Authors Note: Hi guys. Again thanks so much for reviewing. Thanks to the gorgeous Jamie for betaing… you are a lifesaver.
I was meant to say this awhile ago but the gorgeous Panda from Gumboot Mafia (http://gumbootmafia.hyperboards.com) made this gorgeous banner for my fic. You can view the banner here - http://www.geocities.com/buggerlea/screamingontheinside2.txt
I've decided to spoil you all with another story… sorry but there's no sex details.
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Lavender's POV
I look between Malfoy and Ron as they continue to yell at each other, oblivious to the disappearance of Harry and Hermione. I silently appeal to the Professors but they seem to be taking their lead from Dumbledore, who appears to be staring off into space, unaware of the happenings around him, the twinkle in his eyes as bright as ever.
I turn my attention back to Ron who, by the look on Malfoy's face, could end up with a broken nose anytime soon.
"You think you've earned this. You've earned nothing." Malfoy growls at him. Ron opens his mouth to protest but Malfoy cuts him off. "You've stood there and fought but you've lost nothing. The world is still a good and decent place to you."
Ron steps back, shocked by his words. Who would have picked Malfoy to be the insightful one? Ron stares at Malfoy, his mouth hanging open at a rather unattractive angle. Gently I reach out and touch his shoulder letting him know I'm there.
I don't know how there I can be though.
In a single night my life couldn't have changed more drastically. I've gone from worrying about what colour to paint my toenails to worrying how many of my friends will make it through the school year.
"Ah, lets get back to business," Dumbledore suddenly announces.
It seems strange to be doing this without Harry but no one else says anything so I keep my mouth shut.
"Hagrid, I trust the Forbidden Forrest knows what is about to take place?"
As Hagrid nods and begins to explain the willingness of various groups of creatures, most, which I'd never, heard of, I stare at the map of Hogwarts, slowly tuning out his words.
Something seems off about it. As I continue to stare I lose track of who's talking and intently focus on the diagram. Suddenly it strikes me, it's blaringly obvious.
"So the crux of this plan is to get all the students out through the secret passage ways?" I ask.
Everyone turns to look at me with varying degrees of menace. We had covered this a while ago. Malfoy has the distinct look like he wants to strangle me.
"I've got a better idea," as I get looks of utter shock I thank Merlin for my brother's obsession with Muggle television and war movies.
"You're joking, right?" Malfoy asks sounding highly amused.
I shake my head. I don't think shocked faces could become more shocked. I'm the ditz not the one who should be coming up with battle plans. Dumbledore gestures for me to continue and so I do, explaining in as much detail as I possibly can.
About halfway through Malfoy catches on and starts making slight suggestions, things that I have missed due to my inexperience. When I finish I find the boys looking at me, awe written all over their faces.
"My girlfriend's a genius," Ron announces, giving me a slight squeeze.
"I think this is going to work," Sirius Black announces as he studied the school map. I look at him confused; sure I'm not along in my bewilderment.
"If you don't mind me asking," I started feeling timid all of the sudden, which was an extremely rare occurrence for me. "But aren't you the guy who killed all those people after You-Know-Who…" I trail off unsure how to finish that sentence. "And weren't you trying to kill Harry in third year."
Sirius Black looks up at me and allows a light chuckle to escape his lips. It seems a weird reaction for an escaped criminal. I look at Ron to find that he too is trying to hold back his laughter. I slap him slightly and he immediately sobers.
He's such a prat at times.
"Sirius was framed by Peter Pettigrew," Ron says simply as if that explains everything.
It doesn't.
"Wasn't he one of the victims?" Neville asks. I shoot him a thankful look, relieved that I'm not the only one who's a few pages behind.
"Can I go now?" Draco asks loudly, obviously thinking we were done with the planning for the night.
"Yes, yes," Dumbledore answers him with a smile. "You too Dobby, they'll be needing you in the kitchens."
As they leave Sirius starts to explain. "Pettigrew was an anigmus. He could turn himself into a rat. So he performed the curse and then transformed."
It was all beginning to make sense now. I idly wonder what else Ron has kept from me. I know he's only doing it to protect the others and to some intent me. Still it would be good if I didn't have to feel so out of everything all the time.
"Sirius is Harry's godfather," Ron quickly explains, answering my next question. "He, Professor Lupin and Harry's dad were all friends at Hogwarts."
I nod. It made sense.
"So Sirius is not evil," I assert, earning nods from both Ron and Sirius. This was starting to be too much. Way to load on the information in one night.
Without the urgency or bustle we previously had my body starts to realise just how tired I am. I yawn rather widely and I think Dumbledore took that as a cue for everyone to get some rest. He quickly ushered those who didn't belong in the Gryffindor tower as Professor McGonagall sternly tells the rest of us to go to bed.
"Tell Harry," Sirius starts with a cheeky glint in his eye. "Never mind, I'll speak to him in the morning." Sirius leaves with a look on his face, which gives me the impression he knows something we don't. As the portrait hole closes I hear him chuckle lightly to himself.
I'm not impressed.
The remaining Gryffindor's quickly say their goodnights and make their way to their dorms all in varying states of exhaustion. I hold Ron back wanting to talk to him privately. I sit Ron down on one of the couches and take a seat on one of the coffee tables across from him. Ron looks at me curiously and I know I must have a weird look on my face.
"What was that about?" I ask him gently trying to not sound standoffish.
I'm unsure of his actions earlier tonight, we all are. Ron looks up at me and I can tell what the next words out of his mouth will be. I don't let me.
"You know what I mean," I tell him with a slight smile. "That wasn't you."
Ron sighs, knowing he's not going to get out of this easily. "I was just surprised. I've spent all these years with Harry and now he suddenly dumps me for Malfoy." I can see Ron's temper rising, so I reach out and squeeze his hand.
"You've got to understand where Harry's coming from. Malfoy knows who he is dealing with better than anyone here; he lived with them his entire life."
"I'm just…" Ron breaks off not finishing his sentence.
"Scared," I supply for him and Ron lifts his head up in shock.
"This is all new to you. You must…"
I cut Ron off with a wave of my hand. This is not something I really want to talk about now. My rational side is thinking it was okay for him to hide everything from me. My emotional side, which unfortunately the side that was winning, remains hurt by Ron's mistrust in me. Ron presses the issue.
"No. We've told you so much. You must be…" Ron cut himself off unsure how to phrase it.
I just shake my head. "I'm fine."
"Don't lie," Ron answers gently and I know my face had betrayed me.
That is it. I can't take anymore. "How much else have you been keeping from me?" I ask in a voice much more level than I feel. Ron looks at me like I've grown a second head. He can't believe what I'm saying. I barely can.
"But, Lav, I had too. Sirius…"
I hold up my hand desperately trying to keep my emotions in check. Damn him. Why couldn't he have just kept quiet?
"I know," I tell him. "At least a part of me knows that." I pause, the look on Ron's face heartbreaking. "I guess I just didn't know how deep in you were. That it was just something you did to pass the time. A hobby. If it were that I could handle it." I pause again my emotions getting the better of me as my eyes begin to well with tears. "But this is huge. More than I ever imagined."
My voice cracked. I can tell by the look on Ron's face that he has skipped ahead. Still, it needs to be said.
"I just can't. Not if you shut me out."
"Lav," Ron whispers and leans forward to take my hands. I stand and back away from him, tears starting to fall.
"No Ron," I tell him before turning to walk away, finally allowing my tears to flow freely.
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The next morning I dress slowly unable to pull myself from my self imposed misery. I still wonder whether I did the right thing. My head and heart at war with each other, pulling me in separate directions, trying to tear me in two. Sighing I flip my hair back into a loose ponytail, too tired to bother with anything else. I make my way alone to the Great Hall not up for company.
As I enter I'm surprised to see Harry and Hermione sitting at the Gryffindor table already eating. Neither of them usually early risers, and when they were Hermione usually had her nose buried in a book and Harry usually only answered in grunts. Now they were sitting next to each other shovelling food into their mouths as they chatted contentedly. It was a strange yet welcome sight.
They both look up as I slip into a chair across from them.
"Hey Lavender," Harry greets and turns back to his food.
Typical male.
Hermione immediately sets down her fork the moment she sets eyes on me.
"You okay?" she asks concern lining her face.
I nod glumly and wave her off not quite willing to talk about it yet.
Okay, that's not quite true. I'm ready, willing, and able and the second Parvati walks through that door I'm dragging her off to an empty classroom for some serious girl time. I just don't want to talk about it with Harry and Hermione.
As much as I adore them there was one fundamental flaw in that idea; they were Ron's best friends. Things like that just don't work.
The conversation at the table dulls to a lull and I'm painfully aware of the dampener my mood has had on them.
"Look, I'll just go…" I announce, the words coming out a lot harsher than I meant.
I stand but Hermione stops me.
"No, Lav, it's okay, seriously," Hermione looks up at me with her brown eyes and I can immediately see why every male is so fascinated with her.
There is just a sparkle about her. Hermione's eyes will tell you exactly what she's thinking. I see the apology in them but there is an odd twinkle in them. I mentally remind myself to call her on that when I am feeling a little more human.
I sit as Harry and Hermione exchange a significant glance and I can't help but get the feeling that something else is going on. There is nothing like a bit of detective work to take one's mind off ones own personal misery.
Those two are giving off really strange vibes.
"What is up with -" I start to ask before I'm interrupted.
"Finally," Ginny announces as she sits in an empty chair next to me throwing a significant look at Harry and Hermione.
As I study them I want to smack myself for not realising it before.
Across from me Harry nearly chokes on his food while Hermione curses beneath her breath, "Damn. Thought that would take longer."
"So when did this happen?" Ginny asks them enthusiastically, squirming in her seat like a young child.
A smirk forms on Harry's face as he simply raises an eyebrow at Ginny.
"Oh my God," Ginny squeals and a few people turn to look at her. Ginny continues to look at the new couple absolutely enthralled.
I can't seem to find myself getting as enthusiastic as I would be. I've been waiting for this to happen since fifth year. My misery blocking out what happiness I would feel.
"Hey Dean," I hear Ginny yell down the table. "Who had today?"
I don't wait for the answer just study Harry and Hermione's reactions. As I predicted they are classic.
"What?!" Hermione screeches setting down her fork while Harry's smirk begins to widen.
"If you're quite done," Draco announces suddenly appearing behind the pair. "I need to talk to you both."
Nonchalantly Draco reaches over and takes some toast from the table. You would swear the Slytherin table didn't give them decent food.
"Hang on," Ginny answers and turns to interrogate Hermione some more. "So what was it like? Did you -"
Ginny is cut off by three loud groans and I can't say I blame them. I would be mortified.
"You do realise I'm right here?" Harry asked a bit bewildered. Ginny just looks at him and shrugs. That girl has no tact. Out of the corner of my eye I see Hermione mouth to Ginny `Later'.
I smile. That was one conversation I definitely wanted to be present for.
"Red this is important." Draco tells Ginny flatly. "You can talk about their sex lives later." Draco smirks widely before turning and sweeping out of the Great Hall.
There was no other way to describe it, he actually swept. Sighing Harry and Hermione pushed their food away from them and followed him out, hands firmly interlaced.
I turn back to my food and back to my own misery. Trying to find comfort as I push the food around my plate. I am left alone to my thoughts for the time being. Exactly what I needed at the moment.