This chapter is from Harry's point of view.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Harry Potter world.
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It's raining outside. I should be sleeping. I have work tomorrow. I have to meet the new auror trainees. That means I have to sleep. Yes, sleep. Sleep is good. I'm going to sleep....now.
I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking. Thinking about her. I haven't stopped thinking about her since....well, ever. Somehow, she's always been in my mind. I've heard her voice in my head ever since I first met her. She's been the logic, the loyalty, the trust, and the hope. She's been everything in my life. If only I had realised it before it was too late. But of course, I had to be thick about it. I had to be so ignorant and blind to the love that she showed me. She risked her life for me multiple times and on every occasion I was less than appreciative. If only I hadn't been so stupid. If only.
Granted, I thought I had my priorities in check when I was back at school. Save the world, escape the Dursley's, and find a family. I suppose I did complete all of those tasks. I had spent the first portion of my life in the cupboard under the stairs in a house full of hate. I would eventually escape that. Saving the world was, understandably, a much more difficult task. But, I got through it. As for a family, I really had found one in the Weasley's. They were kind and cheerful, and treated me as one of their own. I'll never forget them for that. But sometimes, a person needs more. I wanted a family of my own. I thought I had found one with Ginny. She was what I thought I needed in a time of crisis. A quick snog here, another snog there. She made me feel important. She agreed with everything that I said. I thought that was what love was. Looking back, I can't believe how wrong I was.
All throughout the war, all I had hoped for was to beat Voldemort and get back to Ginny. I couldn't even see that the one who I truly loved had been there all along. She was there for me the moment I met her, and she was there during the war. Even after I had told her not to come with me, she was there. But I didn't see it. I was too blinded by my infatuation with Ginny. Even after the war, when I got back together with Ginny, she was there. I had never even thought of how the relationship would affect her. With Ron, I understood. Ginny was his sister, and I knew how protective of her he was. But he accepted our relationship. However, not once did I consider how my relationship with Ginny would affect her. I just assumed that since she and Ginny were friendly towards each other, everything would be okay. It would be a marriage and three children later before it would actually hit me. The sacrifices that she would have to make. It would no longer be her job to comfort me, to hug me, to solve problems with me. No. It would be Ginny's job. I would be Ginny's Harry. I wouldn't be her Harry anymore. Her Harry. Hermione's Harry.
I wonder if she remembers. I wonder if she remembers when I was her Harry. A part of me hopes she doesn't, just in case it would be too painful for her. But, a part of me, a part that I've hidden away for so many years, hopes that she remembers. That part of me hopes she lingers on thoughts of bone-crushing hugs and kisses on the cheek. Heaven knows I do. When I think about those times, it's like I'm her Harry again. I feel her love and her warmth, and everything is right. But then I come out of my reverie, and I remember, I'm on my own.
"Harry? Are you still awake?," Ginny asks. I sigh inwardly and close my eyes. I feel her looking at me and then turn over. She drifts back to sleep, but I don't.
No. I'm only on my own.