A/N: So yes, I'm back. Having somewhat conquered writer's block and total lack of inspiration, I have finally produced… this. It's taken-obviously-quite a bit of time, and my only excuse is that I have rewritten it about a dozen times. As a warning, I deal with a sensitive issue in this chapter. It is, perhaps, the first time I've ever attempted to deal with an issue of its kind. That being said, please charge any insensitivity you find to my head-not my heart. I'll be glad to listen to your thoughts about it, as always. Enjoy!
Chapter Thirty
"How long has it been since you and Hermione have gone on a proper date?"
Harry didn't turn around, dropping several applications into a filing cabinet and taking a long sip of coffee.
"And how is that your business?"
"Just answer the question, Harry," Ginny said, crumpling up an empty Chocolate Frog wrapper and tossing it into the trash bin. Harry put down his mug and picked up another thick stack of applications, sitting down at his desk with a quill in hand.
"What are you doing here, Ginny?" he said without looking up, marking up the application and putting it aside. "I thought you were at home with Molly."
"I was," she said, "until she told me to find someone else to bother, as I was obviously no help at home."
The corners of Harry's mouth twitched.
"And you chose me," he said, twirling the quill absently, "I'm honored."
"You should be, you prat," she said with dignity, "but you still haven't answered me. How long as it been?"
Harry shrugged.
"Two weeks? Three weeks? I don't know. Ouch!"
Ginny sat back in her chair, having delivered her smack successfully.
"Merlin, Ginny!" he said, glaring at her, "what was that for?"
"For neglecting your fiancée," she said fiercely, "I knew this would happen when I left for school."
The door creaked open, and Neville poked his head into the office. When he saw the two glowering at each other, he raised his eyebrow and said, rather dryly, "Should I come back?"
"Nah," Harry said, still scowling at Ginny, "come on in, Nev."
"I just have a question-are we postponing private tutoring sessions until after Christmas?"
"Yeah," Harry said, pointing at the calendar behind his desk, "second week in January is when they start back up."
"Thanks," Neville glanced at Ginny, "How's it going, Ginny?"
She astonished Harry by turning a fierce shade of scarlet.
"Fine, thank you, Neville," she said rather coldly. Neville's jaw tightened slightly, and he nodded coolly.
"I'll see you later." With that, he shut the door with slightly more force than usual. In the silence that followed, Harry stared at a very flustered Ginny in bewilderment.
"Ginny?"
"Forget him," she said tersely, "how could you neglect Hermione like that?"
"I see her every day," he said quietly, though her words managed to trouble him. Ginny shook her head slowly.
"Men!" she said, with more passion than Harry thought his confession merited, "You're all selfish, clueless, idiotic, distrustful gits!"
There was a pause.
"Right," Harry said, clearing his throat awkwardly and beginning to stand, "now that you're through insulting me, I'm going to go and-"
"Oh, no, you don't!" Ginny snapped, pushing Harry back into his chair, "You and I are going to plan a night for you and your fiancée. She'll never complain, but I will! You men are-"
"…selfish, clueless, idiotic, distrustful gits," Harry recited, grinning. "This git is planning his own date, thanks very much. But I might need some help…"
~*~
"Close your eyes!"
Obediently, Jackie squeezed her eyes shut tightly while Hermione lathered shampoo into her soft blond hair.
"It smells good," Jackie commented happily.
"It does, doesn't it?" Hermione agreed, "Ready? Here comes the water!"
Jackie laughed as Hermione waved her wand, producing a jet of warm water that sent soapsuds flooding down Jackie's back into the tub.
"I like that," she informed Hermione, who was sitting beside the tub on a small stool, "Will I learn how to do that at school?"
"Yes, you will," Hermione said, smiling, "Ready for the conditioner? Gully!"
Jackie giggled as a curious Gulliver came padding into the bathroom, putting his head on Hermione's lap.
"I thought I'd shut the door-" Hermione said exasperatedly, giving him a gentle shove toward the doorway, "Yasmine? Can you come get Gulliver for me?"
"Got him," said a voice behind her. She started in surprise.
"Harry!"
Harry picked Gulliver up and handed him to Yasmine, who carried him off down the hallway. Harry leaned up against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and a half-smile tugging at his lips.
"Hey, Hermione and Jackie," he said, "looks like you're busy."
"Look what I got, Harry!" Jackie held up a polished wooden hippogriff currently dripping with soapy bathwater.
"Cool," Harry said, grinning. He glanced over at Hermione, who explained, "Hagrid sent them to us for Christmas. Jackie only recently discovered they make good bath toys."
"That's cool," Harry said again, this time rather absently. "Hey, Hermione-I've arranged something for us tonight… tonight at seven?"
She looked surprised.
"I mean, you don't have to come," he fumbled, rubbing the back of his neck, "I just thought it's been a long time since we've-"
A smile swept across Hermione's face as she picked up the conditioner.
"That sounds nice, Harry," she said, "I… well, thank Ginny for me."
"What?"
Hermione looked over at him and smirked softly. "I said, thank Ginny for me."
He grinned sheepishly.
"Can't wait for tonight, then," he said, coming forward and dropping a kiss in her hair. "I'll let her know."
Before he could pull away, Hermione turned and cupped his cheek with her soapy hand, kissing him fully on the mouth. He closed his eyes briefly, until Jackie's stifled giggle forced them to break apart.
Hermione blushed and cleared her throat. "Here."
She reached around him and pulled a towel off the rack and dried Harry's cheek with a brisk, gentle movement.
"She's really pink!" Jackie crowed, making both Harry and Hermione laugh sheepishly.
"She is, isn't she?" Harry said, winking at Jackie, "I wonder why?"
Jackie attempted to wink back, but ended up squinting one eye and widening the other.
"All right, Jack-Jack," Hermione said, laughing and beginning to condition Jackie's hair, "Let's let Harry go back to work."
Jackie tilted her head under Hermione's gentle administrations and let out a long, loud sigh.
"Go back to work, Harry!" she said, and Harry, with a very straight face, sprang to attention and saluted, making her laugh.
"Right away!" he said, and with that, he marched away, shutting the door behind him.
Hermione smiled quietly as she began to rinse the conditioner from Jackie's hair.
"What's going to happen to us while you're gone, Hermione?" Jackie questioned curiously.
"I'll have to see who's available to take care of you tonight." Hermione said, "We'll see."
Jackie sent her hippogriff diving into the bath.
"Okay. I hope it's someone fun."
~*~
"Percy?"
Seven voices chorused a single expression of disappointment. Hermione sighed and checked her reflection in the window.
"I know he's not…particularly interesting, but he offered, and it was very kind of him. Be on your best behavior."
Adrian flopped into a kitchen chair, pulling a face.
"That's the worst part of it, really," he said, "when Percy's here, we've got to be."
Hermione eyed him sternly.
"Don't think I've forgotten what you did to poor Mr. and Mrs. Boot, young man. Hannah and Terry were covered in purple polka dots for the rest of the night!"
"Just the rest of the night," Adrian said defensively, "And they were decent sports about it all. They thought it was funny! And you did, too!"
Hermione allowed herself a smile. "Nevertheless, Adrian, I don't particularly enjoy bidding goodbye to sitters who look as though they've caught a variety of ghastly illnesses. It doesn't help me find a sitter for the next time. Ginny still swears she sees a distinctly blue tint to her complexion."
She raised an eyebrow when several sniggers rippled among the seven children crowded around her. "And don't think I've forgotten that Ginny looked like that for the rest of the week."
"You could always bring George over." Adrian suggested hopefully.
"The day I leave George alone with you is the day I wish havoc and chaos upon the whole of the wizarding world," Hermione said very dryly, "besides, George is out with Katie-"
"His girlfriend," Adrian snickered, as he and Jack looked meaningfully in Katy's direction. Katy looked annoyed.
"It's not me, Adrian! It's Katie Bell!"
"…so he was unavailable anyway." Hermione finished wearily, pulling on her gloves and looking at the clock. "Where is he? He's not-usually-late."
"Hello, Hermione!" said a familiar voice, "How are you this fine evening?"
"Oh, hello, Percy," Hermione said distractedly, shaking his hand without actually looking at him, "thank you for coming at such late notice."
"No trouble at all, no trouble at all," Percy said heartily, "I brought Penelope along, I hope you don't mind-Penny, my girl, you remember Hermione."
"How could I forget you?" Penelope said, smiling, "You saved my life from that snake, remember?"
"Oh, yes," Hermione said, looking startled, "I suppose I did. Thank you for coming, Penelope."
"I don't mind," said Penelope, smiling at the children, "You deserve a night off."
There was a knock at the door.
"Well, have a good night, children," Hermione said, hugging each one gently and whispering a firm, "Behave," in every ear. "Thank you for being such good sports."
Adrian held onto Hermione one extra moment and pleaded, "Just one trick, Hermione, please?" Hermione pulled back, laughed, and shook her head.
"Promise me you'll be good, Adrian," she whispered, "for me?"
His shoulders slumped as he nodded.
"All right. I promise," he mumbled rather unhappily, "but just 'cause it's important to you."
"Thank you, Adrian," Hermione said gratefully, kissing his forehead, "you might have fun. Give it a chance."
She ruffled his hair and bid Percy and Penelope goodnight before rushing out into the foyer to open the door. There Harry stood, bearing a single scarlet rose awkwardly in his hand, his hair windswept and sprinkled with snow.
"Oh, Harry-"
"Hi, Hermione," he said, looking up and handed her the rose. She breathed in the distinct, sweet scent. "I thought you might like it."
"Thank you, Harry," she said, reaching up and kissing him. "That was very sweet of you."
"So I haven't managed to butcher this date yet?" he quipped, making her laugh.
"No, not yet," she said, taking his hand, "Do you want to come in, or are you ready to sweep me off to goodness knows where?"
"Oh, is that what I'm supposed to do?" he said with an impish smile, sweeping her up in his arms and making her laugh again. "I thought we saved that for after we got married."
She lay her head on his shoulder, smiling.
"Normally you do, but we're not particularly normal, are we?"
"No, we're not, thank Merlin," Harry said, kissing her forehead lightly. She closed her eyes, and he bent. His lips brushed her ear as he breathed, "Now hold tight to me."
She had just enough time to throw her arm around his neck before he whipped around, whisking both of them into tight, pulsing darkness.
When they finally arrived at their destination, Hermione was clutching at Harry's sweater for dear life. He laughed.
"Er… Hermione, you can let go now," he gently disengaged her arm from around his neck. "No," his hand pressed over her eyes, "keep those curious eyes of yours closed."
She smiled as he took away his hand, gently putting her on her feet. A telltale soft crunch made her aware that not only was she outside, but there was snow underfoot. She frowned slightly as soft snowflakes dissolved on her cheeks and clung to her eyelashes.
"Harry, where-"
"Shh…" he whispered, putting a finger on her lips. "Listen."
She tilted her head, listening carefully. Soon a soft, silvery noise reached her ears. Her brow furrowed.
"Bells?"
"Shh…" he said again, this time taking her hand, "keep your eyes closed-hold out your hand."
He guided her out, and soon she felt her fingers rest on something alive, something sensitive and warm. Soon the sound of snuffles and snorts became apparent.
"Open your eyes," Harry said, and Hermione did. What she saw took her breath away.
"Harry!"
The horses nickered softly at her exclamation, stomping their hooves and tossing their heads under their harnesses. Hermione moved to her right, running a hand along the slender white sleigh in disbelief and awe.
"Well?" he said, laughing, "what do you think?"
Hermione took a step, taking it all in. Two chocolate brown horses stood stomping and neighing in the snow, their breath fogging up in front of them. A sleigh-a long white sleigh with decked with red bows and sprigs of holly-stood waiting for its riders. She frowned.
"Harry, what's that for?" she pointed at the long sled hooked up to the back of the sleigh. He grinned mischievously.
"Questions, questions. One at a time." He twined his fingers around hers. "Ready to go for a ride?"
"Yes!" Hermione said, so excitedly that he laughed a delighted, full laugh she'd heard only a few times before.
"All right, then." He helped her onto the sleigh and sat beside her, covering their laps with a thick, knitted blanket Hermione guessed to be of Weasley origin. "Let's go."
He tapped the sleigh with his wand and the horses responded immediately, starting off at a brisk trot. Hermione leaned up against Harry as he put an arm around her shoulders.
"Harry, aren't you worried about… about the security?" she whispered. He shook his head, smiling.
"Already taken care of, Hermione, in more than fifteen ways," he replied, suddenly looking serious, "If we are attacked, I have exactly eighteen ways we can get away quickly and safely. We also have about ten back-up plans, eight of whom are about a mile away enjoying some dinner at the Longbottoms'."
She gaped at him in astonishment.
"It did make finding a sitter difficult, didn't it?" he said good-naturedly, making her laugh. "Trust me. I'm not taking any risks."
She closed her eyes and leaned up against him. He rested his chin in her hair and murmured, "You're the one thing I can't risk, Hermione."
She sighed and opened her eyes, watching the white countryside drift lazily by, listening to the sound of Harry's breathing, the horses' brisk hooves, and the jangle of the bells on their harnesses. Harry's fingers held hers tightly as they sat in comfortable, sweet silence.
"Where are we going?"
The question came slowly, drowsily. Harry's lips pressed against her hair, just brushing against her skin.
"You'll see."
She tilted a brow at him and he laughed quietly. "Be patient. It'll be worth it."
She sighed and settled back, closing her eyes again and breathing in the frosty air, snuggling into Harry's side. A few moments later, an unfamiliar sound greeted her ears, one that made a smile play across her face.
Harry was humming. Rather badly at that, but Hermione personally thought that it was the sweetest rendition of Silver Bells she had ever heard. She tilted her head toward the sound, squeezing his hand.
The sleigh ride seemed beautifully, serenely endless. Harry attempted to appreciate the scenery around them, but his gaze always wandered back to Hermione's peaceful face, the content half-smile creating a dimple in her rosy cheeks and the small snowflakes clinging tenaciously to her lashes.
"Hermione?"
"Hmmm?"
He smiled and bent close to her ear, letting the words dance into her ear with playful accuracy. "We're here."
The content instantly dissolved into a look of eager excitement; she sat up and opened her eyes, which immediately widened in delight. She grabbed his arm and laughed.
"You knew! How on earth did you know?"
"Lucky guess," he said honestly, grinning as she kissed him swiftly on the cheek, "but I see I guessed right."
She laughed as a small boy approached the sleigh, rubbing his small mittens together and questioning, "A Christmas tree for you and your wife, sir?"
A flush of pleasure rose to Hermione's cheeks at the word 'wife'-or, Hermione reflected with a slight smile, perhaps it was the fact that Harry didn't bother to correct him.
"Yes, thanks," Harry said, tugging at Hermione's hand, "come on, Hermione. I'll let you pick."
She laughed again and hurried out of the sleigh, pulling him along behind her.
"The children are going to be so thrilled!"
~*~
"How did it go?" Hermione whispered anxiously, peering at the two babysitters in the dim candlelight and trying, as subtly as she could, to detect any outward signs of alteration. "Did they behave?"
"Perfectly," Penelope assured her, smiling, "We read the girls a book, Percy played cards with the boys, and they've all gone to bed."
"Oh, don't look so disappointed," Hermione said exasperatedly, lightly whacking Harry on the shoulder, "I'm glad."
Harry smirked. "Percy, you're officially the only member of the Weasley family-excepting, of course, your mum-to escape the house without a complete makeover."
"Did you have a good time?" Penelope asked. Hermione smiled softly.
"We had a lovely time," she said, smiling, "thank you again for watching the children."
"It was our pleasure. They're such well-behaved children; it was no trouble at all." Penelope took Percy's arm, "Shall we go, Perce?"
"So we shall, Penny," Percy said, patting her hand, "We'll leave you two now-let us know if there's anything we can do to help with the wedding."
"Thanks," Harry said, shaking Percy's hand, "Have a good night."
"You too."
Hermione shut the door behind them as they stepped out onto the porch.
"The tree should be in the living room, if I did the spell right," Harry said, "Let's hope I did."
"I'm sure you did," Hermione said, tugging off her gloves and leading the way to the living room. "We hardly use this room at all; it's a wonder we remembered where it was."
They walked past the staircase into the rarely used living room, where the tree stood waiting and bundled up. Harry opened the stand they had bought from the vendors and managed to set the tree up, while Hermione took out her wand and began to decorate the tree.
Having set the tree up properly, Harry stood back at a distance and watched Hermione decorate. Tiny, twinkling little lights flew out of the tip of Hermione's wand and hovered about the tree's boughs like stars; red and white velvet ribbons wound around it and sprouted dozens of silver bells. Hermione's wand flourished in the air, and suddenly, several tiny white Christmas lilies sprouted around the tree, adding a soft touch to the twinkling tree.
"It's missing something," Harry said softly, and Hermione smiled.
"Wait here," she said, then she hurried out of the room, her cheeks flushed with excitement.
Harry came closer to the tree, touching one of the lilies with a finger.
He knew Hermione too well to think that the lilies had been a casual addition. She knew what the flower meant to him-and had somehow let him know what it meant to her.
"Here, I-Harry?" She came near to him and touched his shoulder. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah," he said, looking at her with slightly moist eyes, "just admiring your flower choice."
She bit her lip and looked down.
"Does it bother you?" she asked, rather anxiously, "I can take it down, you know. I just… I thought-I wanted to remember her. What she did for you, for me-for all of us. And not just her-your father, Fred, Dora, Remus… everyone who made this possible."
He took a step back and put his arm around her.
"I think it's brilliant," he said quietly, "thanks, Hermione."
She smiled, twisting her head around and kissing him. "Look."
She held up a simple paper star splashed with gold glitter and red and green beads. "Jackie made it."
She raised her wand and gave it a quick wave. The star fluttered in her hand; then, extending its arms like tiny wings, it flew to the top of the tree, fastening itself to the very tip.
Harry smiled, pulling her closer to him. He looked at the humble handmade creation crowning the Christmas tree dusted with magic and let out a long, content sigh.
"Yeah. That's about right."
~*~
"Anyway, you're more or less legends at Hogwarts now, you and Harry and Ron," Ginny dipped a finger into the bowl of frosting and tasted it, licking her lips appreciatively, "good frosting, Jack-Jack."
Jackie beamed. "Thank you!"
Hermione transferred the last reindeer from the cookie sheet onto the wax paper placed out on the counter. "I can't imagine we're as legendary as you and Neville are now, at least at Hogwarts."
Ginny snorted. "Seriously, Hermione. You three were out there- no teachers or anything to fall back on. We had McGonagall and Flitwick and the others."
"Nevertheless- Jackie, careful with the sprinkles- you were leaders. Leaders that I imagine the students needed."
Ginny pinched a bit of cookie dough from the bowl and popped it into her mouth. She paused, then said- with a rather odd look on her face- "It was mostly Neville."
"Ginny Weasley, I do believe you're being humble!" Hermione said with mock shock. Ginny scowled.
"Just honest, Hermione," was all she said, as she began to roll out another batch of sugar cookies, "do you really think your parents are going to appreciate these?"
"They can handle the horror," Hermione said dismissively, "the children's teeth are perfect, thank you very much. Well, excepting Dusty's, though I'm fairly certain that getting that crooked tooth adjusted won't be difficult."
"He probably won't have to trick the school nurse into doing it for him," Ginny said pointedly.
Hermione chose to ignore the comment by sliding a plate of cookies directly in front of Ginny. "Here, take those home to your mum. Jackie made the Christmas tree for her especially."
"That was sweet," Ginny said, studying the Christmas tree with a smile. "Thanks, Jackie."
"You're welcome," Jackie said absently, spreading red frosting across a cookie star. "Hermione, I need more red frosting."
"How do you ask?"
"Please can I have more frosting?" Jackie amended, holding out the bowl.
"Yes, you may," Hermione said, taking the bowl and putting measures of confectioner's sugar, cream cheese, and red food coloring into the bowl. "Here, why don't you mix that up?"
Jackie took to mixing the frosting with gusto. "Look at the swirls it makes!"
Moments later, the front door swung open. Gulliver was heard bounding down the stairs, giving one loud bark of welcome, and Jackie dropped the spoon into the bowl, jumping off the stool. "Harry's back!"
"Jackie, don't drop the--" Hermione managed to steady the teetering bowl of frosting just before it fell from the edge of the counter. As she did, a very ruddy Harry and Yasmine came trooping into the kitchen, peeling off their coats and gloves and scattering them unceremoniously across the kitchen table.
"Honestly, you two," Hermione scolded, "where do those go?"
"Good to see you, too," Harry said cheerfully, collecting the articles of clothing obediently and grinning at her, "Hey, Ginny, I didn't know you were here."
"Excellent!" Jack, Adrian, and Ben were heard whooping at once from behind Harry.
"We needed another person for our snowball fight!" Adrian said, popping his head in the doorway of the kitchen, "Come on, Harry!"
"It wasn't fair with just three of us," Ben said, with a pointed look at Jack. Jack shrugged.
"You got the tree fort and we built our own," Jack said, slapping a high five with Adrian. Ben's face flushed slightly, and an oddly irritated look crossed his face. Briefly Hermione wondered if that look ought to concern her. Upon further reflection, she decided to let it go. Surely it was simple irritation. It would go away once the second snow fight started.
"Remember to wear your scarves, boys," she reminded them as they all hurried out of the kitchen, "and be safe!"
"Safe?" Ginny scoffed. "What's fun about a snowball fight if there isn't a bit of risk?"
Hermione gave her a warning look.
"The risk of being hit by a snowball on the shoulder or chest is quite different from the risk of ending up with a broken skull."
As Hermione finished her sentence, Harry and all seven of the children paraded through the kitchen and hurried out the back door. Moments later, shouts and yells filled the yard, filtering through the window.
"What were Harry and Yaz doing, anyway?" Ginny asked as Hermione glanced out the kitchen window, watching the boys battle each other with flying white missiles. The girls busied themselves with snow angels and snowforts on the other side of the yard.
"They went Christmas shopping. Harry and I have been taking each of them out separately so that they can purchase gifts for each other."
"That's a lot of gifts," Ginny remarked. Hermione looked surprised.
"I thought your family would..."
"Well, we each got a sweater every Christmas, a box of sweets, and then our parents got the whole family a gift. We didn't often buy gifts for each person in our family."
Hermione looked thoughtful.
"I assigned each of the kids another person in the family that they were responsible for. Harry and I are getting them each a gift- he wanted to shop for the girls, and I'm shopping for the boys. I'm filling the stockings. And my parents are probably going to give the whole family a gift."
Ginny smiled.
"Lucky kids," she said, with unusual gentleness, "you're doing something really good, Hermione, taking them in like this."
"Thank you, Ginny, but you're giving me too much credit. It was an impulsive decision- I only realized what I was doing after I had offered."
Hermione leaned against the counter, hugging herself with one arm and pressing one floury hand against her cheek, smiling at the backyard with a contentedness that made Ginny feel as though she were in the presence of someone much older than herself.
"When I was at Hogwarts," Hermione began after a long pause, "if you had asked me what I wanted for the future, I would have said-- a successful career in something important and relevant. Perhaps-- law or defense or research."
She looked down, fiddling with her engagement ring.
"All Harry wanted was for the ones he loved to be safe and happy- and I think-- though he'd never admit it to me or anyone during the war-- he wanted to be a part of that. A family."
She sighed, her shoulders dropping and her soft smile lingering on her lips.
"And lately I've started to wonder if-- maybe-- Harry was right."
~*~
"Duck!" Adrian howled, as several snowballs sailed past him. Jack crouched obediently behind their snowy fortress, clutching several snowballs in his fists. "Missed me!"
Jack grinned, handing him another snowball. "Here, get Harry-- I've got Ben."
Harry ducked, his hands over his head as the snowball flew over his head. Ben, however, toppled to his back with a grunt. Jack's snowball had hit its mark. Harry pulled him up good-naturedly.
"All right, mate?"
Ben didn't say a word; his narrowed blue eyes were fixed on Jack and Adrian, who were slapping high-fives and laughing. His lips thinned as he nodded slowly, taking several snowballs from the stack. He stood up, drawing back his arm and pelting the two wildly with his ammunition.
Not one snowball hit its target.
When the two other boys merely stared at him, puzzlement mingling with their smiles, Ben kicked over the snowfort and stormed into the house, his angry face turned toward the ground.
"What's with him?" Jack said, looking at Adrian. Adrian shook his head, looking troubled.
"I don't know."
"Hello, Ben," Hermione said in surprise as he opened the kitchen door, "is the snowball fight--"
"It's over," Ben muttered as he stalked out of the kitchen, his scarf askew. Hermione glanced at Ginny, who shook her head in puzzlement.
"Just one moment," Hermione excused herself and hurried after Ben. Just as she reached the foyer, the front door slammed shut. Biting her lip in concern, Hermione opened the door and gazed out on the porch. Ben sat on the front steps, his elbows on his knees and face buried in his hands. His shoulders shook as he sniffled and curled up tighter, obviously wishing to be left alone.
"Ben?" Hermione closed the front door behind her and took a seat beside him on the porch steps. "Are you all right?"
"I'm-- I'm fine," he mumbled with a hiccup, scrubbing at his eyes, "I'm not hurt or anything, if that's what you're wondering."
She wet her lips and sighed.
"What happened?" she asked quietly. He hiccupped again and shuddered.
"Nothing happened, really, I just... it's only..." he sniffed again and scrubbed his face with his mittens, "Nothing happened."
She let out a breath and nodded.
"All right," she said patiently, "if you say so."
He looked up, staring at the snowy landscape and blinking quickly. The red flush on his cheeks had drained away, and he shivered. Concerned, Hermione slid an arm around him and pulled him close, rubbing his shoulder with a hand.
"It's... it's just that I thought Adrian and I would be like we were before," he blurted at long last, looking away, "you know-- close, like we were. But since I've come back, he's-- it seems like Adrian likes Jack more. They're always on the same team for snowball fights, and we never play Monopoly anymore. All they do is play chess. And they've worked out a secret handshake and they won't let me in on it, and they're always playing games off by themselves and they don't invite me unless I ask-- nothing's the same and I-- I'm..."
Hermione rested her cheek in his hair and completed the sentence quietly.
"You're lonely."
He trembled, obviously fighting back tears and refusing to look at her, his eyes averted in embarrassment. Hermione squeezed him gently as he gave in and cried into her shoulder.
"Adrian and Jack have become good friends," she said after a while, "but Adrian still loves you. I promise. You're not being replaced by any means. There's only one of you, and Adrian knows that."
He looked up, his eyes tinged with red and, Hermione noticed with relief, assurance. He hesitated, then said, "Is it true? What Adrian wrote me about?"
He put his mittens on his knees and stared determinedly away.
"You're going to adopt us?"
"If-- and only if-- you agree." Hermione touched his hand. "I'm not going to force any of you. Jack hasn't given us an answer yet either."
There was a silence, then she added, "And I'm not going to ask you to call me `Mum' or call Harry `Dad'. The adoption will give us the permission to assume guardianship of you and nothing more, if that's the way you want it to be."
Ben pulled off his mittens and clasped his hands together, his brows lowering over his eyes in thought. Hermione was just about to tell him that she would let him think about it when he said, "I stopped calling my father `Dad' when I was five."
He let out a long breath and rested his elbows on his knees again, leaning his chin in his hand.
"I didn't think he deserved it." He stopped and suddenly turned a fierce gaze on Hermione. Taken aback, she pulled away slightly, locking her gaze upon his. "You're not to tell Adrian this, all right? He doesn't need to know; I don't want him to know."
"Ben--"
"If he ever asks me, I'll tell him. But it has to be me to tell him," he said forcefully, "Do you promise?"
"Ben--"
"Please, Hermione," he implored, his voice wavering upon her name, "please, you've got to."
"I-- I promise," she whispered, and his face relaxed visibly.
"You... you can tell Harry, if you like," he said softly, "but no one else. I trust you and Harry to keep it secret. I don't want the others to know, but I suppose you ought to, and since you're getting married-- I don't think you should keep it a secret from him."
He drew up his knees and hugged them, taking a deep breath and letting it slide out of him in a soft hiss. "I think I always lived with my mum and my grandfather and... my father in that house. That's the only place me and Adrian ever remember living. My mum... she was beautiful, with golden hair and eyes like mine, but she fell ill after Adrian was born and never got better. Sometimes I wonder if I imagined the way she used to be before she... became the way she was. She couldn't ever see how bad things were at home. We didn't have enough money to fetch a doctor, and my grandfather did his best, but Grandfather... he wasn't quite... right. He always told us about wizards and witches and magic, but... that's all he seemed to remember, after a while. And he would mix up these awful things he said would make Mum better, but I know now that it made it worse. They weren't potions. I've seen you make them with Healer Pruitt."
He shuddered and closed his eyes, pulling his arm away and letting his chin drop on his knees. "I think Grandfather remembered something. But there was a blank in his mind somewhere, as if someone-- something-- had taken a sponge and wiped something clean. But I trusted him; he was a grown-up and I wasn't. I didn't know to stop him. And my father--" his lips tightened, "the only time my father ever came home was when he wanted money."
Suddenly tears welled up in Ben's eyes and his trembling increased. He looked up into Hermione's eyes and choked, "I knew we needed money, so I took Adrian to the farmhouses every week so that we could work. We chopped firewood and washed dishes and sometimes weeded the garden, and when we left, the boys who lived there would give us food that they had saved for us. That's the only thing my father let us keep was the food; if I tried to keep the money by hiding it, he would take me outside pretending that we were going on a walk. Thenhe said that if it wasn't for the money we made-- and there wasn't much of it-- he could kill me and if I hid it again, he would-- and I couldn't fight him and he'd beat me if I cried and sometimes he beat me anyway and we would go inside and he would laugh and pat Adrian on the head and leave and my mother would just smile and I... I just..."
Hermione gathered Ben up in her arms, holding him close and tight and rocking him back and forth as he sobbed, tears streaming down his face and soaking her coat.
"Ben... oh, Ben..." was all Hermione could say in an agonized whisper as he clung to her tightly, "oh, Ben..."
"I know you'd never hurt me, I know you wouldn't, but I'm still so afraid!" The words came out broken and raw and gutteral. "Because I ran and I... he'd always find me if I ran, he'd always find me, and then he'd--"
"Ben, Ben-- Ben, listen to me!" Hermione took his face firmly in her hands, fixing her eyes upon his, desperately trying to draw him out of the hysteria he seemed to have worked himself into, "He's not coming back. He can't hurt you anymore. He's gone. Do you understand me?"
She wrapped her arms around him tightly, rocking him back and forth.
"You're with me and I love you. Do you hear me, Ben? I love you. I love you. I would do anything to keep you safe. " She kissed his forehead and whispered directly into his ear, "Listen. Listen to me."
He leaned his cheek against her neck, still sobbing breathlessly into her shoulder and gripping her tightly with his arms.
"There is nothing-- absolutely nothing-- that you can do or say that is going to make me stop loving you and protecting you. Nothing. Do you understand, Ben? There's nothing you have to do to make me love you, and there's nothing you can do that will make me stop. And Adrian can say the exact same thing. This entire family would say the exact same thing."
She stroked his hair and rested her chin in his hair, rocking him slowly back and forth and repeating the same thing over and over again. "There's nothing you have to do to make me love you, and there's nothing you can do that will make me stop."
Gradually, his tears subsided and he merely held onto her, his eyes closed and his embrace tight. Hermione stroked his back and quickly wiped her eyes, still holding him close. Several minutes passed before Ben spoke again, in a thick, shaky voice.
"I... thank you, Hermione."
He squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in her shoulder. Before she could reply, he mumbled-- so tremulously she almost missed it-- "Mama."
And suddenly, Hermione couldn't say anything. He looked up, his eyes intensely fearful once more, waiting for confirmation. She bent her head and kissed his forehead, her arms still encircling him unwaveringly.
"I know I shouldn't have-- I didn't mean to--" Ben fumbled in a quivering voice. "I don't know why I..."
"Shh," she said very quietly, putting a hand on the back of his head, "it's all right."
He closed his eyes.
"We can go inside now, Mama," he murmured, and for the first time, Hermione recognized, his voice was truly peaceful.
A/N (2): To say this chapter took an unexpected turn is possibly the largest understatement you could make. I had created Ben's history long before this-there are hints of it in previous chapters-but was I planning on revealing it? No. Not really. Not at all. If it appears Ben's character moved too quickly, I would love to know. I'm still learning. Anyway, thank you very much for sticking it out, and I hope you found something you enjoyed. Happy New Year to all!
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