Author's note: This time it wasn't writer's block troubling me, it was finding a friggin' song to go along with this chapter, but I dug deep into my CD collection and found this one and I thought it fit. Thanks for all the reviews, you guys! I really appreciate them.
Chapter 12
The Difference
"Night swimming in her diamond dress
Making small circles move across the surface
Stand watching from the steady shore
Feeling wide open and waiting for
Something warm and tender
Now she's moving further from you
There was nothing that could make it easy on you
Every step you take reminds you that she's walking wrong
Yeah, for all you know
This could be
The difference between what you need
And what you want"
(Matchbox 20, "The Difference")
"I'm so glad we talked mum out of making us wear robes in the middle of June," Ron said, as he watched Harry try on another suit jacket. "With it being an outdoor wedding and all, we'd be all grotty and sweaty in dress robes."
Harry either didn't hear Ron's comment or didn't think it was funny as he just discarded the 12th jacket he'd tried on and began thumbing through the rack once again.
"Of course Mum nixed the idea I had about us wearing casual clothes full stop," Ron said. "I don't think there's anything wrong with wearing shorts and a t-shirt to your wedding. I mean, it's not about the clothes, really, is it? It's about saying that for better or for worse stuff and all that. Besides, I'd really like to see Luna in a bikini. You wouldn't know it of course, but Luna actually has-"
Ron's voice trailed off as he watched Harry staring absently at the rack of trousers before him.
"Actually has scaly skin and awful warts all over her body," Ron finished, his eyes twinkling mischievously at Harry, but his voice quite deadpan. "And at first I was intimidated by it, but they've actually kind of grown on me and I love old Loony, warts and all."
Ron gave out a laugh, but Harry still continued to stare at the rack of clothes before him.
"Okay," Ron said, getting up from his chair and walking over to Harry. "What's the problem?"
"Hmmm?" Harry asked.
"The problem," Ron repeated. "You've been in quite the surly mood since you got here and I just wanted to know what got you all in a twist, though, I bet I don't have to think too hard as I bet it involves your wife. Am I right?"
Harry looked over at Ron quite crossly and said sarcastically, "Yeah, you're right. Happy, now?"
"Oh, yeah," Ron said, nodding. "I'm on bloody cloud nine."
Harry ran his hand impatiently through his hair.
"Listen, Ron. I really don't want to talk about Hermione."
"So, you're just going to be an absolute berk the entire day because you're upset about something that happened with the current, soon to be former Mrs. Potter?" Ron asked. Harry again glared at him, but Ron shook his head. "I didn't mention her name, per se. Did I?"
Harry sighed. "I don't know where to begin."
"Well, you don't have to begin at the start because I've pretty much been there for most of it, so just tell me what happened last night."
"I kissed her," Harry said simply.
Ron grinned. "Hehehe. Good job, Harry!"
Harry shook his head. "Yeah, you'd think so, wouldn't you? But, appearances would be deceiving. It's like two steps forward with her and one step back. Just when I think I'm making progress, that I'm finally getting my foot in the door, she slams that door right in my face."
Ron looked at his friend, confused. "I don't understand. You kissed her, right?"
Harry nodded. "And she kissed you back?" Again, Harry nodded. "So, did you, you know…shag?"
"Merlin's beard!" Harry exclaimed, laughing in spite of himself. "You're about to get married in a couple days time and you can't even say the word shag without blushing?"
This time, it was Ron who glared at Harry.
"Hey," Ron said defensively. "We're talking about you and my best female friend having sex. It's not something I'm entirely comfortable with. It's like thinking of my parents doing it. Logically, you know they had to have at one point…well, in my parents' case it would have seven times," his voice trailed off as he thought about what he'd just said and he visibly cringed. "Okay, let's get off of that train of thought."
Harry chuckled and then his facial expression got all serious again as he remembered exactly what had happened last night. How she'd responded to his kisses. How he'd seen that look of love in her eyes. He remembered how she'd looked as if she'd wanted him as badly as he wanted her. Things were going fine until he'd told her what he was feeling at that moment. With three little words, he seemed to jolt her back into reality and she pulled abruptly away from him. He related this to Ron who listened sympathetically.
"So where did she go?" Ron asked. "She didn't go back to the States, did she?"
"I don't think so," Harry said. "I checked with Luna and she hasn't seen her so my guess is she went to her folks'."
"Well," Ron said. "Pick out a suit and we'll go and see her and knock some sense into her."
Harry shook his head vehemently. "I think we should just give her some space."
"Last time you did that, she gave herself a continent's length of space," Ron reminded him. "You've got your chance to get her back, Harry. She's like a snitch."
Harry raised his eyebrow at Ron.
"Go with me on this," Ron said with a grin. "She's flying right past you. You dive after her, and she's just within your grasp, Harry. You're so close. You're not going to pull back, are you? You're going to go after that snitch with everything you've got."
"Trust you to put this in Quidditch terms," Harry said with a laugh.
"Well, I actually think it's a perfect analogy," Ron said, feeling puffed up. "Even Hermione would be impressed. In fact, I think once you've both made up, I'm going to tell her about it and she'll be upset that she didn't come up with it herself."
*******
Hermione spent the majority of the morning, sleeping in. She wasn't usually one to sleep late and honestly couldn't remember the last time she'd done so. But, with everything going on and her apprehension at seeing Harry, she'd decided to spend the morning in her old bedroom, in her old bed.
She'd been delighted to see her parents hadn't changed it much. She needed some sense of normalcy. If she'd found that it had changed, she wasn't sure if she could have handled it. She needed to be somewhere safe and this bedroom was that. She wasn't fooling herself into thinking she'd stay in that bedroom forever, but for now, she just wanted to stay in here and sulk.
The conversation with her mother had been quite therapeutic, in more ways than one. For one thing, she knew for sure how she felt. And for another, she was glad to have her mother to confide in again. Hermione had missed their little heart-to-heart talks over cups of cocoa and tea. She resolved that no matter what happened in her romantic life, she would never shut her parents out of her life again.
At around noon, she knew it was time to get up and face the day, whatever it held. She groaned as she pulled the duvet off of her and rubbed her eyes sleepily. She showered and put her makeup on and fixed her hair. She threw on the same clothes she had on the other night as she hadn't had the foresight to take a change of clothes when she'd left (or rather, fled) Harry's last night.
She had just finished pulling her hair back into a ponytail when her mother knocked lightly on the door.
Hermione had figured her parents would both be at work.
"Mum?" Hermione asked uncertainly as her mother opened the door. "I thought you were already at the office."
"You're dad went in," Karen said with a warm smile. "I thought I'd stay in with you."
Hermione smiled. "Mum. You didn't have to do that."
"I know," Karen said, leaning against the door. "But, you needed me. I'm glad to do it."
Her mother had a strange expression on her face and Hermione looked at her quizzically.
"What is it?"
Karen fidgeted. "You have a visitor, actually."
"Harry?"
Karen nodded. "And Ron, too."
Hermione sighed. "What do I say?"
"You'll know when you go downstairs, won't you?"
Hermione nodded and took a deep breath as she followed her mother slowly down the hall and then down the stairs. She saw Harry and Ron, standing in the foyer, talking. Her heart leapt as it always did at the sight of Harry. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a simple white cotton t-shirt, and trainers.
Ron grinned nervously when he saw Hermione. He was wearing track pants and a Chudley Canons t-shirt.
The four of them stood in the foyer, the silence nearly deafening. Harry and Hermione were both looking everywhere, but at each other and Karen suddenly brightened as she had an idea.
"Say, Ron," Karen said, looking over Harry's shoulder. "I know that you are probably hungry."
"Always," Ron said, beaming at her.
"Right before you arrived, I was contemplating fixing Hermione here some brunch. Why don't you come with me to help and I'll let you sample some of the bacon."
Ron rubbed his hands together. "That's a fantastic idea, Dr. Granger. I'm right behind you."
Harry looked up, alarmed. His moral support, as always, was thinking of his stomach. So much for being by his side to help him out, Harry mused as he watched Ron gleefully follow Dr. Granger out of the foyer and toward the kitchen.
"So," Harry said, uncomfortably.
"So," Hermione echoed. "How did you know I was here?"
Harry looked up from the floor and gave her a slight smile. "Lucky guess?"
Despite herself, Hermione smiled at him. From the kitchen they heard the sound of Ron raving over the bacon to Dr. Granger.
"How about we go outside in the garden?" Hermione asked.
Harry nodded and followed her out the door. They settled on one of the benches in the garden and sat there, listening to the silence between them.
They both were thinking too hard about what they wanted to say and how they wanted to say it.
Harry turned to Hermione and said, "I'm sorry," at the same time that she turned to him and said the exact same thing. They both looked taken aback by it and then both nervously laughed.
"You, first," he said grinning at her.
"No, you," she said, smiling shyly at him.
He exhaled. "I'm really sorry about what-no. No, I'm not going to say I'm sorry for kissing you. Because, to tell you the truth, Hermione, I've wanted to do it since you first came back."
Hermione looked at him, wanting to say something back, but couldn't find the words.
"What I am sorry about, though, is that what I did freaked you out so much that you had to run out like you did," he said. "Did I do something wrong? Because, you know I wouldn't have forced you to do-"
Hermione nodded vehemently. She put a hand on his knee. "Harry, of course, I know that! I just---sometimes, I don't know where I fit in. I have this life back in New York and then I come back here and this fits, too. Being with you yesterday in the park brought it all back to me, Harry."
She took his hand. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore, to tell you the truth. I don't like the person I became right after the baby."
Harry looked away.
"I know," she said softly. "I know we haven't talked about the miscarriage, really, but it's always with us. I need to tell you something, Harry."
Harry looked at her, his green eyes trained solely on hers. She was about to open her mouth when the sound of the backdoor opening caused her to look reluctantly away from Harry. Expecting either her mother or Ron to be there, she was gob smacked to find Andrew Keegan staring at her. She squinted, wondering if the sun was so bright it was making her hallucinate. It couldn't be Andrew, could it?
"Who's that?" Harry asked, watching as Hermione shakily got to her feet.
Andrew came walking toward them, with Dr. Granger and Ron in tow. Andrew's face brightened as he saw Hermione and he quickened his step to get to her. When he did, he surprised her by picking her up in a warm embrace and spinning her around.
"Mione," he said, after he set her back down on the ground. Her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment.
Harry and Ron exchanged a look.
Karen wore a strained smile as she looked at her daughter apologetically. "Look who's here, sweetheart."
"Andrew," Hermione whispered. "What are you doing here?'
Andrew looked over Hermione's shoulder and saw a familiar looking man sitting on the bench. The man got up from his seat and walked over to stand beside Hermione. Andrew recognized him at once. This was the man from the photographs. This was the man that Hermione was having such a great time with in the park. Who was this man, Andrew mused to himself. And what did he mean to Hermione.
"I missed you," Andrew said. "And I wanted to meet your parents."
Hermione gave a weak laugh.
Will someone please come snatch me up and take me away from this?
Andrew looked expectantly at Hermione and gestured toward the only member of this group he hadn't been formally introduced to.
"Hi," Andrew said finally, when it appeared that Hermione wasn't going to make the introduction. "I'm Andrew Keegan."
Harry forced a smile. "Harry Potter. Pleased to meet you."
Andrew nodded. "So, how do you know Mione?"
Ron stifled a laugh. Harry shot him a murderous look as did Hermione.
"We go way back," Harry said politely. "We went to school together."
Andrew looked at Hermione. "I thought you said you went to an all-girls school, Mione?"
Hermione looked up. She had that deer caught in headlights look to her face and her mother quickly tried to save the day.
"Well, the last two years of her schooling were at an all-girls academy, Andrew," Karen said quickly. "She spent her primary school days at a regular school with Harry and Ron, here. Two of her oldest friends."
Andrew nodded.
"Mione's never mentioned you before," Andrew said. "She did mention something about a Harriet and a Rhonda once, though."
Ron elbowed Hermione, who was standing behind Andrew. He angrily mouthed the word, "Rhonda?" to her. She shot him a warning look.
"Good old Harriet and Rhonda," Ron said with a teasing smirk. "Whatever happened to them, Mione?"
"I don't know," Hermione said, with clenched teeth at Ron. "I think Rhonda was involved in some terrible accident."
Ron looked away to try and not bust out into laughter.
Andrew looked back between Ron and Harry before looking at his fiancée.
"I really missed you," he said. "I had a few days off from the case and I thought I'd surprise you."
"Mission accomplished," she said weakly.
Karen looked at Andrew. "Say, Andrew. Why don't I fix you a bit of lunch? I'm sure you're starving and knackered from the flight. Ron and Harry, why don't you stay, too?"
Harry was about to reply in the negative when Ron answered gleefully. "Of course, Dr. Granger. We'd be happy to."
Andrew kissed Hermione on the cheek and put an arm around her. Hermione looked sheepishly at Harry.
"Good," Karen said awkwardly. "Well, Andrew, why don't I give you the grand tour of the house?"
Andrew nodded. "Sure."
"I'll, um, be right in," Hermione said, watching as Andrew followed her mother into the house. When the three of them were alone, Hermione turned to Ron and hit him, hard on the arm.
"Ronald Billius Weasley!" she exclaimed. "What are you playing at?"
"Actually," Ron corrected her with a grin. "My friends call me Rhonda."
Hermione glared at him.
"Oh, come on!" Ron said. "Like that guy bought that Harriet and Rhonda crap. He knew it was me and Harry. If he's smart like you said he was, he saw through all that."
Hermione gave Ron a look before she retook her seat on the bench. She put her head in her hands.
"You let him call you Mione?" Harry asked. It was the first words he'd spoken in quite some time.
"Yeah," Hermione shrugged. "Why?"
"Because you hate that nickname," Ron finished for Harry. "You once took ten points from a Ravenclaw who called you that."
"And you didn't speak to me for a couple of days when I called you that once," Harry chimed in.
"It's just a name," Hermione said defensively. "A nickname. He likes to call me that."
"You're not really going to marry him, are you?" Ron asked. "Aside from the fact that you aren't divorced yet, I really don't see you and him in a long-term basis with this guy."
Hermione shoulders sank. "I don't know what I'm going to do."
"Well, figure it out," Ron said sternly. "My wedding is in a couple of days and you're not going to screw it up with the Harry-Hermione soap opera drama."
"Is he going to take you to the wedding?" Harry asked.
"I don't know," Hermione said. "I'm just as shocked as you are to see him here. He's been
working on a big, high-profile case. I didn't think he'd be able to pull himself away from it."
"He can't take you to the wedding," Ron said. "He doesn't know you're a witch, Hermione. He's going to be more than a little freaked out to see the lot that's coming to my wedding, which includes a werewolf and a half-giant, to say the least. How you going to explain that away, Hermione?"
"Leave her alone, Ron," Harry said protectively. "You are enjoying this way too much."
"And it's just getting better."
Hermione looked up and glared at him.
"We, um, better get back inside before he gets suspicious," Hermione said, getting to her feet once more, followed by an apprehensive Harry and a positively cheerful Ron.
*********
The impromptu lunch went better than expected. Ron, whose mouth was full most of the time, kept his comments to a minimum. Whenever he looked as if he was about to say something cheeky, Hermione or Harry would kick him in the shin hard under the table.
More than once, Hermione found herself stealing glances with Harry. How she wished she had the opportunity to talk to him. She would have told him the truth. She was going to tell him the truth, until Andrew's unexpected arrival.
She was helping her mother clear the plates away when her mother had a call. She had to take it and went into her study. The idea of leaving Andrew alone in the dining room with Harry and Ron for too long didn't appeal to Hermione at all, so she was trying her best to hurry.
She wasn't fast enough as a few seconds later Andrew came into the kitchen, laden with plates.
"Your friend Ron sure can put it away, can't he? Andrew said with a laugh. She took the plates from him and set them in the sink.
"So, your friends seem nice," Andrew said, leaning against the counter.
"Why didn't you tell me your two best friends in school were named Harry and Ron? Why'd you tell me that they were named Harriet and Rhonda?"
Hermione felt sick as she looked at him.
"I, um, I haven't really been all that honest with you, Andrew," Hermione said, putting a hand to her forehead.
Andrew stepped closer to her.
"Who is Harry, really?" Andrew asked her. "What does he mean to you, Hermione?"
Hermione thought long and hard about this question. Harry…what did he mean to her? That little voice in her head said one thing. One thing that kept echoing and echoing in her mind.
Harry means everything to me.
As she looked up at Andrew and saw his eyes pleading for some honesty with her, she knew she couldn't lie. Not anymore.
She took a deep breath.
"You're right, Andrew," she said. "Harry's not just my friend."
Andrew steeled himself for what came next. What she said, however, wasn't at all what he expected.
"Harry's my husband," she said quietly.