Author's note: Sorry for the delay…I've got a good excuse…terrible cold had me down and out for awhile…but I am feeling much better and I hope you like this chapter…It was a lot easier to write and contains some flashback scenes from my previous story "Circle of Friends" and from the first two chapters of this story.
Please read and review, guys!
Chapter Fourteen
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
"They asked me how I knew
My true love was true
I of course replied
"Something here inside
Cannot be denied"
They said someday you'll find
All who love are blind
When your heart's on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your eyes"
(The Platters, "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes")
After enjoying a quick cup of tea and cookies with Hermione's mum, Ron decided it might be a good idea to check in with Harry. He apparated straightaway to just outside the cottage and knocked on the door.
"Potter," Ron called, trying to look inside the window, but finding that the curtains were closed. He heard Sam's plaintive barking and heard the dog running toward the door. He tried knocking again and when no one answered, decided to just let himself in…if the door was unlocked. To his relief, it was. That relief was quickly squelched when Sam bounded for Ron and nearly knocked him to the ground.
"You are possessed," Ron said, semi-angrily to the dog as he regained his balance. "They can tell me I'm crazy, but I will never believe anything to the contrary."
Sam sniffed once and then bounded back for the couch in the sitting room.
"Harry?" Ron called out.
"In here," Harry's familiar voice called to him from the kitchen.
Ron nodded and looked as menacingly as he could at Sam, who was perched comfortably on the couch. Sam, unconvinced by Ron's tough guy act, simply growled, which caused Ron to jump and stick his tongue out at the dog.
"Very mature, Ron," Harry said, watching the scene unfold.
"Your dog is possessed, Harry."
"I don't know why you say that when you are the only person he acts like that around."
"I can't help it if your dog hasn't got any taste," Ron retorted with a smile.
Harry gave a half-hearted laugh and breezed past Ron and sat down on the sofa. Sam moved a little to the left so he could rest his head on Harry's lap.
"So," Harry said. "What brings you here?"
Ron took a seat in the armchair and sat back. "Well, I just came from Hermione's parents' house."
Harry nodded and tried to act as if he didn't care, but Ron wasn't buying that for a minute.
"She said you signed the papers," Ron said quietly.
"Yeah," Harry said. "It was past time, wasn't it? I kept her waiting long enough. So, she's got what she wanted."
"You don't believe that," Ron said, looking at his friend, who was trying to look everywhere else but at Ron. "Unbelievable! The two of you are going to send me to St. Mungo's before my time. I can't do this, Harry."
"Can't do what?"
"I feel like a kid with divorced parents," Ron said as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. "What am I going to do…split my time between the two of you? Are you going to fight me for custody? Because, I will tell you this right now, I'm not going to chose between you. And I shouldn't bloody have to!"
Harry looked at his friend finally. "Don't be so dramatic, Ron."
"I'm not being dramatic," Ron said. He thought for a moment. "Okay, I am being dramatic, but if you can be stupid, I can be dramatic. So, you signed the papers? That's it."
Harry nodded. "Yeah, that's it."
To Harry's surprise, Ron started to laugh.
"What's so funny?" Harry asked angrily.
"You, that's what!" Ron retorted. "The great boy-who-lived has given up, huh? Going to let the girl get away without a fight?"
"This isn't a movie, Ron," Harry said. "This is my life. And why should I keep holding on to someone who doesn't want me and can't wait to start her life over with someone else?"
"Because you still love her and she still loves you," Ron replied. "That's why. The two of you have already pissed away two years being stubborn and grieving the loss of your child alone, when all you really needed to do was talk to each other."
"We've talked enough," Harry said quietly. "She's made her decision, Ron. I can't force her to come back to me. She loves this guy Andrew."
"No, she doesn't," Ron said firmly.
"Yes, she does."
"No, she doesn't."
"Yes, she does."
"Oh, for the love of Merlin, Harry! She doesn't! You didn't see the look on her face when she came back to her parents' house with those papers. She looked as if the wind had been knocked out of her. Ever since I've known her, I've only seen her get like that when you were in danger or the two of you had a terrible row. She loves you, mate."
"And you know that can't be bad?" Harry finished, trying to lighten the mood with Beatles' lyrics, but his own smile faded when he saw the look on Ron's face.
"That's right!" Ron said happily. "And you know that can't be bad!"
Harry shooed Sam away and got to his feet.
"It's over, Ron," Harry said.
"What were you doing at Flourish & Blotts this afternoon?" Ron asked. "Is that the big secret?"
Harry looked away from Ron.
"I bought it," Harry said simply.
"You bought a bookshop?"
Harry nodded. "I heard it was for sale and I inquired about it months ago and I've been working on a deal and saving up money to buy it. Everything came together and when she came back, it just seemed like everything was falling into place. At first, I thought I was doing it just for her, but I think it's going to be good for me, too. I have some great ideas and I want to try and modernize it a bit without it losing the quality that has made it what it is. I was thinking of putting a coffee shop in there and maybe having some bands come and play on weekends."
Harry stopped talking and looked over at Ron, who was grinning at him.
"I know it sounds stupid," Harry said sheepishly.
"No," Ron said, shaking his head. "It sounds brilliant."
"Well, it better be," Harry said with a wistful smile. "It'll be my life for the next few years."
"Did you tell her any of this?" Ron asked probingly.
Harry shook his head. "I wanted to. The timing never seemed right…and after what I heard in the kitchen this afternoon, I don't think I need to worry about it, do you?"
Ron didn't say anything. For a moment, they both stood there in silence.
Harry turned suddenly and smiled at his friend. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
"What?"
"Your stag night, remember?" Harry asked, trying to change the subject. "You do remember that Luna wasn't about to let you have a stag weekend so Fred and George and that git Malfoy were going to take you out for a couple of fire whiskeys at The Hog's Head."
"It wasn't a matter of Luna not 'letting me' have a stag weekend," Ron said defensively. "She and I both agreed that we were too old for childish things like that."
"Yeah," Harry said. "That and the fact that she said if she caught you within two feet of a stripper, she was going to hex you so badly that your great-grandchildren would be talking about it."
Ron's cheeks reddened a little. "Well, that sort of sealed the deal. It's good to be a little afraid of your girlfriend, isn't it? I mean, it keeps you on your toes, right?"
"Whatever you say," Harry said, grabbing his jacket from the sofa. "Let's go and let you enjoy one of your last nights as a free man and my first night as one."
Ron nodded and followed his friend toward the door.
"More like your last night of being a complete idiot when it comes to your wife," Ron said pointedly.
"I'll make a deal with you, Ron," Harry said. "If by some odd chance that Fred and George have scheduled a stripper in this evening's events, I will not say a word to Luna if you don't mention Hermione the rest of the evening, okay?"
"Okay," Ron said, trying to look as serious as possible. As he closed the door behind them, Ron couldn't help thinking that he had no intention of keeping that promise to Harry.
*************
Hermione stood out side Andrew's hotel room, contemplating either running as fast as she could in the other direction or knocking on the door.
She took a deep breath and told herself that she'd done enough running away. It was now time to confront her problem, so to speak. She knocked on the door.
Andrew opened it a few moments later and kissed her on the cheek.
"I'm glad you called," he said, ushering her inside. "I was just on the phone with the airline. We can fly back to New York on the redeye. I booked two seats."
Hermione nodded as she sat down on one of the double beds.
"You didn't bring your things?" he asked.
"Hmmm?"
"Your luggage?" he repeated. "You didn't bring it?"
"Um, no," she said, trying to stay focused. "I didn't think you wanted to leave straightaway."
"No point sticking around here, right?" he asked, with a smile. "We can just mail those papers to your husband. If all else fails, we'll take him to court, Hermione. He can't keep refusing to sign."
Hermione looked up at Andrew. "He did sign the papers."
"What?" he asked, taking a seat beside her on the bed.
Hermione pulled the envelope out of her purse and handed it over to Andrew. He looked at her and took the envelope and quickly opened it and looked down at the papers. He leafed through them quickly and stared back at her, a look of surprise on his face.
"What?" she asked softly.
"Well, he signed them," Andrew said, handing the papers back to her. "But, you haven't."
"Don't be silly," Hermione said, taking them and leafing through them herself and seeing that she indeed hadn't signed the papers.
"No worries," Andrew said, leaning back and reaching over toward the bedside table to get a pen. "Here you go. Sign them now. We can file them when we get back to the states and I have a few connections and I'll see that they're processed right away. No one ever has to know that you were married."
Hermione sat, frozen in place. Her hands were shaking as she looked down at the divorce papers. Andrew held the pen out to her. She forced herself to look at him, and she knew she should take the pen and sign her name. But, she just couldn't do it.
As she sat there, a flood of memories came over her.
Their first date…
They walked out of the restaurant and toward the movie theatre in silence. They were both enjoying each other's company so much that words weren't really necessary. Harry had taken her hand as they walked and she hadn't been surprised by it at all. It had just felt right, much as most of the evening had.
Hermione didn't even notice that they'd reached the cinema. She smiled at Harry as he pulled her toward the ticket booth.
"Two for Breakfast at Tiffany's," Harry said, handing over some money to the ticket taker.
Hermione gasped. "That's one of my favorite movies!"
"I know," Harry said. "You know it's not like I just picked you up and this is our first date. I've been your friend for six years, Hermione. I would hope I would know things about you by now."
Harry let go of her hand to open the door to the theatre, but Hermione stopped in her tracks.
"What?" Harry asked, looking at her.
"Um, you consider this a date?" she asked him uncertainly.
"Yes," he said nervously. "I mean, I asked you out and you said yes and we've been to dinner and now we're going to see a movie. I mean, this is sort of a date when you think about it."
He noticed her expression and quickly stammered, "I mean, you don't have to call it that unless you really want to and then it wouldn't matter because you know that's the problem with everything these days, people having to put labels on everything."
"Harry!" Hermione interrupted, smiling at him. He was adorable when he was uncomfortable.
"Yes?" he asked her.
"If you wanted to call this a date, I wouldn't mind," she said softly. "In fact, I'd like that a lot."
He smiled at her.
"Then, it's a date," he said, ushering her through the doors.
"Definitely," Hermione said, smiling at him. "Besides, guys don't usually go to 'chick flicks' without having an ulterior motive."
"Oh, so you think I've planned this whole thing to seduce you, do you?" Harry asked her with a look of indignation.
"Yes, well, you're plans have been foiled, Potter," Hermione said, smiling at him. "I've seen right through you."
"Well, I guess my skills are going to need some work," Harry said, as they walked toward the theatre their movie was showing in.
"You have skills now?" she asked him, teasingly. "I had no idea."
"Yes, well," Harry said, laughing. "They're still in the developmental stage, but I have them nonetheless."
Hermione giggled as she and Harry found seats in the middle of the theatre.
She couldn't believe this was happening. She was on a date. She was on a date with her best friend, to top that all off. Few things in life were perfect, she thought, but this was about as close to perfect as you could get.
***********
Their first kiss…
"I like you, Hermione," he said nervously. "I've liked you for a long time."
"We're best friends," she said, avoiding his gaze. "I would hope that you liked me."
"No," he said. "Please look at me."
She did and he felt her hand shaking somewhat in his.
"I don't just want to be your friend, Hermione," he said. "I want us to be more."
She didn't say anything. She just stared back at him.
"I've not been able to think of anything else but you for a long time," he said. "I know it sounds a little cheesy, and maybe it is, but it's the truth. I want to be more than just your friend."
She still didn't speak a word.
"You're killing me here," he said, with a slight laugh. "Now, would be a great time for you to say something."
She didn't think she could speak. She looked into his green eyes and felt herself leaning in to him. Their faces were inches apart. She closed her eyes and felt his lips brush against hers. She felt his arm rest on her waist as he pulled her closer and he deepened the kiss.
"Does that answer your question?" she asked breathlessly when they finally pulled away from each other.
He nodded.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time," he said. She smiled and rested her head on his shoulder as they both looked at the fire, feeling content and happy.
"I've wanted you to do that for a long time," she said happily.
*************
Harry's Proposal…
They'd been outside for nearly 20 minutes and Harry hadn't said anything. They'd sat at the picnic table in the backyard. Hermione had told him all about her disastrous conversation with her parents, but he'd only contributed a "uh-huh" and a "yeah" when prompted. His mind was no doubt elsewhere. And if she wasn't mistaken, he was quite nervous about something. Every few seconds, he looked over at her as if he was about to say something, but he would stop short before saying what he so obviously wanted to say.
"Harry?" she asked him, as he paced in front of her for what seemed like the thousandth time.
"Hmmm?" he asked, distractedly.
"What are you on about?" she asked him, concerned.
He stood still and looked at her.
She put a hand to her mouth. "Oh! It's something bad, isn't it? What is it? Haven't we had enough bad news for a lifetime! Please tell me it's not anything bad!"
He stepped toward her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"It's not bad," he said reassuringly. "At least, I don't think it is. I'm kind of hoping that you won't either."
She looked at him, her eyebrows raised. "Okay. What is it?"
"I've thought about this for a long time," he said, running a hand nervously through his hair. "I've even practiced what I'd say to you in front of the mirror. Crazy, I know!"
She smiled. She knew all too well about practicing speeches in front of a mirror.
"I just wanted everything to be perfect and I wanted to say all the right things," he said. "And then I figured what my problem was. You can think about something all you want to, but you aren't really going to know what you'd do or say until that moment comes and you have to do it."
He took her hands in his and she smiled warmly at him, willing him to go on.
"Just say it," she said, stroking his hand with her thumb. "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"
He nodded. With a deep breath and a smile, he looked into her eyes and he knew what he wanted to say. And he knew that this was the right time to say it.
"We've been through so much together," he began. "You've been by my side through everything---good and bad. You've been the one constant in my life. When I've felt lost or like the whole world was falling apart, I could look to you for comfort and you'd always be there. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I'm grateful to whatever brought us together."
Tears shone in her eyes as he spoke.
"And I know we're young and I know people will tell us we're crazy," he said, with a slight laugh. "But, if you'll have me, Hermione Jane Granger…" his voice trailed off and he let go of her hands. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Hermione felt her hands shaking as he got down on one knee. He opened up the box and she saw the most stunning sterling silver diamond engagement ring.
"If you'll have me," he repeated, looking up at her. "I want to marry you. Will you marry me?"
She didn't know what to say. She was stunned, shocked, amazed, and touched all at the same time.
"What do you say?" he prompted, smiling up at her hopefully. "Yes, no, get lost? What will it be?"
She gave a laugh as she smiled back at him, through her tears.
"You want to marry me?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"No," he said. "Professor McGonagall! Of course, you!"
She chuckled.
"Well?" he asked her.
"This is a bit sudden, Harry," she said thoughtfully. "We're only 17."
"I'll be 18 in July and so will you in September," he said.
She grinned.
He got to his feet and dusted the dirt from his trousers.
"You don't have to answer now," he said, a touch of disappointment evident in his voice. "Take all the time you need to decide. I don't want to pressure you. This is a big step."
She nodded.
"We'd better, um, get back inside," he said calmly. This wasn't how he'd expected it to go. Maybe Ron was right, he should have waited.
Hermione was shaking her head at him.
"What?" he asked her, confused.
"Harry!" she said, getting off the picnic table and walking over to him.
"I don't need time to think about it," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"You don't?"
She shook her head.
"I'll marry you," she said, her eyes twinkling at him.
"You will?"
Again, she nodded. "Unless you've changed your mind?"
This time, he shook his head vehemently. "Not a chance."
He wrapped her up in his arms and twirled her around, and she laughed with delight.
When he finally put her down, she wrapped her arms around him and they kissed, sort of putting a seal on the deal. When he broke the kiss, he pulled the ring from the box and put it on Hermione's trembling finger.
"That's just as it should be," Harry said, giving her a kiss.
"It's perfect," Hermione agreed. "Absolutely perfect."
***********
Their wedding night…
Harry stood at the end of the walkway in front of the minister, who smiled at him as they waited for Hermione and Ron. She had found a bouquet of tropical flowers and she held them with trembling hands. Ron had linked his arm with hers as they walked down the walkway toward Harry.
The ceremony was short and simple and both Harry and Hermione held each other's glances as they listened to the words the minister said and as they repeated their vows to each other.
Hermione managed not to cry until Harry slipped the wedding band onto her finger.
******
Honeymoon…
She was wearing an ivory lace, chemise nightgown with spaghetti straps. The ocean breeze had frizzed her hair up some and she'd had to apply a liberal amount of Sleek-Easy on her hair to tame it back into ringlets. He was staring at her and she wondered if something was wrong. Had she smeared toothpaste on her chin by mistake? Had she walked out of the bathroom with loo roll trailing behind her? She touched her face and then looked as discretely as she could muster behind her to see to her relief that she hadn't done anything embarrassing. Yet, he still looked at her, his mouth agape.
"Is, um, something wrong?" she asked with a nervous laugh.
He shook his head and a smile played at his lips.
"Why are you looking at me like that, then?" she asked concerned.
"Uh, um, well, you…really look…," he stammered. "I mean, you…wow."
She blushed and couldn't help giggling.
"So you like this?" she asked, a wave of relief coming over her.
He could only nod as he crossed the room and put his hands on both sides of her face and within seconds they were kissing. Hermione felt the familiar toe-tingling, electric feeling that came over her whenever he kissed her or touched her like this. He was the only person who made her feel like that. He broke away from her to catch his breath and then covered her lips with his again, deepening the kiss. Hermione wrapped her arms around him and she could feel his hands wandering up her back and then back down her waist and around her hips. He pressed her closer to him as he stepped backward toward the bed.
They lay back on the bed as Hermione began to unbutton his shirt, never breaking the kiss. He pulled the straps of her nightgown down from her shoulder and planted sweet kisses along her neck and on her shoulder. She shivered as he did so, enjoying the feelings he was arousing in her. He pulled away from her and looked down at her, taking her in, seemingly looking at her as if he was trying to mentally capture this moment in his mind. In all her life, she'd wanted many things---good marks in school, a number of books, peace in the wizarding world, elf rights. Those things were important, of course, but they paled in comparison to how much she wanted this man. As she stared up at him, she could see that he wanted her just as much as she wanted him.
She hesitantly pushed him away so she could sit up on the bed. She was a little scared and unsure of what she was about to do. She'd never been completely naked in front of him before. Looking into his eyes for encouragement, she slowly lifted her nightgown over her head and tossed it to the floor. Instinctively, her hands went to cover herself, but Harry stopped her and gently took her hands in his.
"You look absolutely beautiful, Hermione," he whispered.
She was about to make a sarcastic remark about him having to say something like that now that they were married, but as she looked into his eyes, she could tell that he meant every word. This was how he truly felt. She gave him a shy smile as she lay back down onto the bed and he looked down at her, looking for her assurance that what they were about to do was what she wanted. He wanted her to know that he would understand if she wasn't ready to take this step.
She looked up at him, tears shining in her eyes, and nodded. She wrapped her fingers around his belt loops and pulled him down on top of her.
*****
"Hermione?"
Hermione looked up, dazed. Andrew was still holding the pen out to her.
"Earth to Hermione," he said, teasingly. "Where'd you go just now?"
She dropped the papers on her lap and looked at him, as if seeing him for the first time that evening.
"I don't know," she said, softly.
"Hermione?" he asked gently. "Just sign the papers, sweetheart."
She took the pen and got to her feet. Andrew's eyes were trained on her as she leaned over the desk and she stared blankly at the line where her signature was to go. If she signed these papers, it was over. Did she want that? Is that what she truly wanted?
She turned to look at Andrew and she thought about how unfair she'd been to him. He'd been the perfect guy. He'd been attentive, caring, funny and an all-around good man. Everyone had said she'd been lucky to find him and told her she'd be crazy to let him go. But, if she was being honest, she'd always held something back with him. She hadn't been able to give him and their relationship all that it needed to survive and to thrive.
For all his good qualities, there was one thing Andrew Keegan could never be and it wasn't his fault. He could never be Harry. No one could ever be what Harry was to her. It didn't matter how much distance she put between them; that would never change.
Tears fells down her cheeks as she dropped the pen on the desk.
"I can't," she whispered.
"What?" Andrew asked, getting to his feet.
"Andrew," she said quietly. "I'm really sorry. But I can't sign these papers."
Andrew gave her a sympathetic smile. "You're just confused, Mione. You came back here and you got all drawn into the past and you think that what you had is going to be better than what your future will hold, but it's just memories, Hermione. You can build new ones with me. Take a chance."
Hermione took his hand. "It's not just memories, Andrew. What I felt for him never went away."
Andrew's shoulders fell and he looked away from her.
"I haven't been fair to you," she said. "And I should have known better. You don't want to marry me, Andrew. Not really. You deserve to marry someone who is going to love you with all her heart and soul. That person isn't me."
She brushed a tear from her cheek.
"I gave my heart away when I was 11 years old," she said softly. "My whole heart. And I never really got it back."
She raised her left hand and pulled the engagement ring from her finger.
"I'm so sorry, Andrew," she said, her voice breaking as she put the ring on the desk.
She wanted to say so much more to him, but she didn't know how to begin or what would be the right thing to say.
She took a look at him before walking over to the bed and picking up her purse. She stuffed the papers into her purse and was almost at the door when he called to her.
"Hermione?"
She turned around.
"The only thing I ever wanted was for you to be happy," he said, tears shining in his eyes.
"I want that for you, too," she said. "You deserve that, Andrew."
He walked over to her and to her surprise, gave her a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and they stood there for a few moments; a sort of understanding passing between them.
"Take care of yourself, Hermione," Andrew said, when they finally let go of each other.
Hermione nodded. "Goodbye, Andrew."
"Goodbye, Hermione," he said with a slight smile. He opened the door and she walked past him. She was nearly to the elevator when she heard the door close firmly behind him.
That had been one of the hardest things she'd ever done in her life. Although she didn't think she deserved a second chance with Harry, she hoped that he'd at least listen to her.
*******
He wasn't at the cottage. She didn't find him at Ron's. Her mother hadn't heard from him since this afternoon. She was about at the end of her rope when Luna called unexpectedly to check up on her.
After giving Luna a brief, condensed version of the last 24 hours, Hermione asked if Luna had any idea where Harry might be.
Luna said that the lads were taking Ron out for one last night of drinking and debauchery and would probably be in Hogsmeade. Before Hermione could even hang up the phone, Luna had apparated to Hermione's parents' house.
"You really don't have to go with me," Hermione assured her.
Luna smiled. "Yes, I do. You're my friend and I have to support you in your time of need."
"And you want to make sure Ron isn't knee deep in some exotic dancer named Candy or Lola," Hermione said, teasingly.
"Well, that too, but mainly for the supportive friend thing," Luna said, grabbing Hermione's hand and leading her out the door.
*****
They arrived in Hogsmeade a few minutes later and to their surprise, the pub was a Weasley-free zone. The bartender said that the group had been in here earlier, but had left an hour ago, talking about playing Quidditch. Luna had grilled the bartender about whether or not dancing girls or lap dances were part of the evening's festivities and the bartender had told her that he could neither confirm nor deny the appearance of dancers.
Luna silently fumed as Hermione led her friend out of the dark, smoky pub.
"Where do you think they could have gone?" Hermione asked helplessly, looking around the village streets.
"If he was doing anything with anyone, I swear I'll kill him," Luna was saying. "And he had the nerve to promise me he wouldn't do anything! I should have known better!"
"Luna," Hermione said. "Let's think. Where would the boys go to play Quidditch?"
"The Burrow?" Luna suggested.
"Maybe," Hermione said, her brow furrowed in thought.
"I know where they went!" Luna said suddenly. "They probably took Ron to the Chudley pitch. They haven't had a game in a fortnight and I'm sure that would be the perfect place!"
Hermione grinned. "I think you're probably right. Well, what do you say, Miss Lovegood?"
"Right behind you, Miss Granger," Luna said, linking elbows with her friend. "Let's go get 'em."