Chapter 8 - Heartbreak Warfare
By the end of the second day of my breakup with Ron I'm as angry with him as he is with Harry and me. Thanks to his little spat he, Harry and I are the only subject of gossip, whispering behind hands, and giggling as I can stand. Not only are people not bothering to hide what they're saying, they've begun to take sides, usually with Ron. I can handle this because frankly I'm on his side too. I'm the one who let another man go down on me in my study while I was still dating Ron, but none of them know that. Even Ron doesn't know it; he just suspects something is going on. The fact that he's right is the only thing that keeps me from telling him off.
Still, I feel I have the right to be angry too. He had no right to transmit our business to the common room at large with his stunt. I know he acted out of anger, rather than reason, but it was a stupid move on his part.
Then there's Ginny. She's claimed to move on (she has a boyfriend, after all), but she treats me as though she and Harry were an established couple and then I took him from her, which is not the case. Harry made it clear to her from the beginning that he didn't want to reconcile. I can understand her anger with me over her brother, but…I miss her. I miss Ron, I miss Ginny, and I just wish I could travel back in time and do it all over. I can't, though. I can't have Harry and them, and knowing that hurts.
Harry…I can't help it that I love him. Despite how poorly we've handled things, I still can't bring myself to regret my feelings for him. They go beyond the physical into something that, for me, is so deeply emotional it's almost spiritual. I love him with my heart and soul. I always have. He's damaged. He's good. He's lost so much in his life and I know that it's time he finally got something he wanted. What he wants is me. Knowing that makes me stupidly happy.
"Have you seen this?"
Ginny slaps the Evening Prophet on the table beside my plate. I look at the picture in the gossip section, which is written by none other than Rita Skeeter, and inwardly groan. There's a photograph of Harry, Ron and me standing at the exit to Hogwarts watching Voldemort's body as it's levitated out by the Ministry. I don't remember that photograph being taken, but I do remember the moment. Harry and I take one another's hands while Ron stands a short distance away, watching Voldemort. The headline is atrocious.
TROUBLE WITH THE GOLDEN THREE
By Rita Skeeter
Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ronald Weasley are famous around the wizarding world for playing a key role in bringing about the demise of the Darkest wizard the world has ever known: Lord Voldemort. The three of them have returned to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in order to properly complete their education, but more is going on between them than revising for NEWTS.
Reliable sources inside Hogwarts have informed me that a love triangle has formed between the three, who are commonly referred to as The Golden Three. According to sources Ronald Weasley has discovered that his girlfriend, Hermione Granger, has been engaging in an illicit affair with Harry Potter, the Chosen One.
I put the paper aside, unwilling to read another word. "Rubbish," I say. "Ron has discovered no such thing!"
"So you deny that anything's happened between you and Harry?"
"Yes, I deny it. Even if it has, what business would it be of yours, Ginny? It's not like Harry is your boyfriend."
Ginny's face flushes. I'm sure she's going to go for her wand, and I'm ready to go for mine. I'm immediately sorry I lost my temper with her, but it doesn't go that far. Wands stay put, no curses or hexes fly.
"Ron is my brother," she says tightly. "You've hurt him."
"I didn't mean to! Would you rather I lied to him? Don't you think that would have hurt him worse in the long run?"
"I'd rather you admit that you're a lying hypocrite. He's better off without you."
Ginny storms off, and I look around to see the immediate area is completely quiet while everyone stares at me with mean-spirited glee in their eyes. Great, more fodder for their gossip.
"Get on with your dinner! There's nothing to see here."
I grab my bag and leave. My appetite is long gone.
***
Usually a hot bath is just what I need to soothe away the stress of a really bad day, but this time it's not helping. My head throbs. By the time I've dressed for bed I have a full migraine.
The next morning Harry takes a seat across from me at breakfast. Ron and Ginny have segregated themselves at the end of the table, surrounded by their supporters.
"What a nightmare all this is," I say miserably.
Harry's leg touches mine under the table. It's unseen but comforting.
Harry says, "Sorry I didn't see you yesterday. I was tutoring some fifth years in patronuses. What do you say we revise tonight in your study?"
There's something playful in Harry's green eyes when he says this. I know that studying is the last thing on his mind, and I feel some relief. We hadn't touched in so long. We haven't been alone in so long that I was beginning to wonder if anything that had happened between us was even real, and not one of my vivid dreams.
"Yeah, okay."
"Tonight at eight," he says quietly. "We can't let anyone know. Things are bad enough as it is, and we'll never get Ron and Ginny's friendship back if-"
"I know. I agree. We'll keep this secret."
"For now," he says, and smiles.
We go to classes all that day pretending to be just friends. There's no touching, no lingering looks, nothing that would give anyone reason to believe that the rumors about us seeing one another are true. After lunch I head off for a tutoring session and pass Harry in the hall.
"I can't wait," he says softly. His fingers brush against my hand, and I want nothing more than to drag him into a dark room and press myself against him. I want his arms around me more than anything.
Eight o'clock seems to take forever to arrive. At 7:30 I've bathed and used my favorite shampoo. I search through my dresser and realize that I need some naughty knickers. Honestly, it's ridiculous. Every pair I own could belong to my mother and meet with her approval of being decent. Big knickers. That's all I have are big ugly knickers. I try some creative stitching spells and only manage to mangle a pair beyond repair so I give up and decide not to wear any at all. I hope Harry doesn't find that too forward.
I laugh immediately. Harry and I are far beyond being too forward. We haven't been forward enough in my opinion. We won't have to worry about that now. I'm free, he's free, we can do whatever we want.
I feel naked when I leave the common room. I've never worn a skirt and no knickers before. It's awkward. I vow I'll put the entire common room in detention with the grossest, most difficult tasks possible with Hagrid and Mr. Filch if one of them attempts any kind of levitating hexes on me. Not that any of them are stupid enough to attack the Head Girl who also assisted in bringing down Voldemort himself.
It's difficult not to run to my study. I wonder what I'll do first when I get there. I think I'll throw my books aside and rush into Harry's arms. I'll put my legs around his waist and grind hard into him while I tongue kiss him.
Perhaps I'll set my books down and then perch primly on his lap. I could draw things out, make it fun. I can drive him mad until he throws me down on the floor and has his way with me. Anything is fine with me as long as I can feel Harry's hands on my body.
"Victorious," I say to the gargoyle that guards my door. He releases the door handle and moves aside so that I can enter.
I nearly scream in frustration when I hear Ron's voice, even before I see him.
"-been a right twat about the whole thing. I hope she can forgive me."
"What are you doing here?" I demand angrily, throwing my books onto the table beside the door.
Harry doesn't look too pleased with Ron's unexpected presence either. Ron holds a dozen pink roses that look more suited to Madame Maxime's grasp than mine. He undoubtedly took them from Hagrid's garden.
"Hermione. I saw Harry in the hall and he said you two were supposed to do some revising for potions class. I thought I'd take the time to come in and-"
"You came here to see if you could catch Harry and me in the act," I say. I know his real reasons for being here.
There's an unmistakably malicious glint in Ron's blue eyes. "You do look awfully disappointed to see me. For someone who only plans to revise, I mean."
"Of course I'm disappointed to see you, Ron! Why would I want you here after the way you acted the other night?"
I'm randy, damn it, and I had plans to have Harry's cock in my mouth. I don't say that, though, but it's the real reason I'm so damned angry.
"Hermione," Harry begins, but I'm not going to let him excuse Ron's stunt. Not a second time.
"Thanks to you we're in the gossip column of the Evening Prophet!"
"I came to apologize," he says, holding up the roses. "The only girl I've ever really loved had just finished with me. I was angry and I did something stupid. I'm sorry."
But I want to be naked and skin on skin with Harry…
He looks pitiful. I'm still not sure how genuine his remorse is. I know Ron. I'm convinced he's trying to keep Harry and me from ever being alone. He'll probably invent some excuse to monopolize our time, and we won't have a good reason to say no if Harry and I are trying to convince him that nothing is happening between us. Harry gives me a look that I know means I should accept the flowers, so I do.
"Forgive me?" Ron asks.
"I'm still upset with what you did but…yes, I forgive you."
I can only imagine how upset he would be if he'd seen my behavior with Harry just prior to our breakup. He's been a good friend to me for eight years, I owe him this much. I grab an empty vase, enlarge it and fill it with water from my wand, and then set them on the shelf behind my desk. Ron settles down and grabs his bag, pulling out his potions book.
"So, what do we study tonight?" Ron says brightly.
"Hallucinogenic potions and their antidotes," I say dully, and crack open my book with a heavy sigh.