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Author's Note: Thanks again to all who have reviewed! I am so glad that you've enjoyed the story. I hope you like this chapter. I apologize for leaving you all with such a huge cliffhanger in the last chapter! Hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me! I know not what I do…
Chapter Twelve
Superman (It's Not Easy)
"It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream but
It's not easy to be me"
-Superman(It's Not Easy) by Five for Fighting
This couldn't be happening. It didn't seem real. Only a few minutes ago, we were dancing under the stars. We were kissing. Everything was calm. Everything was peaceful. Within the space of a few minutes, everything turned to chaos.
I kept waiting to wake up and find that this had all been a bad dream. It was real, though, very real. I didn't care that I'd missed my connection back to Hogwarts. I didn't care that I was probably going to be expelled for doing what I'd done. None of that mattered now. What mattered now was that Hermione was hurt and there was nothing I could do about it.
In one hand, I held the necklace that she'd gone after. In the other, I held her hand. It was cold and limp. She wasn't conscious. Her face was bruised and scratched from the pavement. Her face was pale and her hands were so cold. The emergency medical technician who was tending to her kept saying that her blood pressure was low. I didn't know what this meant, but I knew it couldn't be good.
I felt numb. I could still hear the sound of the car hitting her. I could still see her falling to the ground. I saw myself running to her and cradling her in my arms, screaming for someone to get help. I couldn't help remember how it had only been a few months ago when I thought she'd been killed in the Department of Mysteries. I remembered how she'd been petrified during our second year. She'd come through both of those times. Surely, she would come through now. She had to.
"Do you know her parents?" the EMT asked me.
"Hmmm," I said, not really focusing on what he'd asked me.
"I said do you know her parents?" he asked again. "We can radio ahead and get the hospital to notify them."
"Um, their dentists," I said quietly. "Dr. Robert Granger and Dr. Karen Granger."
He nodded and told the driver to radio ahead to the hospital that the daughter of Robert and Karen Granger was being brought in to the emergency room at the Atlanta Medical Center.
Fresh tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at her and gripped her hand tightly, praying for her to squeeze my hand back. I was praying for her to wake up and look at me with her brown eyes shining and tell me that it was going to be okay. She hadn't done that. She couldn't do that. Never before had I ever felt so helpless.
"She will be okay, won't she?" I asked feebly to the EMT.
He looked at me with an expression mixed with pity and sadness. "I don't know. They'll do everything they can for her in the hospital. It's one of the best in the country. She'll be in good hands."
"How bad is it?" I asked, my eyes pleading with him to tell me the truth.
"We'll know more when we get her to the hospital," he said, avoiding my eyes. "We're nearly there."
I nodded, but knew from the expression on his face that things were not good. They were about as far from good as they could get.
We finally made it to the hospital and the EMT told me to get out first. I quickly made my way out of the ambulance and watched as they unloaded Hermione. A couple of nurses came rushing out and I listened as the EMT spouted out medical jargon that I didn't understand.
"Caucasian female," the EMT said. "Sixteen-years old; hit by a car. BP is 80 palp and steady."
"Got it," the nurse said. "Let's get her to trauma room 2."
I watched as they began to take Hermione into the emergency room. I started to follow, but the nurse stopped me.
"Hey," she said, putting a hand on my arm. "You can't go back there."
"She needs me," I said, taking steps to follow them. "I have to be with her!"
"She needs to be examined by the doctor, now," the nurse said firmly. "You will be of no help to her if you're getting in the way."
"You don't understand," I said, pleading with her. "I have to be with her! She has to be okay."
"They'll do everything they can for her," she said. "I can promise you that."
"Please don't let anything happen to her," I said. "Please."
Begrudgingly, I let the nurse lead me to the waiting area. It was crowded, with people of different shapes, sizes, and walks of lives sitting on the various sofas and chairs. I took an empty seat beside an older woman who was holding onto her arm, which she'd apparently twisted or broken. She kept muttering under her breath about how long she'd been waiting. On the other side of me, a man had fallen asleep in his chair. I could hear him softly snoring. Every once in awhile, he'd get so loud, he'd wake himself up, but just fall right back to sleep.
I'd only been sitting there for a few minutes when I looked up to see Hermione's parents come rushing into the emergency room. They stopped at the reception desk, where the attendant told them something. I watched as their facial expressions went from anxious to shock to sad. My heart sank as their gaze turned to me. The attendant pointed to me and I watched as they tentatively took steps toward me. In all the years that I'd known Hermione, I'd never really spoken much with her parents. Most of our dealings with each other consisted of a quick hello and goodbye at the train station on the way back or from school. Looking at them now, I knew that this conversation would be much more meaningful and long than any conversation that the three of us had ever had.
I hesitantly stood up from my chair and took steps toward them. We stared at each other for a few moments before Mrs. Granger spoke up.
"Hello, Harry," she said, tears had started to stream down her face.
"Hello," I said weakly.
"What happened?" she asked me. Before I could answer her, her dad angrily interjected.
"The better question would be why he was here in the first place," he said crossly.
"I missed Hermione," I said softly. "I wanted to see her."
"Tell us what happened, Harry," her mother said. "I need to know what happened with my baby."
I nodded. "I, um, showed up unexpectedly. She didn't know I was coming. She wanted to show me downtown Atlanta. We went, um, we went out to eat and to the planetarium. We were having a really nice time together and on the way back, we were crossing the street to the bus stop when she dropped her necklace. She went back to get it and this car came out of nowhere and-"
I couldn't continue. The sounds of that awful event kept playing over and over in my head. I could feel the tears touching my face.
"I'm so sorry," I said, not knowing what else to say. "I'm so sorry."
Mrs. Granger sobs became more pronounced. Her father, on the other hand, just looked at me. I couldn't look him in the eye. I knew what he was thinking, because I was thinking it, too. If it hadn't been for me, his daughter wouldn't be in a hospital fighting for her life.
He looked as if he wanted to say something to me, but he didn't. He put a comforting arm around his wife.
"Let's go see if we can find out anything," he said.
Her mother nodded and followed her husband. I could only watch-helpless.
Seconds turned into minutes and the minutes passed into hours as I sat there in that waiting area. People came and went, but I sat there. Her parents hadn't come back and no one came to tell me any news. Every now and then, I'd go up to the receptionist and ask if there was anything they could tell me and each time, they said there was nothing new to report.
I'd already thumbed through most of the magazines which scattered the tables. There was nothing left to do, but wait. I'd never been one for waiting.
"Pardon me, son," an older man asked me, taking a seat beside me. He wore a grey sweatshirt that had "Ask Me About My Grandkids" written across it in purple letters. He wore a pair of brown trousers and a pair of brown loafers. "Do you know what time it is?"
Impatiently, I looked at my watch. "It's just past two in the morning."
"Thank you," he said. I went back to thumbing through another of the magazines, but out of the corner of my eye, I could still feel him watching me. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't let this get to me, but as it was, I was on edge.
"What?!?" I snapped at him.
He looked somewhat affronted, but continued to smile at me.
"I'm sorry," I said, taking my glasses off and rubbing my eyes. I put my glasses back on and continued my apology. "It's just I'm really worried about my---friend----and I haven't heard anything yet. I shouldn't have gotten angry with you. You weren't to know what was going on. I'm sorry."
He chuckled. "It's okay. You're worried about the girl you love. It's only natural to be upset."
I nodded.
"Love makes you do crazy things," he said. "For example, it could even make you sneak out of school to visit her on an unauthorized connection to the Floo network."
I looked up at him as he said these words, flabbergasted at what he'd just said.
"Hang on," I said, staring at him. There was a familiar twinkle in those eyes. "Dumbledore?"
He grinned. "You don't think this is too much, do you? Professor McGonagall said I should blend in and well, here you go."
It was amazing. Gone was the familiar long, white hair and long, white beard. In its place, was a clean-shaven face and short hair. He noticed me looking at him, studying his transformation.
"Don't worry," he said. "It's not permanent. As soon as I return to the castle, I'll be my old self again. I must say, it was a bit of a shock for me, too. I haven't had my hair cut in years."
"How did you know?" I asked. "That I was here?"
"Well, when you didn't make your connection back, Remus came to see me and told me what had happened."
"It wasn't his idea, sir," I said quickly. "I asked him to do me a favor."
"It's alright, Harry," Dumbledore said. "I understand why you did what you did. And I must say it's about time. I had a feeling about you and Miss Granger."
I sunk lower in my chair. "If I hadn't have come, she wouldn't be here."
"It's not your fault what happened to her, Harry," he said to me.
"How can you say that?" I asked angrily. "It is entirely my fault. She would have been home, safe and sound, but no. I had to see her. It's all about me, right? I didn't think about what this could do to her."
"You thought that you wanted to see her," Dumbledore said. "You love her and you missed her, and you wanted to see her. I expect if the situation were reversed, Miss Granger would have done the same thing for you."
"It doesn't matter, now, though, does it? I mean, she's back there, fighting for her life. I have no idea what's going on and I can't help her. I hate this!"
"That's the thing about life, Harry. You have no control over what will happen. You can make your own decisions and your own choices, mind you, but you never know what kind of hand you'll be dealt. There was no way that you could have known that this would happen," Dumbledore said.
"That's just an excuse; an excuse that is getting pretty old, don't you think?" I asked, standing up from my chair and pacing back and forth in the waiting room. "Is that what I'm supposed to tell her parents? Her dad looked like he could have killed me on the spot when he came here and found me waiting. I guess I should have told him, 'Sorry, Dr. Granger, I didn't know this would happen.'" I said, running my fingers through my hair. "They wouldn't buy that anymore than I do."
"Her parents are worried about their daughter," he said.
"And for good reason, right? I mean, they were right to send their daughter away from me. Look at my track record. Everyone I've ever loved has died. My parents, Sirius…it's only a matter of time before Hermione joins that list."
"You don't believe that, Harry," he said. "You are tired and worried and mixed up and you have no idea what you're saying. You didn't kill your parents and you didn't kill Sirius. Voldemort did."
"Well, Voldemort didn't do this to Hermione, I did," I said, feeling the tears stinging my cheeks again.
"You're feeling sorry for yourself and beating yourself up over something that you didn't do, Harry," he said seriously. "This type of behavior isn't going to help your Hermione at all. She needs you to be strong, Harry. She needs you to believe in yourself just as she believes in you."
"How do you know this?" I asked, somewhat begrudgingly. I knew he was right, but I still felt guilty. No matter what he said, I would always blame myself for what had happened.
"Well," he said, the twinkle returning to his eye. "I've been around students for ages. You can pick up on things as you get to know people. You can sense how they feel about certain things and about certain people, even if they don't always come right out and say it."
I didn't know what to say. He picked up on this.
"You won't be punished for what happened," he said. "We're going to keep the knowledge of what happened between the three of us---you, Lupin and me."
Although it was the furthest thing from my mind, I was still surprised to hear this.
"Thank you, sir," I said.
"We should probably head back to the castle," he said, getting up from his chair. I didn't stand up.
"I can't leave, sir," I said. "Not until I know what's happening."
I expected him to fight me on this, to possibly order me to return; to give me a thousand reasons why I should go back with him. To my surprise, he nodded and said, "I expected nothing less of you."
"Thanks," I said, softly.
"I'll have Lupin come shortly to make sure everything is okay," he said, before turning on his heel and walking toward the entrance. Before he reached the door, he turned around to me and smiled. "Believe in yourself, Harry. Believe in Hermione."
I don't know when I fell asleep or for how long I slept, but I awoke to the sound of a woman's voice saying my name. I could feel her touching my shoulder. I wearily opened my eyes to find Hermione's mom looking over me.
"Dr. Granger," I said, sitting up in my chair. "How's Hermione?"
"She's just come out of surgery," she said. "They're putting her in a private room. She had some internal bleeding. The doctor managed to stop it, but the next 48 hours are going to be critical. She still hasn't regained consciousness."
"Thank you for telling me," I said.
She let out a half-hearted smile. "You had a right to know."
I just looked at her, grateful that she had let me know. I would have thought that I'd be the last person she'd want to know.
"Hermione cares about you very much, Harry," she said. "I want to apologize for my husband. He's just been very worried about Hermione, Harry. That's the reason he wanted to do this---start a new life. She wasn't happy here. We both knew it. We just didn't want to take the risk of sending her back there. It was a mistake. I only wished we'd admitted it a little sooner. We probably wouldn't be here."
"I love your daughter, Dr. Granger," I said. "I would never do anything to hurt her. She's the most important person in my life."
"I know that, Harry," she said, tears shining in her eyes.
"Can I see her?" I asked hopefully.
"She's not allowed visitors except for her immediate family while she's in intensive care," she said. "I should get back upstairs."
"I understand," I said.
She nodded. "When she wakes up, Harry, you can see her."
"Thank you," I said.
A few moments later, I was surprised to see Lupin walking into the emergency room. He, too, was dressed in Muggle clothes, though his were much more contemporary and stylish than Dumbledore's had been. He wore a three-piece grey suit with a dark blue tie. I wasn't studying Lupin too much, as my eyes fell on the figure accompanying him. It was Ron.
As I walked toward them, I had no idea what I was going to say to Ron or what Ron would say to me. Needless to say, my actions the night before had set off a chain of events that assured that no one of us would ever be the same again.