AN - Well, it's here. Finally. The last chapter. I'm so sorry I haven't updated this in awhile but I've been sidetracked with uni and an obsession with Las Vegas (Josh Duhamel is so hot). I'm seriously hoping that you like it. I'm a little nervous about posting this. It's unbetaed because I just want to get it out as soon as possible. I personally love the ending. It gives me a huge smile so I hope it does the same to you. Read, review and relish.
A week had passed since my inevitable conversation with Cho and I found myself avoiding Harry. Within the confines of Hogwarts that was a task a lot easier said than done. I wasn't exactly sure why I was avoiding him, I just knew that if I had to talk to him alone I couldn't do it. I would have no idea what to say, how to react to him. Cho had made him a stranger in my mind.
Everyone was telling me how I should feel about Harry, how they thought Harry felt but everyone was ignoring the two most important people in this equation - me and Harry.
That's how I ended up here, in my secluded corner of the library gazing blankly at my almost finished Potions assignment which wasn't due for at least another month.
"You've been avoiding me."
I jump as Harry's voice cuts through my revere. I turn to find him standing behind me, sleeves rolled up and tie loose around his neck, giving the illusion of someone completely relaxed.
"No I haven't," I lie a little too quickly. "I've been busy."
Harry leans on the back of my chair as he bends over to look at my work.
"Hermione, that assignment's not due for another month. Even you aren't that prepared."
Busted.
"I, um, I…"
Harry simply shakes his head, grinning as I fumble for an excuse.
I cross my arms determinedly across my chest twisting around to stare up in defiance. "So what if I have?"
His grin widens slightly as he moves around to sit on my desk, shifting a few books I had been using to the floor. When he's settled he stares down at me, green eyes flashing with amusement.
"What's up?" he asks slowly, as if he's testing my boundaries.
"Harry, you know that's the lamest phrase in the human vernacular right?"
"I know, but it's economical and don't change the subject."
"I don't want to talk about it," I tell him flatly suddenly very interested in spinning my quill on the desktop.
"Okay," he answers, but I can tell he's not going to give it up. "Can we at least talk about something else? I haven't seen you all week."
I glare up at him, making it clear that I knew he was only stalling for time until he got what he wanted from me.
"Hagrid said Grawp's doing well. Keeps asking after `Hermy'. Quite sweet really. Meets you twice and you're on his mind for months afterwards."
I backhand Harry in the leg as I glare up at him, trying to keep the smile off my face.
"What do you want, Harry?" I ask tiredly, not really in the mood for games and maybe it was time that I talked to him.
"What did Cho say to you?"
My mouth drops open as I stare at him. I hadn't expected him to cut to the chase like that.
"How did you kn-"
"I'm not stupid, `Mione. Ron and Ginny came back from the prefect's meeting saying Cho wanted to speak to you and when you got back you're all distant and avoid me like the plague. So, what did Cho say to you?" The last sentence comes out low and flat, more of a demand than a request really. His tone clearly suggesting that if she hurt me in anyway someone was going to pay.
"She didn't say anything," I tell him, staring at my hands, knowing he won't buy that.
"You could at least look at me when you lie."
I look up to find Harry smirking down at me, thoroughly enjoying my discomfort.
"Why didn't you tell me about your last fight with Cho?"
I didn't ask because I was curious, to be honest I didn't really want to know. I asked because I knew it was the only change in topic that he would pay attention to.
Harry's smirk dropped from his face and he immediately set aside the quill he had been playing with. His gaze lost the spark it held two seconds ago when he had been teasing me and became flatter, colder and far more intense.
"Why?" he asks cautiously, watching me carefully taking in each gesture like it spoke three thousand words.
"Cho mentioned it," I answer forcing nonchalance into my voice. "Almost died in shock when she realised that I knew nothing about it."
"So, you're pissed off because I didn't tell you every single detail of my life?"
I can hear the anger creeping into Harry's voice. The hard-done-by-misunderstood-teenage rant was about to follow. Not that I blame him. I'd just done a pretty rotten job of making myself clear.
"No," I answer with a sigh. I would have to tell him now. Any other excuse for that comment he would know I was lying. "For the past few weeks everybody has been talking at me but no one seems to be listening to what I have to say or what I want."
"So, you're not pissed off at me then?"
I smile, shaking my head slightly. "I'm pissed off at the world. You're in the world so technically, yes."
"Cute," Harry tells me grinning. "But this thing with Cho…" he trails off leaving me fill in the blanks.
"One of the instances of being talked at, but overall, actually quite a pleasant conversation which I'll never tell you about."
Harry nods, focusing on a spot just over my left shoulder. He's silent for a moment and I'm about to return to my Potions work when he speaks.
"I will listen," he says flatly, distance creeping into his voice, like he was trying to ignore what those words were saying, what those words meant to me.
"Thanks," I whisper, resisting the urge to hug him.
We sit for a moment in an awkward silence, Harry picking up my ink bottle, twirling it around in his hands as he avoided my gaze. His leg started to jiggle in the desk and I knew he was feeling what I was. There was so much to say but we were both too scared to say it, too inept with words to express it.
"You seem chipper today,' I comment slyly. Although it was true I knew immediately that Harry did not want to talk about our conversation a few weeks ago. During our time at the Burrow he hadn't mentioned it once and Ginny still remained the only one of our friends who knew of my presence at Privet Drive. Tonks, however, had pulled me asked and thanked me for coming. She had been on duty for the Order that day and apparently Harry's moping had been enough to have her seriously considering repetitively banging her head up against a brick wall. Aside from that it was Harry and my little secret.
Harry shrug, "I've got Quidditch practice later. It'll be good to fly again."
I knew he was only half-lying. I'd seen first hand what flying could do for him, the exhilaration it caused, but there was something else, a spark in his eyes I hadn't seen in a long while.
As if reading my train of thought Harry speaks again. "It still hurts."
I look up at him, my eyes locking with his. "I know."
Suddenly he tears his eyes away, staring at his hands. His expression was one I'd seen him wear countless times. He was retreating into himself. Something had flicked in his head and lost was all the playfulness of two seconds ago. "There's something I have to tell you," he finally whispers. "I just don't know how."
His eyes flick back to mine, begging me to tell him how, to make this easier on him and on me.
"I knew I would have to tell you, ever since Dumbledore told me, I knew you would be the first person I told. I've just never had the words. I still don't." Harry had never exactly been a wordy person, so the fact that he used so many words to tell me exactly nothing was unbalancing. I also knew that whatever this was it was huge, end of the world huge, only Harry hadn't quite accepted it as fact yet.
"It's okay. You don't have to tell me now."
"I have to," he answers forcefully. "If I don't tell you now we might not have time to do anything about it."
"Harry," I whisper, my voice cracking, almost unrecognisable to even myself. "You're scaring me."
Harry runs a hand through his hair like he always does when he is stressed. "Possibly a feeling you should get used to," he mumbles, not expecting me to hear. I remain silent, too afraid that if I speak he would chicken out completely.
He takes a deep breath, steely determination set on his features, "The prophecy, it wasn't lost."
I never thought five words could cause such blind, paralysing fear.
"Don't be stupid. It broke, no one heard it. Neville told me."
Oh good. Denial. That's comforting.
"This was a bad idea," Harry mumbles as he begins to stand.
"Wait!" I exclaim as I grab his arm, pulling him back down. "Tell me. I'm not going to freak out or anything."
Harry throws me a strange look before taking a deep breath staring at the wall as he begins to speak. "The first half, the half Voldemort already knows, was prophesising the birth of a child which had the power to defeat him. There were two children who fitted the description of the prophecy and so in his infinite wisdom Voldemort decided to try and kill them before they could even hold a wand, let alone use it. Fortunately for us he failed."
"Harry, I'm not sure I'm -"
Cutting off my sentence Harry casually brushes aside his fringe pointing to his scar.
"Oh," I mumble in comprehension. "Oh! But that doesn't mean that it's you, it could be this other child. We're probably getting worried over nothing."
Even as I spoke I knew my words were a dull hope. It didn't make sense for it to be anything but Harry, not after everything he had been through since he returned to the wizarding world. It couldn't just be coincidence.
"It's me. That's where the part Voldemort doesn't know comes in. Voldemort didn't know that it was the child that he marked that would become the one with the power, the power that he knows not. Ironically, he chose the half-blood over the pure-blood. Melodrama aside, the prophecy just tells us it's going to come down to kill or be killed kind of deal. But here's where the kicker comes in - me, potential hero to the entire wizarding world - me, well I don't know if I can do it. When the time comes, I'll be able to kick his arse for sure, but to pull the proverbial trigger, well that's another thing."
I feel my mouth working overtime, opening and closing as my brain struggles to find words. I guess subconsciously I always knew that it would come down to this. After all that had gone down between Harry and Voldemort I would have to be extremely naive not to. But hearing it in Harry's bitter, sarcastic and cynical tone had brought the reality crashing far too close to home.
Hearing his doubts about his ability to kill Voldemort had suddenly clicked everything into place for me. It had given me a glimpse into the man which I had first seen in all his glory in third year when he stopped Sirius and Remus killing Wormtail. Everything Neville, Ron, Ginny, Cho and even my mum had been trying to tell me in the past few weeks suddenly made sense to me.
"I love you," I find myself saying before my brain had given my mouth permission.
From the look on Harry's face I knew that was a reaction he definitely hadn't pictured when he was stressing over telling me. Harry opens his mouth to speak but I hold my hand up stopping him.
"No, let me explain. That's what everyone had been talking at me about. They'd been telling me to make up my mind; to take the shot or leave it forever but not to leave you in any doubt. I guess the prophecy just made everything make sense and I - mmph."
My ramble is cut short in the most pleasant of ways. Obviously unable to wait until I had stopped talking, Harry's lips crashed down on mine, silencing me for a good five minutes.
"You're amazing," Harry breaths, as he pulls back, both of us gasping for air. "You confuse the hell out of me but amazing nevertheless."
"Thank you," he whispers, leaning his forehead up against mine when we had gained our breath again. "Thank you, I- I, um -"
"It's okay," I soothe slightly. "I know."
And I did. I knew what he was trying to say. I just knew he couldn't say it right now. It was too soon. He had always had so many problems connecting to people and now after Sirius he definitely wasn't going to verbalise such a deep connection. But it's okay. It would come.
I'm not going anywhere.
-- Fin --
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