Chapter 14
There they were again, in the library. It was just after dinner the Monday after the ball and Harry felt as if he might explode. It wasn't the fact that she was completely ignoring him that was bothering him, oh no. It was that he was giving himself a splitting headache thinking of a way to win her over… again. Sure, he told himself that he had lost at the ball, but after actually thinking about it without the hormones controlling his every coherent thought, he decided one thing. He was in love with Hermione and he was going to make sure that she knew about it!
He had thought of about every way to win a girl over in the book; flowers, chocolate, rose petals leading her to the bedroom. None of which seemed realistic in the least (cliché wasn't a word he was too keen on at the moment) and he didn't want her laughing in his face. All of the Muggle romance movies he had seen weren't much of a help, either. God, there had to be a plan somewhere.
The script he was supposed to be writing wasn't really his script, it was full of ideas that he ended up scribbling out fiercely with his quill. It's not like she noticed, anyway, she seemed too caught up in her book to take notice to his self-inflicting torture. Lucky; that she could let what had passed between them that night go so easily. But there was still a tiny part of him that knew that she was looming over it as often as he was. Still, the realism of that fact wasn't being helped by her stuffing her nose in her book.
Frustrated, he wadded up his piece of parchment into a paper ball and tossed it into the trash bin a few feet away from him, joining the dozen others gathered on the floor. Hermione flinched at the movement from beside her but refused to remove her eyes from where she was scanning the page. Feigning nonchalant, she turned a page and continued reading. He fought back the urge to scream. What would it take for her to get it?! God, if he didn't know better, he'd just kiss her again and-
That was it.
It was so simple. Why didn't he think of it before? Well, that was probably the problem, he over thought it. Now all he needed to do was do it. Come on, Potter, you did it fine before. He thought. Nodding to himself, he set down his quill that he had been twirling absently on the table and straightened in his seat, his left arm resting on the table. He just stared at her; surely she would pick up her head sooner or later? So he waited…
Her back tensed and she dared a glance up into his eyes, finally giving into the powerful urge. She felt her face turn pink to see him staring at her with that much intensity. Licking her lips, she tried to ignore him by drawing her attention back down to her book. But before she could even tilt her head a fraction of a degree, he caught her face with his palm. His lips crashed down on hers and she froze stiff. He was sucking her into his arms again; something that she had been trying to prevent. With all of the courage she could muster, she detached her lips from his and quickly began to gather her things to leave.
"Hermione, please…"
"I stand by what I said before, Harry… I just can't." She placed her book bag on her shoulder and stood when he came up in front of her.
"Says who… Weasley?" he asked with slight disgust.
Shaking her head she replied with a simple "No." and brushed past him. She began to fast-walk out of the library and he followed, leaving his stuff behind, for this was more important. She felt him following her and she quickened her pace. Finally, when she heard him breathing behind her, she muttered a feather-light charm on her bag and broke out into a run. Cursing, Harry sprinted after her.
She led him up flights of stairs and curving corridors, finally running up and down an all-too-familiar one. A door appeared exactly on the third passing and she quickly ran into it, slamming it behind her. Harry reached her just as the door shut and he jiggled the handle to find it locked. The door was starting to disappear into the wall when he felt an overwhelming power spread within him like liquid. He didn't quite know what was happening, but his mind told him to continue to struggle with the door. A burst of strength flooded into his senses like wildfire and he tugged at the door one final time, breaking it off of its hinge and throwing it to the wall.
Harry pushed the mixed emotions out of his thoughts and concentrated on the place where Hermione was standing in the middle of the room staring openly at him, mouth agape. He walked toward her slowly as the door magically sealed itself. She slowly backed up a few steps, but he quickly grabbed hold of her forearm and pulled her close to him.
"Tell me- look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't feel anything." He said in a strained voice. She could tell that he was close to tears, though she couldn't decide if it was because he had just used an incredible amount of magic or if he really was getting emotional about this. Hermione decided to put up her wall again.
"Feel what?" she asked.
"Stop playing games with me, Hermione! You know damn well what!"
The tone of his voice scared her, but she knew that he wasn't going to hurt her. She was scared because the crack in her wall just began to reform. She couldn't resist much longer. She turned her head away from him, choosing not to respond.
"Say it."
Silence.
He pulled her skin-tight to him and forced her to look him in the eyes. She had tears swimming in her pools not unlike the ones he saw that night. He was finally getting to her! It wouldn't take much to break her now.
"Hermione I lo-"
"Don't say it, Harry… please don't." she begged, a lone tear falling down her check.
He flexed his jaw and looked her in the eyes, "I love you."
Her tears begun to come in pairs down her cheeks and she let a sob wrack her chest. Harry hated to see her cry, but he would have to bear it. She leaned her head into his chest and cried. He put his arms around her trembling body and rubbed her back affectionately. They stayed like that for a few moments, until Harry felt Hermione's head lift to look at him. He hadn't realized that he had been crying, too, until her hand came up to his cheek and wiped the tears. He smiled in thanks to her and she blushed, looking down. He tilted her face up with the palm of his hand and moved his thumb in tiny circles on the smooth skin of her cheek. Two hearts started beating in rhythm at the realization of the position they were in.
Hermione leaned her head into his touch and Harry lowered his so their noses were touching. They both leaned into each other and their lips met in a flurry of emotions. His arms wrapped around her waist and hers wrapped around his neck. His tongue tested the entrance of her mouth tenderly and she let him in with no thought. It was pure adrenaline from that moment on. His lips were hard against hers, bruising them. She didn't mind, relishing in the fact that she had no intention of stopping him this time.
He pushed them unintentionally into a soft mattress which he hadn't realized was there before. The back of her knees came in contact with the soft cotton sheets and she collapsed into it, taking the two of them into its fluffy folds. They backed up so that Hermione's head was flush with the pillows situated near the short headboard. His lips detached from hers and made their way to her neck, sucking at her pressure point. She moaned with pleasure and grinded her body with his and he let out his own sound of appreciation. His hands came up to her clothed upper body and ripped the button-up shirt, sending the fastenings flying every which way. His mouth left her neck and buried itself to the swell of her breasts, sucking and nibbling in all the right places.
Hermione lifted his head to come flush with hers and he removed his own shirt. She let her hands move freely down his chest and he smiled down at her. She continued to trace her small hands down his Quidditch-toned muscles until he reached gently for them and put them above her head. She shivered as his hands came softly to her back and removed her lilac bra, letting herself free. She shied away when he stared down at them, squirming under his gaze. Her shyness soon gave way to a moan of bliss as his mouth came down on her erect nipple and sucked. Her hands went into his silky locks as she edged him on, grinding her body once more into his and meeting his hips with hers.
After equal attention to the other breast, Harry returned to the surface and kissed her sweetly. Her hands went to his trousers and began to stroke him through the thick material. He moaned into her mouth and she smirked. Her hand stopped her teasing and traced upward to his zipper. He helped her shake off his pants and boxers and she stopped herself from staring at him in all of his naked glory. His hands nimbly removed the rest of her clothing so that they were skin-on-skin. Hermione opened her legs to him and he buried himself into her warmth. He started off slowly, kissing her with his tender lips but soon got lost in the moment.
Her hips moved with his as he moved within her. Her walls were tightening around his with every strong thrust. Her hands moved to his strong shoulders as he plunged one final time into her depths. She saw stars cloud her vision as liquid hot release washed over her and she screamed his name into the walls, muffling his cries of her name tenfold.
He collapsed on in a lump atop her and rolled off before he crushed her. They turned to face the other and smiled. Harry reached for her hand and pulled her close to him, his other beginning to play with her hair. She closed her eyes contently and relished in his touch. He watched her rest soundly for a few minutes before removing his hand from her hair and placing it at her waist. She turned around tiredly and let him spoon her from behind, his last coherent thought being of her smooth skin before he drifted off and joined Hermione in the land of dreams.
~*~
He didn't know what time it was, nor did he care. He would skip an entire lifetime of classes to stay in this moment. Of all the things he expected to happen, this was surely one at the bottom. He expected to kiss her, yes- maybe even snog- but not… well… shag her. But, God was it a good shag! But he really couldn't even call it that; the two of them had made love that night. She looked so beautiful sleeping, even if her hair was all in his face. It smelled like oranges.
But one thing was still potent in his mind. She wasn't a virgin. Not that he thought about her virginity… he surely wasn't one, so why should he be curious about her? Hermione seemed like the type of person who has to be in love to let them do that to her-he smirked-but she wasn't in love with Weasley, and she didn't have many long-term boyfriends. Maybe she was a gymnast- Nah. Then who was it?
She began to stir and he was shaken from his thoughts. She leaned into his touch and turned around to face him with a tired smile on her face. "Good morning, sunshine." He whispered softly.
"Mmm." She responded, "can we just lay here all day?"
"Believe me, I want to, too." he said with a smirk.
"Then why don't we?"
"I have no idea."
"Then we'll stay."
"Alright"
They laughed and fell into a comfortable silence. Harry began to trace his fingertips up and down Hermione's arm when he blurted, "So you're not a virgin?"
He regretted it as soon as he said it, for her face turned deadly pale and her face went downturned into the pillow. She was trying to hide the horror on her face. She knew in the back of her mind that he would notice and would most likely ask… but she thought that he was in as much bliss as she was and wouldn't bother to ask silly questions like that. After a few moments of her face buried in the pillow, she faked a small smile and said, "What, and you aren't?"
"Well… no, but-"
She interrupted, "Well then it's not that big of a deal, is it?"
She hoped that that would shut him up in his curiosity. He had different plans, "I think it is, if your first initial reaction to it was burying your face into the pillow."
She bit her lip and avoided his eyes again. He hated seeing her in emotional strain, especially if he didn't know how to fix it. Tilting her face to look at him with his fingers, he offered a small smile. "Hermione, I love you" -Her eyes widened, still in shock of how it rolled off his tongue- "And anything that's causing you pain… it's buried in the past is best left forgotten."
"But what if I can't forget it?" She whispered, tears forming in her eyes.
"Hermione, everyone's first time is memorable, I know, but-"
"It's more than that, Harry… much more than that." Her heart lifted a bit when she said that, as if beginning to tell her deepest, well-hidden secret wasn't such a bad idea.
"Well then if it's bothering you this much, I want to know what it is so that I can help."
She shook her head sadly, "No one can help, it's been done, and it's been over with for years." Her heart sunk back down.
Harry's brow furrowed, he could tell this was more than her virginity they were talking about. Concealed beneath her words was something dark, something that he could tell was a topic that she didn't want to bring up. But if it was causing her this much pain, then he needed to help her, even if she didn't think she needed it. "Hermione, please… let me in."
Hermione stiffened. Those words… her dream… it was all connecting now. If she didn't tell someone soon, she might crack, especially with an overly-hormonal Ron on her tail that she needed to desperately to get rid of. Besides, if she told him now, Ron wouldn't have anything on her anymore and she could be free! Taking a deep breath, she straightened herself and rested against the headboard. Harry faced her, leaning on his elbow, eagerly anticipating her words.
"A few years ago, Ron, Ginny, and I snuck out to Hogsmeade to celebrate Ron making the Gryffindor Quidditch team. I resisted at first, of course, but back then I had a huge crush on Ron and couldn't resist when he asked me to join them. Mind you, he wasn't always the big pompous ass he now." -Harry chuckled- "So we took one of the secret passageways Ron's older brothers told us about into Hogsmeade and snuck into The Three Broomsticks. We started off drinking butterbeer, but then we moved onto firewhisky and… well, got hammered. The next thing I remember is waking up nude next to Ron and feeling really sore in-between my legs."
"Alright, so you two slept together after being drunk, that's not anything to be ashamed about." Harry supplied.
"I- I wasn't finished." Harry motioned for her to continue and she did in a monotone, "A few weeks later I got horribly sick, and went to the hospital, asking for a Pepper-Up Potion. Madame Pomfrey asked to examine me, after I came back later because the potion wasn't working. She… she told me that I was…" Harry put a comforting hand on her shoulder and she felt warmth spread throughout her, edging her on to let out the death wish… the anvil that could change his outlook on her forever. "Pregnant."
Harry's eyes widened and his hand put more pressure on her shoulder. He didn't say a word, just looked sadly at her. This gave her the opportunity to continue with the drive she had now, not daring to look him in the eyes. "I told Ron almost immediately and he… he was so upset. He said we were too young and that he didn't want a little brat ruining his building reputation. So he took me to St. Mungos through the floo in Madame Pomfrey's office and made me terminate the pregnancy." By now, there were tears running down her face, "Not that I was planning to keep the baby, I wanted to at least give it up for adoption. I argued so much with him, but he wouldn't back off."
Hermione looked over at where Harry was and saw him clenching his jaw. Oh god, he hates me! He thinks I'm a whore! Ohgodohgodohgod. "I- I know that it puts me in a horrible light; `Hermione Granger: The Heartless Whore'. But… you can't imagine the pain I had after the procedure was finished. I didn't feel as if I wasn't pregnant anymore; I was the mother of a dead baby, and I was horrified that-"
Harry put a finger on her lips and leaned in to softly kiss her. Hermione looked at him oddly as he smiled softly at her. "I don't think you're a heartless whore, Hermione. The only one to blame her is Weasley and we both know it. You are the most caring, beautiful, selfless person I know, and anyone would be a true bastard to want to harm you." He looked at her and saw a small smile begin to form through her tears. Suddenly, it hit him. "This is the blackmail, isn't it? This is the reason you're still tolerating him…"
Hermione's brow furrowed as she stared at him, "How'd you know…?"
"Ginny told me."
A look of comprehension dawned on Hermione's face and she shook her head, somehow she figured that he already knew about it. She yawned and stretched her arms, it was then she looked around the room for a clock, seeing one above the fireplace directly across from them. The foggy tint in her eyes from her tears prevented her from seeing the time, so she got up, taking the bed sheet with her.
"Hey!" Harry called after her, pulling the comforter around his bare waist.
She looked behind her with a giggle, "I'm just checking the time, don't have a cow."
"I don't think I've heard that since primary school." He said, chuckling.
Hermione stuck her tongue out at him and walked over to the mantle. Groaning, she walked back over to the bed and lay back down. "It's five in the morning." Harry emitted a noise similar to hers and rolled over to lie on his stomach. "I'm going to go back to sleep." She stated before turning her back to Harry and letting her body relax; he was already asleep.
~*~
He woke up in a dead sweat, the disturbing images from his night terror still in his line of vision. He blinked a few times and focused on the lone candle lit on the mantle. He picked up his glasses absentmindedly from the bedside table and pushed them up the bridge of his nose, squinting to see that it was already seven-thirty. He looked over to where Hermione was sleeping, her body facing him. He smiled down at her, resisting the urge to touch her soft hair. That dream told him one thing and one thing only: He was going to murder Ron Weasley.
Moving so that he barely moved the mattress, he grabbed his robes from the pile on the floor and quickly got dressed. His groggy state of mind was now nonexistent as he snuck out of the room, casting one last glance at her sleepy body before he quietly shut the door.
He reached the Great Hall out-of-breath, leaning on the wall by the entranceway to regain his breathing. He loosened his tie and collar around his neck and inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes for a moment. It was a bad idea, for another image of his dream flashed before his eyelids. Or perhaps it was a good idea, because his posture straightened and his fists clenched. He was fuming, more so then he though he needed to be to kick Weasley's ass.
He didn't let his true emotions get a hold of him this morning, when Hermione told her this new bit of information. If he did, there would be a dozen pillows without their feathers. The only thing holding him back was Hermione's tear-stained eyes; he didn't want to scare her and make her even more upset then she already was. He didn't think anyone but Draco had ever seen him lose control in that way, and he planned to keep it that way. Hermione was fast asleep in the room, she would never see him.
Taking one last inhale of breath, he turned around and walked into the Great Hall. He saw Draco wave over at him as soon as he entered with a "Where the hell have you been?!" look. He chose to ignore him for the moment and made his way over to the Gryffindor table. His choice of direction didn't go unnoticed by the fellow students eating in the hall. It got quieter as whispers started to fill his eardrums, each getting more frantic as he approached the red tuff of hair. The git didn't even seem to notice with his face stuffed full of what looked like eggs dipped in ketchup. Gross.
It was when he was only a foot away from him that one of his friends tapped his shoulder with a wide-eyed expression; he turned around and immediately scowled. Getting up from his seat, he stood, standing a fair inch or two over Harry. Harry wouldn't deny that he was a bit intimidated by the bulky Gryffindor; but he had enough confidence in himself that he quickly diminished the thought.
"What are you doing over at our neck of the woods, Potter?" He asked, puffing out his chest.
Harry thought he'd be blunt, "I'm here to personally kick your ass."
Ron started to chuckle, crossing his arms around his chest, "That's about as funny as a screen door in a battleship."
It was Harry's turn to laugh, along with a few accompanying snickers from the listening crowd, "It's a screen door in a submarine, you moron."
Ron looked to be in thought for a second, before composing his face and raising his eyebrows, "I knew that."
"Sure you did, big boy." Harry said teasingly, "Now if you don't mind, I came here on a mission, and I plan to complete it before breakfast is finished."
Ron un-crossed his arms from his chest and opened them up as an invitation, "Go ahead and do it, I dare you."
There was no hesitation when Harry took the first punch at his stomach. Ron's breath caught in his throat and stumbled backwards. Harry raised his eyebrows at the shocked red-head and stepped forward to punch him again in his cheek, narrowly missing his nose. This is just too easy, Harry thought to himself. It was when he finished the statement that he felt a blow to his shoulder, and he groaned in pain. Both guys looked at each other for not even a second before grabbing a hold of each other and wrestling onto the ground.
Ron straddles Harry, taking open punches as his eyes and nose. Harry could feel the blood ooze out from his open mouth and nostrils. It was obvious that Ron was a tough competitor, and Harry was starting to regret picking this fight with him. When Ron landed a rather painful blow to his jaw he leaned down and smirked.
"You know it's such a pity that Hermione chose me over you; you're missing out an animal in the sack."
Harry's anger burst forth from his chest and he pushed Ron off of him with one strong shove. He was atop him without a second to spare and he started wailing on every bare piece of flesh he could reach, tears forming in his eyes. Ron's struggles began to get stronger and Harry took his collar and knocked his head against the stone floor, knocking him out cold. His nostrils were flaring with ragged breathes, his eyes staring daggers at Ron's bloody and unconscious head.
"HARRY!"
His blood turned from hot to cold within a millisecond when he heard her voice scream out from not even a foot behind him. His hand was still grasping Ron's collar and he immediately dropped it, landing his head back on the floor. Harry turned around and tried hard to think what to say. "We were just… umm… talking."
Hermione placed her hands on her waist and raised an angry brow at him, "Well isn't that the understatement of the century! You're just lucky the teachers are at an emergency staff meeting or else we'd all get expelled!"
He hadn't thought about that. Well, he did count himself lucky, then, for both him and Hermione. He knew how much she loved and adored this place… almost as much as he did. Harry just looked down at the floor, suddenly ashamed for what he had done. He got up limply from Ron's comatose body and looked around him at the penetrating glares from the student body. Prefects were shielding first years in a corner, a few fourth years looked as though they were exchanging galleons, and Draco looked as if he might punch a baby.
When Harry turned back to face Hermione, it seemed she just noticed his battle scars. "Oh my God, are you alright, Harry?" She came up to touch his bruising check and he flinched at the contact.
"I'm fine, really." Hermione gave him a stern look, "Well… compared to him." Harry cast a glance back at Ron's body and smirked to himself.
"Merlin, what did you do to him?" She looked pityingly down at his body.
"Conked his head against the floor, knocked him unconscious" He explained breezily. He saw the anger start to accumulate on her face as she turned back to look at him. He put up his hands in protest, "Don't tell me he didn't deserve it."
She smiled briefly, "Harry we really need to get the two of you back to the hospital. Ginny, would you help me, please?"
Ginny suddenly popped up beside Harry and grabbed Ron's underarms, Harry picking up the feet. "Alright you lot, move!" Ginny screamed at the crowd. They started to part and form a small opening to the exit.
Harry looked at the ground beneath him briefly as Hermione cleared more path. He then looked at Ginny to see her already staring at him. "Sorry for beating up your brother, Gin."
She smiled at him softly, "S'alright, Harry. As you said before, he deserved it."
A thought just struck Harry as they neared the door by only a few feet, "Say, why didn't you ever tell your parents about this?"
She smirked "Let's just say… I knew Ron would get the punishment her deserved from the person who deserved to serve it to him in time."
Harry chuckled as they entered the clear hallway and started their way to the Hospital Wing.
Meanwhile, back inside the Great Hall, there was one person who wasn't joining in the chatter and gossip that was beginning to form about the brawl. He knew exactly why it had happened and he wasn't particularly thrilled about it. There was one thing he was certain about: He was going to put an end to these foolish events once and for all… and he knew exactly how he was going to do it.
~*~
A/N: I hope I got this first chapter of the new year right :] This chapter hopefully should satisfy you hungry readers, hehe. Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, please keep it up!
Love, Shar
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