A/N: I love all of your reviews so much! Please keep it up, they're the fuel for my writing fire!
"No matter how many times I get hurt because of you, I won't leave you. Because even if I have a
hundred reasons to leave you, I'll look for that one reason to fight for you."
-Anonymous
Chapter Ten - Tears and Fears and a Fight
Harry whistled as he packed up to head back to Hogwarts. He opened up his top secret drawer to grab the papers so he could put them in his bag. They would end up in a similar drawer in the desk in his room. He froze as a breach indicator went off when his hand passed the ward covering the drawer.
Someone had been in it.
He didn't know how and he didn't know when (having not opened it the whole time since coming home for the holidays), but someone had gotten in. He frantically flipped through the papers, making sure they were all still there. They were all either vital for his future happiness (having spent hours thinking what he should put on them) or very important and special to him.
Who could've possibly gotten in?
Everything clicked immediately. Who was the person who didn't have (possible) access to his room until last night, was of age and could therefore do magic, and would be curious (and bold) enough to go through his things?
His mum, of course. She finally found out what his password was after weaseling the name of the love of his life out of him! And she said that teenagers deserve their privacy, but honestly, what mother could resist opening a drawer in her son's room marked 'TOP SECRET'? Harry shook his head with a small smile on his face because quite honestly, he had been expecting that to happen. And he was alright with his mum seeing it as long as she didn't take anything. Actually, the drawer itself should've read 'TOP SECRET FROM HERMIONE GRANGER'. Because if she somehow ever got into it and saw the contents, he might actually be truly angry at her for the first time in his life.
"Harry!" called James from downstairs. "Aurora! You guys ready to go?"
"Coming!" they called back simultaneously. Harry put the papers in his trunk, closed the lid, grabbed Hedwig, and headed downstairs, where the rest of the family was waiting to apparate to King's Cross. Miranda was already crying, and detached herself from their mum's leg to go hug Harry hard. Harry smiled and sighed at the same time before apparating right onto Platform 9¾, his family arriving right beside him.
He hugged Miranda and told her to be good before asking her to let go because he had to leave. Things turned ugly when she refused to let go and Lily had to use a muscle-relaxing and soothing charm to pry her off. He hugged Daniel and his Father before asking his mother if he could have a word with her. They stepped aside and his mum (being a mum) immediately asked, "Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine," said Harry, a grin on his face. "Just wondering if you knew I had a detection ward on my 'TOP SECRET' drawer."
"What drawer?" Lily asked in return, confused.
"Oh, feigning ignorance?" he asked. Then he shrugged. "I don't really care that you saw it though." He gave her a hug before she could form her confused thoughts into words. "Bye mum. See you at graduation."
It wasn't until he was on the train that she absentmindedly muttered, "Yeah. See you at your graduation."
***LFLS***
After arriving back at school, most of Harry's day was spent setting the Great Hall up for the ball taking place the following day. Dinner that night was eaten in the individual common rooms, Dumbledore wanting the students attending said Ball to be amazed and surprised. After dinner, Harry made sure his muggle suit was hanging up properly (just because he was going stag didn't mean he didn't want to look good…) before checking how his breath smelled and heading out for his midnight patrol with Hermione.
But when he got out Hermione was slouched in a chair, eyes closed and open book perched precariously on her lap. She had a hint of a smile on her face and muttered something that sounded a bit like his name as she shifted around a little.
Harry took a good look at her before heading out of the common room to patrol on his own. There was just no way Harry could bring himself to wake her up-she just looked so peaceful and content. And not to mention the fact that she needed all the sleep that she could get now that it was the other side of Winter Break. NEWTs were approaching fast and Harry had no doubt in his mind that Hermione would be getting an inadequate amount of sleep due to excessive studying for the next six months.
He was just doing one quick sweep of the castle anyway considering the fact that only about half of the students were currently in the castle. There was really nothing interesting to speak for most of the patrol until he passed the girls' prefects' bathroom that was closest to Gryffindor Tower, where he heard the sound of a girl crying…bawling, really.
He stopped at the door, intrigued. He was supposed to notify the headmistress and give multiple detentions to whoever was out of bed after curfew, but he figured if a girl just wanted to get away from everyone to cry that she should be able to. He decided he would be a gentleman and wait for the girl to finish crying to escort her back to the common room, so he sat down next to the door and got ready to wait for a little while.
He had only been sitting there for a short time, though, when a sudden thought hit him.
This crying sounds awfully familiar.
The last time he had heard crying identical to this was when he was fourteen. Aurora had been riding their dad's broom to try to get the hang of flying when she had fallen off and broken her leg.
"Aurora?" Harry asked himself slowly before bolting up to his feet and barging into the bathroom.
There was a hunched (and fully clothed except for the feet) figure sitting at the edge of the full, giant bath, feet in the water, shoulders shaking with each sob. She hadn't even looked up when he barged in, yet he could still recognize his sister's profile.
Without even thinking twice, Harry slipped off his shoes and socks and sat next to his sister. She looked over at him in shock, her tears stopping for just a moment. "What are you doing here?" she asked with a hoarse voice. "This is a girl's bathroom."
"I could ask you the same," he said quietly, but with no maliciousness. "This is a prefect's bathroom."
"Hermione gave me the password," she replied. "Said I was going to be a prefect next year anyway."
They fell into silence after that, Aurora looking miserable and Harry not knowing how to comfort her. He finally just resorted to asking, "What happened?"
With that, Aurora's bottom lip started trembling before she burst into tears again. Harry tentatively reached over and rubbed her back a little awkwardly. Aurora immediately threw her arms around him and cried into his shoulder, staining his shirt with her salty tears. Harry hugged her back, holding her tight. Despite their differences and how they acted toward each other, Harry loved his little sister and knew she loved him. Plus, he was an older brother, which meant that he was supposed to help and protect his younger siblings, and his sister was obviously distressed.
He held her and let cry until she was completely out of tears, only reduced to shuddering breaths. She pulled back and wiped her eyes with her hands, sniffling. "Sorry," she said shakily.
"Don't apologize," he said. "I don't mind."
"I feel like such a fool for crying," she said after that, revealing more vulnerability to Harry.
Harry sighed and adjusted his sitting position a bit so he could be more comfortable. He opened his mouth a few times to say something, only to close when he realized it wasn't the message he wanted to convey. He finally said, "Never be ashamed to cry. Tears…they're meant to cleanse the soul. They may not change whatever situation you're in, but they really do help."
Aurora gave him a watery smile. "You're right," she said. "Thanks, Harry."
They sat in a comfortable silence for a while after that, just listening to the gentle sounds of the bathwater lapping against the walls of the tub. Even with so little speaking, they had definitely bonded a little more just now and Harry was happy for it. He glanced over at his sister repeatedly and noticed that she was maybe the saddest he had ever seen her, her shoulders hunched, a frown on her face, and eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she stared pensively down at the water. Harry hated to see her like that-he wished he could just take the brunt of the emotional pain for her.
"Why…" she began, then seemed to change her mind.
Harry knew what she was going to ask, of course. And he had no problem answering her. "Because I love you," he said honestly.
Aurora slowly looked up at him, vulnerability shining like beacons through her eyes. Depending on the answer to her next question, Harry knew that he could make or break her. "Really?" she asked defensively. "Because all you seem to like to do to me is tease and prank me."
Harry looked down at his lap in shame, unable to meet his sister's eyes. He softly said, "I know…I-I'm not the best older brother to you and it's fun to tease you and all that, but…you're my sister. You're a good person, a sweet girl. You deserve better than me as a brother." Aurora made a move to say something-probably correct that last statement, but Harry wouldn't have it. "It's true, and I really do feel bad for it. This thing with Hermione-I know you don't want me bothering her or anything, and I understand. I've been an arrogant, selfish prat. But even if she never returns my feelings, she's already made me a better person. I can see now how I was, and how I could be. And I realize I want to be the 'how I could be' person. So I'm going to say this. I'm sorry, Aurora, I'm so sorry. I should've been a better older brother, paid more attention to you. I should've always been there for you. I can't change the past, but I can change myself for a better future and a better relationship with you. Because despite everything that's happened, I love you. I love who you are as a person, and I love the person I know you'll grow up to be."
Aurora's mouth slowly turned up into a radiant smile and she hugged him, crying onto his shoulder again. "Oh, geez," he said, a little embarrassed. "Please tell me those are happy tears."
"Of course they are, you prat," said Aurora, detaching herself from him again. Then she got more serious and with a small smile said, "I love you too, you know. And…" she said, starting to blush. "I've always wanted to hear you say you loved me too."
Harry's heart clenched painfully in his chest and his eyes got a little moist as he realized just how bad of a brother he'd been to have never told his sister he loved her. "So…" he began, clearing his throat unnecessarily. "Why are you crying in here?" he asked.
For a second Aurora looked like she was going to break down again, but collected herself at the last second. "Well…Andrew broke up with me."
Harry's eye twitched. "What?" he asked. "You had a boyfriend? You're barely even fifteen years old, and if this is the Andrew I think you're talking about, he's a year above and a year older than you!"
Aurora adopted her stern look, daring him to try to parent her again. "Just because you've never been in a relationship doesn't mean I can't. The reason I didn't tell you was because I thought it would result in more teasing. But long story short, we had been going out for six months and he broke up with me after we got off the train."
"Why?" he asked, wanting even more reason to pummel Andrew to bits for hurting his sister.
"Because I wouldn't have sex with him," she said, being straightforward.
Harry's heart swelled with pride that she had made the right decision while his murderous intent towards Andrew simultaneously expanded. Harry was taking short breaths, beginning to hyperventilate out of rage. He held it back though, bottling it so it could be released on the perpetrator. "Well…I'm glad you made the right decision," said Harry.
"Was it the right decision, though?" asked Aurora. "It only resulted in a lot of pain for me."
"Of course it was the right decision," said Harry adamantly. "You're so young. Save yourself for someone you're truly in love with. That way your first time will be special and you'll always remember it as something good. Not to mention the fact that you don't learn the contraceptive spell until seventh year. Imagine what would've happened if you would've gotten pregnant!"
"You're right," she said. Then quickly added, "Not that I didn't know the contraceptive spell, of course. But you were right about the being in love thing. I wasn't even close to being at that stage with Andrew."
"You realize he's going to die, right?" asked Harry, a maniacal grin on his face.
Aurora laughed. "I don't want you to go to Azkaban or be expelled, so could you just limit it to a thorough beating?" she asked humorously.
Harry gave a dramatic sigh. "If that's what you want, I guess so…"
"Harry?" said Aurora a bit hesitantly.
"Yeah?" he asked in return.
"I-I'm sorry for making it so hard for you with Hermione," she said.
"It's alright," he said. "It was just your easiest way to get back at me."
"For the record, though," she said. "I think she's in love with you. She's just in denial."
Harry thought long and hard about what his sister said before shaking his head. "I don't think she's in love with me. I think she's in love with the person I could be…the person I'm trying to be. I know she's flattered that someone's so infatuated with her, she's just disappointed that it's not her dream guy," he said thoughtfully and honestly.
"You are her dream guy," said Aurora. "You changed your personality to match her fantasy. She just hasn't noticed yet. And when you're sweet and caring, she gets the look on her face that you always get whenever you look at or talk about her. You're almost there."
"Hopefully," said Harry. "She can be so stubborn sometimes."
"Sometimes?" said Aurora with mirth in her voice. "She's even more stubborn than I am."
Silence fell over them once again before Aurora sighed and said, "I wish I could've worn that dress, though."
"What dress?" asked Harry.
"Oh, the dress mum bought me for the ball tomorrow night," she said morosely.
"You mean…you're not going?" asked Harry, shocked. She had been excited to go since it had first been announced.
"I would love to go, but…now that I have no date…" she trailed off.
"That's no reason not to go!" Harry said with a fiery determination. "That's playing exactly into Andrew's hands! It shows that you're weak, and I know for a fact that you are a strong, independent young woman."
"I know that," she said with little conviction and a small smile on her face. "But I'm Aurora Potter, not Harry Potter. I'm not cool enough to go to a party without a date, especially when my only friend is going to be with one."
"Well, you know, if you still wanted to go, you could always go with me," Harry said.
Aurora looked at him weird. "You're my brother…" she said slowly.
"Just because you go to a dance with someone doesn't have to mean you're on a date with them," said Harry.
"I'll just cramp your style," said Aurora sadly.
"Aurora," said Harry. "It's my 'style' that I'm trying to get rid of anyway. Besides, I'm sure if you're seen with me you'll be asked to dance in no time."
Aurora gave him a watery smile. "You're sure I can go with you?"
"Absolutely," Harry replied.
The two sat there for a while more, bonding as siblings until Harry decided they should go to bed to be ready for their big day.
The next morning Harry woke up a little later than normal, having gone to bed at 2:30 in the morning the previous night. He groaned out loud at the prospect of spending another day setting up the Great Hall to perfection. Nevertheless, he groggily pulled himself out of his bed and tried to pull on his robe backwards for a good five minutes before he realized what went wrong.
He shook his head and decided to try and open the door with his face instead of his hand. It didn't work that well.
"Son of a-" the sound of his foot connecting with his door and sending it flying open drowned out the last word.
"What did that door ever do to you?" asked Hermione haughtily, reading a book in her armchair.
"It popped out of bloody nowhere and decided to hit me in the face, that's what it did," said Harry, maybe a just a touch grumpy.
"Well," said Hermione coolly. "Now that you've made your grand entrance, we can join the prefects in the Great Hall."
"Why aren't you down there already?" asked Harry, confusion replacing his anger. If he had had to put his money on anyone being the first person decorating in the morning it would've been her.
He might have been mistaken, but he could've sworn her cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink. "Wouldn't want you to look bad, would we? We are stronger as one unit, not two."
Harry was secretly thrilled that she said that but decided to hold it in for the sake of not looking like an overzealous git. They exited the portrait hall and Harry thought things couldn't get better…until they got bad. "Why didn't you wake me up to go patrolling last night?" Hermione demanded with a stern, no-nonsense tone.
Ah…the real reason she had waited for him. "I thought I could handle it alone last night since you were already asleep. Only half of us are even here, you know. Why does it make you so angry that I was trying to be nice?"
"They're my duties also," she said quickly. "They shouldn't be neglected just because I've fallen asleep."
That wasn't the real reason why she was angry, but Harry thankfully bought it. If she was to be honest with herself, she didn't really know why she was angry. The duties part did comprise at least a small portion of her anger, but she couldn't quite put her finger on the real reason. It was also the real reason why she waited for him. For some weird reason she felt that being around Harry was the place to be at the moment, and it perplexed her as to why that was so.
"Well, I'm sorry I didn't wake you up then," said Harry, surreptitiously rolling his eyes.Women, especially Hermione, would always confuse him.
Hermione didn't miss the sarcasm but decided not to comment on it, having more pressing matters at hand. Namely, the appearance of a certain fifth-year boy who had dumped her best friend last night. She took a deep breath and was about to yell at him to come over to her when Harry touched her shoulder, non-verbally telling her that he would handle this. She looked up to him and felt unexplained anxiousness and fear grip her body. His glare alone could've matched that of a basilisk's at that point in time, his green eyes smoldering. What he did next surprised Hermione. He put his arms out and greeted Andrew like an old friend.
"Andrew, my man!" he called, and the boy looked over at him, confused. They had probably never spoken a word to each other in their lives. "Can I talk to you really quickly? I have a favor to ask you," he said, much too sweetly Hermione noticed.
She his hands curl into fists as the boy approached and immediately knew what was going to happen next…and she found that she wasn't in any particular mood to stop it.
As Andrew got close to Harry the older boy's fist cocked back, ready to deliver a haymaker. Andrew's nervous smile was replaced by a look of horror milliseconds before Harry's fist met his jaw with a pop, sending him to the ground in a daze. "Get up, you," said Harry savagely. "I'm not done with you yet. You think you're a man for being able to break my sister's heart just because she wouldn't put out? Let's see how much of a man you are when faced with a real test." Harry put up his fists in a fighting posture.
"What the hell?!" shrieked Andrew. "You crazy bastard!" When he noticed his shouting was having no effect on the Head Boy, he turned to the Head Girl. "You're not just going to stand there and let this happen, are you?"
Hermione looked down on him with the most contempt she could muster. "She's my best friend. I'm going to stand here and let it happen."
By now, a small group had gathered around the three, chanting "Fight! Fight!" Hermione cast a silencing charm around the edges of the crowd, stopping all sound from exiting the premises and reaching the teachers' ears.
Andrew tried to back out in fright, the piss stain growing on the front of his trousers, but the crowd pushed him back in the circle, the chanting growing louder. Harry cracked his knuckles loudly and closed in on the younger boy, who had a weak defense up. Harry's fist slammed through the gap in between Andrew's raised fist and connected with his chin in a devastating uppercut that lifted him off his feet.
Andrew landed on the floor and there was suddenly an adult holding Harry back with quite a bit of trouble. It was Professor Lupin. "Harry, stop! I don't want to have to suspend you!"
"Remus, let go of me!" Harry snarled. "He broke up with Rory because she wouldn't have sex with him!"
Lupin, who saw and treated Aurora as a niece, let go of Harry with a disgusted look on his face and gave him a quick, encouraging nod before exiting the crowd in the direction of the Headmaster's office. Andrew staggered to his feet and spit out a mouthful of blood, his eyes out of focus. He took a wild swing that miraculously connected with Harry's side, doing no damage to him whatsoever. Harry picked Andrew up by the collar of his shirt and the crowd parted so he could slam him into the wall and hold him there. Harry screamed in his face, "Don't you ever, EVER go near my sister for the rest of your pathetic, miserable life!"
Andrew slowly nodded, his eyes wide with fear, and Harry looked over at Hermione, breathing hard. "Anything you want to do to the bastard?" he asked her.
Hermione looked at him thankfully and slapped Andrew hard across the face, leaving a red handprint. Harry then threw Andrew a good seven feet through the air before the thoroughly beaten young man hit the ground hard and slid another few feet, staying down on the ground for good this time. Harry sneered and snorted in contempt before pushing his way through the cheering crowd while taking out his wand to Scourgify the blood off of his hands.
Hermione grabbed his wrist, stopping him from doing so. She said, "I have to heal it. There's no way you can punch someone that hard and not bruise your knuckles."
"I doesn't hurt," Harry lied as the pain began to set in.
Hermione raised an eyebrow at him skeptically, which prompted him to raise his hands in her direction. She cleaned the blood off and healed the bruises, relieving the pain immediately. She grabbed both of his hands and tenderly skimmed her thumbs over his until-recently bruised knuckles, not looking away from his eyes. "All better?" she asked softly and more than a little absentmindedly.
"Yeah," he said back just as softly, not releasing her intense gaze. "Thanks."
For some reason, Hermione's face seemed to be getting closer to his, her eyes starting to drift closed. And Harry seized up, his eyes going wide. He pulled back, gently pushing Hermione's shoulders away from him. "Wait, this is wrong," he said breathily with little conviction, trying to compose himself.
"But Harry," she said alluringly, still trying to lean in.
"No, Hermione," he said strongly. "Stop it."
Hermione snapped out of her trance, blushing madly all the way to the roots of her hair. "Oh, Merlin," she said. "I-I have to go…right now," she said before fleeing in the direction of the Great Hall.
And Harry smiled a tired smile. He didn't regret his decision to stop her one bit. Because he knew more about her than she did at the moment. She was confused, and in denial, and attracted to his physical features. That almost-kiss would've been a heat of the moment kiss more than anything else.
And Hermione would've realized what she had done and hated not only herself for it, but unfairly blamed him for it for whatever reason she could find. And they would be set back even farther than before, with Hermione probably ignoring him and seeing him as an egotistical prat who somehow manipulated her into kissing him. Denial was a terrible thing, sending even the smartest and nicest of people into a whirlwind of confusion and behavior that just didn't suit them.
The other reason why he said no was that Hermione wasn't in love with him yet. He wanted them to be in love with each other when they kissed for the first time.
Harry could tell that Hermione was on the fence when it came to matters concerning him. On the one hand, she loved the sweeter side of him that had only been around for a month. On the other hand, she hated the arrogant side of him that she had known for six and a half years. And finally, it would take something drastic to overcome her stubbornness enough to have her admit to him that he was right all along.
He just didn't want anybody doing anything that would destroy what he had been carefully constructing for the past month.
Because it wasn't worth one kiss if said kiss made her realization of love happen so much later than it could've been had the kiss not happened.
***LFLS***
Hermione was holding back tears as best she could as she briskly walked towards the Great Hall. I'm not in love with Harry, I'm not in love with Harry, she kept telling herself.
You say that, yet you can't resist being around him and constantly go out of your way just to get a glimpse of him. Your heart beats faster when he's near and a smile appears on your face. You hope he'll look at you first when he enters a room, and-"Shut up!" she shouted at her mind with a hysterical edge to her voice.
It was impossible, the ever-arrogant Harry Potter was never right about anything! There was no way she was in love with him! She didn't even like him enough to consider befriending him!
Harry had always been an arrogant prat and one month of good behavior wasn't going to change it. There was no way she was going to fall for it and go out with him and have her heart broken when she realized it was all an act to finally date her.
No, why would my heart break? she thought. That would imply that I had been in love with him!
Hermione was very glad Harry had shown some maturity and stopped the kiss. She would've hated herself twice over-once for kissing him and the other for causing him the pain of knowing that the kiss wasn't an 'I love you' kiss. No matter how she felt towards him, she didn't want to break his heart by getting his hopes up and crushing them immediately afterwards. That just seemed cruel.
Hermione finally arrived at the Great Hall and was grateful for the upcoming distraction.
***LFLS***
Headmaster Albus Dumbledore was humming a merry tune as he walked toward the site of what Professor Lupin had told him was a boy who had had the crap beaten out of him by the Head Boy. Professor Lupin had also given him Harry's reason for deciding to take the boy's punishment into his own hands.
"Andrew Williams," he said as he found a boy with a bloody and battered face lying down on the floor of the second story of the castle. "Do you care to kindly inform me what happened here?"
"Nothing," grunted the boy, obviously in pain. "My own fault. Tripped and fell down the stairs. Do you mind getting me some medical attention?"
Professor Dumbledore looked down at the boy before sending his patronus to Madam Pomfrey, informing her that there was an injured student in the castle, before continuing to walk through the halls while whistling his merry tune.
It was a shame for the boy that he had tripped and fell down the stairs. Self-inflicted injuries were the worst.
It must've been painful.
***LFLS***
Hermione had composed herself before entering the Great Hall and was working like a madwoman by the time Harry had shown up. She had decided to not bring up the almost-kiss and act no differently toward Harry.
She went up to the Head Boy and curiously asked, "How did you know that not only was Andrew your sister's girlfriend, but that he had broken up with her for that specific reason?"
"Oh, she and I shared a little bonding moment last night and she told me everything," said Harry pleasantly.
"Oh," said Hermione , not completely understanding what he was saying. "That's nice."
An awkward silence fell over the two before Harry said, "Er…we better get to work."
Hermione agreed and they headed to opposite sides of the Great Hall, throwing surreptitious glances toward each other throughout the day, wishing to be closer.
They worked hard and fast and finished the hall with a good two hours left until the start of the ball, the Great Hall looking more and more amazing as the enchanted ceiling got darker and darker.
Of course, all the girls were freaking out that there were only two hours left until the start of the Ball while the guys snickered at their antics, earning them punches to the arm.
Harry went upstairs and started getting ready with an hour left so he could be sure he'd be ready by the time his sister was. And as the time got closer and closer, Harry could feel some foreign, ancient magic crackling through the air.
The outcome of this ball was going to be life-altering, there was absolutely no doubt in Harry's mind about that.
It was a good thing he was wearing his lucky underwear.
A/N: I know that last sentence was totally lame and cheesy, but I've always wanted to use it and that seemed to be the perfect time!
And yes, I know that the previous chapter was longer! That just had to do with where the chapter naturally flowed to a stop in my opinion. This chapter just naturally stopped at an earlier point (length-wise) than the previous one was.
Thanks for reading and I hope you take time to please review!