Disclaimer: All things pertaining to Harry Potter are the property of J. K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Books/Scholastic Press and Warner Bros. I just like to play with them!
A/N: Hello one and all! I'm been so amazed by your reviews - I really appreciate all of you who've understood my motives in this story and are continuing to read. I have to say there were times when I wasn't sure I wanted to continue after reading some of the reviews, but this is my story and as long as there's one person out there who reads it and likes it, that's enough for me. Thankfully there's a few more than one! I have to point out (cue sarcastic remark) to the reviewer who accused me of not being a H/Hr shipper and instead being a H/G shipper and a D/Hr shipper...don't you think I'd know what kind of shipper I am and do you think I would have been invited to become a Portkey author if I was either of the latters and not the former? Sorry, I'm done venting now.
Anyways, here's the shocker...this is it! The end! Le fin! I know, it kind of snuck up on me too. When I've read it previously, both in its former version and the version since its been amended for Portkey, it always seemed a lot longer. Some of you will complain...but hey, I think I'm used to it by now...and maybe it should have been longer and I could've explored the characters a bit further, but since this fic was already written, it would take time to pad it out, which I'm afraid is a bit of a commodity for me at the moment. So I'm just gonna leave it as it is...sorry if this disappoints you. I am working on a Draco/Ginny fic at the moment (prologue/first chapter to be posted by the end of this week, fingers crossed!), which I can offer as a compromise if you like D/G.
Anyways, I make my usual plea for reviews, before disappearing with a bottle of Firewhiskey!
I solemnly swear that I am up to no good...
***
When love beckons to you follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
`The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran
Neville paused as he spotted Hermione curled up awkwardly on one of the uncomfortable plastic hospital chairs. She looked so tiny that from a distance she could have easily been mistaken for a child. Taking a deep breath he walked over to her and dropping down into the seat beside her he gently pushed her hair out of her face causing her to start and look at him with frightened, confused eyes, almost as if she didn't recognise him, and then suddenly fling herself at him sobbing quietly. Unsure of what was going on Neville automatically wrapped his arms around her and murmured soothingly, `Hey, it's gonna be okay…you're okay…I'm here…'
Feeling her tremble, Neville winced. He had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that he had been dragged away from his wife, Hannah by a hysterical Floo from his friend at three in the morning muttering something about Ginny, an accident and the hospital. Needless to say he had Apparated over as fast as he could and he was still confused. What had happened to Ginny? Why were she and Hermione together at this time of night? And why was Hermione still wearing the same clothes she had been wearing when he had seen her earlier in the day? What was going on?
`Hermione, what happened?'
It took Hermione several minutes to pull herself together enough to answer the question and even then she seemed to be making little sense.
`G-Ginny…f-fell…she…the stairs…oh God…Harry was chasing her and…and…I heard her fall, Neville, I heard her fall!'
Shaking his head Neville held up a hand to stop her and asked intently, `Where Hermione? Where were the two of you? Why was Harry chasing her?'
Pulling away from her friend, Hermione stood up and turned so that her back was to him, but did not answer the question. Neville waited until it was obvious that she wasn't going to reply and then asked bluntly, `Did she find out, Hermione? Was that why she was at your place, why Harry was chasing her? Did she find out that you two were having an affair?'
Spinning round, Hermione stared at him in shock. `How did you…?' she whispered in confusion.
Neville simply smiled and shaking his head replied, `I know you. And I know Harry. It wasn't that hard to figure out.'
Sitting back down, Hermione leaned her head against his chest and closing her eyes she told him sadly, `I love him, Neville. We tried to end it. We did end it. But tonight when he turned up on my doorstep we just…he needed me. We had no idea that Ginny was there.'
Neville was about to say something when the sight of Harry, filthy and somehow broken, shut him up.
The two friends stood up, groping nervously for each other's hands as they did. Neither made a move towards Harry as he shuffled slowly towards them and neither said a word. Both feared the worst and their fears were confirmed when Harry spoke.
`Ginny had a miscarriage. She lost the baby…my baby.'
Immediately Hermione let go of Neville's hand and going to Harry, she pressed her body against his, taking him into her arms, offering him comfort. But Harry did not hug her back. Instead he pushed her forcefully away from him, so forcefully that she would have crashed to the floor if Neville hadn't been there to catch her and hold her as she looked back at Harry in bewilderment. The look that he gave her in return was a look completely without emotion.
`H-Harry?' she asked as she began to cry again.
But Harry seemed oblivious to her pain as he snarled cruelly, `You did this! You killed my child!' Advancing towards her he showed no pity as she cowered in Neville's arms.
`No…'
But before he could say anything else, before he could hurt Hermione more than he had already done, Neville let go of his friend and punching Harry in the face with all his might, he knocked him out cold.
***
Some hearts are broken and mended, others are shattered or torn. Although it was never intended, for love is eternally sworn. I've cried and prayed and pleaded, for that love to hold its ground. Hope was all I needed, and pain was all I found.
Brennan Hill
Seeing Ginny's eyelids flutter, Harry leapt from his chair at the end of the bed to her side, leaning in close to her and taking one of her hands in his. It took her several minutes before she was conscious enough to recognise him although she soon barraged him with questions.
`Harry? What happened? Am I in the hospital? Why…Oh God, the baby! Harry, did something happen to our baby? Harry! Tell me!'
Unable to lie to her anymore, Harry replied reluctantly, `I…you…the baby's gone, Ginny. I am so, so, sorry.'
Watching as her face crumpled in agony, Harry was surprised when she clung to him, sobbing into his shoulder. But then it occurred to him why she was behaving that way.
She didn't remember what had happened.
`No…no…I don't believe you…you're lying…where's my mum? I want to speak to my mum!' Pulling away, Ginny frantically began tearing at the sheets despite the injuries that she had sustained in the fall.
`Ginny please, try to...'
Harry did his best to calm her down but she was too upset to listen.
`No! You never wanted this baby! You turned away from me the second I told you that I thought I was pregnant. You…you've been having an affair with Hermione behind my back.' Ginny suddenly stopped dead, everything about her from her voice to her facial expression eerily calm. Staring at her husband intently she didn't wait for him to reply, instead asking furiously, `Aren't you even going to deny it? No, there's no point is there? I saw you together. So how long were you sleeping with her? Do you love her? No! I don't want to know! Actually I do want to know. Tell me.'
Standing up Harry ran his hands through his hair, leaving them there as he struggled to find the words that would cause her the least pain. `We weren't…we…I hadn't seen Hermione since the night of her accident. But before that we…three months.'
Ginny's brown eyes hardened instantly. `So what was last night? A quickie for old time's sake?' she snarled sarcastically, before suddenly snapping her head up and laughing. `You were leaving me, weren't you? You were leaving me and our baby in the hope that she would take you back. You bastard, you sick bastard…'
Lunging forward in the bed, Ginny grabbed hold of Harry and dragging him towards her she began viciously beating him about the head and chest. It was the second time in less than an hour that Harry had been attacked but this time he did his best to subdue his attacker and it did not take long for Ginny to collapse against his chest in tears. She was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.
`Did you ever love me?' she whispered some time later when she had recovered her composure somewhat.
`I did, I do. I swear, Gin, I never meant to hurt you. I would never...'
`You love her more. It's as simple as that,' she interrupted bluntly, turning away to wipe the remaining tears from her eyes.
Sighing Harry asked gently, `So what do we do now?'
Leaning back against her pillows, Ginny seemed to contemplate their future and her next words very carefully. When she did reply though, she was detached and unemotional.
`I'm not one of those women who stand by their men when they betray them, and it's not as if we have to stay together for the sake of our child, so it's simple really. We get a divorce and you go far, far away. And you take Hermione with you. I couldn't cope, I couldn't get on with my life if I had to see you or Hermione again. The image I have of you in my head is bad enough.'
Harry didn't argue with her. She was right after all. Leaving was the least he could do for her. But there was still a problem with her plan.
`What if Hermione won't go?'
Thinking about what he had said to her in his initial fury on hearing about the loss of the baby made Harry's blood run cold. He had hit out at her when it was not her fault but his. And now it was just one more thing to feel guilty about. One more reason for her to never want to see him again.
`She'd do anything for you, Harry.'
But Harry very much doubted it. As far as he was concerned, he had lost Hermione for good.
***
If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain. If I can ease one life the aching, or cool one pain, or help one fainting robin, unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.
Emily Dickinson
Closing the door to Ginny's hospital room gently behind him, Harry took a deep breath and anxiously scanned the waiting area for any sign of Hermione but she was obviously long gone. Not that he had expected her to be waiting for him. But he had hoped nonetheless. Lifting his hand to his nose, which was still smarting from Neville's blow he winced, not just because of the physical pain but also for the pain he had caused Hermione and Ginny. Not really paying attention to where he was going he began walking away from Ginny's room towards the lifts.
Walking past the fireplaces that were located in the lobby, he almost didn't notice Neville, with his back to him, his head stuck in the flames. Stopping, he couldn't help but catch the muffled conversation.
`Yeah, Han…I'm coming home now…no I don't know where she's going…yes…yes…
I'll make sure she's okay…yeah…I'll see you soon...'
Neville pulled his head out of the flames and turning round glared angrily at Harry as soon as he spotted him. Without a word he turned to walk away but before he could get very far Harry called out, `Neville, wait!'
Refusing to comply, Neville continued to walk muttering furiously as he did so, `Go to hell Harry!'
`I just want to...'
Spinning around Neville suddenly grabbed hold of Harry by his shirt and shoving him up against the nearest wall snarled, `Listen, I may be your friend, but right now I have no qualms about punching you again so I suggest you leave me alone.'
Unperturbed by the anger in Neville's eyes or the tightness of his hold, Harry replied passionately, `I don't care! I just want to tell Hermione that the…what happened to Ginny was not her fault. I need to make sure that she knows that.'
Shaking his head Neville let go of him and taking a step backwards answered, `Damn right you do! You messed up Harry. You really messed up.'
Sensing that Neville no longer wanted to destroy him, Harry admitted with complete sincerity, `I know that. I just want to fix it. Please Neville. Tell me where she is.'
But Neville was not to be easily persuaded. `No chance. She asked me not to tell anyone and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. She never wants to see you again Harry.'
Quickly he interrupted, `She won't have to after today. Just this one time, I swear. I'll say what I need to say and then she'll never see me again. Nobody will. I'm leaving.'
Understanding glinting in his deep brown eyes, Neville smirked and asked in a tone that made it clear that he knew the answer before he even asked the question. `Ginny?'
Sighing Harry nodded and laughing ruefully replied `Yeah. I deserve it though.'
Neville did not hesitate to agree with Harry's statement. `You won't get an argument from me on that score.'
His eyes anxiously darting to the lifts, Harry tried one last time to get Neville to tell him what he needed to know. `I'm just trying to do the right thing. Finally. For everybody. Please Neville. Where'd she go?'
Watching him closely for a second as if to judge that his motives were honourable and apparently deciding that they were, Neville answered with a hint of annoyance, `The International Portkey Station at the Ministry. That's all I know.'
Harry was running down the stairs four at a time before Neville had finished speaking.
***
And I don't regret the rain, or the nights I felt the pain, or the tears I had to cry, some of those times along the way. Every road I had to take, every time my heart would break,
it was just something that I had to get through, to get me to you.
`To Get Me To You' by Lila McCann
The sight of Hermione caused Harry to stumble to a stop. He had pushed past a number of disgruntled wizards in his race to get to the Ministry's International Portkey Station and had flung himself at every brunette that had entered his line of vision once he got there. But this time his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. There was Hermione, sat on a chair, sipping from a polystyrene cup and staring into space. There was Hermione wearing that same pink jumper that she had had since she was sixteen years old and playing with her hair just as he had watched her do when she was curled up in the Gryffindor common room reading a book.
He didn't have a clue what to say to her though. His mind seemed to have gone blank. He was sweating, and panting from exhaustion, he knew he looked awful and he felt that way too. But as if on automatic pilot, his legs began to move in her direction and before he had even thought of an opening line he was stood in front of her, looking into her startled brown eyes.
`Harry, what are you doing here?' she whispered, her eyes flitting in every direction but his.
`Neville told me where you were…don't be mad at him…I begged him to tell me…' he began hurriedly as the colour drained rapidly from Hermione's face.
`He had no right…' she interrupted agitatedly as she stood up, dropping her drink to the floor as she did so. Neither noticed as it splashed onto their feet.
`No. I made him. Hermione, please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. It's not Neville's fault…damn…I don't blame you, the baby wasn't your fault, please, don't do this, it was me…'
`I can't deal with this anymore, Harry. I can't deal with you. I'm sorry.' Turning away from him, Hermione picked up her purse and began to walk away.
Harry however had much, much more to say and grabbing hold of her arm spun her round before pleading quietly, `It's my fault, Hermione. Ginny's miscarriage, the pain that both of you feel, everything. It's all my fault. Nobody blames you, not even Ginny. Please don't blame yourself.'
Both in tears, Hermione answered tiredly, `But don't you see? I blamed myself before you said what you said. And how can Ginny not blame me? I've taken everything from her! Her husband, her child, her happiness!'
Wrenching herself free, she backed away from him, slamming into the person stood behind her. Harry tensed when he realised who it was, as did Hermione, although for different reasons.
`What the hell do you want now, Potter?' Malfoy snarled as his gaze passed from Hermione's tear-stained face to Harry's manic expression and dishevelled appearance.
`Nothing, Malfoy. Just a minute of Hermione's time. So why don't you stay out of this, okay?' Harry replied while at the same time he felt his heart beginning to break.
She wasn't just leaving. She was leaving with Malfoy.
Malfoy did not intend to be got rid of though and stepping in front of Hermione he snarled at Harry `If you think for one second that I'm going to leave you alone with her, then you are sadly deluded my friend.'
Despite his better judgement, Harry felt himself being drawn into another argument with the git that Hermione called her boyfriend.
`I am not your friend. And what gives you the right to say who Hermione can and cannot talk to?' he snapped, watching as Hermione turned away from them both, her pain clearly written on her face.
This wasn't what he wanted. He was causing her more pain not lessening the pain she already felt.
Malfoy caught sight of who Harry's eyes were fixed on, and before he knew what was happening Harry found himself lying on the floor with blood streaming from his nose. Nearby he heard Hermione scream and suddenly she was by his side, holding his hand in hers and stroking his hair.
And slightly light-headed, and in a little bit of pain, with Malfoy baring down on them and a crowd of curious bystanders watching, Harry finally said what was in his heart. `Hermione…marry me…'
***
In life, what sometimes appears to be the end is really a new beginning.
Anon
The world seemed to spin crazily for a second as Harry's words floated around in Hermione's head. She could almost see them, tempting her to believe that she and Harry would be together and that they could have the happy ending that she had prayed for. That her dreams could come true. The rest of the world had vanished. Only she and Harry remained, sat on the cold floor staring at each other. Finally, with difficulty, she found her voice.
`I know that this is gonna sound, well, like I'm stating the obvious, and after everything that's happened this is a weird time to bring it up, but Harry, you're married.'
Leaning forward, Harry grabbed both of Hermione's ice-cold hands in his. She wasn't saying no, he still had a chance.
Desperately he seized it, explaining a little erratically, `Ginny wants a divorce…and so do I. I'll accept full blame, I really don't care. I just want a new start…with you.'
Biting her lip, Hermione's brown eyes grew as huge as saucers as the full extent of his words hit her. He had once offered to leave Ginny for her but he had never mentioned marriage before, not marriage to her. But she was still unsure.
`You're really getting a divorce?'
Smiling Harry nodded emphatically. `I swear on my Invisibility Cloak.'
For a brief moment Hermione's eyes sparkled with happiness but then without warning they darkened and he realised instantly what was going on in her mind. She was withdrawing from him, protecting herself from any further pain. Just as he had feared, he had hurt her too much and he couldn't take it back.
Removing her hands from his, Hermione suddenly stood up and shaking her head began to back away from him with a bewildered look on her face. Stumbling, she awkwardly caught herself just as a pair of strong male hands reached out and steadied her. Malfoy's hands.
Standing up, Harry rushed towards her but stopped when she whispered, `No…I…no.'
Triumph shone in Malfoy's eyes, as smirking at Harry, he gently wrapped his arms around Hermione's shaking body and turning her towards him he said, `There. You got your answer. Now leave her alone.'
And twisting around he began to lead her away. Defeated and alone, Harry simply watched with burning eyes as the couple walked away. Rooted to the floor he found himself unable to do anything. His mind was screaming but his body was numb.
He had lost her.
When he regained consciousness enough to move, he did so sluggishly and with his head hung low. He had no idea what he should do next, where he should go, all he knew was that nothing mattered. And he could blame nobody but himself.
Sighing, he exhaustedly began to shuffle towards the lift, for the first time feeling the pain from Malfoy's blow and noticing that although he was no longer bleeding, his clothes were covered with blood and that he was getting wary, suspicious looks from passers-by.
He had taken just a few steps when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Ignoring the person, he continued to walk, not in the mood for physical contact of any kind, but a second prod caused him to turn around and find himself staring once again into Hermione's brown eyes.
`I don't want to go with Draco. I want to go with you. If you still want me.'
Energy surging through his body, Harry did not answer but instead swept Hermione into his arms for a kiss that said more than any words could and that lasted longer than either would have thought possible.
`Is that a yes?' Hermione eventually asked, flushed, dishevelled and gasping for breath.
Harry burst out laughing and nodded. `Do you even have to ask?'
***
Mischief managed!
Thank you all for reading! TTFN!
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