"But why would he go against his best friend?"
Evelyn stared hard at Lily, unable to take her seriously.
"It just makes no sense." Lily shifted on her bed, potions homework long since forgotten. "Honestly, he sauntered into the common room asking what was wrong, telling me I should listen to and sympathize with Sirius, and then left after saying he wasn't worthy of me."
Lily sighed and Evelyn felt herself falling into confusion. "Wait- James said he wasn't worthy of you?"
"What?"
"James left after saying he wasn't worthy of you?"
"No," Lily informed, sending Evelyn a look. "James said Sirius wasn't worthy of me. Aren't you listening, Ev?"
Irritated, Lily picked up her quill and began doodling on her parchment. She wasn't even going to attempt her potions homework; didn't Slughorn understand the stress she was going through? Infidelity, break-ups, love, betrayal. And now Evelyn wasn't even listening to her problems. The one person Lily needed more than anyone right now couldn't even keep track of the story Lily was trying to tell her.
"Yes, Lily, I'm listening," Evelyn pronounced, the same was she always did when she was trying to digest information, "but I need a few minutes to get this straight. There are too many pronouns in your story." In typical fashion, Evelyn tore a piece of Lily's parchment and snatched the quill from her friend's hand.
"Let me see if I can get this straight," she muttered. "You and Sirius: happy couple." Evelyn drew two smiling stick figures holding hands. "All is ruined when Maeve," she crossed out Lily and put Maeve's stick figure next to her, "does something with Sirius- and we still wonder what it was, because if Maeve is anything at all, it is certainly not a whore."
Lily had to agree. She had been nice to Maeve; if not friends, then close acquaintances. A modest girl, innocent and pure, in all sense of appearances at the least. She was chased by her own set of Hogwarts males, but no rumors of credibility had been circulated about her. This incident, however, forced Lily to wonder.
"Cut to you crying in the bathroom," Evelyn continued, piecing together a drawing of the Heads bathroom (which, Lily had to admit, was impeccably drawn, considering Evelyn had been in there fewer than a handful of times), "and Sirius crying outside of it. He--"
"I'm not sure he was crying," Lily interrupted. "I mean, his face was pale and drawn, but I didn't see tears falling down his face."
Evelyn stared at Lily. "Take it from a girl who has four brothers and an overprotective father: men cry. They don't want you to think that, and they're good at hiding it, but if you left Sirius in the dust and he really wanted you back, he would be crying. What color were his eyes? Were they shiny?"
"I didn't look into his eyes."
"And why not?"
"Don't sound so scandalized. What difference would looking into his eyes have made?"
Evelyn gasped. "All the difference in the world! Your eyes would have been his undoing, Lily, and all of his faults would have spilled out. A woman's eyes are like free Veritaserum."
Lily raised her eyebrows.
"So he was crying, agreed?" Evelyn continued. "You open the door, tell him off, run to the dorm. James Potter," she then drew a stick figure with bulging muscles, messy hair, and a halo, "comes to the rescue."
"You're giving him a bit much credit, Ev." Lily couldn't look away from the picture. "I mean, he has muscles, but they aren't... bulging like that. Yes, his arms are nicely shaped, but his chest and abs- oh, Merlin, he's--"
She cut off when Evelyn cleared her throat. "Er, right, then," Lily stuttered, attempting to clear her head. "Anyway, right-o. Where were we?"
"I think you were just about to confess your undying love for James Potter."
"I should think not! His body is just nice."
Evelyn laughed. "Right. So he enters the common room, starts telling you that Sirius isn't as bad as he seems and then starts saying that Sirius is actually worse than he seems. He ends the conversation with the idea that you should not take Sirius back, but should start dating him, James, instead."
A stick figure halfway out of the portrait whole appeared on the paper.
"And now you're here. Is that correct?"
Lily nodded, chuckling a bit as she looked over Evelyn's illustrations. "Art's your calling, Ev."
"Oh, yes, I hear the Mona Lisa was originally drawn to be a stick figure. Don't know why Da Vinci changed his mind."
They fell silent as Lily mulled over the recent events in her head. She still didn't know what to do. James- he had looked, sounded so sincere. Lily just wasn't sure what he was playing at. Sirius was his best mate. She didn't understand why James would be after his friend's ex.
That would ruin their friendship. Lily was sure Sirius sent James to do damage control, and James instead chose to swoop in and attempt to take Lily for himself. She had to wonder at James's audacity. It made her want to date Sirius again just to make a point.
It just didn't feel right. Going with Sirius again felt wrong somehow, but going with James didn't feel like the correct course of action, either. She still didn't know what to do. She needed help.
Slowly, Lily reached under her pillow, grabbing the piece of parchment that had been plaguing her. "I may have left a little part out," she said, turning to Evelyn.
Curious, Evelyn read the list quickly, skimming over all the contents before glancing up at Lily. "Well, this looks like a conflict."
"It is," Lily nodded.
"He's all tied up," Evelyn noted, almost to herself. "For some reason, however, his negative side is focused primarily on aesthetics." She paused, waiting for Lily to defend herself. "I would think a girl, particularly you, would want more from a relationship than reputation and a good shag."
Lily reddened at her comment. Of course Evelyn knew that Lily loved the way her and Sirius looked together. Of course she knew when Lily lost her virginity- even before Lily had told her. Evelyn knew Lily better than Lily knew herself.
But she hadn't expected Evelyn to so correctly decipher what Lily wouldn't even admit to herself.
"Unless there's a factor that pushes Sirius to the heavens, I'm not sure he's worthy," Evelyn said quietly.
Lily couldn't find words. "I think... he might." She paused. "There's... I didn't know where to put it." Quickly, Lily drew in a new column, Neutral, and placed impulsiveness neatly under. "I don't know if it's good or bad."
Evelyn didn't know either. "You need to be honest with yourself, or you aren't going to be happy."
"I know."
"Deep inside you know whether his impulse is a plus or a minus."
"I know."
"You're leaning one way. Don't be scared of it."
"James," Lily croaked, clearing her throat. "James said that... making this list was a sign that... Sirius isn't right for me. He said--" she broke off, sighing. "He told me that if I had to make a list to see if Sirius was the one, it's a sign that he's not. He said it was a sign that someone is better than Sirius. Someone waiting for me that's all Sirius is and more." Her eyes were focused on her duvet. "I asked how I would find that man, and James said it was him."
Lily looked at Evelyn, her eyes in a silent question.
Evelyn shrugged. "Perhaps he's right."