Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and her various corporate partners. Keldorn Firecam is owned by BioWare, Atari, or whoever it is that owns the rights to Baldur's Gate 2: Shadows of Amn these days, although I have taken several liberties with his character. I own nothing, and I am making no profit by my little ventures into the shadowy realms of fanfiction. I do so purely for enjoyment. I would, however, like to thank JKR for allowing us all to play in her sandbox.
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Harry Potter and the Knight of the Radiant Heart
XXIII
"Harry!" the voice of Lavender Brown exclaimed rather loudly, taking the wizard in question by surprise as he reached the bottom of the staircase. Harry had so much on his mind that lately he was finding it difficult to sleep. He had tossed and turned for the last couple of nights, and as a result was rather tired. He certainly did not expect to find Lavender waiting for him in the common room so early in the morning. Harry didn't think any of the other students even thought about waking up as early as he did.
"You're a hard man to find these days, Harry," said Lavender and both she and Parvati Patil came over and stood before him, blocking his path to the rest of the room.
"Err… Excuse me, Lavender, Parvati, but I'm going to be late…" Harry said as he attempted to make his way past the two girls.
"You're not going anywhere just yet," said Parvati as she and Lavender stood their ground, "so cool it."
Harry took a moment to look at the two girls before him. They were obviously trying to look intimidating, glaring at him with stern frowns on their faces. It was rather ridiculous. Lavender, for one, was wearing way too much pink to intimidate so much as a kitten, and Parvati just looked like she had cleared out an entire makeup counter that morning. Harry didn't think he would be intimidated by these two if they started hurling Killing Curses at him.
"Okay…?"
"As you know," began Lavender, "today is my Ronny's seventeenth birthday. It's an important day in the life of a wizard. It's the day when the boy becomes a man…" Here Lavender sighed dreamily.
Parvati nudged her after a moment.
"Right, as I was saying. Gryffindor is going to be throwing a surprise party for him tonight after dinner here in the common room. Since he is your best friend, you will be present."
"Look, Lavender." Harry started, "I'd like to…"
"He's your best friend, Harry Potter, and you will be present for his party!" Lavender shouted. "I've put a lot of hard work into this and you're not going to ruin it because you're off doing Chosen One things! Today is about my Ronny, so you can just put all your business aside for one evening!"
Lavender finished with a firm nod of her head that Parvati mimicked a split second later.
"Why didn't you tell me about this before?" Harry asked.
"You haven't exactly been the easiest person to get a hold of lately, Harry," Parvati answered. "And we couldn't exactly tell you at meals or in the common room while Ron was around, now could we?"
Harry had no response to that.
"Now promise me," demanded Lavender, "that you'll be at the party tonight."
"Lavender, I can't…"
"Promise. Me."
"Fine. I'll be there."
"Good," Lavender said, nodding once again.
"Can I go now?"
The two girls stepped aside and let him pass. Harry quickly made his way to Keldorn's office to begin his daily routine. When he arrived, he quietly opened the door to find the knight already seated as his desk, reading from a book.
"Good morning, sir."
"You're late."
"Sorry, sir," Harry apologized. "It couldn't be helped. I was cornered by two of my classmates on my way out of Gryffindor Tower."
"What did they want?"
"Apparently, they want me at a party tonight. It's Ron's seventeenth birthday today, and Lavender is throwing him a surprise party. She refused to let me leave until I promised to be there."
Keldorn simply raised his eyebrows.
"May I go?" Harry asked after a moment.
"I suppose. You have been working diligently of late. And I wouldn't want to make a liar out of you."
"Thank you, sir."
"I expect you to finish the last twelve articles of question eight today."
"Yes, sir."
Without further conversation, Harry got to work.
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Later that evening, after grabbing a quick dinner in the kitchens, Harry hurried back to the Gryffindor common room to ensure that he was on time for the surprise. He came through the portrait hole to find that the room had been transformed. There were balloons and streamers hanging from the ceiling. A Wizarding Wireless was playing a happy tune off in one corner. Chudley Cannons posters decorated the walls. There was a larger than life-size photograph of Ron decked out in his Quidditch gear, happily waving to everyone that crossed in front of it. One of the study tables was piled high with food, while another was laden with cold pumpkin juice and Butterbeer. There was even a gigantic, bright orange, five-tiered cake in the center of the room. It had seventeen large candles on it that were waiting to be lit.
It looked like almost every single member of Gryffindor was present for the party, including many people that Harry was sure Ron had never even spoken to. He suspected that Lavender and Parvati did quite a bit of cajoling to ensure that everyone was present.
The only thing that was missing was the birthday-boy and his girlfriend.
Someone slid into place next to Harry and took his hand in theirs. Harry turned to see Hermione grinning up at him.
"Isn't this lovely, Harry?" she asked. "Lavender really outdid herself with this."
Harry took another look around the room before responding.
"You know, you're right. She really did put a lot into this for Ron."
Parvati chose that moment to walk up to Harry and looked him up and down.
"That's what you're wearing?" the Indian witch asked. "Hermione, I pity you. Oh well, too late to change now." She then strapped a paper party hat onto Harry's head, handed each of them a pair of noisemakers, and then rushed off to check on something else.
"Don't worry, Harry," Hermione said with a smile, "I think you look very handsome."
Harry merely smiled back.
At that moment, one of the first-year girls ran in through the portrait hole.
"They're coming!" she squealed.
"Places, places!" shouted Parvati. "Everyone quiet down and hide!"
Everyone become silent as they waited for Ron and Lavender to enter the room.
After a moment, they heard the sound of the portrait swinging open, followed by Ron's voice.
"What're you up to, Luv? The Twins didn't owl you and put you up to something, did they?"
"You'll see in a moment," teased the voice of Lavender Brown.
A second later, they emerged from the portrait hole together. Lavender had her hands over Ron's eyes.
As soon as she dropped her hands, everyone jumped out and shouted.
"SURPRISE!"
There followed a loud volley of 'happy birthdays,' well-wishes, and bangs and whistles from the various noisemakers.
Ron stood in the entranceway eyes wide, and his mouth was hanging open. Lavender was behind him grinning like a mad woman and bouncing up and down in excitement.
After taking in all the decorations and smiling faces, Ron turned to his girlfriend.
"You did all this?" he questioned.
She nodded excitedly.
"For me?"
She nodded again.
"Come 'ere, you!"
Ron then wrapped his arms around her, leaned back, lifted the delighted witch into the air, and spun around in circles with her.
He eventually put her down, but didn't loosen his hold upon her.
"You're the best, Lav," Ron said to his girlfriend, "I love you!" He then leaned in to plant a long kiss on her lips.
"Awww!" squealed most of the females present in the room, while the males cheered and hollered.
Harry felt Hermione hug his right arm to her chest and he looked over to see her happily watching Ron and Lavender.
After Ron finished his display, he turned to face the crowd.
"Let's party!" he shouted, much to the delight of everyone present.
The party was a lot of fun. Lavender really did know how to put an event together. As they mingled through the crowd, Harry realized that he had never seen his best friend happier than he was now.
Harry was aware that he hadn't been spending as much time as he used to with his best mate. But in that moment, it hit him how much Ron had changed in the last year. He grew up. Like Lavender had said earlier that morning, he was now a man.
Weird.
"What are you thinking about, Mr. Potter?" Hermione asked from beside him.
"Ron and Lavender," Harry answered. "She's good for him, isn't she?"
"I think you're right."
"She gives him the devoted attention that he needs, and she certainly tries very hard to make sure that he has enough to eat," Harry continued, gesturing to the table that was piled high with food. "I really think that she's helped him overcome his insecurities. I mean, can you believe that Ronald Weasley just announced for all the world to hear that he's in love with Lavender Brown?"
"When did you become so insightful?" Hermione teased with a gentle poke in the ribs.
"I guess Ron isn't the only one that's grown up a bit."
Harry looked at Lavender as she continued to bounce with excitement as she followed Ron and held his hand. It wasn't very complicated. She was simply happy. Doing something nice and thoughtful for Ron brought her all the happiness in the world. She wasn't doing it for herself - that much was clear in the way she kept pushing Ron into the center of attention. Heck, she had made an eight-foot tall portrait of the guy for the party after all. If she had wanted to be the center of attention, she probably would have popped out of the cake or something. No, it was the selfless giving that made Lavender so happy. For all her squealing and flightiness, it was clear that Lavender had a good heart, and that she loved Ron dearly.
"They're so happy together," Hermione remarked.
Harry looked at her and smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"What's wrong, Harry?"
"Hey, mate!" Ron shouted, interrupting them. The man of the hour came over and wrapped Hermione in a hug. After a moment he smirked and then lifted her off the ground, spinning her in a circle.
"Ronald Weasley!" Hermione shouted. "You put me down this instant!"
"Oh, I don't know," laughed Ron as he continued to spin her around, "it's my party and I'll do as I like!"
Lavender giggled from beside them.
"I'll hex you!"
"Fine," complained Ron as he set the witch back on her feet.
"Happy Birthday, mate," Harry said as he gave his friend a slap on the shoulder.
"Thanks."
"You couldn't imagine the trouble I went through to make sure that Harry was here," Lavender said.
Ron smiled.
"Firecam still got you busy shovelin' horse shite, then?"
"Shut it, you," Harry answered.
"Come on, Ronny, let's go get our picture taken with the cake before the firsties destroy it," Lavender said before dragging him away.
Hermione turned back to Harry, intent upon picking up their earlier conversation.
"Tell me what's bothering you," she said gently.
"It's just something Sir Firecam said," Harry replied.
She looked at him expectantly and Harry realized that she wasn't going to be deterred.
"Not here."
She nodded in understanding before leading him to the portrait hole. Together they made their way into the halls and searched out an empty classroom. Once they were inside with the door locked and silenced, Hermione turned to him expectantly.
"Well?"
Harry sighed.
"It's… well… it's complicated."
"So explain it to me," Hermione said as she took a seat on the edge of an old desk, "I'm a smart girl, I'll figure it out."
"It's…" Harry started again, "He explained some things to me the other night. Got me thinking. And I don't really know what I should do."
"About what?"
"About this," Harry gestured between the two of them, "about us."
"What?" Hermione asked in a tone of surprise.
Harry looked down at the floor while he explained.
"Sir Firecam told me that paladins are better off without romantic relationships. He said that it's not a strict rule, but it's highly recommended. He said that he knows it's true from experience. He had a wife and children that left him because the demands of being a paladin were too much for them."
"Harry…?" Hermione said his name very quietly. He looked up to see that her eyes were full of tears just waiting to fall.
"He pretty much said that we would both be better off if we put a stop to this now, before we went too far. And I don't know what to do."
"Are you…" Hermione sniffled, "are you breaking up with me?"
"I… no… I said I don't know what to do…"
"What do you mean, you don't know what to do?!" Hermione shouted, suddenly becoming rather angry.
"It's a lot to think about, Hermione…"
"What? You're not happy with me all of a sudden? I'm not good enough for you now?"
"That is not what I said!"
"I thought the way we felt about each other was understood!"
"It's not that simple…"
"Then explain it to me!" she shouted.
"I'm trying!"
Hermione huffed, but stopped yelling. Harry moved over to her and took one of her hands. She let him, but eyed him warily.
"I don't have this all figured out, Hermione. I don't have any decisions made. I know what I want. I know how I feel about you. And I think I know how you feel about me too. But it's not that simple."
"Why not?" Hermione cried as the tears freed themselves from her eyes and rolled down her checks. "Why can't this just be simple for once? Why does it always have to be so hard?"
Harry wrapped her in a hug that Hermione submitted to easily.
"Think, Hermione. All those things about being a paladin… all those reasons Firecam initially had for not making me his squire… those things that you argued with him about. They're still there. They aren't ever going to go away. And they won't exactly make it easy to have a relationship."
Hermione sniffled again and seemingly tried to burrow herself into his chest.
"I mean," continued Harry, "say all this happens. I become a paladin and somehow manage to defeat Voldemort. And we… well… we get married I suppose. Start a family. I won't be able to stop fighting then. As a paladin, I'll have to keep up the fight until the day I die. I'd probably be gone for long periods of time, while you… what? Wait for me? Is that fair to you?"
Hermione pulled back from him and started hitting his chest.
"Nothing about this bloody situation is bloody well fair!" she yelled.
"I know."
Silence stretched out in the room for a long moment.
"So what do we do now?" she asked as she leaned into his embrace once again.
"I don't know. I guess we think for a while. And then we decide if we're going to give this a serious shot or not."
"Thinking," she mumbled. "Great. I'm supposed to be good at thinking."
"Do you want to go back to the party?" Harry asked.
"No," Hermione replied. "Let's just stay here for as long as we can."
"Okay."
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A few evenings later, Harry was being tested in his mentor's office as usual.
"And is ignorance a mitigating factor for an illicit action?" Keldorn asked.
"Well, that depends," answered Harry.
"On?"
"Whether it is invincible ignorance or vincible ignorance."
"And what is the difference?" Keldorn continued his line of questioning.
"Err… invincible ignorance is when the person had no way of knowing that something was wrong and therefore is not morally culpable for their actions, while vincible ignorance is a willful ignorance, and thus they remain culpable."
"Give me an example."
"Okay, well… take the meditations that I do every evening with the Liturgia Horarum. As a squire or a paladin, it is morally incumbent upon me to do the proper meditations and prayers every evening. But, for example, if you took me as your squire and forgot to tell me about it, I would have no way of knowing. Thus I would be invincibly ignorant and not responsible. But, if there was, say, a guide book for new squires that had all the requirements listed in it, and you gave it to me to read, but for whatever reason I refused to do so. Then, if I remained ignorant of my obligation, it would be only vincibly so, and thus I would be culpable for my action or lack thereof."
"Good. Your answer could use more polish, but it will do."
Harry breathed a sigh of relief.
"Now then," the knight continued, "what constitutes grave matter?"
Harry's answer was interrupted by a knock at the door. With a glance at his mentor, Harry went to answer it. He opened the door to find Hermione on the other side.
"Harry," she said by way of greeting.
"Hermione," he replied as he moved aside so that she could enter the office.
"Miss Granger," greeted Keldorn.
Hermione nodded her head to the old knight before turning to address the wizard in the room.
"Harry. I need a word with Sir Firecam. Alone, please."
Harry saw his mentor's eyebrows rise at her words.
"Harry, wait outside please," Keldorn instructed.
"Yes, sir."
With that, Harry exited the room, closing the door behind him. He walked several feet down the hall, so that he was well outside of earshot of the door before simply standing against the wall. It wouldn't be very polite to listen in on their conversation after all.
He glanced back at the door. Harry wondered what Hermione was saying to the paladin. It must have had something to do with him. If it was just about one of her projects, she wouldn't have asked him to leave. It was probably about Keldorn's advice about breaking off their relationship. Harry knew that Hermione was not in favor of doing that. He wondered if she found some way around the old knight's reasoning about celibacy. Maybe she had second thoughts about him becoming a paladin altogether, and was now arguing that Keldorn should dismiss him from his service.
Harry's mind was awhirl with thoughts, one after the other as he silently stood against the wall.
Sometime later, it had to have been at least thirty minutes, the door opened, and Hermione stepped into the hall. She glanced around until her eyes fell on Harry. When she saw him, she walked up to him and took him by the hand.
"You're to come with me," she said.
And without another word, she dragged him off down the hall.
They came to an empty classroom and quickly went inside. Hermione locked and silenced the door, before turning to Harry.
"Sit," she instructed.
"Okay," Harry said as he followed her directions and sat in an old chair.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking since Ron's party, Harry," Hermione began explaining, "and I needed to speak with Sir Firecam before coming to some conclusions."
"Alright."
"Harry," she began again, looking into his eyes, "you are not Sir Firecam."
"Right…"
"And I am not his wife. We are different people in different situations. Just because their relationship did not work out doesn't mean that ours is doomed as well."
"Okay. But the things that make a paladin's life almost impossible for relationships are still there."
"They are still there, yes," she said, "but they will not make our relationship impossible. It might be difficult. It might be very difficult at times, but if we work at it and through it together, I have every confidence that we'll survive."
"How can you be so sure?" Harry quietly asked.
"Because unlike Sir Firecam's wife, who I'm sure is a very nice woman, I will never be content to bloody well sit back and wait while you go off to war!" Hermione exclaimed rather emphatically. She took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing. "Harry, we've been through a lot together, you and I, and we got through it because we were together. Yes, we've had some bumps along the way, but we're stronger together.
"When the day comes for you to face Voldemort," she said with a slight tremble in her voice but in a tone that got stronger as she continued, "I'm going to be right there by your side, whether you want me there or not! It doesn't matter if I'm your friend or your girlfriend, I'll be right there with you and no one - not you, not Firecam, not Dumbledore, and not even bloody Merlin himself is going to stop me!
"And when you've put that bastard in the ground where he belongs and the next one comes along, well, I'll be standing next to you for that one too! If that means I earn myself an early grave, then so be it!
"You're all I've got, Harry. And now that I have you I'm not giving you up. Not without a fight."
"What do you mean, 'I'm all you've got?'" Harry asked. "You've got a lot of people that care about you."
"Oh really?" she asked, "Who?"
"Well… your parents for starters…"
"Harry, my parents couldn't care less about me."
Harry didn't know what to say to that.
"Why do you think it was so easy for me to spend the entire summer here with you? Why do you think it wasn't a problem for me to stay here for Christmas? My parents don't care. They're too self-absorbed in their own little world to really notice anything I do. Nothing I've ever done has been good enough to get their attention. No matter how good I was or smart I was, they just… didn't care. They never wanted a child in the first place, and when I came along by accident, they had no idea of what to do with me. They would just buy me things and hand me off to nannies and tutors and boarding schools and figured that will take care of everything."
"I… I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't know."
"It's not your fault Harry. I never talked about them for a reason, you know. I've come to terms with it. It is what it is. I'd choose you over them any day of the week.
"You really are the only person that I've got, Harry. I know that makes me sound desperate, and maybe I am, and maybe I'm ruining our relationship by putting too much pressure on you now, but… that's just it. You're all I've got."
Harry smiled.
"You're all I've got too."
"Oh, don't be silly, Harry. You've got the entire world in your corner. Minus the Death Eaters, of course. Plus you've got Dumbledore and Firecam teaching you all they know. Not to mention the Weasleys."
"Yeah, well, okay… But having teachers and Boy Who Lived fans isn't the same thing and you know it. And you've got the Weasleys too."
Hermione smiled.
"So, what do we do now, then?"
"I guess we make a decision."
"You know my decision, Harry. You're my decision."
"I suppose you won't let me change your mind about that?"
"Not a chance, Potter."
"So… I guess we give us a go then?"
"Yes. And we'll be serious about it. And we'll work through the tough patches. Together. And I'll be damned if I let anything tear us apart!"
Harry laughed.
"Come 'ere!"
After a tight hug and a brief kiss, they left the classroom together.
"So back to normal then?" Harry asked as they walked down the hall.
"I suppose."
"You know… I kinda like it when you get all worked up and start tossing around the foul language," Harry teased.
"Oh, quiet you," Hermione said with a blush.
"Seriously. It's… well… I like how passionate you get. It's kinda hot."
Hermione stopped walking and looked at him in surprise.
"What?" he asked.
"Harry Potter! Did you just call me 'hot'?"
"I guess I did."
"Oh don't be silly."
"What?"
"No one has ever said anything even remotely like that about me before."
"Well it's true. You're Hermione the hottie!"
"Oh stop!" Hermione smiled and pushed him playfully as she began walking once again.
"Never."
"You really, actually like it when I swear like that?"
"Well, I wouldn't want you to start doing it all day long or anything - that just wouldn't be you. But when you get all worked up… Yeah I do. And you are a hottie."
"You're sweet," Hermione said before giving him a peck on the cheek. "Delusional, but sweet."
"Hey, I am Harry bloody Potter after all! Boy Who Lived! Chosen One! My girlfriend is always the hottest of the hotties!"
"Prat."
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AN: Thoughts?
Thanks for your reviews! And thanks for reading!