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The last revision I promise to this story! As always, these characters aren't mine, they belong to the great J.K. Rowling. The title of this story is inspired by one of my favorite songs by Lenny Kravitz "Again". Each chapter will have the title of a song that fits in with the story…hope you enjoy. Thanks to all who have been patient with me and my work in progress….
Goodbye to You
Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
Tears form behind my eyes,
But I do not cry,
Counting the days that pass me by.
-Michelle Branch "Goodbye to You"
Decisions. Choices. They can be as mundane as what you are going to wear or what toppings you might want on a pizza. They can be as monumental as who you are going to marry or what college you want to attend. The thing about them, though, is that you never know going into it, if you've made the right decision. You just take a chance and pray for the best.
I've always been an excellent decision maker. It's probably one of my best qualities, as my friends and family would tell you. My dad likes to tell people that his daughter has a "good head on her shoulders". I've always liked that compliment. I took pride in that. To me, it meant that my parents trusted me enough to let me make my own decisions.
This, however, was taken away from me, the summer before I was to begin my sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. I'm getting too far ahead, though.
To paraphrase Charles Dickens, it was the best of times and it was the worst of times. For one thing, the wizarding world was on alert with the knowledge that Lord Voldemort was back. No one knew when or how he would next attack. We were also still mourning the loss of my best friend Harry's godfather, Sirius Black.
This brings me to the problem at hand--Harry. Thoughts of him had consumed me from the end of our fifth year to the first couple of weeks of summer. What ate at me was the fact that during one of the most difficult times in his life, he was forced to live with those awful people he had to call family, the Dursleys. No doubt, they were of no comfort to Harry. I'd tried writing to him a couple of times, but hadn't gotten a response.
There was a sinking suspicion inside of me that there was something else bothering Harry. We'd been friends for so long; I could always tell when he was holding something back. There was something else going on, I felt, that he hadn't divulged to either Ron or me. One of the most infuriating things about Harry was that sometimes he felt he had to hold everything in and shoulder the burden by himself.
Whether he wanted to admit to himself or not, he needed to talk about this. It wasn't healthy to just keep things
bottled up inside.
As you can imagine with my best friend going through such a terrible ordeal, the last thing I had wanted to do was go on holiday with my parents.
That was exactly where I was, though. We'd left London a couple of days ago to go on our annual Granger family summer vacation. We had done this every year that I could remember since I was a little girl. The fun thing was that we never went to the same place twice. We would always go somewhere different each summer. One year, we went to Paris and the next we'd go to Greece.
Under normal circumstances, I loved it. Most of my peers would tell you they'd rather run a mile than spend any extra time with their parents, but not me. I've always gotten along with them and they've always treated me very well. One of the hardest things about going away to school was that I missed them. I would try and write them at least once a week to let them know what was going on with school. As they were Muggles, they didn't always understand what was going on, but they seemed to enjoy hearing about all the extraordinary things that happened in the wizarding world.
You can imagine with all that was going on with Harry and Hogwarts and Voldemort, the last thing I wanted to do was go on summer holiday. It was with much trepidation that I finally agreed to go along. Well, it wasn't so much that I agreed as I felt I had to go. My parents had been pretty adamant about it, really.
"This isn't up for debate, Hermione," my dad had said, when I'd questioned the logic of going on vacation with so much going on. "We go on holiday every summer. That isn't going to change now."
"But, Dad, this isn't really the best time," I'd argued. "What if I'm needed?"
"Hermione, I'm sure that if Harry or Ron needs you, they'll get in touch with you. I don't think either of them will fall off the face of the earth because you decide to go on holiday with your Mum and Dad, right?" he questioned me with a laugh. "Besides, it's only for three weeks."
My mother chimed in with, "It's America, sweetheart. You've never been there before and you've always told us how you'd love the chance to go."
"Well, yes," I stammered, "but I just don't think this is the best time to go anywhere."
They were steadfast in their decision that we were going on holiday. For every argument I had, they shot it down swiftly. There was really no other choice, but to go along with them, albeit reluctantly.
The plan was for them to spend a week in Atlanta, Georgia, for some international conference for dentists. They would then wrap up the remaining two weeks in Boston and New York City.
Truth by told, when we'd arrived in Atlanta, I was actually glad that we'd come. The city was bustling with excitement. While my parents were in their conferences and meetings, I was able to explore some of the city's sites. I visited some museums and the zoo where I got to see the giant pandas. I took loads of pictures as I wanted to share all that I saw with Ron and Harry. I had to stifle a giggle when I pictured Ron looking at the photos and wondering why there wasn't any movement in the pictures.
When I wasn't doing that, I spent some time by the hotel pool. This was a great way to cool off from the Atlanta heat which was pretty much stifling. Within a couple of days, I had developed a nice little tan.
I'd even seen my first glimpse of America's pastime---professional baseball. On the evenings my parents had free, we attended a couple of baseball games. Although I'm the first to let you know I'm not a huge sports fan, I will say that I quite enjoyed the game. I couldn't help thinking that I wished Ron and Harry could see me now. The two Quidditch kings would no doubt be surprised and awestruck to see their bookworm friend enjoying a baseball game. As Ron had grown up entirely in the wizarding community, I knew he wouldn't have never even seen a baseball, much less know what to do with one. Harry, who'd grown up with Muggles like me, would no doubt get a kick out of hearing about double plays, grand slams and inside-the-park homeruns. Before leaving the stadium, I made sure to purchase two Atlanta Braves t-shirts for my two best mates from a couple of vendors.
On our last day in Atlanta, however, something happened. I was busily packing my suitcase in my bedroom of the hotel suite. Actually, I was wondering how I was going to get all my clothes plus the extra stuff I'd bought into the one suitcase. Once again, I cursed the rule that we couldn't do magic outside of school.
As I was busily packing, I heard a faint knock at my door. I glanced up quickly when I heard the door open and saw my
parents standing in the doorway.
"I'm almost finished," I said swiftly. "With all this extra stuff I've bought for Harry and Ron and Ginny, I'm going to need to get another suitcase just to lug it all home!"
From the doorway, my mother gave out a hollow laugh.
"Sweetheart," my dad said, coming into the room. "Could we have a word?"
"Of course," I said. "But won't be late? I mean, what time does our flight leave?"
My dad took a seat on the edge of the bed and looked at me. "It doesn't actually."
I gave him a quizzical look. "What? I'm afraid I don't understand."
"Why don't you have a seat, Hermione?" my dad said, pushing my overflowing suitcase further back onto the bed, thereby clearing a space beside him.
"It's been my experience," I began, still standing beside the bed. "That nothing good ever follows the question, 'Why don't you have a seat, Hermione?' Dad."
Nevertheless, I took a seat beside him.
"Well, I know that you probably won't think this is a good thing when you first hear it, but I hope that in time you'll come to see that this will be for the best," my dad said, looking to my mother for encouragement. She finally came all the way into the room and stood beside my dad with her hand on his shoulder. This all made me feel very uneasy.
"I don't understand," I said, looking back and forth between them. "Can you please just tell me what is going on?"
"Alright," my dad began. "This wasn't an easy decision for us to make, I hope you understand that. We know how much you've enjoyed attending Hogwarts and we've been very proud of the progress you've made."
I nodded solemnly and he continued.
"Over the past couple of years, though, we've become increasingly concerned about your safety when you're at that school."
"What do you mean?" I asked defensively. "Hogwarts is perfectly safe!"
"How can you say that, Hermione?" my dad retorted back at me. "Need I remind you that in your second year, you spent the better part of the year petrified? Then, in your third year, you were attacked by dementia-"
"Dementors, Dad!" I corrected. "Dementors, not dementia."
"Well, regardless, you were attacked. Then, in your fourth year, that boy was killed. Your best friend was nearly killed in the process. Not to mention, the fact that you were nearly killed a couple of months ago yourself," my father said.
"Okay," I said, trying to remain calm. "Those things all happened, but I'm fine. You know that Dumbledore wouldn't let anything intentionally happen to me or anyone else at school."
"I know that," my father said. "But, they can't guarantee your safety, either. With this Voldemort person back, I think it's going to get worse before it will get better. I'm afraid that if we send you back, we would be endangering you, Hermione. That's not a risk I or your mother want to take."
"I know that, Dad," I said. "What are you trying to say, exactly?"
"What I'm trying to say," he said, taking my hand, "is that you will not be returning to that school in September."
"WHAT!!!" I exclaimed, letting go of his hand and standing up from the bed. I looked pleadingly at both of my parents. "You can't be serious!"
"I assure you that we're very serious about this, Hermione," he said firmly. "Your mum and I have talked about this for quite some time now. As I told you before, this wasn't an easy decision to come to. It was very hard."
"Oh, well, I'm so sorry that your decision on my life was so gut-wrenching for you," I retorted sarcastically.
"It was, sweetheart," my mother said, trying to pat my shoulder. I shrugged her off. "We know how much that school means to you."
"Do you?" I argued. "Do you really? Because I think if you really knew how much that school meant to me, the last thing you would ever do is take me out of it. I belong at Hogwarts, Mum."
"Hermione, "my mother began, but I interrupted her.
"How can you ask me to leave now? Just when things are in such a mess? You want me to leave when my friends are going to need me now more than ever? For heavens sake! Harry just lost Sirius! I can't leave!"
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't real. My parents weren't actually going to do this.
"We've talked this over with Dumbledore and he agreed to help us anyway that he could," my dad said.
"You discussed my future with Dumbledore without me present? Surely, he didn't go along with this!"
"Well, he wasn't in favor of you leaving," my mother said. "But, he listened to our concerns and said that if we thought this was best he'd do what he could to help us. He's set us up with a relocation program with your Ministry of Magic. We'll be able to start all over again. You'll be able to go to a regular school taking regular subjects."
I sat there listening to them, tears streaming down my face. Ever since I was a little girl, I'd felt I could count on them. I never doubted in them, not once. Listening to them talk now, they seemed like strangers. I felt like I was watching it all unfold and I was an inactive participant.
"Will I at least be able to say a proper goodbye to Harry and Ron," I said. I couldn't believe those words were coming out of my mouth. I wasn't actually going to go along with this, was I?
My father and mother exchanged another look. "Actually, we won't be going back to London, sweetheart. We've had a moving company pack up our belongings at the house. We've found a house here in the area and were going to take you to look at it today. It's really a nice place. You'll see, it'll be a new start and a new home."
"I don't want a new start! I don't want a new home!" I managed to choke out. "My home is in London. My friends are in London."
"Hermione, I know this is hard on you," my father said. "I didn't expect you to take this well, but I hope you understand that we are doing this because we love you. You are our only daughter. If something happened to you, I don't know what we'd do."
"I know that you love me," I said. "All I ask is that if you love me, you'd want me to be happy. I won't be happy here. You can put me in a new house and make me start a new school, but it will not make me happy!"
My father got up from the bed and started to walk out of the room, followed by my mother. When he reached the door, he turned to me, and I could see tears in his own eyes, as he said, "I love you, Hermione. We both love you so much. All we want is for you to be safe."
They walked out of the room and I was alone on the bed. How had all of this happened? This was the last thing in the world I ever suspected! What would Harry and Ron say when they found out? How would they get through school without me? There's no telling where either of them would be if I hadn't been the one urging them to finish their homework or checking behind them for mistakes.
It wasn't just that, though. They were my best friends. They were the two people who'd taught me that there were more important things than books and cleverness.
I wasn't only worried about how they'd do without me, however. How would I be without them?