Author's note: Thanks for the reviews and I apologize for the delay in this one again. I wrote it one way, but hated how it came out and had to start all over. Still not sure if I like how it turned out, but for better or worse, this is it! Please tell me what you think!
On a side note, I now have a livejournal! If you would like to get some insight into my life (don't everyone go at once, now!)…you should go on over there and check it out. I also posted a phone post, so if you were curious as to what I sounded like…you can hear that too. A slight warning for you…I have a southern accent! Anyhoo, please check that out and if you haven't read the story I'm writing with Heaven "Dirty Dancing", please read that, too!
Links:
My live journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/amynoelle/
Link to Dirty Dancing fanfiction: http://fanfiction.portkey.org/story/2119
Chapter 13
Nobody Knows It But Me
"I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
And I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm trembling at night and
Nobody knows it but me
I lie awake it's a quarter past three
I'm screaming at night as if
I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is calling you
And nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get?
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle
It's been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say
Just how I feel
A million years from now, you know
I'll be loving you still"
(Tony Rich Project, "Nobody Knows It But Me)
"Your husband?" Andrew repeated, dumbfounded. "You, um, you mean your ex-husband, right?"
Hermione shook her head.
"No," she said quietly, leaning against the kitchen counter for support. "He's my husband."
Andrew stared back at her, letting the words sink in.
"Were you going to tell me about this?" he asked.
She didn't answer him. Instead, she focused her eyes on the pattern of the hardwood floor.
"Hermione," Andrew began, taking a few tentative steps toward Hermione. "I don't understand what's going on."
She picked up a dishtowel from the counter and began wringing it in her hands nervously. "He's my husband, Andrew." She looked up and met his questioning gaze. The can of worms had been opened and there was no turning back now, she thought as she looked at him. "We've been separated for nearly two years. I came back here to finalize my divorce."
Andrew nodded. "Okay, but you've been here for two weeks. How long does it take for him to sign his name to divorce papers? You should have been in and out of London in one day."
"It's complicated," she replied. One look at Andrew's face and she knew that what she'd just said wasn't what he wanted to hear. They both knew it wasn't an answer, but an excuse.
"What's so complicated?" Andrew asked sarcastically. "You put pen to paper and you sign your name?"
He began to pace in front of her, thinking. She could almost hear the wheels spinning in his head as he tried to work it all out in his mind.
"Unless," he said, snapping his fingers. "Unless, of course, you came back here to see if there was still some sparks left in the old marriage, huh? Is that it, Hermione? Or did you decide to use your current boyfriend to make the estranged husband jealous? Jesus Christ, this is better than a soap opera!"
She vehemently shook her head. "No, Andrew. It's not like that at all!"
"Why don't you tell me what it is like because I have no idea who you are," he said angrily. "There's this girl that I know back in New York, who I love. But, this person standing before me now…she's a stranger. She's got all these secrets bottled up inside her that I had no idea about."
"I understand that you're angry," Hermione began, but her voice died away when Andrew rounded on her.
"You have no idea what this is like!" he retorted.
"You're right, I don't," she said rationally. "I don't. But, I would like to try and explain to you…"
"You can't explain this to me, Hermione," Andrew said. "This isn't something you can explain away. You lied to me. We're to be married and you lied to me."
She sighed as tears welled up in her eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time in two days. "Harry and I
married right out of school, Andrew. We were kids when we got married."
"Okay, so you were kids when you got married," Andrew interrupted. "You made a mistake when you were a teenager. Hell, we all do something like that. You could have just told me."
Hermione looked over at Andrew. He had it all wrong, she thought. Her marriage, though it had its good and bad moments, had never been a mistake. No matter what happened, she would never, ever see it that way. She and Harry both had made mistakes and would surely make others in the future, but the marriage, itself, hadn't been a mistake.
"It wasn't like that," she said softly. "It wasn't like that at all, Andrew. Harry and I have a very…"
"Funny way of getting a divorce?" Andrew interjected. His tone was dripping with sarcasm.
"I deserved that," Hermione said with a wry smile.
In the dining room, just outside the kitchen, Ron was desperately pressing his ear to the kitchen door. His job was made that much harder because it was a swinging door and any sudden movement would cause the door to move, which would alert the kitchen's occupants of his presence.
"Is it any wonder you never would have made a very good auror?" Harry asked, amused as Ron tried to steady the door.
"Sod off," Ron said, without looking back at Harry. "You know if I didn't think I'd miss something, I'd apparate back to the Burrow and nick a pair of those Extendable Ears. I think Mum's still got a pair she took from the twins."
"Ron," Harry said, rolling his eyes. "Get away from that bloody door!"
Ron turned around finally and looked at his best friend. "You mean to tell me that you have no interest, whatsoever, in what's being said in that kitchen?'
"Of course I do," Harry replied. "But, I'm not going to stand there like an idiot with my ear pressed to a door."
"Well," Ron retorted quietly. "If you were an idiot with his ear pressed to the door, you'd be hearing Hermione give Andrew the condensed version of your marriage."
Ron did a quick countdown and sure enough, before he hit one, Harry, too, was standing beside him, trying to listen in on the conversation between Hermione and Andrew.
"You're so easy," Ron said with a laugh.
"Shut up," Harry snapped. "I can't hear anything."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I didn't want it to be this way," she continued after she'd given Andrew a brief history of her marriage to Harry. She conveniently left out the witch and wizard part of their lives, figuring that one exposed secret was enough for now.
"So, you grew apart?" Andrew reiterated. "And you wanted to start over so you moved to New York?"
Hermione nodded.
"And you hadn't spoken to or seen him since then?"
Again, Hermione nodded.
"But, for all intents and purposes, your marriage to him is over?" Andrew asked pointedly.
Hermione looked up, surprised at his question. On the other side of the door, Harry and Ron exchanged a look. This was the question they'd all been waiting for.
Hermione looked at Andrew and thought seriously about how to respond to this question. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt Andrew. He had been quite good to her. He adored her. And she cared a great deal about him.
"Yes," she said, looking away from Andrew. "It's over, Andrew."
"I guess if we're being totally honest," Andrew said a few moments later. "I should tell you what really brought me to London. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the photographs. He handed them to Hermione who took them with shaking hands.
As she looked at each photo, she felt her stomach sink. There she and Harry were in Hyde Park, that day they'd had their picnic.
"How did you get these?" she asked, thumbing through the photos.
Andrew sighed. "My father hired someone to follow you while you were in London."
Hermione felt anger rise up in her. She'd known that Joe Keegan wasn't her biggest fan, but she honestly never dreamed in a million years that he'd sink this low.
"Your father hired someone to follow me and take pictures?" she asked, shoving the photos back at Andrew.
"Don't get angry, Hermione," Andrew said, putting the photos back in his pocket. "I was just as upset as you were when he gave them to me. I had no idea he was doing something like this. But, when I saw those photos, I saw the look in your eyes. I was going to tell Dad that this guy had to be some old friend or a cousin, but I couldn't honestly say that because I saw how you looked at him in those pictures. I saw how he looked at you."
"It was just an innocent picnic," Hermione answered quickly.
"Innocent?" Andrew asked. "Why can't you look me in the eye when you say that? Where have you been staying since you've been here?"
Hermione's cheeks flushed.
"Uh-huh," Andrew said, shaking his head. "I knew that, too. Well, that pretty much answers that for me."
Hermione opened her mouth to explain, but no words came. She'd known what kind of trouble it would be if she stayed at Harry's and yet, she'd done it anyway.
"Well," Andrew said quietly. "Well, let's just settle this once and for all."
He took Hermione firmly by the hand and led her toward the kitchen door. He looked back at her before pushing the swinging door and to both their surprise, a loud thud sound followed as if something had fallen to the floor.
The door opened and Ron was revealed to be sprawled out on the floor. He looked sheepishly up at them and gingerly rubbed his forehead, which now bore a red welt.
"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "Were you listening at the door?"
"No," Ron said, getting to his feet. "I was about to come in and see what was taking you and Andrew so long."
If it had been any other time, Hermione would have found it quite humorous, but she didn't feel like laughing and even if she did, now wasn't the time and this wasn't the place.
Hermione looked around the room. It was empty, save for Hermione, Ron, and Andrew.
"Where's Harry?" she asked Ron.
"He, um, had to leave," Ron said quietly.
"What for?" she asked. "He didn't hear what we were saying in there, did he?"
"He might have," Ron said, avoiding looking at Hermione.
"Oh no!" Hermione said morosely. "Ron, where did Harry go?"
"He had an appointment at Flourish & Blotts," Ron replied. "Something important, he said."
"Andrew, I'm really sorry about this, but I have to go find Harry," she said, making her way toward the door. Andrew though was right behind her.
"What?" she asked.
"You don't have to follow him," Andrew said with a grin. "With any luck, he's probably gone to sign the papers."
"Andrew, you don't understand," Hermione said. "I'll come and talk to you later this evening. Just let me go and do this, please. I have to talk to Harry about something. I can't leave and have him think----well, I just have to see him."
Without waiting for his response, Hermione took off out the door and when she was safe out of sight, she ducked behind an alley and apparated into Diagon Alley.
Since returning to London, she hadn't ventured into many of her favorite places. There hadn't been time. As she set foot into one of her favorite stores in the universe, she couldn't help but be hit by a wave of memories. She could still remember how Harry and Ron used to have to drag her out of the bookshop each year. She used to wonder what it would be like to work in a place like this. One night when she and Harry were talking in bed, she'd told him how she'd once thought she'd own her own bookshop one day and it'd be just as good, if not better, than Flourish & Blotts.
Someday when she wasn't trying to find her husband, she promised she'd come back into the store and see what new books were available. The shop wasn't as busy as it usually was, as it was summer vacation and the Hogwarts' students wouldn't be back to buy supplies until August. She looked around shelves and upstairs for Harry and didn't see him. Maybe Ron had got it wrong. Maybe Harry was in Quality Quidditch Supplies, instead.
She was about to walk out of the shop when she heard Harry's voice. She ducked quickly behind a bookshelf.
"Yes, sir," he was saying. "I should have the final deposit to you this afternoon."
"It's a wonderful investment, Mr. Potter," an older gentleman dressed in brown robes was saying. "You're just the type of person to take an enterprise like this and run with it. I can't think of anyone else I'd like to leave my shop to than you, Mr. Potter."
Harry grinned and shook hands with the man.
"I'll bring by the final paperwork when we meet tomorrow," the man was saying to Harry.
"Sounds good," Harry said. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."
Hermione stood back and watched as Harry walked toward her. He didn't see her as he walked out of the shop. She couldn't just let him walk away though. They needed to talk.
"Harry," she said, calling to him when she'd stepped just outside the shop.
He turned around.
"Hermione?"
She closed the gap between them quickly.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"I should ask the same of you," he said pointedly. "I told Ron not to tell you where I'd gone."
"What are you doing at Flourish & Blotts, Harry?" Hermione asked, stepping closer to him.
"I just had a meeting," he said evasively. "So, when do you and Andrew leave?"
"What?" She asked, taken aback at both the question and the tone of his voice.
"I heard what you told Andrew, alright? I heard you tell him our marriage was over. "
"Harry-"
"No, need to explain," he cut her off. "I may not be as smart as you, but I heard what you said loud and clear. It finally sunk in for me, okay."
He laughed. "I actually thought I had a chance to get you back until today. I really did. I guess I was a fool all along, huh?"
He pulled something from his pocket and Hermione could see it was the thick envelope she'd handed over to him the day she'd arrived back in London.
"Here," he said, handing her the envelope. "You'll see that I have signed each copy. Once they're processed, just send me a copy, okay?" She took it with shaking hands and stared at it.
He gave a weak smile and turned on his heel to walk away. Hermione stared after him. Coming to her senses, she ran to catch up to him.
"This is it?" she asked, holding up the envelope.
"I guess so," Harry said with a shrug. "It's what you wanted, isn't it?"
Hermione didn't answer.
"Or do you even know what that is, anymore?" he asked her.
"Why are you being like this?" she asked quietly.
"I've been waiting for you to come back for two years, Hermione," he said as he absently ran a hand nervously through his hair. "I put my life on hold thinking that if I did this or if I tried this, you would come back. And then to my utter amazement, you show up out of the blue and fall right back into my life. So, I thought I'd throw on the old charm and show you how things used to be and maybe you'd want to stay with me."
"Harry…"
"No," he said, shaking his head. "I heard you in the kitchen, Hermione. You told Andrew that you were married before, but you left it at that, didn't you? You didn't tell him about the baby? You didn't tell him about who you really are? Are you ashamed of it?"
"No," she said shaking her head. "Of course, I'm not ashamed of it. But, you should just put yourself in his place, Harry. He'd just found out we were married! If he found out that I was a witch and all that other stuff; that would have been way too much for him to handle at one time."
"All that other stuff, as you call it, made you who you are, Hermione," he said with a rueful laugh. "It's who you are. It's what made me fall in love with you. This person who's engaged to Andrew Keegan or whatever his name is…I don't know her."
"I'm the same person I always was," Hermione said defensively.
He shook his head. "No, you're not. And that's okay. You were right before when you said we weren't children anymore. It's time we grew up. There you are. I finally see things the way you wanted. Happy now?"
Hermione gaped at him, her mouth open.
"Have a nice life, Hermione," Harry said, leaning in and kissing her quickly on the cheek. "I hope you and Andrew will be very happy together."
With that, he turned and walked away from her. She wanted to call after him; to tell him that he was wrong.
Tears fell silently down her cheeks as she watched him disappear into the distance. She finally had what she thought she'd wanted. He'd signed the papers. Why wasn't she happy about it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hermione returned home to her parents' house a few minutes later. Karen and Ron sat in the sitting room with her, waiting for her to tell them what had happened. She hadn't said much upon return. She'd asked where Andrew was and Karen explained that he'd gone back to his hotel. He'd left the hotel name and number for her.
She nodded. She didn't want to see him now.
And although she felt as if she didn't deserve Ron and her mother's sympathy, she was glad that they were both there to provide a shoulder to cry on.
Lord knows I need it.
"I wish someone would tell me what to do," Hermione finally said, setting her tea cup down on the coffee table. She gave Ron a half-hearted smile. "You don't have to stay here with me. You must have loads of wedding plans to finalize."
"Not really," Ron said, shaking his head. "I'm the groom, remember? All I have to do is show up and look handsome. I've already got the second part down. Just have to show up on time and there you are."
Hermione couldn't help laughing. "How can you do that?"
"What?" Ron asked.
"Make me laugh at the worst parts of my life?" she replied, with a rueful smile.
Ron grinned at her. "It's a gift, really. I didn't ask for it, I just ended up with it. I don't question it."
Hermione patted his shoulder. "You're better to me than I deserve, Ron."
"Don't be so hard on yourself," Ron said sympathetically. "You've gone through a lot these past few years."
"You have, sweetheart," Karen chimed in.
Hermione shook her head sadly. "It's no excuse for what I did and you know it."
She ran a hand through her hair and sank lower into the sofa.
"Hermione," Ron said quietly. "You know for two very smart people, you and Harry are acting like idiots."
Hermione looked over at her friend, surprised at his words.
"For once, I'm not joking," Ron said his expression quite serious. "You still love each other. And yet, you're both apart."
"It's not that simple, Ron," Hermione replied. She leaned forward and picked up her cup of tea and took a sip. It wasn't even warm now, but she didn't care.
"Bloody hell, it's not," Ron said. "You need to talk to each other. Set this straight. Tell that Andrew bloke that he's out of luck."
"Andrew means a great deal to me," Hermione replied.
"Meaning a great deal to and loving are quite two different things," Karen pointed out. Hermione looked at her mother in surprise. "What?"
"You said that Andrew meant a great deal to you?" Karen asked. Hermione nodded. "Do you love him?"
"Mum, we're getting married," Hermione said, holding up her left hand and pointing to her engagement ring. "I'm wearing his ring!"
"I didn't ask you about all that," Karen said pointedly. "I asked you if you loved him."
Hermione looked thoughtful as she pondered herm other's question.
"I don't know," Hermione said honestly.
"Maybe it's time you found out," Karen said, giving her a daughter a pat on the hand. "Go talk to
Andrew and see how you feel."
"Well, go sort it out," Ron said. "Do you know what hotel he's staying at?"
Hermione nodded. "But, I don't know what to say to him."
"Oh that's rubbish and you know it. You always know what to say," Ron said, giving her a hand to help her up. "Even when you don't, you have been known to drone on for hours at a time like you know exactly what you're talking about."
Hermione stared at him. "Are you saying I'm long-winded?"
"Among other things," he said, taking her hand and leading her to the door. "You go on and sort this out. And for the love of Merlin sort it out before Saturday. I don't want my best man and matron of honor shooting daggers at each other over Luna and I, okay?"
"Ron," Hermione said hesitantly. "This might not be the best time. I should give him some time to cool off and…"
She saw the stern expression on his face.
"Okay," she said resolutely. "I was never a procrastinator, was I?"
"There's an inner procrastinator in you, Hermione," Ron said, opening the door. "She's begging to come out…at a later date, mind you."
Hermione laughed and kissed her friend on the cheek. "You are one in a million, Ron Weasley."
"Remember that next time you say I have 'the emotional range of a teaspoon'," he called to her. He watched her walk down the sidewalk and smiled.
Karen beamed at Ron. "You know, I underestimated you, Ron."
Ron raised an eyebrow at her. "People always say that to me. I've got a lot more going on upstairs than most people think. I don't always think about food and Quidditch, you know."
Karen laughed as she closed the door behind her.
"Dr. Granger?" Ron asked sheepishly.
"Yeah?"
"Do you still have those oatmeal raisin cookies?" Ron asked with a charming smile.
"Follow me," she said, leading him toward the kitchen. "You deserve a reward for how good you did
today."
He beamed back at her.
As Ron sat at the counter eating his cookies, he couldn't help wondering how it would go with the whole triangle of Harry/Hermione/Andrew. He knew how hurt Harry was when he heard Hermione tell Andrew her marriage was over. It was going to take a miracle to get things right again, but Harry and Hermione always thrived under pressure. He hoped that this case would be no different. And he might be biased, but his money was riding on Harry and Hermione. Andrew didn't stand a chance.