A/N: Well I have to say I feel much better about this chapter then the last. I want to thank my quick and awesome beta Digitallace for helping me with this chapter.
Hope you like it and please review
P.S. I still don't own Harry Potter
A crowd made up of more than half the population of Hogwarts was gathered at the bottom of the stage waiting for him to start.
"Go HARRY!" Someone from the back of the Great Hall screamed right as Harry began to talk.
This of course resulted in thunderous applause that left Harry unable to speak for several minutes. As I looked around the Great Hall looking for the person that had screamed I noticed that almost everyone in the hall was clapping except the Slytherins of course. I looked back up to the stage and noticed a grimace on Harry's face just as the chorus of applause ceased. He looked like he was in pain but this pain seemed to be more emotional than physical. I still did not understand why he could never tell me what was making him hurt so badly. Although my thoughts were still confused, I was pulled away from them as Harry began to finally speak.
"You know beating Voldemort wasn't actually that hard," Harry started off. "The worse part had to be when I was hanging off the Astronomy Tower and he looked down at me with his red eyes and yelled "Harry I am your father."
Only the muggle-borns laughed at this seriously over used joke and I couldn't help but giggle a little.
"Seriously it gave me nightmares for weeks. Could any of you actually think of your mum having sex with Voldemort and not have any nightmares? Yeah that's what I thought."
The whole hall erupted with laughter and I actually found myself laughing along.
"Oh, how about this, your dad doing it with Bellatrix," Harry said as he laughed. "Gave you a wonderful mental picture there, didn't I?"
"Well while I'm making fun of Voldemort or Mister-I-must-kill-Harry-Potter, I was wondering if anyone else had heard his lisp." Harry laughed at the complete silence this question presented him with. "Well believe me if he went to a muggle grade school he would have never passed the first grade. I could just see little Tommy sitting by himself on the short bus."
Harry seemed truly happy up there on the stage for the first time this evening. Apparently he liked torturing us with extremely nasty and unwanted mental pictures.
"I absolutely despised fifth year and no it wasn't because of Umbitch or the O.W.L.S. I hated it because of the extremely enormous choice that I had to make," Harry said as if he was giving out advice. "See as a fifth year you have to choose what career you would like to have so you can pursue the right classes to make sure you can get there. Here is how I see it; it all depends on which classes you can actually handle for another two years. Potions are for the people who like dark and creepy dungeons that come supplied with an equally creepy potions professor." Harry paused waiting for the students to settle down after his joke and it's after effect.
Professor Snape decided that Harry's joke was offensive and reacted dramatically -just as Harry had planned- and stormed out of the Great Hall with his black cloak billowing behind him.
"Sorry, Professor Snape" Harry called after him which only resulted in more laughter from the students.
I looked to my left and saw Neville crying from his mirth at Snape's display. I started laughing along with him and soon my stomach began to hurt. This is just what all of us needed after we had to experience war and the death's of our closest friends.
"Well anyways I figure defense against the dark arts is for people who love running and cowering in fear.While transfiguration is an entirely different story; it is for people who like staring at a stationary object wanting your object to turn into a bird but instead it turns into a mouse with wings."
"By far the class I love the most is divination," he said in a false tone of contentment. "I mean how could you not love Professor Trelawney telling just how, when, and why you are going to die everyday of the class semester?" Harry said with extreme sarcasm in his voice.
"Well that's all the jokes I have. Have a great evening everyone." He said as he got off the stage as the thunderous applause started up again.
The rest of the evening went just like this with an occasional song thrown in the middle of the acts. Harry continued introducing the acts and one by one the smile plastered on his face soon began to disappear, but I took no notice as to why. After we had broken up I began to feel, well empty; like a part of me was missing and I soon felt myself falling apart physically and mentally. I was always tired from having sleepless nights and it took an amazing toll on my schoolwork. I was unable to pay attention in History of Magic anymore because I couldn't help but steal a few glances at the back of Harry's head. This alerted Ron of my condition, because with the lack of my attention I was unable to give him the notes for the past two weeks.
"Why don't you just go talk to him if being away from him is hurting you so much?" He had asked me.
"I-I can't Ron, I just can't talk to him again." I told him as I looked straight into his eyes trying to look brave but of course my eyes betrayed my true feelings. Vulnerable. I was completely and utterly vulnerable.
"Why?"
This question remained unanswered because I would not nor could I ever tell him about what I had witnessed two weeks ago.
I remember it was in December when I was studying in the Gryffindor common room. I had an Ancient Runes test the following day. It was never like me to leave studying till the last minute; that was always Harry and Ron, but for the life of me I was unable to concentrate on my book. Fortunately Harry and Ron had Quidditch practice so I was able to let myself be distracted by the window to my far right.
I walked to it and sat down on its sill and looked down at the ground of Hogwarts. The previous night there had been a sever snowstorm and I was now looking down at the results. Everywhere, all around was covered in a beautiful morning snow. It looked as if it could have been a scene from a snow globe. All of the trees were covered in snow; every branch, every leaf had some of the powdery substance in its crevices.
I soon found myself breathless and wanting to go outside as I took in the scene piece by piece. The entire Forbidden Forest looked as though a giant -taller even than Grawp- had sprinkled powdered sugar all over the tops of the trees and the powder had slowly cascaded down the leaves. I slowly started to realize why Harry had almost verbally attacked me a week ago. Attention. It must have had to do with all the attention he had been getting from the war and now the ball, and just like the trees in the Forbidden Forest, the branches were not strong enough to hold all of the snow and neither was Harry. Something else was bothering me very deep in my subconscious. The way Harry had looked at me that day; his eyes were hard and cold almost lifeless; his body was rigid as if I had just stabbed him. I still did not understand why he acted accordingly.
Before I knew it I had jumped up and ran out of the common room. I didn't know where I was going all I knew was that I had to find Harry. I was planning on confronting him and whether he liked it or not we were going to talk. I still cared about him deeply and I needed to come to terms with the fact that I needed him in my life more than I needed to breathe. Harry was my oxygen, my reason for living. In fact if it hadn't been for Harry I would have been in my grave by now. I would have died in the girl's bathroom on my first Halloween at Hogwarts, but he saved me.
My thoughts were interrupted when my brain realized that I was no longer moving. I tried to concentrate on what my eyes were seeing instead of what I was thinking. What I finally noticed, rather than saw, for my brain refused to believe it -Harry had just walked out of a broom closet with Ginny Weasley.
I was brought out of that sudden memory quickly for I had finally realized that Harry was no longer smiling and I found myself tilting my head at him in confusion.
"Um Hermione?" A hard voice broke threw my dazed thoughts
"Huh?" I asked with a voice that was extremely close to resembling that of Luna Lovegood's. "Wait…what?" I again asked in complete confusion.
Apparently my entire focus had been on Harry for quite sometime now, but I was still utterly confused about many things and my brain was completely overloaded at the moment, which was a first for me.
"I asked if you would like to dance," The voice told me with a tone that had a slight hint of irritation in it. "With me." He added as if he needed to clarify his last sentence.
I finally and reluctantly tore my eyes away from those dark, unhappy green orbs and brought my dazed and confused gaze onto Neville. He showed no expression on his face except through his eyes. They were surprised as they widened even more at the sight of my confused face.
"What?" I started to panic as I asked him. "Is there something on my face?"
I started to feel extremely self conscious and even more confused as I brought my gaze to the floor.
"No, you're perfect Hermione, it's just that you were staring at Harry for quite sometime and I was just beginning to worry." He finally but slowly replied.
"How confused can one girl get?" I asked myself
"Why were you worried?" I quietly asked him, fearing that I already knew the answer.
He leaned down to me and whispered in my ear "It just seems that you would rather be here with Harry than with me."
I quickly looked up at him with sudden anger and determination. " There is no doubt in my mind that I came to this ball with the person I wanted to, Neville believe me I am extremely glad that you asked me to the ball and I wouldn't want to share this experience with anyone else but you."
He seemed happy with my reply so I dragged him out to the dance floor where we danced until midnight. It wasn't awkward dancing with Neville; I mean this was no Yule Ball. We were both just trying to have fun and would pause and pray to Merlin that we wouldn't get chosen when Harry went up to introduce the next act. It took every ounce of strength that I possessed not to look into those beautiful green eyes whenever they showed themselves. When Harry announced the end of the ball almost everyone in the great hall gathered on the dance floor for the final songs.
I was expecting to end the night with a quick upbeat songs but intuitively I knew what would happen. The next song of the night was the notably, the always dreaded love song.
My heart automatically accelerated and soon I began hyperventilating just looking at the stances the other dancers on the floor began to take. I looked at Neville who was looking back at me with a strange hopefulness in his eyes as he extended his hand to me.
"May I take your hand?" he asked in which he thought was a romantic voice but it only made him sound as if he was losing his voice.
I nodded and took his hand unknowingly and quickly for I had spotted Harry talking quietly to Ginny in the far off corner to my left. He was the last person I was going to let see me looking confused and vulnerable.
The song started up but I didn't notice the song or the beat and was just letting Neville drag me around the dance floor like I was like a rag doll in his arms. I only had eyes for the two people who had hurt me so horribly. As we danced closer to them it looked as if Ginny was yelling at Harry but I wouldn't let my hopes get too high. My view was obstructed from them as Neville spun me around. The next thing I knew Harry Potter was walking right toward me.
I quickly tried to drag Neville away from the fast approaching Harry while dancing, but Neville had another plan of action he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Harry and immediately let go of me.
"What are you doing?" I asked him while looking around the room for anywhere I could take cover from Harry.
I was totally unprepared for this, staring at him was one thing but talking to him was on a totally differently level that I was not ready for.
"Looks like Harry wants to talk to us," he replied totally unaware of my panicked face.
In my last ditch effort I decided just to walk away from Neville, I knew it was wrong but I couldn't do this. My head was screaming at me to run and keep running until I knew I was safe, but that advice came too late for Harry had finally approached us.
"Hey Neville." Harry said as he shook Neville's hand while his other hand was resting in his pant pocket.
"Hey Harry. You did a great job up there. I have never seen Snape so angry before," he replied while shaking Harry's hand.
Harry laughed. "I can assure you it was not intentional," he lied as he winked at me.
"Okay this isn't so bad," I thought to myself. "If Harry keeps acting as if I don't exist then I'm fine with that, I can get through this."Of course my optimism didn't last long enough for my hopes to rise.
"Hey Hermione," Harry said nonchalantly. "How are you?"
My heart was beating so fast I had barely heard his question. I didn't know how to react to him; I was expecting the cold shoulder from him or at least the cold, and hard eyed Harry. So I just went on instincts since I was still angry with him.
"Hi, I'm fine," I replied coldly.
"That's good," he commented casually.
"Listen Neville, I was wondering if I could have this dance with Hermione." Harry looked at Neville with a straight stare that almost looked pleading from where I was standing.
"Sure Harry."
I was so angry with Neville I could've hit him. Was I just some object to be handed from one guy to the next? Why did I not have a say in this? Then it dawned on me, I may not have a say but I can still do something.
Harry started walking toward me his arms extended as Neville began to walk away without even a backwards glance at me.
"It's now or never." I thought to myself.
Just as Harry was about to put his hands on me I quickly stumbled around him so his hand only grabbed onto air. I took three extremely huge steps and got a hold on one of Neville's arms. He turned to look at me, surprise evident on his face; he was just about to speak when I covered his mouth with my fingers.
"Actually Harry, we were just about to leave," I told Harry as I tightened my hold on Neville's hand. "Right Neville?"
"Oh yeah that's right, sorry I forgot." He easily lied for me.
"Oh well-" Harry started to reply but I started dragging Neville out of the Great Hall before he could finish and little did I know I was leaving behind a very disappointed Ginny and a heart broken Harry Potter.
Just as I was about to open the door to leave this sudden hellhole I heard the last song of the night. I caught myself. I recognized it, as it was from a muggle rock band.
I quickly slammed the door of the Great Hall with tears shining in my eyes because I knew it was ironic to how my life was right now. I had caught myself and I had no idea, or clue of what I was supposed to do now.