Unofficial Portkey Archive

This idea comes from my desire to see if I can make a R/Hr relationship work. Turns out, I can, but only for a while before my shipping heart starts to take over the fic and write H/Hr. Other than that, it came out of nowhere.

Also, it WAS supposed to be a SHORT oneshot, 3k words at most, BUT it kind of slipped away from my hands and turned out to be 12k words, I tried.

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Title: "when the idea clashes with reality"

Rating: PG/PG-13

Words: 5,998

Characters/Pairings: (friendship, for now) Harry/Hermione, Ron/Hermione

Theme/Prompt: #093 - Uniform

Warnings/AN: dh-au, post-ch36. Rating is mostly for strong words, the occasional kiss, really, there's nothing that goes above PG but I'm being cautious. Also, this is NON-epilogue complian. Obviously. Also, for those who are worrying about the amount of R/Hr in this, it's not much, and I don't go into details or anything.

Summary: Sometimes the idea of someone is better than the actual person.

Disclaimer: The Usual.

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She should've seen it coming, but this whole situation kind of sneaks up on her. Completely unexpected and thrilling. Exciting.

Frightening.

Because it's not supposed to be like this. There are rules to consider, people to think of, standards to meet. And a whole bunch of equally ridiculous excuses that simply cannot be ignored as of now.

Somehow, though, it doesn't seem too difficult to ignore it all in lieu of charging forward like a freaking Gryffindor.

Of course, it all is a by-product of unfulfilled expectations, disappointment. A case where the idea of something is sometimes-definitely better than the actual thing. In this case, however, the something is actually someone.

~

She thinks, honestly, she shouldn't be surprised that their relationship starts to dwindle even before it actually takes any real shape. Ron is resolute in his refusal to return to Hogwarts, going as far as quickly accepting the chance to enter the Auror Academy when Minister Shacklebolt offers it to him and Harry, thus effectively cutting the time they could have spent together short to a few sporadic visits during the weekend. And that only assuming Headmistress McGonagall will allow her to visit Hogsmeade outside Hogsmeade weekends.

Not a promising, or encouraging, thing for a budding romantic relationship.

And as if that isn't enough, when the end of May had arrived, and Harry had presented her with a plane ticket to Sydney, saying he'd arranged it with Shacklebolt and the Australian Ministry of Magic to track down her parents and fix their memories, Ron had refused to accompany her, stating that his family needed him. The Weasleys did need all their children together after Fred's death, so Hermione had been okay with his answer, understanding his reasoning. She hadn't, couldn't begrudge him that.

It's what he'd said after that had ticked her off, that he didn't want to spend more time than what was really necessary in the muggle world. Oh, she knows his comment hadn't been a slight to her parents, but more to… the obvious necessity of minimizing the use of magic that going to Australia would imply. It hadn't upset her, no, just… she'd just been ticked off, that's all. And it hadn't been so bad, really, as she'd managed to get a promise out of him to visit her for the next two month she'd be with her parents sorting everything out.

Only, all his visits had been with Harry in tow, and while that hadn't bothered her, she wanted very much to spend time with her black-haired best friend too, by the end of the two-month holidays Hermione had started to get the distinct feeling that Ron visited her because of Harry rather than he bringing their friend along.

Still, she'd pushed all that aside and decided to make the most of their time together during August, as she'd been due to board the Express to Hogwarts come September 1^st while he went to the Auror Academy. It had been okay, for the most part, at first. They'd started "dating", but the awkwardness had remained; they had nothing much to talk about other than Harry and that would've been a blow to any kind of romantic atmosphere. Then, the Break-Up had happened. Harry seemed to be done with Ginny for good, and she'd obviously sided with Harry while Ron went back and forth between siding with his best mate and with his sister, and soon, their dates had started to become disastrous when the topic of Harry and Ginny became impossible to avoid and they ended up fighting and-

-well.

Needless to say, September 1^st has finally come, and Hermione is already at odds with her boyfriend.

Definitely not a promising, or encouraging, thing for a budding romantic relationship.

~

She walks down the path to the entrance of the School, crossing the front yard and enjoying the sunny day. Hermione smiles, for no real reason, as she approaches the gates. She wonders why Headmistress McGonagall had insisted that she take the rest of the day off. Sure, she has no more classes today, but it is NEWTs year, and she promised herself to prepare for them early in the year so she wouldn't have a panic attack like she did during OWLs.

Still, no reason to sacrifice her study day only because it's her birthday. Luna and Denis are planning to throw her a party on Friday, her parents can't come into Hogsmeade and Ron had sent her an owl last week apologizing for not being able to visit her today, too busy with his Auror training, and had promised to make it up to her this Saturday.

So, yeah, she has no desire to go out of the castle on this day, as she has no one to spend it with.

These are the thoughts circling her head, as she decides she'd go to the village to buy some new books she hadn't been able to get before boarding the Express, when the silhouette of a man, leaning against one of the stone pillars flaking the gates, comes into view.

The man, dressed in simple black robes, is facing away from her; his hood is pulled up so she doesn't know who he could be. She stops briefly and then keeps walking, supposing that if the stranger really posed a threat to the School, he wouldn't be standing in plain sight.

It could still be a trap, though, so she makes sure her wand is accessible in her wand-holster.

Her faltering steps must have made more noise than expected, because the stranger straightens up, pulls back his hood and turns to face her. His messy black hair and sparkling green eyes are the first things to register in her brain, then comes that unmistakable mischievous smile.

Hermione can't help herself, and screams.

"HARRY!"

He grins at her and opens his arms, bracing himself for her tackle. It doesn't take her long to run the remaining distance between them and jump into his arms, hugging him tight; vaguely, she thinks, this is the first time Harry receives one of her hugs with open arms, accepting it instead of resigning to it.

"Hey, Hermione!"

He laughs softly, probably at her enthusiasm, but it's warranted, as she hasn't seeing him since the Break-Up. He pulls her closer to him, squeezing his tight, before loosening his hold a little, enough to pull back to look at her. And immediately, his eyes go wide and his mouth falls open. Hermione gets the distinct feeling that whatever he was going to say, gets lost in his surprise, because what he blurts out then, and by the intense blush that takes over his face, obviously isn't mean for her to hear.

"Wha-Hermione, wow! You look fantastic! Bloody b-brilliant!"

An honest comment. She knows because Harry never says anything to her that's not true, he might hold back some things, but everything he says is the honest truth. So, yeah, she blushes, not because of his words but his unreserved enthusiasm when saying the words. And before it can get awkward, they start laughing, and she loves that things with Harry are always like this. That no matter what, they can move past awkward moments and serious discussions and remain as close as they've always been. The disaster of the past two years notwithstanding.

Hermione hugs him tight again and kisses his cheek before breaking the embrace. "Thank you, Harry. I'm really glad my decision is, so far, well-received," she says, still blushing bright and fingering the source of his shock, her cropped hair.

It had been an out-of-the-blue decision. Only yesterday, actually, she'd been studying with Luna in the Library, her hair kept falling over her eyes, when Luna commented that if it bothered so much she should cut it, or at least tie it back. She had simply stopped writing her essay, looked up at Luna, and asked her if she would cut it for her. And Luna, in her lovely, quirky way, had smiled pleasantly and nodded, saying they should probably go to the RoR because she doubted Madam Pince would appreciate the mess.

And that'd been that. Later, after dinner, they'd gone into the Room and Luna had cropped her hair, leaving her with a fairy-like haircut that actually looked lovely.

As many have said throughout the morning. The difference now is that Harry is important to her, so of course his opinion would cause more of an impact on her. That's all. Really.

Harry stares at her longer than usual, smile still in place, and then he gets closer and reaches up to touch her hair, waving his fingers between her locks almost absentmindedly. When he pulls back, he looks sheepish but compliments her again. "Well, I meant what I said, however unintentionally, you do look great."

Hermione smiles and pressed another quick kiss to his cheek before looping her arms through his and starting to walk down the path towards Hogsmeade. "Yes, well, I tried. Now, tell me what you were going to say before I shocked the daylights out of you."

He grins in amusement, pushing their shoulders together and shoving her gently to the side. "Happy birthday!"

"Really, that's it?"

"Well, it is your birthday, right? I haven't gone insane enough to confuse my best friends' birthdays, and I'm pretty sure it was Ron the one getting a belated birthday party this past summer."

His grin is infectious and she can't help but grin back. Of course, he's telling the truth and it makes her happy that he managed to get the day off to come and see her, but Hermione can sense there's something else he's not telling her. "Why are you really here, Harry?"

"Ah, well, there is something else," he says, his smile turning nervous. "But I'll tell you over lunch, yeah? I haven't eaten nothing since breakfast and that was seven hours ago."

She gasps and then gives him a glare that actually conveys her worry for him. "Harry! You can't go on without eating a least a little for so long! You promised me you would take care of yourself."

"Hey, sorry, I usually eat a snack mid-morning, but today I kinda got caught up in everything I've been doing. Sorry."

Hermione sighs, but drops the glare, and smiles again. "It's okay, I guess, I should've known you had a good reason. Now, come on, I'll make sure you eat an extra-large lunch. And then you can tell me all about this mysterious reason for being here."

He laughs good-naturedly, but offers no resistance when she all but drags him down the path, picking up their speed as they approached the village. Within minutes, they are stepping into the Three Broomsticks, being greeted by Madam Rosmerta. As soon as they're seated and place their orders, Hermione sends a pointed glance at Harry.

"Ah, well, no use in prolonging it, eh?"

"Of course not, Harry, you know I'd break you eventually."

They share a laugh until Hermione thinks she's waited enough and motions him to go on.

"Ah, okay then. The thing is, I was going to come to Hogwarts eventually during this week, as I needed to sort some business with McGonagall-I mean, Headmistress McGonagall," he says, amending his slip rather quickly when she sends him a disapproving glance. "I only chose today, because I know it's your birthday and I wanted to spend it with you, seeing as you can't see your parents and Ron wasn't able to get the day off."

"Thank you, Harry, that's very considerate of you," says Hermione, but then frowns as the bit related to Ron springs forward in her mind. "But how come you could get the day off and not Ron? Aren't you both in the same Auror training program?"

At this, his expression turns puzzled, and he tilts his head to the side in an adorable way (and why is she noticing that anyway?), before replying. "Didn't Ron tell you? I'm not taking the training program, Hermione, I don't need to."

Hermione starts, and blinks a couple of time in clear shock. "But-how-why?"

Harry blushes and fidgets nervously in his seat, almost as if afraid of her reaction-or perhaps embarrassed? "Oh, well, um… When Kingsley offered us the opportunity of getting into the Auror Academy, at first I accepted. But then… after you left for Australia, I got to thinking, and decided that I wanted to enter the Academy on my own merits and not because I'm the bloody Boy-Who-Lived, so I told Kingsley that I would accept if he let me take my NEWTs." Here, he makes a pause and laugh nervously; the food arrives and Harry waits for them to be alone again before continuing with his tale. "Well, he agreed. What I honestly didn't expect was to actually pass the NEWTs."

"Which ones did you take?" asks Hermione, unable to control neither the proud tone of her voice nor the admiration probably showing in her face.

"Oh, um, the ones I needed to be an Auror, obviously. Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, Defence, Potions. I also decided to take Muggle Studies. I got four O's," he says, grinning, while at the same time managing to sound both proud and embarrassed at the same time.

"Oh! That's great. Congratulations, Harry!" Hermione grins at him, reaching over the table to squeeze his hand briefly before returning to her lunch. "So, if you passed, then why aren't you training with Ron?"

Harry takes his time to answer that question, and they both eat some of their lunch, obviously very hungry. After swallowing a half his bottle of butterbeer, the green-eyed boy resumes his tale.

"That's just it, Hermione. I failed to pull all the required NEWTs; I got a D in Potions," he says, and raises his hands to forestall her barricade of questions. "I thought Kingsley was going to accept the fact that I didn't qualify, but he made me a deal. He said he would test me to see where I stand in the training program, and then he would accept my decision to wait a year before applying to be an Auror."

"Okay…"

"And as it turned out, I kind of… aced that test too. As far as advanced magical combat, I don't need to go through the three-year training program, I can become an Auror now if I so desired. The other two disciplines taught during training, my abilities in "Stealth and Tracking" and "Concealment and Disguise" are pretty good, that I only really need more practice in those, more field experience." Harry pauses for a while, picking at his remaining lunch, before raising his eyes and giving her a desperate look. "So, you see, I'm all set to be a full-fledged Auror. Kingsley said he would contact a Potions Master to instruct me so I can pass that NEWT, and to teach me the few potions I need to know to be an Auror, as everything else can be learned on field. As far as Kingsley is concerned, I'm fully qualified to be an Auror now."

It's then that realization dawns on her, and Hermione reaches over to take his hand again, only this time, not letting go. "But you don't want to be an Auror now, do you?"

Harry sighs, looking as exhausted as he did after the Battle. "No, I-Hermione, I've spent the last seven years of my life fighting in one way or another, be it to save my own life or someone else's. I just defeated a Dark Lord to save the freaking world, and I'm tired. I just want to be normal, and live a peaceful life. Being an Auror won't give me that, I know it won't."

"Oh, Harry…"

"I told Kingsley the truth, and to my utter shock, he knew how I felt but told me he couldn't really accept my refusal for now."

"He's not forcing you, is he, Harry? He can't do that!" Hermione gasps and soon feels the all too familiar rage that bubbles up within her every time someone tries to make Harry a push-over.

"Oh, no. He explained to me why he can't accept my refusal, and I understand. So we worked out another deal," he says. Harry quickly finishes his lunch, probably foreseeing her reaction at not eating properly; surprisingly, he has yet to let go of her hand (or is it the other way around?). "He will give me this year, to properly study Potions with an instructor of my choice, and on my spare time, I will assist some training exercises in the Academy. I will also help in whatever mission he needs me to. If at the end of the year, I still refuse to be an Auror, he will let me be."

Hermione nods contemplatively for a while, her lunch long forgotten but it's alright, as she will have a full dinner to go to later. Then something strikes her as odd, something Harry said, and the way he said it. "What kind of missions?"

He cringes and looks away; her chest contracts painfully in response. "I'd hoped you wouldn't notice that."

"Harry, no…" she says in a pained whisper.

"It's okay, Hermione. The War delivered a great blow to the Auror Department, especially after years of being neglected. They have to capture those bastards and Kingsley thinks I'm the best to help them do it."

"But isn't defeating Voldemort enough? Why must you keep endangering your life?"

Smiling lightly, Harry scoots his chair until he's next to her, and slides an arms around her shoulders in a comforting hug. "It's really okay, Hermione. I'm not going to be doing it alone, even Kingsley will go along sometimes. And it's not like I'll be going right now, or anytime soon. They need to find them first."

Hermione nods, resigned to the fact that there's nothing she can do short of tying him down to make him change his mind. Luckily, and because she knows Harry can't deal well with sad-on-the-verge-of-breaking-down females, he moves on to the more positive news of his visit. And succeeds splendidly in cheering her up as he tells her the good news.

"Really? You'll be coming back to Hogwarts?"

"Only for Potions, though. I already spoke with M-Headmistress McGonagall this morning," he grins, bumping their shoulders together. "Nice, eh? We'll be taking Potions together, just like the good ol' times!"

They share another laugh. When it's obvious neither is going to order dessert, Harry pays for their lunch, ignoring her complains about it with great amusement, and then they're off to stroll through the village.

The damages from the Battle months ago are almost over, they villagers having been doing such a good job that, if one didn't know what had happened, the few buildings still in repair could pass of as having suffered a bout of accidental magic. Harry watches it all with a troubled expression, only showing a smile when people recognized him and approached to express their gratitude. Hermione smiles at him encouragingly, surreptitiously grabbing his hand to show her support and understanding, because even through it all, victory and celebrations, Harry remains keenly aware of those who were lost during the final confrontation. And, perhaps, what pains him most, is the knowledge that his last link to his parents died, leaving behind an orphaned baby, whom Harry has promised to care as if he were his own.

Honestly, with everything he's had to deal in this live, Hermione can't fathom how it is that Harry remains to be so selfless and kind; not that it matters to her, as it's one of the things she loves and admires most of him.

After they've walked enough, Hermione mentions in passing how she'd planned to spend this day before she realized Headmistress McGonagall had played her to meet with him. So, Harry, stating his lack of a proper present, offers to pay for everything she planned to buy. She protests, but he, in his most obstinate fashion, ignores her again and does as he pleases.

"Honestly, Harry," says Hermione as they walk back to the Castle, her pockets full of presents from her best friend. "You really didn't have to."

"Oh, after everything you've done for me, Hermione? This is nothing. Besides, you know money isn't an issue for me, and if I can make my best friend happy with it, I'll spend it gladly."

She tries to glare, but as always, he flashes his mischievous smile and Hermione feels her resolve crumbling. "You're too cute for your own good, you know that?"

Harry laughs. "So I've been told."

At last they arrive at the Gates, and Hermione turns to him, giving him a happy smile before it drops along with her good mood. Harry sighs, but closes the distance and embraces her tightly.

Hermione returns his gesture with as much force as she can muster, doing her utmost best to suppress her tears. Because it's absurd to cry now, just like he said, it's not like he'll leave now. "You'll tell me when it's time for these missions, won't you? You'll let me when you come back?"

"Of course," Harry pulls back a little to look into her eyes, grinning at her. "How about this? After every mission, I'll come straight here, and you can tag-team with Madam Pomfrey and fret all you want over me, eh?"

Her only answer is a tremulous smile and a tiny nod, but it's enough for him. Harry tightens his embrace once more, kissing her forehead before pulling back.

"Well, I'll see you on Monday," he says, and then vanishes with nary a pop.

~

Considering everything, Hermione thinks it was rather foolish of her to expect anything else. Maybe it was her mistake, maybe not, but if there's one thing that she knows, is that Ron should've moved past his jealousy a long time ago.

She's excited to see him, and why not? He's her boyfriend. So, when Saturday arrives, Hermione is ready to meet Ron, even going as far as putting on some make-up, something she loathes to do. They meet at the Three Broomsticks, share a brief kiss, and then they decide to take a nice stroll before having lunch.

Everything goes well for a while; they hold hands and smile a lot. Ron shares all the things he's experiencing during Auror training, all the new things he's learning and enjoys telling her how he's the best of the lot, and how he wishes he weren't alone. He goes on and on how in only a few days it was decided he didn't need the whole three-years of training and how he'd been moved up a year.

"Can you believe it, Hermione? I'm taking an advanced class of combat!"

It's great, seeing him this happy about his accomplishments. So when he asks her what's new with her, making an off-handed comment about how much boring it must be for her now that he's not around, which Hermione ignores because, really, after seven years of danger, boring is actually good. So, she tells him about her recent accomplishments, which can be summarized in perfect essays and perfect scores. She tells him of how Headmistress McGonagall insisted in giving her the Head Girl position, trusting her to do the job, and how she resolved to avoid stressing over her NEWTs, even though she's preparing for them already.

"Harry came a few days ago, for my birthday."

And that's when everything starts to go downhill.

Ron frowns, his anger barely concealed, and ask why. She doesn't realized his mood change right away, so she tells a very short version of his reasons for the visit. Only that he's going to start taking Potions classes with the rest of the Seventh Years, as a deal he made with Minister Shacklebolt. When Ron ask why, again, Hermione notices his deepening frown and the downward twist of his mouth.

"Harry passed the exam to become an Auror, didn't you know? Kingsley wanted to give him to position right away, but Harry insisted that he should do it like everybody else, so he took his NEWTs when I was still in Australia, failing only in Potions. Kingsley insisted that he be a full-fledged Auror, even without his Potions NEWT, but Harry still refused. So they made a deal, which is why Harry coming back to take Potions."

"He told me he was going to quit. Why would he change his mind about it and not tell me?"

The anger she detected in his voice makes her frown in response, and Hermione stops walking, forcing Ron to stop as well. "He did quit, but Kingsley is not accepting it."

"Of course not, they can't bloody lose the Boy-Who-Live, can they? No, Harry Potter must be a full-fledged Auror without even going through the proper training, that's how-"

"He is training," snaps Hermione, cutting his tirade short. She pulls her hand back from his hold as if burned and glares angrily at him. "He's training harder than you, actually, but even so, he doesn't want to become an Auror anymore. You should be worrying about why your best friend decided to drop his dream career instead of whining about unimportant things that seem unfair only in your perfect world, Ronald."

He's going to say something, she's sure, but her glare hardens and Ron shuts up instead. They stand awkwardly for a few minutes before he mumble that they should go have lunch before it gets too late. Hermione nods and spins around to retrace their steps, stubbornly refusing to give him her hand even when he tries to take it.

Things only get worse from there.

Lunch after that is an strained affair. Ron tries to talk, but she's too worked up over his apparent jealousy of their best friend, unwarranted because for all the things Ron feels jealous of, Harry has never wanted any of it and, as if that weren't enough, his rewards so far have been nothing compared to the loses he's suffered through the years. And to make matters worse, it seems that, for Harry, it'll be a long time before the good times start outweighing the bad.

As it is, after she finally lets go of her anger enough to tell Ron of the other reasons for Harry's visit, he gets angry again, and she snaps as it is the norm when it comes to Ron. Needless to say, Hermione ends up storming out of the Three Broomsticks in clear rage, without so much as a good-bye to her boyfriend.

That's when Hermione starts to wonder why she even bothers, their relationship obviously too flawed to work, but the answer is always the same. Giving up now, after pursuing this relationship for so long, will feel like a failure.

And Hermione hates failures.

~

The following weeks are uneventful compared to those days. Hermione settles into a fairly pleasant routine, spending Mondays studying with Harry in the afternoon, then again on Sundays when they go have lunch with her parents, something that Harry argued at first, saying it's family time but ultimately buckling under her and her mother's pleas.

She doesn't speak to Ron until a week before Halloween. When it's him the one to surrender first, sending her an owl with a very sweet and very heartfelt apology, informing her that he hadn't been able to contact her sooner do to his schedule and how he had smoothed things over with Harry. So, Hermione agrees to meet him the Saturday before Halloween, stating in her answering owl that she expects no more tantrums like that one.

Everything is, once again, great to begin with. Ron is apologetic and Hermione apologizes as well. They smile and share a deep kiss and then link hands and go on to their date.

Only things turn sour faster than before.

Ron tells her this is his first full weekend off, and that it will be the last until next year around his birthday, and that they should spend tomorrow together. She hates to do so, but has to decline his invitation, feeling terrible when his expression falls, so she makes a snap decision that pushed the good mood over the proverbial cliff.

"You can come to my place? My parents are planning to have a barbecue and you can get to see Teddy again, he'll be there."

Later, she realizes, it was her fault. She knows how insecure Ron is when it comes to Harry, but honestly, he should've really moved past that. And she isn't going to neglect her friendship with Harry to appease her boyfriend, especially when that boyfriend is also Harry's best friend.

"Teddy?"

"Lupin. Teddy Lupin, you know, Harry's godson?"

"Harry'll be there?"

"Of course. He brings Teddy over every Sunday to give Andromeda some time to herself."

You see, that's the wrong thing to say, but Hermione doesn't think she should censor the things she says just to avoid upsetting Ron, especially when he wouldn't extend the same courtesy, and more importantly, she shouldn't have to hide such things from him. He's her boyfriend, Harry's their friend. Unlike Ron, he doesn't have a family to spend Sundays with, so she felt it only natural to invite her to spend it with her family.

However Ron doesn't see it like that, and again he gets bitter over the fact that Harry gets to spend more time with her. What can she say to that? She isn't going to apologize for wanting to finish her education properly, and she did warn him that with him training to be an Auror, they would have very little time to spend it together.

"But why is he spending Sundays with you?"

"Not just me, Ron, my parents are there too, and Teddy as well. What do you want me to do? Send him away to spend the day alone?"

"He could go to the Burrow…"

"Can he? Wasn't your mother the one to tell him to leave and not go back until he fixed his problems with Ginny? Which is just another way to tell him he's not welcome unless he's dating your sister?"

"Well, he shouldn't have broken up with her! They were doing fine!"

"Harry wasn't happy! Ginny didn't make him happy and was trying to push him to be something he detests! What is the matter with you? You saw how miserable he was."

"But why does he have to latch onto you? You're my girlfriend, you're supposed to pay attention to me!"

"Kind of hard to do it when you're not even here."

The accusations keep going back and forth and this time, it's Ron the one storming out.

Hermione pushes it all aside for the next two days, then it's her the one to surrenders and sends Ron an owl, apologizing and asking him on another date, promising not to bring the topic of Harry ever again to herself.

She thinks this time it's going to be fine, honestly, as Ron replies two days later saying he was free on Saturday for a while and that they should have lunch together in Hogsmeade. She thinks it's going to be fine, because she's going to do her best not to bring Harry into their chats.

She thinks it's going to be great. Only it isn't, because the morning of All Hallows Eve, the Headmistress gives her a piece of parchment with two sentences written on it.

They found Dolohov. Don't worry, I'll be fine.

Those eight words mark the end to her relationship with Ron; she just doesn't know it yet.

~

November drags by, painfully.

Her date with Ron, while not a disaster, isn't great.

She's too distracted, too worried about Harry. Imagining every possible scenario where things go wrong and that monster take her best friend away from her, each one more terrible than the last. Ron tries, but he too is distracted and, really, Hermione realizes that once they've caught up on each other's day-to-day lives, they have nothing else in common to talk about.

Well, nothing but Harry, and she already promised that she isn't going to mention him to Ron again.

The lack of conversation prompts him to want to kiss, but after a half-hearted attempt in a secluded spot in the Three Broomstick, during which Hermione doesn't feel any of the butterflies that were there during their first kiss, that she pushes him away and excuses herself claiming a need to go to the bathroom. It's a lie but she locks herself in anyway, feeling horrible for treating Ron so poorly and terrified that she might not see Harry again.

Splashing some water on her face, Hermione scolds herself for thinking like that, that it hasn't even been a day and that she should go back to her date. But everything's ruined by then. Her mind can't stop wondering horrible things, and Ron no longer seems interested in resuming their kissing. Even the kiss they share as they part ways feels off, but Hermione can't reason why so she ignores it.

November drags by, without news about Harry.

As the month comes to an end, even McGonagall starts looking anxious. Hermione knows Kingsley isn't part of this mission because the Headmistress has regular meeting with him about financial matters regarding the on-going repairs of Hogwarts. It only makes her more worried, as she doesn't know who accompanied Harry, or if he even went with someone at all. And why won't she worry, when this is the very man who, not only almost succeeded in killing her, but killed Remus as well?

Her studies are her only refuge, that, and the constant company of Luna, who assures her that if Harry said he'd come back, then he would. It helps, talking with Luna; she distracts her enough for Hermione to focus on her classes and homework.

But as the days drag by, Luna, too, proves to be too much.

"I don't know how you do it, Hermione. Long-distance relationships are hard enough on their own, but when you are in a relationship with someone and you're not even compatible? You must be either the most in-love woman in the world, or the most stupidly stubborn."

Hermione ignores those comments, most of the time, for a while.

But when she's sitting on her bed, reading Ron's three-sentences letter, and trying to come up with a proper letter of her own, she thinks stupidly stubborn defines her accurately. Not that she's going to admit it to Luna, or anyone for that matter, but there.

Because now, as she wonders why she even bothers, her usual answers isn't there to satisfy her anymore.

November drags by, slowly turning into December, and her last date of the year with her boyfriend is as awkward and bland as the last one.

They meet as usual, only now they both hesitate clearly before kissing briefly. They forgo the stroll and go right to lunch. All attempts at conversations wither and die as nothing takes hold. Ron fidgets nervously all through the day and Hermione feels inexplicably guilty to be spending the day having fun when Harry could very well be dying. Never mind that she isn't actually having any fun.

After spending minutes in awkward silence, the redhead makes a weak attempt to invite her to spend Christmas with him at the Burrow, but she declines saying she already promised her parents. It shows in the way he doesn't protest her claims how he really doesn't want her there. It surprises her, that such realization evokes nothing in her, just acknowledgement of a fact.

Their date is cut short, as, obviously, they aren't in the mood for anything at all. They part ways much the same as the met, only there's no kiss and only a mumbled good-bye.

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To be continued…

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The second and last part will be uploaded sometime next week. Comment are welcomed!!

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