Façades
Emotions
~ Hermione ~
I pulled a face as the smell from the chicken and ham pie that the witch across the way from me was having for lunch wafted over to my desk. Placing my fingers lightly against my lips I swallowed a few times and fought nausea, but it got worse when I looked over to see her greedily spooning a too full, fork full of the item into her mouth. When a piece of chicken missed her mouth and plopped onto her desk with a disgusting squelching sound, I jumped up and made a mad dash for the loo.
Making it to the stall just in time I emptied the contents of my lunch in a matter of moments before leaning heavily against the side of the stall to catch my breath. As I moved to leave the booth the feeling suddenly flew over me once more and I barely had time to turn around before I was heaving and spewing again. Several minutes later I finally stumbled out of the stall, my stomach blessedly empty, and headed to the sink. Taking some water into my mouth I gargled a bit and spit before using a freshening charm on my breath. Looking up I stared blankly at my pale reflection as various thoughts rushed through my head.
`I couldn't be… I couldn't be, I can't be, I can't be, I can't be,' I chanted over and over in my mind staring at my pale face and scraggly looking hair. `I was always careful, always used the proper protection spells and potions. In fact I used both, regularly. Ron and I had discussed children and decided that, at least at this point, we weren't ready yet. And Harry….'
I groaned and splashed a bit of cool water on my face. Ginny was already four and a half months along and everything was going well with her pregnancy. Harry got a bit more excited every month and more and more use to the thought of being a father.
I sighed and looked up at my wet face. `What does it matter? It's most likely Ron's anyway. I mean I was always extra careful with Harry not only do I use my potion regularly but I also use anti-pregnancy protection spells.' I frowned as my mind flicked back to that time in the kitchen a couple of months ago `No way, I had still used my potion and one time without the spell added wouldn't make a difference would it?'
I shook my head `Now don't get all worked up Hermione. You don't even know for sure, sure. I mean maybe you've just had some bad milk in your coffee today -it did smell a bit queer.' I groaned and banged my head on the counter. `Who the hell was I kidding, that could explain today but it did nothing for yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that or the day before that. Not to mention the lack of a monthly.'
I looked up and rubbed my now red forehead "Okay don't freak out, you just need to see and expert. Make an appointment and find out for sure before you do anything else," I muttered to myself with a firm nod.
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My knee bounced impatiently and I fiddled anxiously with the sleeves of my jumper as I waited for the healer to come back from the lab. As my gaze scanned the room my eyes took in several pictures of pregnant women and a few charts that showed the development of babies inside of the womb. Frowning a bit I quickly redirected my gaze to the ceiling.
"Mrs. Weasley," the healer smiled upon reentering.
I released a shaky breath and smiled back. "Hello Madam Turnsbey," I nodded, "did you get the results back?"
She laughed, "You never were one to beat around the bush were you Hermione?"
"No ma'am," I blushed.
"Well, I did and…. Congratulations! You and Ron will be having a baby in about six and a half months!" she beamed. When my face fell and my mouth dropped a bit she frowned "I…uh, take it that this is a surprise?"
"How…"
She arched a brow and I blushed again.
"I don't mean how did it happen -I mean… well, how did it happen? I use potions and protection spells to guard against this type of thing," I cried.
I wasn't ready for a baby, how would I tell Ron -how would I tell Harry? My eyes widened. `Who is the father?!' I felt myself getting nauseous once more. When I lurched dangerously a bin appeared in front of me just in time, I buried my face in the small basket for a moment giving into the feeling. After I was done I gave the older woman a grateful, yet still pretty pitiful smile.
"Thanks," I muttered wiping the corners of my mouth with the tissue that she passed me.
"Are you alright?" she inquired with a small smile rubbing my back lightly.
I gave a jerky nod.
"Are you sure?" When I nodded once more she continued. "Okay… well in reference to your earlier question. Though they are effective, spells and potions are not a hundred percent. You see, even though they work quite well, the odds of getting pregnant anyway go up the more sexual active you are." She took a seat in the chair and scooted forward, pulling out a small potion chart "Let's say you're taking a five ounce dose of the anti-pregnancy potion once a month. If you are having sex four maybe five times a month then it is very likely to be effective, however if you're having intercourse ten times a month then the effectiveness is cut I half. Do you see what I'm getting at?" I nodded again and she gave subtle smile. "Here you can have a copy of this to use when you explain things to Ron," she said handing me the potion chart. "So are you going to be alright?"
"I- yeah, yes. I will be thank you," I stated softly.
She nodded "Alright… well I have a few more patients to see. Uh… take your time. You don't have to leave right away if you don't want to."
"Actually I have to get back to work," I replied standing and offering a weak smile "I'm only on lunch."
She nodded. "Well alright Hermione. I'll see you in about two and a half weeks for your first second trimester checkup. Try and bring Ron, I find that it's helpful when the husbands are more involved in the appointments early on. They freak out just a bit less when it's time to deliver then." She finished with a smile and a wink before heading out of the door.
I stood there for a moment longer before walking dazedly out of the office, my gaze flicked down to the chart in my hands as I looked over the dosage and the percentages of effectiveness per activity. I frowned, with how often Harry and I had it off then I should have been taking at least twice my normal dosage. I paused looking around helplessly before collapsing into a nearby chair.
`So that meant that if I didn't use the spell when we were together then Harry and I were basically having unprotected sex. Which means that that night a couple of months ago was most likely when I had gotten pregnant. Which means I may very well have gotten pregnant for Harry on the day of his wife's celebration dinner for their baby!' I felt myself beginning to hyperventilate. Leaning forward I placed my head between my knees and attempted to catch my breath. `This was not happening, this could not be happening! How would I tell Ron -what would I tell Ron?! What would Harry say? What do I do? I know that it's more likely to be Harry's than Ron's -Oh my God! What if the baby came out looking just like Harry?! Have Ron and I even shagged recently? I can't remember!' my mind wailed and I began to feel light headed.
"You really should slow down your breathing," a soft tinkling voice advised.
I tightened my eyes `Oh, no. I really didn't feel like this right now.' Looking to my right I noticed the wide-eyed gaze of Luna Longbottom focused on me, a serene smile on her face.
"That's better," she nodded, lightly rubbing my back. "Perhaps you should see a healer."
I closed my eyes briefly "I've just come from the healer Luna," I muttered.
She gave me an odd look "Hmm, doesn't seem to have helped much does it? You didn't by chance see any purple bunnies on your way from the exam room to here did you?"
My mouth opened automatically to ask her what the bloody hell she was going on about before I snapped shut -I didn't want to know, "No Luna I didn't."
She nodded "Good. Though you still look like you're going to pass out," she cocked her head to the side "Suppose you couldn't have picked a better place though, yeah?
I exhaled and sat up "I'm fine. I have to get back to work now."
She continued to appraise me as I stood and ran a hand though my hair. "Well alright then," she said after a minute "I have to get back to work anyway myself."
I nodded and gave her one last smile, as I headed out of the area she called out once more.
"Oi! Hermione!"
I turned and gave her a curious look.
"Congratulations," she commented with a small smile.
I frowned "On what?"
She gave me a questioning look "On the baby of course."
My mouth dropped slightly and I stared at her before looking around then back at her "How did you know about that?"
She giggled "Why the Lillyhone of course, it whispered it in my ear when you were sitting here."
I opened my mouth then closed it, settling for a small smile, a brief nod and a light wave. Bleedin mental she was, I had no idea how she ended up being a healer in the Mental Health ward instead of a patient. Turning away from her and discreetly shaking my head I hurried out of the hospital and back to work.
***********
~ Ginny ~
I turned back and then forth I front of the full-length mirror staring dismally at my reflection. "I look like a Crumple Horned Snorkack."
I saw Pansy and Hermione share a look in the reflection of the mirror before Hermione replied. "Uh -Gin. There's no such thing as a Snorkack…"
"Of course there is," I turned and faced her making a sweeping motion to indicate myself "right here!"
When my face crumbled and tears began to spill both woman shared a look before rushing forward and hugging me.
"Shhh, don't cry Gin you look beautiful," said Hermione.
"Yeah, you have that gorgeous pregnancy glow about you," added Pansy with a smile.
I sniffled, "I look like a whole bloody Quidditch team."
"Come on Ginny you're not that big," replied Pansy.
"Who are you kidding?! I fucking huge!"
Hermione frowned, "Gin you're only about four months along, you're not really big at all."
My eyes widened, "Oh my God you're right! I'm only going to get bigger!!!" I let out a small wail and collapsed onto the couch. "He's not going to want to see me naked now!"
Pansy shot Hermione a dirty look and the other woman winced.
"That's not what I meant Gin," Hermione tried again, kneeling down next to me.
Pansy took a seat on the couch and put an arm around me "Yeah, I fancy Harry'll think that you're even more beautiful round with his child."
I sniffled and gave her a pitiful look, "Y-you think so?"
Pansy nodded, "Yes, a bloke just loves seeing a pregnant woman's belly. It makes them feel all manly and accomplished, like `Oh look what I've done'. Then they puff out their chests all proudly like they really did something other than just get off," she stated importantly. I giggled and Pansy threw Hermione a look, "Right?"
When I looked at her too, Hermione gave a weak laugh and nodded, "Of course. That's how men are dear."
I smiled and lightly rubbed my belly `I wonder if Draco would feel that way or not?' I thought to myself -`I'll have to ask him.'
"Feeling better are we love?" Pansy smiled.
I swallowed the shame that welled up in my throat as I looked at his smiling wife who had worked so hard to cheer me up. And wondered guiltily what she would do if she knew that my worries weren't about my husband, but about hers. Banishing the thought I smiled back at her.
"I'm not only feeling better, I'm feeling completely ravenous. What do we have to eat?"
Hermione and Pansy laughed as the latter got up and walked over to the kitchen. I smiled watching as she went into the fridge and rubbed my belly lightly once more. About once a week for the past two years we had started having "girls days", where we would get together after work to joke, snack and gossip. The tradition had been implemented after we found out about our husbands' frequent "guy lunches". We had also tried lunch but with our jobs someone would usually have to work though it, so we had started meeting after work instead having found it easier to request to leave on time once a week than to always get a lunch. We would normally go to a restaurant, café or teahouse however lately we had taken to meeting regularly at Pansy and Draco's house for our girls' days.
The reason? Well you see I told Pansy that the decorum of their elegant flat had a calming effect on the baby, so she, Hermione and Luna -who had been unable to make it today - had happily agreed to the change. However the truth was I loved meeting at their flat because I couldn't get enough of Draco's smell. The intoxicating blend of chocolate and spices that always clung to the blond man was my major pregnancy craving. One deep whiff and I was in absolute bliss, all my troubles melted away and my body became almost lethargic, it was addicting. So since I couldn't always be around Draco or even be near him when he was around, this was my next best solution.
The whole house smelled like him, candles were constantly burning that contained that chocolate scenting and his cologne, which was the source of the spices, lingered on everything. `Sure it's not as potent as the scent that clings to him but it's enough to satisfy my craving,' I thought, hugging my pillow and inhaling. That's right my pillow. Pansy had given it to me after I kept repeating over and over again how soft and relaxing it was. I gave a secretive smile, I couldn't wait to take it home tonight and curl up with it -I wonder if Harry will notice? I sighed, probably not. He didn't really pay a lot of attention these days, he was too focused on work.
"Alright ladies, I have for your tasting pleasure," Pansy announced returning, "fresh crumpets, strawberry tarts and small egg salad finger sandwiches. I also have some fresh brewed tea that is an Indian mix that Draco brought back from one of his trips last month. It's absolutely fabulous," she smiled setting the trays down.
I grinned, accepted the teacup from her and reached for a sandwich. As I was about to take a bite, Hermione suddenly jumped up from her chair and bolted down the hall. Pansy and I shared bewildered looks and rushed after her.
"What happened?" I asked the other woman as we waited outside of the loo.
"I don't know," Pansy replied wincing as the sounds of Hermione spewing echoed from behind the door. "I just handed her the tea, she got one whiff and she was off."
I frowned, my brows furrowing as I processed this information. A minute later the toilet flushed and the water ran for a moment before Hermione opened the door and stepped out.
"Oh, hey you guys," she muttered blushing.
"Hey…" Pansy and I replied looking at one another then back at her.
"Are you alright?" the other woman asked.
"Yeah, just a little nauseous. I think I may be coming down with something," she blushed looking down.
My mouth dropped "Oh my God!" Both of their eyes flew to me and Hermione flushed "OH MY GOD!!!"
"Ginny what is it?" Pansy asked worried.
I kept my gaze on Hermione "You are, aren't you?" She sighed and looked away. "Does my brother know?! He's going to have a sodding coronary! Oh my God!" I screamed, grabbing the other witch and whirling her around.
"Ugh, Gin if you don't stop I'm going to spew again," she groaned.
I quickly let her go "Sorry," I said sheepishly before shaking my head. "How many months?"
It was then that Pansy's look went from confused to surprised "Oh my God! Not you too!!"
I laughed -then frowned, "Oi! What does that mean?!"
The other woman blushed. "I didn't mean it that way -I just I meant… well, bloody hell I hope it's not something in the water or anything…"
I giggled and Hermione cracked a smile. "There just might be," she said with a teasing grin. "I think you and Malfoy are next."
Pansy pulled a face, "I hope not."
"Why not?" I frowned disliking the way she had said it.
She shot me a quick look and shrugged, "I just don't think that Draco is `dad material' that's all."
"Why not? He seems like he'd be a great dad."
Hermione and Pansy both looked at me as though I had gone daft.
"You have met my husband, haven't you Ginny?" Pansy inquired arching a brow. "He's no more father material than his father was."
I sucked in a sharp breath at this statement. Draco was nothing like his father, at least not anymore. I felt indignant anger well up in me and knew immediately that I should walk away. I should shut up. They were watching me too closely, but my bloody hormones were raging like a fucking bull and I just couldn't keep my ruddy mouth shut.
"You cow! I'll have you know that just because his father was a git doesn't make him one! Harry was raised by a prat that doesn't mean he's going to act like his pratty uncle, now does it?!" I scoffed and gave her a disdainful look. "How can you even be married to a man that you think would make a horrible father?! I don't know who that says more about: you, for marrying him -or him for not realizing what he was getting when he married you!"
They both stared at me in shock and I looked back my chest hitching several times before I suddenly burst into tears. Rushing back into the living room I grabbed my favorite pillow and collapsed heavily onto the couch.
"Ginny?" Pansy inquired hesitantly after a moment.
I ignored her and cried more, pulling away from her when she touched me. I don't know why I'm reacting like this, stupid hormones. Usually a good argument gets me excited, rejuvenated, but right now I feel so drained and stupid and just… just… blah. I cried harder.
"Why the hell is there a wailing Weasley on my couch?" a voice demanded.
I stiffened briefly upon recognizing Draco's voice and then began weeping harder. `Now he was going to seem me like this! Looking like a big overblown, puffy red faced, red haired mess!' I buried my face deeper in the pillow. `I looked like a fucking apple!'
"I… I don't know," whispered Hermione.
"We were just talking and she sorta flipped out," added Pansy.
"Well, what did you do?!" Draco accused.
"Nothing!" they both defended.
"Well what can you do to shut her up?! I mean fuck, there has to be something! You're both ruddy women, how do you shut up a crying pregnant chick?!" he griped loudly. "She's snotting all over my expensive pillows!"
I buried my face deeper into the pillow in question and let out a loud wail. Now I had disgusted him. He would never want me again. I was just a Quidditch pitch sized, puffy faced bogie machine who had messed up his posh pillows!
"I…" Hermione gave a frustrated sigh "I'll… I'll go and see if I can find Harry. Was he at work when you left?"
"I'm not Potter's keeper, so I wouldn't bloody well know -now would I?" Draco hissed; Hermione huffed then disappeared with a pop.
"I'll, I'll see if I can find some type of baby safe potion or something to help. I'm sure I can whip something up if we don't have anything. I'll be back in a few minutes alright?" Pansy said after the other woman left.
Draco groaned "What am I supposed to do with her till then?!"
"I don't know, something -nothing? I'll be back," Pansy called, her voice getting farther away.
A moment later I felt a warm hand lightly caress my back. "Come on Red, why so blue?" Draco whispered, pulling me against him.
I quickly turned around and buried my head in his shoulder before he could see my blotchy face and he chuckled.
"Why are you crying Red?" he murmured rubbing my back. "It tears my heart to hear you weeping so."
I smiled to myself at the sentiment and sniffled trying to pull myself together for him. As my tears subsided I closed my eyes and just relished the short moment I had being wrapped safely in his arms before everyone came back and reality interjected once more. His unique intoxicating scent floated to up my nose and soaked into my senses, instantly calming me like it always did. I sighed and snuggled into him wrapping my arms around his waist, he gave me a brief squeeze and kissed the top of my head.
"That's better," he murmured and then pulled away a bit.
I fought it as he tried to tip my head back, but in the end he was stronger than me. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the disgust in his own when he looked at my face. However my eyes automatically fluttered open when he wiped at my tears with his thumbs. The way Draco was looking at me almost made me weep again, his gaze held so much adoration that despite my huge size and puffy eyes I actually felt beautiful.
"Don't be blue, Red," he murmured before leaning forward and placing a soft fleeting kiss on my lips.
"I love you," I murmured.
He smiled, "I love you too," he replied before sighing. "But I have to get up now, the calvary will return soon." I blushed and he winked at me. "I'll get you some fresh tea. I believe I stashed a bit of your favorite blend."
He gave me one last soft heady kiss and on the lips before standing and heading towards the kitchen. I silently watched his graceful movements as he shrugged out of his robe and threw it onto the chair, then walked into the large open kitchen area and went into one of the higher cabinets. Leaning back on the couch I hugged my pillow close and observed Draco through tired eyes as he brewed my tea, his movements quick and efficient but still elegant. Just as he began to pour me a cup Pansy rushed down the hallway carrying a small vial.
"Oh," she said pausing and looking at me curiously, "you're not crying anymore…"
I gave a wry grin, "All cried out," I shrugged.
"Hmm," she tapped her chin then with a wave of her wand summoned a cork. "Well if you have another episode then this should help you to feel relaxed and happy once more. I just made it especially for you. And don't worry it uses all baby safe ingredients," she smiled.
"Thanks Pansy," I smiled back.
"What did she come up with?" Draco inquired walking over and handing me my tea.
I gave him an appreciative look and valiantly fought the overwhelming urge to pull him close to me once more. "A potion to make me feel better."
He arched a brow and gave his wife an admiring look; I frowned.
"An emotion potion," he commented with a chuckle, "nice."
A set of double pops echoed thought the room and Harry and Hermione appeared. My husband breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing me and rushed forward.
"Are you alright Gin? Hermione said that you had had some sort of breakdown," he said, running his fingers though my hair and studying me anxiously.
I nodded, "I'm fine. Just a… small hormonal burst," I laughed sipping my tea. I shot Draco a look as the delicious earthy blend trickled down my throat, he always knew exactly what I liked. The blonde smirked crookedly and gave me a small discreet wink.
Harry nodded his head and relaxed a bit, "Did you want me to take you home?"
I frowned, "No… we haven't finished our sandwiches." Draco snorted a laugh and I shot him a glare, "What? I'm hungry." My face fell, "Or do you think I'm too fat to eat?"
"O-I-uh, no-no," Draco's mouth fell a bit and he held up his hands defensively, backing away from the glares he was receiving from Hermione, Pansy and Harry.
I sniffled, "Then why did you do that?"
"I…uh, a bit of dust -that's all," he winced.
I frowned and looked down at my tea.
"I…uh, here Harry," Pansy interjected tossing my husband the vial. "It's a little something I worked out. It should help her to calm down if she gets too wound up one day. I call it my `Emotion Potion'," she flushed with Draco shot her a look. "Okay well my husband thought of the name but I concocted it. Just -well when you use it let me know how it works out, yeah?"
Harry nodded and pocketed the container before looking at me once more.
"Are you alright Gin?"
I gave him a curious look "What do you mean, of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?" I snorted then grinned. "Now I don't have to go through this alone, I'm better than ever!"
Draco and Harry frowned at me with twin looks of confusion while Hermione groaned.
"Can I? Can I? Can I? Please? Please? Please?" I begged.
The other woman sighed and shrugged, Harry and Draco exchanged glances and then looked between the two of us.
"Hermione's pregnant too!!" I exclaimed jovially.
When my husbands mouth fell in shock and he gave his best mate an astonished look I giggled and tapped him on the shoulder. Harry blinked several times then roughly tore his gaze from Hermione to look at me.
"Isn't it wicked cool?!" I grinned before frowning at his pale complexion, "Harry?"
He took a deep breath still looking pole-axed by this latest development. "Yeah?" he frowned.
"Are you alright?"
"Of… course…"
I grinned. "Good! Then pass me a sandwich will you?"
My husband blinked then nodded sharply before reaching over and gathering my food. He handed me plate with a few small sandwich squares on it a moment later, his hands shaking with excitement from the great news. I grinned and munched happily away, idly wondering how I ever could have been sad at such an awesome time like this.
A.N. That's it for this chappy. In case you're confused my Ginny's actions, she's just going to pregnancy mood swings -don't call your local mental heath professional. *lol* I wanted to give a thanks to everyone who replied and a special thanks to those of you who went to Deviant Art and responded to that chick personally. All of your kind thoughts made me feel all warm and squishy. Also to my Harmony readers I do have a new H/Hr fic coming out soon (actually I wrote it a while ago, it's been sitting on my lap top feeling ignored) it's called Unconscious Confessions I hope you get a chance to check it out. Don't forget to review and ja ne!!
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