Author's note: Well, this is me back from my short vacation and armed with a new chapter. I hope you like it. You will get so see what I affectionately call "drunk Hermione" in this scene. Please read and review!
Chapter Nine
Find My Way Back
"I'm finding my way back to you
And everything I used to be
And waiting is all that I can do
Until you find your way back to me"
("Find My Way Back", Michelle Branch)
Hermione and Luna spent the majority of the afternoon shopping in Muggle London for a maid of honor dress for Hermione. They'd enjoyed shopping and catching up with each other. Luna couldn't help but noticing how little Hermione wanted to talk about her new life in New York. It seemed like Hermione wasn't up for sharing too much about what had happened with her as she was to finding out what Luna had been up to these past two years.
Luna didn't want to pry. She knew not to push her luck. Besides, she was having too good a time with her friend to pursue the issue any further.
At around 6 p.m. that evening, Hermione and Luna made their way to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, where the fifth birthday party for D.J. Malfoy would be taking place. Ginny had been quite hesitant about letting her prankster brothers plan the party, but they'd insisted that they would keep everything completely legitimate. They told her that it would be an appropriate party for a five-year old. Ginny had made them promise that they wouldn't do anything like turning her son into a toad. She'd reminded them of her specialty bat-bogey hexes, which had made them visibly cringe.
This whole party had Luna on edge as well. She knew that the events of this evening would lead to some awkward moments, to say the least. While Hermione and Ginny had at one time been as close as sisters, times had changed. With Ginny's deception, that friendship had been irrevocably damaged. In the years that passed, Hermione and Ginny had kept their distance. This had been made a little easier as Hermione had spent the past two years in America. Luna couldn't help but wonder what would happen at the party when the two former friends came face to face after all this time.
Another troubling issue was the fact that Lisa Turpin would be Harry's date for the evening. Luna knew that Hermione didn't know anything about this and she couldn't help wondering what Harry's thought process was at not at least warning Hermione about this turn of events. She wondered if she should say something, but she figured it wasn't her place. Besides, she was putting faith in the fact that Harry must know what he was doing.
For once let common sense reign supreme with my husband-to-be and his best mate. That's all I'm asking for.
*********
Harry and Ron spent the afternoon at Ron's Quidditch practice. Harry watched from the stands as the team practiced and was even persuaded to take part in a scrimmage. He'd not played a game of Quidditch in quite some and he'd loved being back up in the air. Concentrating on the game at hand had taken his mind off the bigger picture.
But, as they'd all descended the air and made their way to the locker rooms to change, Harry couldn't help feeling that sense of apprehension that had plagued him all afternoon. He was about to go on a date---his first date in months---to a party where his estranged wife would be present. He couldn't help thinking that this was just an invitation for disaster.
He'd quickly showered and changed and was waiting for Ron to finish up as he sat just outside the locker rooms.
"You ready to go, mate?"
Harry looked up to see Ron emerging from the locker rooms, his hair still a little damp from the shower.
"Not really," Harry said morosely.
"You're still not on about the date, are you?"
"No, Ron," Harry said sarcastically. "I'm upset that the Chudley Cannons have a losing record."
"Sorry," Ron said sheepishly. "Stupid question."
"We nearly kissed last night," Harry said and Ron smiled.
"You did? Well, that's great, isn't it?" Ron asked.
"No," Harry said, shaking his head. "We were about to when her mobile went off and it was that Andrew. He must have ESP or something like that."
"Well, once she got off the phone did you talk about it?"
"No," he said. "We acted like it hadn't happened. It's like one step forward and two steps back, Ron. And I'm afraid that tonight when I'm with Lisa, she's-"
"Don't worry about it," Ron said, taking a seat beside his friend. "Look. She thinks you've just been pining away for her this whole time, right? Well, she's going to see tonight that if she doesn't act quickly, there's someone else to take her place."
"I haven't been pining away for her," Harry said defensively.
Ron raised his eyebrows at his friend.
"Okay," Harry said. "I may have pined a little bit for her."
"Yeah, okay," Ron said sardonically. "Listen, it'll be fine. Just act as if it's any other date. Trust me. What could possibly go wrong?"
***********
Hermione and Luna arrived at the joke shop at 6:30 p.m. There were a handful of guests already there, but Ginny and Draco and the guest-of-honor had yet to arrive. Luna gave Hermione a reassuring smile as they walked inside.
"Well, as I live and breathe!" Molly Weasley's voice boomed as they walked in. The next thing Hermione knew she was being engulfed in a massive hug, the likes of which she'd not received in a long time. "Hermione!"
"It's good to see you, Mrs. Weasley," Hermione said, with a laugh.
"Sweetheart," Mrs. Weasley said, letting go of Hermione and giving her a broad smile. "You're not a child anymore. I think it'd be okay if you called me Molly now."
"I don't know if I can," Hermione said with a laugh. "I'm kind of used to calling you Mrs. Weasley."
"Well, it doesn't matter," Molly said, as she gave her son's fiancée a welcoming hug as well. "The important thing is that you're home where you belong."
Hermione looked a little uncomfortable at this and hoping to assuage her friend's fears, Luna called out for Fred and George.
They emerged from the backroom wearing party hats and carrying sparklers.
"Fred! George! Put those out this instant! Those are not appropriate for a five-year old's birthday party! He could grab hold of one of those and get a nasty burn!"
Fred grimaced at his mother. "So, I guess we should cancel the dancing girls, then?"
Molly scowled at them.
"We're only kidding!" George chimed in. "Only kidding! Besides, it was only one dancing girl."
"I see you two haven't changed a bit," Hermione said with a giggle. Fred and George beamed at Hermione and quickly extinguished the sparklers and enveloped her in a bear hug.
"Oxygen becoming an issue, guys," Hermione said and Fred and George promptly let her go.
"Mum must have brought in the big guns to keep us in line, then," George said.
Molly nodded. "That's right. I need all the help I can get with you lot."
"I promise to go easy on you," Hermione teased. "Only small curses and hexes, provided you don't get too out of hand."
"We've never gotten too out of hand," Fred protested. "Have we?"
"You've skirted it a few times," Luna said.
"Speaking of skirts, where's that fiancé of yours?" George said cheekily.
"He and Harry should be arriving any time now," Luna said. "I hope that he remembered to pick up a present for D.J."
"Hermione?" Molly asked. "Why don't you and Luna help me bring out some of the refreshments?"
"As long as I don't have to cook anything," Hermione said warningly. "You do remember how I nearly burned down your kitchen?"
"That I do," Molly said with a wink. "But, you're in luck. It's just birthday cake!"
As Luna and Molly followed Hermione into the kitchen, Luna asked Hermione, "I never knew you nearly burned down the kitchen!"
"It's not one of my more shining moments," Hermione said with a laugh. She couldn't help feeling that maybe this evening wouldn't be so bad.
***
As the three women were busy loading up the cake and plates on trays, Ginny came into the kitchen.
"Mum!" she exclaimed. "The place looks wonderful!"
Molly turned around and smiled at her only daughter. "Believe it or not, your brothers did most of it! I just wish Bill and Charlie would have been able to come!"
"Well, they did send presents," Ginny said, hugging her mother.
Hermione turned around and couldn't help staring at Ginny. Ginny's hair was longer than Hermione remembered and she'd pulled it back with a headband. She wore a pair of blue jeans and a short-sleeved black sweater.
"Hi, Hermione," Ginny said a little uncertainly. She gave her a welcoming smile.
"Hello," Hermione said, her voice just barely above a whisper.
"I'm really glad you could make it," Ginny said sincerely. "We heard you were back in town."
Hermione nodded. "Thank you for the invitation."
"Of course," Ginny said.
"Well," Molly said, looking at Luna. "How about you and I go see that grandson of mine?"
Luna nodded.
"Are you going to be okay, Hermione?" Luna asked, before she reached the door.
"Yes, of course," Hermione replied. "You go on ahead."
There was an awkward silence as Hermione and Ginny just stood there, both looking down at the floor, not daring to meet the others' eyes.
"So," Ginny said uncomfortably.
"So," Hermione repeated. "It's a little strange, isn't it? We used to talk about everything under the sun and now be both don't know what to say to each other."
Ginny laughed. "We used to talk about some crazy things, didn't we?"
Hermione smiled wistfully. "We sure did. If I can recall, I was going to be the first Muggle-born Minister of Magic and you were going to design beautiful dress robes that would put Madame Malkin's to shame."
"Life didn't quite work out the way we planned, did it?" Ginny asked.
Hermione shook her head.
"We had better get outside," Hermione after another few moments of silence.
Ginny nodded.
As they both walked out of the backroom, Hermione caught sight of the bright-eyed five-year old boy who was laughing as Fred and George pretended to have a fist fight. D.J. laughed in delight as Fred fell to the ground, grimacing in mock pain.
Ginny and Hermione stared at the scene before them.
"He's really a great little boy, isn't he?" Hermione asked, feeling tears welling up in her eyes. Looking at this adorable little boy reminded her of what she'd been trying so hard to put behind her----what could have been.
Ginny nodded as she looked at her son adoringly. "He's a handful at times, but he's really changed my life. For the better."
Hermione smiled. "You've grown up a lot, Ginny."
"I hope so," Ginny said. "I wanted to become the type of person my son could be proud of."
"I think you have," Hermione said. "From all that I've heard, I think you're a great mother, Ginny."
"Thanks," Ginny said, tears welling up in her own eyes. She didn't think she could ever express to Hermione how much those words meant to her.
"Mummy!" D.J. called to his mother.
"Who's a big boy?" Ginny said, walking quickly over to her son and picking him up and spinning him around as he squealed in delight.
"Everything okay?" Luna asked, coming over to Hermione.
Hermione nodded. "Yeah, it's okay. I'm going to need some air, though. I'll be right back."
"You want me to come with?"
Hermione shook her head. "No, stay here. I'll be okay. I'll just be a few minutes."
****
Harry and Ron arrived a few minutes later. Ron teased Luna by pretending that he hadn't brought a gift for his nephew and then laughed like a hyena when he produced with a flick of his wand, a beautifully wrapped birthday present.
Luna's response to this was to stomp on his foot hard and walk away----which the entire Weasley family delighted in, especially D.J. who imitated Luna's gesture by walking over to his Uncle Ron and proceeding to jump up and down on Ron's foot.
Harry laughed as Ron picked up his nephew and tickled him senseless. As he looked around the joke shop, his eyes searched for Hermione, hoping to find her before Lisa arrived.
"Where's Hermione?" he asked Luna, who was standing at the table talking with Draco.
"She said she needed some air," Luna said, a concerned expression on her face. "I think seeing Ginny was kind of hard on her."
"Do you know where she went?" Harry asked.
"She might have gone up on the roof, Potter," Malfoy contributed. "Didn't mean to overhear your conversation or anything, but that'd be my guess."
Harry nodded and quickly went in the backroom and out the door and quickly ascended the staircase to the roof. Sure enough, there she was. Her back was to him and she was looking down at the village. He stared at her for a moment before quickly bridging the distance between them. She was lost in her thoughts as she didn't hear him approach. He hesitantly put an arm to her shoulder and she jumped, startled.
"Hey," he whispered.
"Hey," she said.
"Is everything okay?" he asked her, his hand still on her shoulder.
She was about to give him the stock answer that everything was fine, but she had never been able to lie to him and she didn't plan on starting now.
So, she shook her head.
"Come here," he said, opening his arms up to her and she went into them willingly. The tears she'd been holding off came out quickly and Harry's own heart broke as he held her.
"It's okay," he said. "Let it out."
"I'm so glad you're here," she said, resting her head against his chest.
"I'm not going anywhere," he said, stroking her back reassuringly.
"I know," she said, between sobs. "It's just---I thought I could handle it. But, it's just been a bit too much."
"I know," he said. "I see the three of them together and I think that it could have been---it should have been us like that, too."
"I try not to think about it," she said quietly. "What could have been, you know? But, I do. I think about it all the time."
"Me, too," he said.
They stood there, lost in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity. The grief that had broken them apart was now slowly bringing them together.
A sound down below in the streets caused them both to abruptly pull away from each other. Hermione wiped a tear away from her cheek.
She looked at Harry's shirt that was now wet from her tears. She apologized and offered to perform a drying spell, but he shrugged her off.
"It's okay," he said, smiling reassuringly at her. "It's just tears. It's okay, really."
She smiled back. He offered her his hand. "So, you ready to face them all again?"
She took his hand willingly and he gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Yeah, I think so."
********
Hermione and Harry walked back into the joke shop, hand in hand. Hermione felt much better walking back into the shop then she did walking out of it a few minutes before.
As soon as they walked back in, Luna came over to them carrying two paper cups of punch.
"Here you go," Luna said.
They thanked Luna and the three of them looked on in amusement as Ron had somehow become the piñata for the children. He would fall over in dramatic fashion to the delight of the children and Fred and George would call out for more as the children kept pinching, poking and tapping Ron at will.
"I better go save him," Luna said, handing her own cup over to Hermione. "If I'm not back in three minutes, send for reinforcements."
Harry and Hermione shared a laugh and enjoyed their own chit chat during the party when a tapping on Harry's shoulder interrupted their conversation. Harry turned and his heart plummeted as he saw Lisa Turpin, smiling broadly at him.
"Sorry I'm so late," she said apologetically. "I had a couple of press releases to get off my desk before they'd let me leave."
"Right," Harry said awkwardly. "Hi, Lisa."
She smiled warmly back at him. Harry didn't want to turn around to see the look on Hermione's face. He'd completely forgotten about Lisa after what had happened with Hermione on the roof.
"Hermione Granger?" Lisa asked looking over Harry's shoulder. "Is that you? I haven't seen you since Hogwarts!"
Hermione stared at her.
"Well, this is a little awkward, isn't it?" Lisa asked, when no one else spoke. "You being the ex-wife and this being our first date."
Lisa linked arms with Harry and smiled possessively at Hermione.
"Your, um, first date," Hermione stammered. "You didn't mention anything about a date."
Harry couldn't believe how awful this was. He'd rather be back in one of Snape's Double Potions lessons than having to endure this.
Where is that black hole to swallow me whole when I really need it?
An awkward, uncomfortable silence followed as Hermione stared at Harry and Lisa. An oblivious Lisa just grinned back adoringly at Harry.
"Well," Hermione said finally. "I won't keep you, then. It was nice to see you again, Lisa. I hope that the two of you enjoy your date."
With that, she quickly turned on her heel and walked away. Harry wanted to follow her, but Lisa's grip on his arm tightened and she began to talk at nearly a mile a minute.
**********
As the party was drawing to a close, Harry realized that he hadn't seen Hermione in quite some time. He was wondering if she'd apparated back to the cottage. Lisa was in the bathroom freshening up and he had made up his mind to tell her that he'd had a nice time, but was really tired and wanted to call it a night.
He'd made it a few feet when Neville Longbottom walked into the joke shop. His cheeks were red and he was out of breath.
"Neville?"
Neville held up his hand to indicate to Harry that he needed to catch his breath.
"What is it?"
Neville stood straight and said breathlessly. "Hermione…Hogshead…Pissed."
"What?" Harry asked.
"She's been down there for the past two hours," Neville said. "The barkeeper said she's drunk nearly her weight in firewhiskey, Harry."
Harry was speechless. He'd never seen Hermione drunk in his entire life. In fact, he'd never seen her drink more than a half a glass of champagne.
"Thanks, Neville," he said, patting his friend on the back. "Could you do me a favor? You know Lisa Turpin, right?" Neville nodded. "Could you tell her that I had to go unexpectedly, please?"
"Sure," Neville responded.
Harry didn't say anything else as he quickly bolted out of the joke shop and down the street toward The Hog's Head.
He opened the door to find that the place hadn't changed since the last time he'd been there. The dingy, dank smell was quite pungent and he could hardly see anything in the room from the smoke.
He looked around the room for Hermione and found her sitting at the end of the bar, nursing another glass of firewhiskey. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was slumped over in her stool.
"Hermione?" he asked her.
"Harry!" she slurred excitedly. "Barkeeper! This is my hubband-Parry Hotter."
She laughed hysterically at her mistake. "No, that's not right! It's Harry! You know, Harry!"
Harry pushed her glass away from her.
"Hermione," he said, sitting down beside her. "How many of these have you had?"
She looked at him, thinking hard. "I can't remember! I lost count."
"How could you let her drink like this?" Harry asked the barkeeper angrily.
"Oi!" the bartender retorted. "It's not my job to be the nursemaid, okay? I just serve the stuff."
"You shouldn't let her get so shit-faced, she can't even see straight!" Harry said angrily. "She's not a drinker!"
"You could have fooled me!" the bartender said.
Harry hadn't seen Hermione stumble out of her chair, but he did feel her come up behind him and rest her head on his back. She wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled dreamily as she took in his scent.
"You always smelled so good, Harry!"
The bartender raised his eyebrows at the two of them and shook his head as he walked toward the other end of the bar.
"Dance with me," she whispered, lifting her head and turning him around to face her. "We haven't danced in such a long time. Do you remember that night on the beach! I want to go back there, Harry!"
"We can't go back there, Hermione," he said gently.
"Why not?" she said. "Are you a wizard or not? We could get a time turner from Professor McGonagallagall."
Again, she broke off into hysterical laughter as she drunkenly mispronounced the professor's name.
"Did you hear what I just said, Harry?" she said between giggles. "I said Professor McGonagagallagallagall."
She started to sway back and forth and took Harry's hand to spin herself around. A few of the patrons, who usually kept to themselves, couldn't help but laugh at the spectacle Hermione was making.
"Sweetheart," Harry said into her ear. "Let's go home, okay?"
Hermione smiled suggestively at him. "Hmmmmm."
He took her hand and led her toward the door and they were soon outside in the muggy summer air.
Harry had just closed the door behind them when Hermione flung herself into his arms and started kissing him. She nuzzled into his neck and he couldn't deny that it felt good to have her doing what she was doing, but this wasn't the way he wanted it to happen.
"Hermione," he said, trying to break free from her, but finding it incredibly difficult when she breathed into his ear.
"Hmmmm," she slurred. "You smell so good, Harry. Take me home."
He grabbed hold of her and apparated them both back to the cottage.
Sam looked up welcomingly at them, but Harry looked sternly at him and Sam whimpered back into the kitchen. Hermione was barely able to walk so Harry picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.
He placed her down gently on the bed and caressed her cheek as he did so.
"It's okay," he whispered to her.
He pulled the blanket over her and was about to leave when she grabbed his hand.
"Don't leave me, Harry," she said, her voice taking on a serious tone. "I want you to say with me. Don't you want me anymore?"
He sat back down on the bed and looked at her. "I do," he whispered. "You have no idea how much, but not like this."
She nodded, her smile fading. "Will you stay with me, then? Until I fall asleep?'
He looked at her and nodded. He lay back on the bed and she snuggled into him, her head resting on his shoulder. Within seconds, she was fast asleep.
Harry lay there, wide awake, his arms wrapped protectively around her. It wasn't too long before he, too, was fast asleep.