Authors Note: Can I just say - WOW! I've been overwhelmed by the reviews… I know I've been a bit complacent about them, just fobbing them off with a heart felt thanks, which seemed a bit redundant but really they do mean a lot to me. So much, in fact, that I'm finally over my writer's block. Yup that's right. I wrote half a chapter today which I like and gives me room to do what I want with the fic. So kudos to you reviewers. I love you.
This chapter - bring on the angst. From previous chapters you might think I don't like Ron… but I really do. To prove it I've given him an entire chapter to be angsty (you know I like a character when I let them angst) and insightful. Ron is just rather thick and self-centered, its not a bad thing, its just his character and what makes him more real, at times that I had to write him that way.
Read and as always enjoy.
Ron's POV
Groaning I roll out of bed unwillingly. There should be a law about mornings, especially mornings after the worst nights of your life.
I groan again as my mind replays snippets from the night before. I don't think I've ever had so much happen to me in such a short amount of time; Harry dumping on me, Draco on my back.
And then Lavender.
Lavender, now that was unexpected. I could logically see Harry's reasons and Draco was just an arsehole, but Lavender I always thought she would understand. She claimed part of her knew.
Girls, I just don't get them.
Growling I pull myself out of bed and throw my uniform on. How could Lavender expect me to tell her everything? Blabbing things like that around would wind up getting someone killed.
Contrary to popular belief I am not that dumb.
Harry, he was treating me like a slow five-year-old, living with my head in the sand for the past seven years. I knew what was happening, what was most likely to go down. Harry thought it was something I couldn't handle. Maybe I couldn't. At least he could have given me the opportunity to find out.
Before I know it my feet have found their way to the dining room. Immediately I'm bowled over by the activity and excitement spreading across the room, a stark contrast to my current mood.
I take a seat in the midst of Dean, Seamus and Neville hoping to fade into the background, careful not to look at Lavender. My sister, however, had other ideas.
"Ron, couldn't you just die?" she asks. I'm confused. She looks at me with a beaming face and I get the feeling she thinks I should be happy too. About what I have no idea.
"Be a whole lot better than I'm feeling now," I mumble but she doesn't hear me.
"They didn't tell you?" Ginny presses, my face must have been a mask of confusion. I shrug not being able to bring myself to care all that much. I always thought of apathy as misery's friend.
"Harry and Hermione," Ginny states, not helping the confusion. She was starting to piss me off on a grand scale.
"My two best friends. What of it?"
Ginny looks really uncomfortable now. She starts to chew on her bottom lip and I know she is nervous. "I'm sure they were going to tell you first." She pauses to chew on her lip again. "They kinda got together."
Silence. I stare at her for a second in shock.
"Okay, wait, back-up. In the three hours since I've seen them last Harry and Hermione have found the time to…" I leave that sentence open, unsure how to finish it. To be quite honest, my two best friends getting busy was not information I really wanted to hear about right now.
"Bionk each others brains out?" Dean supplies, trying to be helpful.
"Yeah that," Ginny answers, screwing her nose up at the phrasing.
The chatter around the table immediately picks up as everyone wants to get in on a piece of the gossip. Hogwarts' Golden Couple had finally hooked up. It was big news.
I push my plate away from me suddenly not hungry.
"Ron?" Gin questions and that's my breaking point. The air around me seems so stifling. The chatter around me, a few hundred decibels too loud, the smell of the food getting strangely nauseating. I have to get out of there. I rise from my seat with a shocking suddenness and stride out of the Great Hall at a half run, half walk.
I need to be alone. Not until I feel the cool breeze blow across my cheeks do I allow myself to breath. Everything familiar is crashing down around me.
Before long I find myself at the shores of the lake. I sit, staring out into its gray depths. The effect is surprisingly calming, the size of the lake making me feel insignificant by comparison.
As my anger subsides the hurt comes rolling in, waves rushing over me. I was never really angry, just hurt. Hurt seems to disguise itself as anger quite frequently.
Lavender dumped me.
This wasn't just one of our petty fights we were always having. This was huge. In some recess of my mind our relationship had escalated from a bit of fun. I guess I kind of loved her. She was always there for me in a way. There when Harry and Hermione were too busy being the Duo to include me.
I feel sick.
It occurs to me that they were probably off fucking just as Lavender was telling me she couldn't.
I take a deep breath trying to calm my emotions. That doesn't really work.
I hear two steps of footsteps behind me. I don't need to turn to know whom they belong to. I ignore them and continue to stare out to the lake. Can't people see that I want to be alone?
"Ron?" I hear Hermione's voice question. I don't answer; don't even indicate that I have heard them. There is a silence and I know they are having one of their freaking silent conversations.
"Ron," Hermione starts again, "you can ignore us all you want but you should know that we were going to tell you first. Gin-"
"Lavender dumped me," I cut in deadpan.
I can't keep listening to their apologies. It's who they are. What they have is beyond anyone's control; least of all theirs.
The guilt radiates off them. Too wrapped up in their own world to take notice what is going down with their best friend. I would say typical but I know that's not true.
Harry and Hermione's own world usually consisted of trying to figure out how to thwart the latest evil or worrying about what was going to happen the next time around. Personal time was rarely an option. When they got the time it was often cut short by things happening around them. The world was more important their own happiness. The only certainty in their lives was that Harry was going to be in the thick of whatever was going to happen.
"Oh Ron," Hermione whispers before coming around to give me a hug. For a few moments I take comfort in her closeness, knowing she is there for me.
I look up to see Harry calmly watching us. If that were me I'd be beside myself with jealously, especially knowing how he feels about her. He's been with her for less than twenty-four hours and already she is throwing herself at another guy. Okay not exactly throwing herself but the closeness would make me uncomfortable.
But Harry's not the jealous kind of person. Not like I am. He's also got the security of knowing that Hermione loves him. There was no other male she would be turning to for comfort. Harry had always been that male.
"It'll be okay," Hermione tells me before she pull back. I bite my tongue so I don't retort. How would she know? She's never had her heart broken. Even if she was under the impression that she had, Harry had always been there to pick up the pieces.
"Do you want to talk?" Hermione asks gently, her hand still gripping mine. I shake my head. I can't. Not right now. She nods, understanding.
We stay that way for a few seconds, all wallowing in my pity.
Harry gently places a hand on Hermione's shoulder to get her attention. Surprised she looks up at him as he points across the grounds. We both follow his line of sight to find Ginny desperately trying to get Hermione's attention.
"I think someone wants to talk to you," Harry chuckles lightly. Hermione nods, a slight blush creeping to her cheeks. Knowing my sister we all knew what she wanted to talk was definitely not the weather.
Hermione nods as she stands. "I suppose I better go. I'll talk to you both later." As she passes Harry the brush hands each giving the other a light squeeze. It was little things like that, which let me know that no matter what it was always going to be those two. It ran in their veins, they just couldn't help it.
After watching Hermione for a couple of seconds Harry sighs and takes a seat next to me. We sit in a comfortable silence, staring out to the water.
"Sucks, don't it," Harry suddenly states.
"Like you have anything to worry about," I can't help but sound bitter.
Harry laughs hollowly.
My head flicks up and I look at him questioningly. "This is Hermione."
Harry shakes his head giving me a weird look. He doesn't look like he is about to give me any insight into what he is feeling at the moment.
"Hogwarts' golden couple," I remind him.
"Funny that," is his only comment. I don't bother pressing him any more; he'll let me know in time. Nevertheless his mindset was starting to scare me.
"You do realize, if you hurt her I will kill you," I tell him. Hermione was my like my little sister. It had to be said.
Harry smiles, "A bit weird to be on the receiving end of that." He's silent for a second. "I'd die before I let anything hurt her," he whispers not taking his eyes off the lake.
We sit in silence again and my thoughts turn back to Lavender. Misery washes over me. I'd love to kick and scream and curse the world but I just don't have the energy.
Windmills of emotion circle through my mind as I stare out to the lake, unblinking. I'd give anything to dull the rawness of the hurt. I can hear Hermione tell me it will get better with time.
Time. I almost chuckle at the thought. We were all rapidly running out of that.