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Testing Defenses by canoncansodoff
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Testing Defenses

canoncansodoff

Testing Defenses

Disclaimer: Not my characters, no money being made, etc., etc.

Chapter 7: Susan's Visit

Lisa was quick to notice that Harry seemed quite bashful when they woke the next morning. The young wizard counted to eleven with one hand covering his bits, slipped out of bed with a pillow pinned against his lap, and emerged from the Port-a-loo wearing a tightly knotted towel around his waist.

"What's with the sudden modesty?" Lisa teased.

"It's more like self-defense," Harry replied with a slight grin. "I had a bad dream last night, and the Dark Lord had really, really big teeth."

Lisa giggled. "Sorry about that…guess my dream catchers need more practice."

"Oh, no…it's not them, they're brilliant," Harry replied. "It's your other bits that scare the hell out of me."

"Such is the lot in life of those who serve the goddess Vesta," Lisa replied, as she placed the back of her hand across her forehead and sighed melodramatically.

The young witch then sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She looked down towards her bare lap and spotted a stray hair sitting on her leg, closer to her knee than her crotch. She picked it up with her fingertips and held it up for inspection.

"Hmmm, coarse and curly….definitely a pube, but it's a little too long and too black," she noted. Touching the strand against her tongue, Lisa pronounced, "Doesn't taste like mine, either. Hey Harry, is this one of yours, or is it a leftover from Fleur or Katie?"

To her amused satisfaction, the young wizard slipped into a coughing fit.

"No, couldn't be Fleur's, she likes a smooth landing strip, and Katie's pubes are more brown than black," Lisa continued.

"That reminds, me," she purred, once he calmed down, "I seem to have forgotten my toiletry bag…do you have a toothbrush that I can borrow?"

Harry snorted. "Imagine you need more than one, eh?"

Lisa laughed. "Nice…I have to say that while your modesty is a step backwards, that the snarky come-backs are coming along quite nicely."

"Thanks…I guess," Harry replied.

"You're welcome," Lisa said brightly. "Don't worry about your toothbrush though…it's probably too small and the bristles are probably too soft for my liking."

Harry shook his head. After a moment, he reached for the knot of his towel and replied, "Keep talking like that, and I'll have something to give you that is as hard as a rock."

Lisa's eyes sparkled as she rested her chin on her fingers in mock concentration. "Hmmm….good marks on snide and sexual innuendo, and bonus points for the coordinated hand gesture, but the line was delivered a few beats too late. Try to work on the timing of your witty retorts over the summer, okay?"

Harry snorted. "Well, if the trend continues, I'll have no shortage of witches to practice on...so you didn't bring a bag…is there anything specific that you need?"

Lisa inspected her tattooed area rather explicitly, and then snarked, "Only a drying charm and a few minutes of alone time to buff my calluses."

Eyes gone wide, Harry let an "Eep!" escape from his lips. While the recent string of visits had made him much more confident and comfortable around scantily-clad, saucy-mouthed witches, there were still times when he was struck speechless.

"Gotcha!" Lisa exclaimed. But then her smile faltered, and she added, "But seriously, folks…we need a photo before I go. Ted had the newspaper and camera in his bag, and should have left it behind last night. I'll just go and get it…"

"That's alright, allow me," Harry quickly replied. "Last thing I need is to have my Aunt spot you leaving my bedroom starkers."

"No, Harry, the last thing you need is your Aunt spotting Oliver Wood leaving your room starkers."

"What?" asked Harry. "Don't tell me that you girls have been sharing stories!"

"Why of course," Lisa replied. "The witches that Hermione has sent your way have been sharing everything with her."

"Oh, Merlin," Harry lamented.

Lisa nodded. "We're just hoping that Hermione returns the favor and eventually decides to share you with us."

"What?" Harry stammered. "But I thought…you said you liked girls…and the teeth…"

Lisa chuckled. "There's a three-month probationary period for Coven membership," she explained. "If it doesn't work out, I can always decide to leave."

"But…the extra set of…"

"Baby teeth," Lisa explained.

"Baby teeth?"

"Yup…baby teeth. If I don't take a second potion after three months, they'll eventually fall out."

"And how long would that take?"

"About a year," said Lisa. "Less, if you find someone motivated enough to reach in and wiggle them for you."

"Now there's a way to boost dental school enrollments."

"Oh, well done, Harry…that retort was spot on."

The young wizard took a bow, and then asked, "So what would you do with the teeth once they're out?"

"Why, put them under my pillow, of course."

"And wait for the tooth fairy to come?"

"Harry," Lisa said with a bit of exasperation, "Given the circumstances what good would do to have a fairy visit me in bed?"

"But…I thought that you liked girls?"

"I do, Harry…don't you?"

"Erm, of course I do."

Lisa shrugged her shoulders. "So I've had some fun times and shared some killer orgasms with other witches…I could always decide that it was a phase."

"A phase?"

Lisa shrugged her shoulders. "Sure… after all, it's something that nearly every witch goes through at Hogwarts."

Harry paused. "You're teasing me."

"Nope," Lisa said with a smile. "We share each others beds all the time in the Ravenclaw girls' dorm…how else are we supposed to stay warm in that drafty old castle?"

"Erm…warming charms?"

Lisa dismissed Harry's answer with a wave. "Warming charms don't taste nearly as good as warm witches."

"Erm…guess I'll have to take your word on that."

"Not for too much longer, I imagine," Lisa replied with a lecherous grin.

oo00OO00oo

Harry convinced Lisa that he should be the one to look for Brother Ted's bag, and left her alone for what she informed him would be "some quality time with my calluses."

He was sure to knock first when he returned.

Not having found the black bag that Lisa had described, Harry substituted his Aunt's muggle camera, and that morning's Times.

"Oh, what a lifesaver," Lisa announced, as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Okay, I'm ready, how about you?"

Harry took one look at her and shook his head. "Lisa, this might be one of those situations that calls for a bit of clothing."

"Pish posh, Harry Potter," Lisa chirped, as she took the newspaper and held the front page in front of her chest. "See? This newspaper provides full coverage."

Considering the size of the newspaper and the amount of cleavage it left uncovered, Harry's response was, "Just barely." He grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of cut-offs from his chest of drawers and quickly slipped them on.

"Oh, you're no fun," she whined.

"Remember the intended audience, Lisa," Harry said with a smile. "I don't think the Headmaster needs to see my bare chest."

"Yeah, but Hermione does," the witch replied.

"Won't argue that point," Harry quipped. Once dressed, he had Lisa sit on the bed while he propped the camera up on his desk.

"Oh, bugger," he swore. "I don't think this camera has a delayed exposure button."

"Language, Harry, and what does that mean?"

Harry stopped to consider just how strange it was that a flirty naked witch was admonishing him for inappropriate language, but decided not to push the point.

"It means that if we both want to be in the picture that we'll have to get somebody else to take the photograph."

"Oh," Lisa replied. "How about your Aunt…she seemed nice enough."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Harry replied. He then got a wicked thought. "I've got an idea, but you'll have wear a little more than the headlines."

"You're no fun," the witch replied, but eventually complied with Harry's suggestion and slipped the Fleur's transfigured jumper over her head.

"A little short for a dress, don't you think?"

"Okay, okay, so I'll stretch it a bit," Lisa said. She got out her wand and lowered the hem of the jumper until it just covered her bum.

Harry led Lisa downstairs and opened the front door. Pulling the witch into a one-armed hug, he then called out, "Oh Mr. Order of the Phoenix Wizard? We need a little help here."

There was no answer.

"Oh, come up, Shack, the game is up," Harry called out. "Might as well be a good sport about it."

The supposedly good sport in question tested Harry's characterization by firing a stunning spell towards the two teenagers. Half expecting a less than charitable response, Harry had been watching for this, and pulled Lisa down to the ground to avoid being hit. He pulled his wand and fired a back a spell that set the azalea bush on fire.

"Cease fire, the both of you," a voice called out, as Mad-Eye Moody cancelled his disillusionment spell and hobbled up the walk. "And that includes that bush!"

The retired Auror looked down at the two teenagers and leered.

"Give it a rest, Shacklebolt," he called out. "So you got bested by a underaged witch. Don't make it worse by hexing the boy that you're supposed to be protecting."

Some muttering was heard as a rather annoyed Auror broke his cover and sprayed water on the foliage with his wand.

As Lisa and Harry untangled themselves, her tattoo set Mad-Eye's prosthetic eye spinning wildly.

"Merlin's testicles, a Vestal Virgin?" he cried out. "I'd admire your balls, Potter, except that she probably took stole them from you!"

"No worries, Mad-Eye," Harry replied with a snort. "I didn't go poking around where I didn't belong last night." Taking measure of Kingsley's attitude, he asked the retired Auror if he would take the necessary picture.

"Fine idea," the one-eyed wizard replied, as he took the camera and smiled. "Hey Shack, squeeze in next to the virgin."

"Which one?"

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Sod off, Kingsley."

"Language, Harry," Lisa said.

"Yes, dear," he shot back sarcastically.

"Right then, just the two of you," Mad-Eye interjected, as he raised the camera to his organic eye. "Hey Harry, raise that newspaper up a few inches…I want to get that tattoo in the picture."

"Not a chance, Mad-Eye," Harry said with a grin.

As the two teens smiled for the camera, Auror Shacklebolt fumed. "So how'd you do it this time, Potter?"

"I didn't do anything," Harry replied. "You'll have to ask Lisa."

When the Auror shifted his gaze, the young witch asked, "Would you like your own copy of the Book of Mormon, Auror Shacklebolt?"

"Damn it, I new better then to trust those two boys!"

Harry turned his grin towards the Auror once Mad-Eye had taken the picture.

"I kind of liked the irony, myself. A nearly-naked witch sneaking into the house behind muggles preaching against the evils of sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll…all we needed was some AC/DC playing in the background as she slipped under your nose."

The Auror's muttering made it clear that he didn't appreciate Harry's joke.

Lisa said that she needed to get going and Mad-Eye offered her the camera

"Hold on a second, I need to give Harry his shirt back," the witch replied, as she started to pull her arms out from the sleeves.

"Oh, no, that's quite all right, you keep it," Harry said quickly as he reached out to stop her.

"Are you sure?" Lisa asked with a smile. "Because I do have my Vow of Nudity to consider,"

"And I have Mad-Eye's health to consider," Harry replied. "You'll give him a heart attack if you show him any more than you already have."

"The way she fills that jumper…I'm willing to take the risk," stated Mad-Eye.

Lisa smiled as she reached out and cupped the retired Auror's battle-scarred cheek. "Such a brave wizard …too bad that I'm only sixteen."

"Dolt!" scowled Mad-Eye, doing a very passable imitation of a muggle cartoon icon that he'd never seen before.

"Azka-bait!" grinned Shacklebolt (doing his best to feel better at Moody's expense).

Lisa chuckled as she kissed Harry on his cheek and walked down to the curb. Her outstretched wand summoned the Knight Bus, which stopped directly in front of Number Four (the three wizards that were watching her go all thought to take preventive measures and cast area silencing spells that muffled the loud crack of the Bus's arrival).

When the bus door opened, Stan took one look at Lisa and promptly forgot to read his standard welcome off of his notecard. He became doubly distracted when, halfway up the steps, she stopped, slowly patted down her bum and bare thighs and announced, "Oh, dear…somebody's stolen my pockets."

Lisa turned back towards the three wizards and asked, "Would any of you be able to lend a young witch some bus fare?"

The slightly befuddled conductor tapped her on the shoulder, and informed her she could ride free.

"Oh, thank you, kind sir," Lisa beamed, as she stepped up and planted a kiss on the conductor's red cheek. She then turned back to the three and called out, "I'll be seeing you Harry."

"I'm sure you will," muttered Harry, as he waved goodbye.

As the door swung shut Harry turned and noticed that Mad-Eye and Kingsley had also been bewitched by Lisa's performance.

Kingsley shook his head to clear his mind. "Think we should have Obliviated everyone on the bus?"

Mad-Eye Moody thought for a moment, and then concluded, "No, I think that their eyes were focused on the Virgin…they could have stopped in front of Buckingham Palace and never noticed."

"Let's all go inside, then, and I'll make some breakfast," said Harry. "Best you two aren't tempted to chase after the bus offering an underage witch something that she couldn't give back."

oo00OO00oo

Harry used the time spent frying up bacon and eggs to quiz the two wizards sitting at the kitchen table.

"So has anybody been to Headquarters over the past week?"

"Erm, yeah…there was a meeting there last night to discuss your busy social life," Shacklebolt quipped. "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering if the house was still protected by the Fidelius charm given the change in ownership."

Mad-Eye nodded. "We'd been avoiding meeting at Headquarters, until it was clear that it had been passed on to you. As for the Fidelius, well…it was easy enough to determine that it was still working."

"How is that?"

"Simple," Shacklebolt replied. "Each day since the attack we've had Tonks try to tell her mum or dad where the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix is located."

"And she hasn't been able to?"

"Nope."

"Well that's reassuring, at least," said Harry. He then asked, "So why didn't the Headmaster have this house protected with a Fidelius charm?"

Mad-Eye sat silently, and Harry couldn't tell if this was because he was thinking about an answer, or thinking about whether he should disclose the answer.

"Two reasons," the retired Auror finally replied. "First, Dumbledore said that it wasn't needed, given the protections provided you by your mum's sacrifice."

Harry snorted. "I think that we've discounted that point…what's the second reason?"

"The Ministry of Magic wouldn't allow it."

"What?" asked Harry.

Mad-Eye paused, then said, "It's really Dumbledore's story to tell, but the gist is that the Ministry wanted to make sure that the "Savior of the Wizarding World" was safe. They had a whole line of wizarding families willing to take you in, but Dumbledore insisted that you would only be safe placed in the muggle world with your Aunt and Uncle. The Ministry allowed this, but only if Dumbledore disclosed where you would be living, and promised not to move or hide you without informing the Ministry."

"So what?" asked Harry. "The secret could have been 'Harry Potter lives at Number Four, Privet Drive,' Dumbledore could have been the secretkeeper, and he could have shared the secret with the Minister of Magic, or the Head of the MLE."

Mad-Eye shook his head. "Might of worked, but you have to remember that back then there wasn't a whole lot of confidence in the ability of the Fidelius Charm to protect someone."

"Well that I could see," Harry decided. "Don't suppose that anyone compared the relative trustworthiness of Pettigrew versus Dumbledore."

Mad-Eye snorted. "Well, at the time everyone thought that Black was your family's secret keeper, so no, they didn't."

Harry thought for a few moments while he concentrated on transferring bacon from pan to the different plates. He had follow-up questions, but was afraid that if he continued that his interest might become suspicious, so he stayed quiet.

Mad-Eye noticed that Harry was fixing an extra plate of food, and asked, "Plans for another visitor, eh? Not surprised…must have been rather frustrating for you last night…"

"No, this is for my Aunt," Harry replied, looking down at the plate. "I half-expect her to hole up in her bedroom all day, given how things have gone pear-shaped for her."

"Being nice to your Aunt?" Mad-Eye asked incredulously. "After how she treated you over the years?"

Harry shrugged her shoulders. "She actually thanked me for doing magic yesterday…might be a chance to win her over, and you catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

The retired Auror shook his head. "Better man than I, Potter."

"Nah, it's really rather selfish," Harry explained. "My soon-to-be ex-Uncle and Cousin weren't needed around here, but if there really are wards tied to my mother's blood, then I'll still need to share a roof with my Aunt this summer and next."

"You should have been sorted Slytherin," said Shacklebolt, in between mouthfuls of eggs.

"No, it's his lassie that's the cunning one," Mad-Eye argued. "A bit too trustworthy, but cunning."

"Yeah, well I think the Headmaster is making quick work of destroying Hermione's trust in authority figures."

"True enough," said the retired Auror. "But it was her trusting you in bed with these witches that I was thinking about."

"No, she knew what she was doing," Harry replied with a grin. "Hermione has been very careful in her screening process."

"How do you mean?"

"Well think about it, Mad-Eye," Harry replied. "First it's Luna, who needed to keep her virginity to help in her snorkack hunt this summer. Then it was Katie Bell, who fancies taller blokes…Hermione made her swear an oath she didn't fancy me. Fleur…she was a bit of a wildcard…don't think Hermione had any influence on her visit."

"What's this?" Mad-Eye asked. "I didn't know anything about a Veela spending the night."

"Oops!" said Harry, realizing that he just spilled a secret. "Well, she's only part-Veela, and was only here a few hours," he rationalized.

"How?"

"Goblin portkey…she was delivering the documents that should have been given to me at the willing reading."

The retired Auror shook his head. "Dumbledore's got a portkey barrier in place around this house, but it wouldn't have done a damn bit of good against goblin magic…."

"Don't imagine that it'd be a good enough reason to decide I needed to be moved?" Harry asked.

Mad-Eye paused for a moment, and then shook his head. "A knut will get you a galleon that Dumbledore will say that it wouldn't matter, because the Death Eaters wouldn't have access to those kinds of portkeys."

Harry snorted. "Yeah, right…so why, then, are we trying so hard to convince the goblins not to side with the Death Eaters?"

The two wizards stared at Harry for a few seconds, then turned to each other and shared a look of disgust. Shacklebolt tried to change the subject.

"What about the Weasley girl?"

"Definitely an unauthorized attempt," Harry decided. "How's she doing, by the way?"

"She'll be home from St. Mungo's in a day or two," Mad-Eye replied. "Just in time for Molly's new wards…the girl won't be going more than ten feet from the house without needing permission."

Harry nodded. "And then there's the Vestal Virgin…fat chance I'd try to take advantage of her."

Mad-Eye snickered. "Must have been your 'saving penis thing'."

Kinglsey shook his head in disbelief. "And each of these witches used a different way to find your location, and get past the guards and wards?"

Harry thought for a moment, and then replied, "Almost. Lisa reused the Underage Magic Use document method since the Headmaster didn't bother to discount it the first time."

"What Underage Magic Use method?" asked Mad-Eye.

"You mean that Dumbledore didn't tell you?" Harry asked incredulously. "Over the years, I've gotten two notices sent to this address for supposed underage magic use, and the warning letters are public documents. Anyone who wants to can go to the office and look up my address."

Both the active and retired Aurors swore.

"Why didn't the Old Bastard seal the records and obliviate Hopkirk and the others?" Mad-Eye wondered.

"Besides the fact that it would be illegal?" asked Kingsley.

"And when has that ever stopped Dumbledore when it comes to 'the greater good'?" asked Mad-Eye.

The talk about ministry records caused Harry to think of something. "Hey, don't suppose that they'd have a record of this address in the Transportation Department, would they?"

"How do you mean?" asked Shacklebolt.

"Two summers ago, the Weasleys used a temporary floo connection to liberate me…it was before the World Cup."

Mad-Eye frowned. "Well, I know that Dumbledore's always been against having a floo connection here because of security issues, so I'm sure he must have thought of it at the time."

"Just like he thought of the warning letters?" asked Harry.

There was a bit of silence in the kitchen, before Mad-Eye Moody turned to Kingsley.

"I'm heading over to the Ministry to do some damage control…why don't you join me once your relief arrives?"

"But I haven't gotten any sleep…"

"Plenty of time for that now that Potter's harem has kicked you off of guard rotation." He then added, "Besides, maybe if you help close a few of these holes you can change the subject when Dumbledore dresses you down in front of the others."

The Auror considered Mad-Eye's point for a moment, then agreed. The two wizards left Harry with that extra plate of food (that now needed to be reheated). After quick zap in the microwave, Harry carried a tray with that plate and a pot of tea upstairs.

"Aunt Petunia?" he asked, as he knocked on her door. "I brought some breakfast for you."

A muffled "Go away!" came back in response.

Harry paused to consider his options. His favorite idea was rather edgy, if his goal was to make peace with his Aunt. But it was also the most functional response, and one that positively reeked with poetic justice.

Harry drew out his wand and cast a localized transfiguration spell on the master bedroom's door. After repocketing his wand, he pushed the tray of food through a newly fashioned cat-flap, and quietly walked away.

oo00OO00oo

Without his tutor around, Harry decided to enjoy his silk sheets and expanded bedroom, as he reconsidered the changed conditions and relative safety of Privet Drive. It was no longer his Aunt and Uncle's house, it was his; Vernon was gone, and Petunia remained only so long as he suffered her presence.

Communication was still a big issue, although it had nothing to do with how his relatives were treating him. It was Dumbledore that was blocking his mail, Dumbledore that insisted that Hedwig spend the summer based at the Burrow, and Dumbledore that was keeping Harry from meeting with the Goblins (either in person, or via owl or floo).

The thought of floo conversations brought Harry's mind back to the earlier discussion on the sitting room fireplace's temporary hook-up. It probably would be unsafe to establish a permanent floo connection on the Ministry's network, but couldn't an off-line direct connection be made to Gringott's? He then wondered how the goblins communicated with each other, and whether they had their own floo network…and if so, whether there was any connectivity between the two systems.

Harry had been staring off into space during this musing, but when his eyes returned their focus he found them resting on the bare computer wires under Dudley's desk. He then realized that there were lots of different computer networks that could talk to each other using the Internet. And then he thought about floo travel, and how King's Cross was a node that connected a wizard transportation system with a muggle system, and that King's Cross also was a node between the muggle Tube and muggle regional surface rail lines, and….

And suddenly Harry decided that he needed to talk with the goblins.

Harry shuffled through the papers on his desk for the business card that his Aunt had returned to him the night previous. Once he found it he bounded downstairs and called the bank manager. He had some communication issues to discuss, and wanted to pay for the expert opinions of a goblin ward master. And if there was time for the goblin to inspect the warding around Privet Drive, so much the better.

Harry had a stack of sketches, diagrams and notes ready by the time that a goblin arrived in Harry's bedroom via portkey. The one-hour meeting, which had been arranged only after Harry's account manager had called in a bag of favors, quickly turned into a three-hour brainstorming session. The goblin ward master left Privet Drive with newfound respect for human ingenuity and visions of galleons dancing in his head. Just how many galleons was the topic of a second meeting, which lasted the entire afternoon, and included a small army of goblin accountants, contract negotiators, and craftsmen. Harry wasn't surprised at all that these visitors failed to attract the attention of either his despondent Aunt, or Order guard(s).

At the end of what turned out to be a very long and tiring day, the goblins returned to Gringott's using Harry's new connection to their floo network, and he was once again alone in his room.

Harry's initial efforts to fall asleep that night failed, as his brain hopped back and forth between the new floo and naked witches. Thinking that a soak in the hot tub might help, he traipsed off to the Port-a-loo, stripped down, and slipped neck deep into the soothing waters. In the process, he forgot all about constant vigilance; as he closed his eyes and relaxed, his back faced the tent flaps and his wand was out of reach. Harry's hand was working in conjunction with his libido when this hubristic negligence was suddenly (and violently) brought to his attention.

"Whack!"

"Ouch!" Harry yelped, as he covered his cuffed ear with a hand and dove away from the attack. He didn't realize that he was wandless until he turned and spied a red-tinged spell barreling for his head. Any thoughts of ducking were crowded out of Harry's head by two things (four, if you counted a pair of bare breasts): a) the sight of Susan Bones dressed in black leather thigh-high boots, a silk whalebone corset, and matching thong; and, b) the realization that she looked hot.

Ten minutes later…

Not quite convinced that a simple Ennervate would revive the young wizard, Susan combined the reviving spell with a hard thwack! on Harry Potter's bare arse.

"Ouch!" Harry yelled, regaining his wits just in time to recoil from the pain.

He found himself back inside his bedroom proper, standing naked and spread-eagled. His feet were stuck to the floor, while his manacled wrists were stretched out towards the ceiling, held in place with magical iron chains. Feeling extremely exposed, he tried to bring his legs together, but failed as another blow struck his bum with a loud thwack.

"Don't bother, Harry," a voice said from over his shoulder. "I like a wide stance."

Thwack!

Harry's shock at being spanked was doubled (maybe tripled) by the realization that the punishment was being delivered not by a bare hand or belt, but by a leather riding crop.

"Ouch!" he cried. "Stop, Susan…what are you doing?"

The voice behind him declared, "You will call me Mistress Susan, whelp."

Thwack!

"Oww!" Harry yelled. "Fine, Mistress Susan, please…stop!"

"Are you sure that you want me to stop?" the young witch replied, as she walked into Harry's peripheral vision. She peeked around front and noted, "Looks to me like you are enjoying yourself."

Harry looked down at his crotch and swallowed hard. "It was hard before you stunned me," he explained quickly. "It hasn't had time to go soft."

His tormentor chuckled. "So tell me, Harry…why were you hard in the hot tub?"

"Erm…"

Thwack!

"Ouch, bloody hell…erm, well…it was hard because I was excited."

"More like you were wanking," Susan replied. "Such a naughty wizard, playing with himself…"

Thwack!

"Ouch!….Susan, stop it!" Harry begged, as he twisted back and forth against his magical restraints. "Where in hell is Mad-Eye when you need him?" he wondered. The answer came to Harry soon after: "Probably sitting across the street with a bowl of popcorn enjoying the show."

Susan stepped up and used the butt end of her leather flog to tickle Harry's exposed armpit. "What did you call me?"

"Erm, sorry…Mistress Susan, please stop."

Her left breast pressed against his side as Susan stood on her tiptoes and whispered into his ear. "So who were you thinking about when you were diddling?"

"Erm, well, I'd rather not say…"

"Why not, Harry…too embarrassed?" Susan asked, walking around to face Harry. A fine sheen of sweat covered her arms and upper torso. The black silk corset that covered her abdomen lifted and separated her bare breasts, and the hard nubs on the ends of those breasts made it clear that at least one person was into the scene.

"Please don't tell me you fancy a wizard," Susan said, as she tapped the riding crop against her hand. "Because that would disappoint me greatly, and…"

"No!" Harry said emphatically. "It was a witch."

"So, a witch…was it Lisa, or Fleur, or Katie, or…."

"None of them."

"Luna, then?" asked Susan. "Well, I guess I didn't see that coming…"

"No, it wasn't her, either!"

"Interesting," Susan replied, with a bemused lilt in her voice. "So you want me to stop smacking your bright red arse, huh?"

"Yes, Sus…Mistress Susan."

"And you're not saying stop when you really don't want me to stop?"

"No, erm…I mean yes, I'm not saying stop because I want you to keep spanking me…I want you to stop."

"Hmmm, how am I supposed to know when 'no' means 'no'?" she asked herself. Susan rested her chin on her hand, as if she really was pondering the issue.

"Just a moment, Harry," she finally said. "I need to look something up."

Susan rubbed by Harry and disappeared from his view. She reappeared with a large leather-bound book in her hands. Taking a cross-legged seat on the floor in front of him, she started to flip through the pages.

Harry gulped when he read the title: "Pain-by-numbers: A Beginner's Guide for the Aspiring Dominatrix."

"Erm, Susan?"

"That's Mistress Susan, Harry," she retorted.

"Right…Mistress Susan, are you new at this sort of thing?"

Susan nodded without bringing her eyes up from the book. "Just started today."

"Why today?"

"Because I've always wanted to try this, and after what I heard from Hermione, I wanted to slap some sense into you," she replied. "And with Dumbledore's latest excuse, well…I volunteered to jump to the head of the line."

"What line?"

"The line of visitors, of course," replied Susan. "I wasn't scheduled until Mandy, Hannah, Su Li, and Padma had their shots…I think Hermione was afraid that I might enjoy the visit a little too much."

"Was she right?"

Susan looked up towards Harry and smiled. "You're still hard, Harry…looks like you enjoy playing spanky-spank too."

Harry shook his head. "Any chance that it's because there's a pretty bare-breasted witch sitting two feet away from my crotch?"

Susan giggled. "Oh, Harry, you say the nicest things." She then gave him an evil grin. "So maybe we can test that hypothesis…I'll start fondling myself, and if your willie twitches, then…"

"Or maybe if you covered them up, and I calmed down, then…"

Susan thrust her breasts out towards Harry. "But don't you like them?"

Harry sighed, wondering why it was that every visiting witch wanted him to weigh in on her breasts.

"They're very pretty, Susan…that's the point…that's why I am pointing towards them."

"Oh," the young witch replied. She looked around, and spying Harry's quidditch jersey on his bed, summoned it to her.

"Wonder if this still smells like…yup, that's Katie's perfume, alright...holding it close to you at night, then?"

"No, just…haven't had time to do laundry."

"Who would, with your social calendar?" Susan replied. She slipped the jersey over her head.

"There, no more distractions…and maybe now I can…"

With a few swishes of her wand her corset came undone and she pulled it out from under the shirt.

"It helped me get into the role," she explained, "but made it damn hard to breathe."

Harry nodded, swallowing an innuendo-filled retort in light of his circumstances.

Susan returned her focus to the book, and a few moments later announced, "Safe words!"

"Safe words?" asked Harry.

The young witch nodded. "Sorry, must of skipped over that chapter…at the start of each session, the dom and sub should agree on a safe word that the sub will use when he or she wants the scene to stop."

"So when they heard the safe word, the…dom was it?…the dom would know that stop means stop?"

Susan nodded as she closed the book and set it on the floor. Rising to her feet, she grabbed her whip and said, "Better late than never, I guess…what's your safe word, Harry?"

"Stop."

"No, no…it has to be a word that you wouldn't think of using given the situation…something non-sexual."

"Oh, then Umbitch."

Susan shuttered. "Perfectly unsexy," she concluded. "Okay, here we go…."

Thwack!

"Ouch! You didn't give me a chance to say Umbitch again."

"Sorry, did you want to?"

"Yes! Umbitch! Umbitch! Umbitch!"

"You're no fun," Susan replied. "I suppose that means you want to have your arms and legs free too?"

"Yes."

"Okay, but first…."

Susan disappeared from Harry's view again, and when he felt the cool, soothing relief of essence of murtlap being rubbed on his bum he understood why.

"Easier to apply this now, I figure," she explained.

"Also makes sure that you'd get the chance to apply it, huh?" asked Harry.

"Thought never crossed my mind," Susan said with a grin. Once she was done healing the wounds that she had inflicted, she released Harry's bonds and summoned his dressing gown. Susan sat down and patted the bed next to her as he wrapped the gown around himself.

"Sit down, and let's talk," she said.

Harry shook his head as he double-knotted the sash of his gown, found his wand, and backed up against the opposite wall without turning his back.

"No thanks, I'll stand."

"Poo!"

"Susan, what in Merlin's name are you doing here?"

"Testing defenses."

"Which ones?"

"Both, actually," Susan replied with a grin.

"So did they fail?"

The young witch shook her head. "Only Dumbledore's."

"So what was the test?"

"Dumbledore agreed that Lisa was a stranger, but said that the wards let her pass because she didn't intend to do you harm."

"So…the next test was to send somebody that intended to do me harm?"

"Exactly."

Harry frowned. "But why?"

"Why did I want to slap some sense into you, Harry Potter?" Answering her own question, Susan added, "Because you needed it."

"Why?"

"Because you've been acting like a piss-poor boyfriend to Hermione, and, I might add, ruining the wanking fantasies of all of the rest of us."

Harry squinted at the Hufflepuff. "Explain that last part first, please."

Susan smiled. "Oh Harry, you really don't have a clue how dead-sexy and desirable you are, do you?"

"Erm…guess not."

Susan snorted in disbelief.

"So there was some other reason why Patsy the thestral had to fly in a holding pattern until Luna finished fanny-buffing its back?"

"Erm…"

"Somebody else that made Katie cum when you spanked her broomstick-riding arse?"

"What?…No, but I didn't mean to…never would have thought she got off on spanking, especially now that I know what that feels like…"

"Something other than full-frontal Harry that caused Fleur to lock herself in a Gringott's vault with an Engorgement-charmed index finger?"

"Well…never thought about using that charm that way…but it wasn't like…"

"And then there's Lisa, who just this morning was offered a fresh set of sheets by the Knight Bus conductor because she had soaked the old ones at the thought of another night's worth of sticking charms…"

"You're kidding me, right?"

Susan stared at Harry, deciding that not to add that it wasn't sweat that had drenched her knickers.

"Erm, well, don't know what to say," continued Harry.

"Look, Harry…you're the dream boyfriend, not just because of your looks, and wealth, and fame, and power, but the way that you've always been so attentive to your girlfriend. It's enough to make damn near any witch bury her fingers in her knickers."

"But I don't have a girlfriend."

"Of course you do, Harry," Susan said matter-of-factly. "You just haven't realized it yet."

"What…who….Hermione?" Harry asked.

Susan smiled and nodded.

"But, it's not that I wouldn't want to be her boyfriend, it's just that…how can we be boyfriend and girlfriend if we haven't talked about it?"

"Exactly, Harry," Susan replied. "How could you and Hermione talk about your relationship when you never write to her….never call her…never even try to visit?"

"What you mean?" Harry asked. "You probably know well enough that Dumbledore's blocked my mail, and that Hedwig's away, and that there's Order guards ready to stun me if I try and leave."

Susan snorted. "She's written to you, though, hasn't she? Didn't think that the witches that she sent your way along with her posts could be used to send letters back in the other direction?"

"Well yes, but I always seemed to get distracted, or something came up…"

"I bet something came up…it probably came a few times as well," Susan snarked. "Tell me Harry, where does Hermione live?"

"Somewhere close, in Surrey."

"No, I mean…muggle home or wizard home?"

"Muggle of course."

"And is this house a muggle or magical house?"

"Muggle, most definitely."

"So how does one muggle house communicate with another?"

"Erm, well there's the telephone."

"Never thought to ring her up?"

"Erm, actually, no…never had the chance when my Uncle had me locked up, so I guess I didn't think about it…"

"That's right, Harry, you didn't think. Didn't think about what she's done for you, or how worried she was about what the other girls might do, or get you to do when they were staying over."

Harry professed his innocence. "But we didn't do anything!"

"Right," Susan said dismissively. "You just spent some naked time in the hot tub with them, slept naked with them, kissed them, handed out rain checks, slapped their arses, and flirted…."

"But…it wasn't like that!" Harry exclaimed. "Even when I had somebody sleeping close to me I was thinking about Hermione."

"And how would she know that, huh?"

Harry let out a deep sigh and hung his head. "Guess you're right…I've been a lousy friend to Hermione, and don't have the right to even think about her as anything more than that."

"Oh, cut the self-remorseful pity party," Susan chided. "Hermione's heard it all, and knows that the others tried their best to seduce you and failed. She just wishes you had thought to tell her that yourself."

"Huh," grunted Harry. "So what do I do now?"

"Depends," Susan replied. "Do you want to make things straight again with your girlfriend?"

Harry nodded. "Even if it means she laughs in my face, or slaps it, I need to try."

Susan smiled. "Well good for you, Harry. Then all you need to do now is learn how to make it up to her."

Harry nodded. "Flowers and chocolates?"

Susan scrunched her nose. "A good start, but you've got some backlog to clear. You'll need to pamper her."

"What do you have in mind?"

The young witch smiled.

"Well, we'll start with a letter. Then…she might like a backrub. Brushing her hair is always a nice sign that you care, and then there's the pedicure, and doing her nails…"

"But I don't know how to do any of that," Harry complained.

Susan's smile turned a bit evil as she reached for her bag and pulled out a brush and different jars of nail polish.

"Then I guess I won't be the only one learning something new tonight."