony said. "If we could get Ron to write a letter for you that would speak volumes to the judge. He is your oldest friend, and I'm sure he can vouch for you as a father. And if he chose you over his sister…"
"Anthony, there's no way that's going to happen, blood is thicker than water, I'm afraid. But I can ask my godson, Teddy for help."
"That's right, I forgot you have a godson. Teddy would be a great reference. But if we got Ron as well, that would clinch it. Perhaps you should consider paying him a visit. It doesn't hurt to ask him, all he can say is no."
"I don't know about this, Anthony." Harry shook his head.
"Harry, do you want to see your kids?"
"Of course I do, that's why I hired you!" Harry exclaimed.
"Well, then I would recommend you put a trip Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes on your calendar."
TBC
A/N: Sorry to the Ron haters out there, but he's going to make another appearance soon.
As for the Charles/Diana/Camilla comparisons, I recently watched the interview that Diana did in '95 where she talked about her troubles with the Windsors. I saw some surface similarities that made sense for this story.
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