Disclaimer: All things pertaining to Harry Potter are the property of J. K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Books/Scholastic Press and Warner Bros. I just like to play with them!
A/N: Hello again! Thanks to everyone for your lovely reviews - I'm glad you liked the first chapter and as you can see I've been inspired to post a second chapter. Some have mentioned that Harry is rather OOC, but I would disagree. I've always thought of Harry as being the type of person who is very emotionally-driven and as such is often reckless, acting without thinking about the consequences. Anyways, if you like it review, if you don't...review?
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good...
***
Real love hurts, real love makes you totally vulnerable and open, real love will take you far beyond yourself, therefore real love will devastate you. If love does not shatter you, you do not know love.
Anon
Hermione stared at her reflection in the mirror and sighed. All of her emotions were clearly visible on her pale face...sadness, confusion, guilt, fear, loneliness. She couldn't hide any of it. And it was the result of her admittance to Harry that afternoon and his response.
I'm in love with her husband for Merlin's sake...
I love you Hermione, and I don't want to lose you...
She had had a lucky escape when Bill had appeared and stopped to talk to his brother-in-law and she could leave without Harry trying to stop her.
Carefully she began applying her make-up. It was amazing what a difference it all made, bringing her face to life, making her brown eyes gleam and her skin glow. None of it was real though. None of it improved her mood.
A brisk knock on her door caused her to jump, shoot a distracted glance at the clock and pull her dressing gown more tightly around her.
He was early.
Rushing to the door she opened it with a reproach.
`You're early! Why are you early? I haven't even started my hair yet...'
`So I see.'
The colour drained from Hermione's face as she realised that her date had not arrived early. Instead Harry was standing on her doorstep looking sexily dishevelled and more than a little agitated. Without another word he stepped past her into the apartment.
`Harry, what are you doing here?' she asked, closing the door behind him.
`What do you think? You ran out on me twice today, once when we were in the middle of something. You're not running out on me a third time.' Turning to face her he tried to get closer to her, but Hermione quickly slipped away, running into her bedroom and slamming the door shut before locking it.
`Why don't you just go home to your wife?' she asked unhappily as she began to pace the room.
Shaking his head Harry tried the door and finding it locked, he snapped, `You know, don't you? You know that she might be pregnant. That's what this is all about. You think you're doing what's right for the baby! Well what about what's right for you and me, huh? What about that?'
A small gasp escaped from Hermione's lips as she dropped onto the bed, her legs suddenly becoming useless. So he knew. Now what?
`Hermione, please, listen to me. We don't even know if she's really pregnant yet. It might just be a false alarm. And even if Ginny is pregnant…then we'll handle it…together…you and me.'
His voice was quieter now but more intent as he leaned against the closed door, resting his head against the wood.
`No, Harry. You and Ginny, not you and me,' Hermione replied, struggling not to cry.
`If she's pregnant then I'll look after her and the baby but I'm going to be with you!'
Harry's voice was getting more and more emotional with every word but unlike Hermione, he did not even try to stop his tears from falling.
For several minutes there was no response from the other side of the door until without warning it opened and Hermione reappeared dressed in a black strappy dress, matching shoes and diamonds glittering in her ears. Allowing herself to get close to him she whispered gently, `No, Harry. You'll do the right thing. For them.'
Taking hold of her hand, Harry was about to speak when a knock on her door interrupted him.
`Who's that?' he asked, noticing for the first time how dressed up she was.
`My date.'
***
Love is affirmation. Jealousy, possessiveness are doubt. Jealousy and possessiveness have nothing to do with love. Every act of love should be a cause for joy in every person who is aware of it.
Das Energi by Paul Williams
Slipping past Harry, Hermione smoothed down her dress and opened the door, squeezing out and pulling it shut behind her before her date could get a glimpse of Harry inside, or he could see who it was that she was going out with.
`Granger, you look fantastic.' Hermione smiled happily at the compliment as Draco Malfoy looked her up and down.
After the war, Draco had earned his pardon by helping the Ministry round up the remaining Death Eaters. He now worked with her at the Department of Mysteries (hence his referral to her by her last name) and had helped her move into her apartment a few weeks earlier. When she'd returned to work following her disastrous lunch break and he'd stopped by her office and asked her out, she'd accepted - anything to get her mind off Harry.
`You don't look so bad yourself, Malfoy.' She replied stepping back to admire how nice he looked in his suit. `Ready to go?'
Draco grinned. `A beautiful lady who's ready when you pick her up? You are too good to be true. But what's the hurry? We got plenty of time. Why don't we go into your flat and talk for a little while? Have a drink.'
Before Hermione could argue with him, Draco was leading her back into her flat and making his way towards her kitchen to pour them both a drink. And Harry was nowhere in sight.
Hurrying into her bedroom on the pretence of getting her bag, she went in search of Harry. Startling her, he crept up from behind and placing a hand over her mouth he whispered close to her ear.
`Relax. It's me. And since when are you dating Draco Malfoy?'
Twisting round to face him, Hermione glared at him and hissed back angrily, `Since when do I have to explain myself to you? It's not like I'm married you know. I can see whomever I want.'
Seeing Harry wince at her words, Hermione immediately wished she could take them back. Quickly she grabbed her bag from her bed and walked back out of the room.
`Hey, there you are! I made us both a drink.'
Walking towards her, Draco held a glass in each hand, one of which he handed to her. Smiling nervously, Hermione accepted the drink and knocked it back in one go.
`Whoa…slow down, girl. Take it easy. Did that even touch the sides?' Draco asked in amazement as she handed him back her empty glass, casting a nervous glance towards the bedroom door.
`What can I say? I'm in the mood for fun. I want to go out, get crazy, paint the town red. And I want to go now.' Resting one hand on his chest, Hermione pouted childishly and gave Draco her most flirtatious look. Anything to get him out of her flat.
And Draco did not need telling twice.
`Why didn't you say so? Can I just use your bathroom? I'll be back in two seconds.'
Nodding, Hermione pointed him in the right direction, `Sure. It's right over there.'
She darted back into her bedroom. Harry was waiting for her by the door.
`You have to leave before he sees you!'
Taking hold of his jacket sleeve, Hermione began pulling him through her apartment to the door but Harry easily resisted her and whispered back.
`There's no way in hell I'm leaving you alone with him! Have you forgotten everything that he's done and how he used to treat you back at school?'
Rolling her eyes, Hermione increased her efforts and succeeded in moving Harry several feet closer to the door.
`Harry, he's changed - he's not the same boy we knew at Hogwarts. And he's my friend. Don't make trouble, please!' she implored desperately but he wasn't in the mood to listen.
`You're the one who's making trouble if you go out with him. You can't trust him. You may think he's changed but he's still got a reputation. He's renowned for leaving broken hearts in his wake. And now he's after you!'
Snapping, she replied with barely controlled anger, `Who I see, where I go and what I do is
none of your concern, Harry! If I want to go out with Draco, I will! And I can sleep with him too if I want to! You know why? Because we are both single, consenting adults. And it's nobody's business but our own.'
Finally reaching the door, Hermione yanked it open and shoved Harry out into the hallway, slamming it shut behind him.
She had not meant a single word she had said.
But Harry didn't know that.
***
And I'll be there forever and a day, always. I'll be there till the stars don't shine, till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme. And I know when I die; you'll be on my mind. And I'll love you, always.
`Always' by Bon Jovi
Arriving back at Grimmauld Place, Harry paused in front of the back door. He was a wreck. And if Ginny saw him, she would know immediately that something was wrong and would want to know what it was. And in the mood he was in, he might just tell her. He might just explain to her that he was upset because he had had a fight with his best friend, who was also his lover, and he was jealous because Hermione was going out on a date with another guy. He might just tell her that he wasn't in love with her anymore, he wasn't sure that he had ever been in love with her. He was in love with Hermione. She was all he thought about, all he wanted, all he needed. He might just ask her for a divorce.
He had waited outside Hermione's building, waited until she had come out fifteen minutes later with Malfoy.
No. That was wrong. She wasn't with Malfoy. She was with him.
He had watched as Malfoy held his coat over both their heads to shelter them from the rain as they ran to the Apparition point. Hermione had laughed at something he said and squealed, as her feet got wet in her flimsy sandals.
Harry had seriously contemplated following them to the restaurant or wherever it was that Malfoy was taking her, but then he'd stopped and realised what he was doing.
And he had Apparated home instead.
Home. He no longer felt that this was his home. Sure it was filled with his stuff - his Invisibility Cloak, the Marauders Map, the photograph album Hagrid has given him in his first year of Hogwarts. But it was also the place where his wife lived. It was the place where he had to pretend the most, pretend to be someone else and not feel the way he felt. It was becoming his prison more and more each day.
But what if Ginny was pregnant? Would a baby make it less of a prison or more? And not just any baby, his baby. Could he abandon his own child?
He had told Hermione that it didn't change anything. He would still leave Ginny for her. But deep in his heart he knew the truth. Ginny would fight him for everything including sole custody of the child. She would be determined to hurt him the way he had hurt her. She would be out for revenge, out for blood, and she would get it.
And Hermione would feel guilty. So would he.
And it would destroy them, slowly at first, but it would eventually tear them apart. Because despite what they were doing, they were good, honest people.
The sooner they found out if Ginny was really pregnant, the better for them all. At least then they could begin to plan, try to look to the future.
At least then he would know what his future could hold.
He didn't think he could stand it though, living the rest of his days with Ginny, only seeing Hermione occasionally, at parties and the like. Watching as she got on with her life, dated other guys, got married, and had children of her own. Maybe with Malfoy. Maybe they were getting closer now, back at Malfoy's apartment, undressing each other, making love...
No!
Just the thought of it sent chills down his spine, made his palms sweat and his throat go dry. He felt his heart beat faster and faster and his head begin to pound.
Hermione and Malfoy.
Malfoy and Hermione.
That wasn't how it was supposed to be. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, `She's supposed to be with me!' But he couldn't. All he could do was try to sort himself out and go inside and act as if everything was normal. He had to try to ignore the images that refused to leave his head and the feeling that he was going to explode any second. And most of all he had to hope against hope that Ginny wasn't pregnant with his child.
***
I love him, but everyday I'm learning. All my life, I've only been pretending. Without me, his world would go on turning. A world that's full of happiness, that I have never known.
`On My Own' from Les Miserables
The first thing that registered in Hermione's mind when she woke up was the sledgehammer pounding away inside her head unrelentingly, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she had drunk way too much the night before. Laying perfectly still she tried to figure out what to do next. She had only gotten drunk a few times in her life and the fact that she couldn't remember anything about anything after she and Draco had left the restaurant made her feel even more panicky. Had she done something she shouldn't?
Cautiously she attempted to open her eyes but as soon as the sunlight hit them she let out a startled whimper and shut them tightly again. She desperately needed a drink of water but the idea of sitting upright, never mind making her way to the kitchen, caused her stomach to lurch in protest. No. Staying in bed was definitely a better plan.
Snuggling against her pillow she barely registered the roar of flames from the fireplace in the next room, suggesting someone was trying to contact her by Floo. She was asleep once again by the time her Floo messaging service picked up and the caller left their message.
It was almost an hour later when she woke up again and stumbling to her bathroom collapsed in front of her toilet heaving her guts out until she felt like there was nothing left inside. Slowly she stood up and flushing the toilet wobbled towards her shower to wash away the previous night's…whatever from her body.
By the time she made it to her kitchen, dressed in her favourite silk robe, she was feeling a little more human. The ice-cold water had forced her awake and washed the grime away and she had gotten rid of the thick fuzzy feeling in her mouth by brushing her teeth and gargling with mouthwash. Her throat was still incredibly dry and sore though, and her head was still in agony. But hopefully water and hangover potion would fix that.
Catching sight of the flashing green flames in the fireplace signalling that she had a Floo message, Hermione winced. Harry. It had to be Harry. And she could guess what he had to say. She could clearly see the look of pain in his eyes when she had kicked him out of her flat, when she had snapped those cruel words at him. She hated being the cause of so much pain for herself and others. Still, enough was enough...she had end the affair, once and for all.
Curiosity getting the better of her she pointed her wand at the fireplace to play the message.
`…Um, Hermione, it's me…uh…I just…are you there? Please, if you are, say something. I really need to talk to you…Hermione…I guess you aren't there…I need to see you…sometime…I really think we need to talk about everything…I'm sorry about what I said last night about Malfoy, I know that I don't have any right to act jealous and possessive. I was an idiot. Er, Merlin, I wish I knew where you were…please, Hermione. Please Floo me when you get this message…okay…I need to...'
The message service abruptly cut him off.
Shivering Hermione studied the fireplace for a few minutes almost as if she was waiting for Harry to jump out at her. Just hearing his voice, hearing the confusion and desolation in it made her want to reconsider. He was hurting. She had made him hurt.
Angry mostly with herself, Hermione stomped back into her bedroom only to stop in the doorway as a fresh wave of nausea hit her. Suddenly she felt close to tears and she didn't have a clue how to stop them.
A throaty voice from her bed caused her to gasp out loud.
`Hermione? Come back to bed, babe…'
Her hand flew to her mouth as the memories forced themselves through her conscious. It was all coming back to her now, every minute, every action, every word.
She had slept with Draco.
***
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind.
William Shakespeare
Harry gently pulled back from the fireplace, staring at it the whole time. He had the strongest urge to blast it apart with his wand and he had to force himself not to give in to it. He knew that it wouldn't help matters, probably just make things worse. After all how would he explain the damaged fireplace to Ginny?
He had not slept a wink all night. Various images had cluttered his mind. Him and Hermione at Hogwarts with Ron. Him and Ginny during the early stages of their romance. Him and Hermione during the last few months. His and Ginny's unborn children. Hermione and Draco. He had almost gone to her flat several times during the night, but he knew it was pointless, she wasn't home, but a small part of him longed to see her and for her to tell him that she had walked out on Malfoy…because of him. He wanted her to ask him to leave Ginny, to give him an ultimatum. He wanted desperately for her to make him choose.
He had thought it over carefully during the early hours of the morning and had finally figured out the perfect time to Floo her, not so early so as to wake her, but early enough to catch her before she went out. And he had followed through with his plan. He had even practised various conversations in his head, his words and hers, every possible twist that he could think of. But it had never occurred to him that she wouldn't be there. Her Floo messaging service picking up had been the last thing he had expected. And as much as he tried not to think about what it could mean, he couldn't help himself. Once again his imagination and his jealousy took over, leaving him completely powerless. Once again he found himself fighting the urge to explode.
What if she wasn't answering because she wasn't home? What if she had gone back to Malfoy's place to spend the night...
No!
What if she wasn't answering because Malfoy was in her bed at that very moment making...
No!
Standing up shakily Harry began to nervously pace the length of the room, seeing and hearing nothing as his emotions ran riot. She wouldn't…she couldn't…could she? No…it wasn't possible…she had been upset but still…she had never been the type of girl to sleep with a guy on the first date…it wasn't her style…unless that wasn't their first date.
But then again they'd never had a first date and how many times had they slept together? How long had it taken for them to fall into bed? What if Hermione had been involved with Malfoy all along…no…no…no…
There was a reasonable explanation for her not answering. There had to be. She was asleep, she was in the shower, she was screening her Floos…her Floos from him anyway.
Suddenly the idea of her avoiding him purposely seemed comforting to him. He could deal with Hermione avoiding him. What he couldn't deal with was her seeing someone else, being involved with someone else, sleeping with someone else.
He had to see her right now.
Pulling the door to his study open, he was surprised to find Ginny on the other side of it, her hand on the handle, a look of expectant joy on her face. Smiling happily she threw herself into his arms.
`Harry, oh my God, it's true! It's really true! We're gonna have a baby!'
`W-what?' Numbly Harry held his wife in his arms as a roaring sound filled his head.
She couldn't be saying…he had heard her wrong…he was dreaming…
`This owl just came from St Mungo's with the results of the test. I'm pregnant!'
***
Mischief managed!
I know! I know! Please don't flame for me for the Hermione/Draco twist! For the record, I hate Hermione/Draco fics and trust me when I say this will definitely not be one. This will be a Harry/Hermione fic...just have faith. However, as I mentioned previously, this fic is remodelled from another a wrote about an old TV series and I had to find someone to fill the role Draco plays in this fic and he was the only one I could envisage playing this part. Hope that sets your minds at rest and I look forward to reading your reviews...please be nice!
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