Title: Screaming on the Inside
Rating: R
Summary: Tragedy strikes Hermione. How will her friends react?
Disclaimer: The characters of this story were created by the genius that is JK Rowling. This fic was not written to make money of any kind but merely for the enjoyment..
Authors Note: This is the first every Harry Potter fanfic I ever wrote. I started it before the fifth book came out and finally decided to post it on Portkey. Its been up on fanfiction.net for awhile now. Still not finished but its slowly getting there.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Harry's POV
I smile as I take a good look around the Gryffindor common room. Everyone was laughing good naturedly, excitement coming off them in waves. We'd just won the Quidditch Cup with me as captain. You couldn't get much better than that, yet I still can't shake the empty feeling of dread settling at the bottom of my stomach.
As I look around the room a pang of guilt stabs me when I realise one of my best friends are missing. I can't believe I took until now to notice.
"Where's Hermione?" I ask Ron and he looks slightly shocked at the suddenness of question, a custard tart halfway to his mouth. Ron shrugged and the custard tart continued its journey.
I start to worry a bit when I realise I haven't seen her since before the game when she wished me luck outside the dressing rooms. She's hugged me quickly before running off to catch up with Lavender, Parvati and a few girls from our year I don't know that well.
Sighing I find Lavender in the room and make my way over to her. I pose the same question I did to Ron only to receive a funny look and a slightly startled "Not sure".
I continue to comb the room for Hermione but still come up with nothing. The noise at the party seems to have raised a few decibels. I'm just about to give Neville the same interrogation when the portrait hole opens and Hermione steps through. The first thing I notice is the absence of books. The second the haunted look on her face, tears glistening in her eyes.
The entire common room stopped what they were doing when Hermione came through the portrait hole, as if everyone detected her mood. Hermione just stood there silent tear starting to fall. She looked very shaky on her legs. Ron and I rush forward as everyone else watches knowing it was not their place.
I reach her first gently reaching out so she doesn't fall over like she was threatening to do, her legs mysteriously week.
"Harry," she manages to whisper before she dissolves completely into tears. Instinctively I pull her into a fierce hug as she continues to cry on my shoulder. I can't help but feeling completely confused. Hermione usually has such a great handle on her emotions. True we didn't understand where they came from half the time but she was still never very public with them, me and Ron the only two people privy to anything but her usual cool and calm exterior.
I look down at Hermione wondering exactly what was going on realising that she was still to overcome by tears to tell me anything. Behind me I hear people moving around like they were making a mass exodus of the common room to give us some privacy.
I gently rub my hand along Hermione's back desperately trying to calm her tears. As I do she appears to tighten her grip on me and I drop a gently kiss on top of her head not knowing what else to do. She appears so lost.
I see Ron come up behind her, looking rather awkward, unsure of what to do. Gently he reached out touching Hermione on her left shoulder squeezing gently. Hermione turned around and gave Ron a tearful smile of thanks not moving an inch away. Ron nodded tersely taking that as a sign and left the common room shooting a concerned look over his shoulder every few seconds.
I continue to stand there with Hermione crying in my arms. I'm not sure how long we stood there. It could have been a few minutes or even a few hours. After awhile Hermione's tears dry up and she looks about ready to talk. I gently guide her to one of the couches near the still burning fire. We sit facing each other and Hermione continues to look down as she searches for something in her robes. Finally she pulls out what to me looks like a Muggle telegram. She hands it to me and I find that I was right.
I give her a questioning look and she gestures for me to open it. Curiosity getting the better of me I do so. What I find shocks me. On official government letterhead I don't even have to finish the first sentence to know what has happened. That one terrible sentence and you know what follows is going to be bad news. "It is with deep regret that we inform you…"
"Car crash," Hermione says simply as if reading my thoughts. I think it makes her feel better that I understand the awfulness of getting a letter like that. Not having to read the whole thing just knowing. "Drunk driver. Dead on arrival at the hospital." Her voice is so flat and void of emotion that it worries me more than the continually crying Hermione.
Hermione's tears start to subside again and I know that she needs to talk about it. Rationalise everything in her head. She can't do that yet though. It still hurts her to breath. She's still in too much shock and the pain to real and blinding.
It scares me. Hermione not even being able to find an explanation for something. That's how she deals with everything and if you don't have the solution someone else will have written it down in a book.
"They're gone," she whispers, her voice flat and hollow, breaking my heart. I think she is starting to realise exactly what this means. She quickly pushes me away and begins to stare at a random spot above my head. Her tears have stopped flowing now. I could wave my hand in front of her face and I don't think she would see it.
"They're really gone?" she asks as if there is some way I can make it not true by answering the negative. For the first time in a long while I see the eleven year old I first met on the train from Hogwarts not the cool, calm and collected seventh year she's grown to be.
Knowing I can't lie to her I just reach out and squeeze her hand. The gesture seems pretty futile but I don't know what else to do. Hermione looks up at me gratefully and surprises me by crawling into my lap. "Hold me," she whispers so quietly I nearly miss it. Quietly I oblige and gently snake my arms around her.
We half sit, half lie on the couch as she cries quietly. I let her get it out of her system, gently running my hand through her hair. Eventually Hermione cried herself to sleep. I sit for a moment and just watch her. She looks peaceful in a miserable kind of way. Tear tracks still visible on her face and I realise she'll never be the same again.
I don't know why the sudden realisation shocks me but it does. I guess I always considered Hermione as the constant in my wizarding life. The book-loving witch who was always ready to step into the fray for her friends no matter how dangerous the situation.
Rousing my from my thoughts Ron creeps into the common room to check on us. "How is she?" he asks in a whisper.
I just shake my head, it's a loaded question. I answer the unasked easy one instead. "Her parents, in a car crash." I see Ron visibly pale. In shock he sits down at the end of our couch, just missing Hermione's feet. Thankfully Hermione doesn't stir. Ron looks at me again in disbelief so I hand him the letter and he reads it with a shocked look on his face. "Poor Hermione," he breaths. I know he doesn't know what else to say. He gently strokes Hermione's foot.
Quietly he gets up and kisses Hermione on the forehead. She gently stirs in her sleep snuggling closer to my chest but she doesn't wake. Ron nods gently. "Should get her to bed," he tells me.
I nod and gently rearrange her in my lap so I can pick her up. As I stand she mumbles something incoherent in her sleep. Ron and I look up at each other both knowing she had been having nightmares, this would only add fuel to the fire. "I got her," I tell Ron and he steps back a bit, walking slightly ahead of us to open the doors.
Together Ron and I tuck take Hermione's shoes off and tuck her in, not wanting to wake the other girls in the dorm to dress her properly we just put her in bed in her day clothes. I gently kiss her on the forehead and move to follow Ron out the door when she stirs. She looks up at me and grabs my wrist to keep me from moving away. "Harry? Stay with me." I hesitate for a second. "I don't want to be alone." Unable to say no to her I shoot a quick look to Ron who was already halfway out the door. He gave me a half-smile and disappeared completely out the door.
Silently I kick my shoes off and crawl into the bed next to her where Hermione immediately huddles closer feeling the need for contact with another person. We stay there in silence for awhile until she final breaks the quiet.
"Harry?" she questions quietly. "Thanks."
Softly I press my lips to the top of her head. "Go to sleep," I mumble. She doesn't say another word just closes her eyes and tries to do what she was told.