Unofficial Portkey Archive

Chapter Three

Harry was sitting quietly on the edge of his bed wearing his dress robes. He had showered and was tempted just to stay under the steady stream of warm water. But his legs had begun to get wobbly and knew he'd better get dried off quickly before what little strength he had totally failed him. Harry looked out the window and sighed. He wasn't sure he was ready for this and he even had mixed feelings about seeing his friends. The past few days hadn't been fun by any means but without all the distractions, he had gotten his ability to empty his mind down to an art-at least when he was conscious-meaning he didn't have to deal with the things that would otherwise be assaulting his brain. He knew it wouldn't be as easy with the others there. Shuddered at the thought of having to talk about any of it.

Harry heard some noise downstairs and then familiar voices asking, "Where is he?" Footsteps hurried up the stairs and a knock sounded on his door.

"Come in."

"Harry," Hermione walked quickly to his side and gave him a quick hug. `He looks so pale,' she worried inwardly and glanced at Ron.

"Harry, good t'see you," Ron thudded him on the back and Harry nearly ended up on the floor.

Remus walked into his room followed by Dobby.

"Hello, Harry." Remus put his hand on gently Harry's shoulder. "You `bout ready?"

Harry nodded. "How're we getting there?"

"Dumbledore gave me several Portkeys for us to use tonight." Remus said quietly. "We need to go ahead and get ready for the one to take us to the memorial."

Remus took a clean handkerchief out his pocket and held it out. "Alright, everyone, get a corner."

Harry stood up, stumbling a bit on the hem of his robes, and walked to Remus. Several looks passed between the others. "Are you all right, Harry?" Hermione asked quietly, looking across at him.

Harry nodded, not looking up. "I'm ready." He grasped the handkerchief with the others. "See you later, Dobby."

The group suddenly felt a strong jerk and then they were being whisked along. Just when Harry was getting used to the wind and the sensation, his feet hit the ground with a great thud. He legs almost collapsed and he would have fallen but it seemed that Ron and Remus had anticipated this and strong hands steadied him.

"Thanks," Harry said quietly, straightening his robes.

They looked around and found that they were outdoors in what looked to be a small graveyard enclosed by an imposing tall black wrought iron fence. All the memorial stones looked to be made of very dark granite and Harry saw that several of them bore the name "Black".

A small group of people was gathered on the other side of the cemetery. Harry stood uncertainly. Remus took Harry by the arm and guided him toward the group. Hermione fell in step on his other side, taking Harry's hand firmly in hers. Ron followed close behind him.

Harry watched the ground moving beneath his shoes. Then he saw the hems of black robes sway apart and heard them rustle as he walked through. Harry felt Remus and Hermione stop so he did too. He lifted his head slightly and saw Dumbledore standing behind a large stone that read, `Sirius R. Black, Faithful Friend, 1959-1996'. Harry quickly dropped his gaze.

Dumbledore cleared his throat softly and began to speak. "Welcome. We have gathered tonight to honor our friend, Sirius Black, a hero who was slain while…" Dumbledore's voice faded in Harry's ears as memories of Sirius began flowing through his mind.

Sirius, gaunt and filthy in the Shrieking Shack…

Sirius' smile at Harry wanting to live with him…

Sirius transforming and protecting them from Lupin the werewolf…

Sirius' look of surprise as he saw Harry and Hermione having come to rescue him on Buckbeak…

Sirius getting ready to escape on Buckbeak telling him that he is truly his father's son…

Sirius in the cave with Buckbeak eating the food they had snuck to him…

Sirius' head in the fire trying to help Harry with the first task…

Sirius at Grimmauld Place drinking butterbeer, laughing at Fred and George…

Sirius standing up for Harry's right to know what Voldemort was up to…

Chasing his tail on the way to King's Cross Station…

Challenging Snape in the kitchen…

Talking about James…

Sirius running into the fray at the ministry, wand drawn…

Sirius falling…

Harry could feel his heart pounding. Something like the roar of an ocean wave was gradually building through his mind. His lungs seemed to be having trouble getting enough air. He shifted his feet and lifted his head slightly. Darkness scattered itself on the edges of his vision then spread closer and closer to the center. Harry felt his body grow heavier. His knees began to give way.

"Ron!" Hermione's urgent whisper skirted across the din in his head.

Harry just barely felt her release his hand and move in front of him, shielding him, as Ron stepped up taking a hold of his arm to support him.

"Hang on, Harry," Remus whispered quickly in his ear.

`Please…just leave me here…this is where I belong…' Harry heard his thoughts beg.

In some part of his mind, he knew he had been turned around and was being helped back through the mourners. Harry thought he heard whispers rippling through his haze and felt Remus and Ron tighten their grip on him as he felt his body sag even closer to the ground. "No," Harry heard himself half-whisper, half-moan. "Let me go…just leave me here…" Then Remus muttered something and Harry felt himself hurtling though the darkness.

~>^<~>^<~>^<~>^<~

Harry felt another thud as his feet hit his bedroom floor.

"Harry!" He heard Hermione cry.

Ron and Remus braced him and then helped Harry to his bed.

"Hermione, would you mind waiting downstairs?" Remus asked, his voice breaking slightly.

She nodded and went quickly down the steps, tears flowing freely down her face. She met Dobby as she stepped onto the landing.

He looked up worriedly at Hermione. "Dobby will see if he can help," he said quietly as he trotted up the stairs.

Hermione sank down on the couch and put her face in her hands. Sobs wracked her body but she kept silent. After several minutes, she felt someone sit beside her and put his arm around her. Hermione turned and buried her face into Ron's chest, crying quietly now. Ron sighed, drew her closer and held on.

"D-did you hear w-what he said right b-before we left?" Hermione choked out.

"Yeah…" Ron replied glumly, wiping his damp eyes on his sleeve.

Hermione's tears eased and after a bit she asked, "H-how is he now?"

"Exhausted," Ron said heavily. "According to Dobby, Harry hasn't eaten in two or three days nor has he slept without having nightmares. Dobby thinks he's been avoiding sleep because of them. The Dursley's left two days ago on holiday and Harry's been here by himself…"

"What!" Hermione sat up quickly, her watery eyes looking up at Ron incredulously. "I wondered where they were but…they left him by himself? Don't they know what he's been through?"

"I don't know…I couldn't believe it either." Ron said quietly. "Dumbledore came here yesterday after he visited us. He sent Dobby right away after he saw Harry."

"Dobby! Why didn't Dumbledore bring us here yesterday?" Hermione said, fuming. "I realize Harry has to stay here a bit for his own protection but why can't at least one of us be with him? Doesn't he remember what happened last summer…how angry and hurt Harry was?"

Ron shook his head. "I don't know…you'll have to ask Dumbledore."

"Trust me, I will."

Just then, the topic of their conversation appeared in front of them and Hermione and Ron jumped.

"Please forgive me for popping in like that." Dumbledore's normally twinkling eyes were red-rimmed and troubled. "Is Harry upstairs?"

They nodded and Dumbledore hurried up the steps.

They sat in silence for a few moments then Hermione looked at Ron. "I'm going up there."

He nodded and followed. Hermione stopped in the doorway and put her hand on the frame to steady herself. Harry was lying in bed with his eyes closed, his face quite pale next to his dark hair. Dumbledore, Dobby and Lupin were talking in low voices by the window. Dumbledore glanced at Hermione and said quietly, "Why don't we move downstairs so as not to disturb Harry."

Hermione met Dumbledore's eyes defiantly then walked past him to Harry's side and sat in the chair that had been moved next to Harry's bed. She took his hand in hers but he did not stir. Worried, Hermione turned to Dumbledore.

"I have given him a sleeping draught that will hopefully allow him rest with no dreams for at least a little while." Dumbledore responded quickly.

"I want to stay with him," Hermione said quietly, looking back at Harry.

"It would be best if we let him rest, Hermione. Please come downstairs." Dumbledore waited patiently for her to accompany him down the steps.

Hermione hesitantly released Harry's hand and rose slowly. She turned for one last look before finally following Dumbledore.

When they had all reached the living room, Hermione rounded on Dumbledore. "I'm not leaving this house as long as Harry is here."

"Me either," agreed Ron.

"I surmised as much. Professor Lupin has also agreed to stay." Dumbledore said. "Hermione, why don't you ring your parents? I will go and let Ron's parents know the situation. Hermione, please have your parents pack a bag for you and let them know that I will be coming to their home to retrieve it. I'll be back shortly with your things." Dumbledore disappeared.

Hermione quickly called her parents and explained the situation. In about thirty minutes, Dumbledore was back with two suitcases for Ron and Hermione. "Remus, why don't you go home and get what you need? I'll stay here with Ron and Hermione until you get back." Remus nodded and Apparated.

Dumbledore turned back to Ron and Hermione. "Dobby has also asked to stay so that he can be of help to Harry."

"Harry doesn't need to be alone-even with Dobby." Hermione said sharply. "He has suffered so much in the past weeks…been left by himself too many times in the past year…why didn't you let us come and stay with him?"

"I wish that I had…I had no idea the Dursley's had left him until yesterday." Dumbledore's eyes were watery and he looked down shaking his head. "I didn't realize how much he is still grieving…"

"Don't you understand that he's still alone-worse than alone- when the Dursleys are here?" Hermione's voice was rising. "This past year he needed more…support…more than he's ever needed. And because of the lack of it from you, he doesn't trust you like he needs to! He thought you didn't care! Can't you see the danger you've created?"

"Hermione-" Ron said grabbing her arm.

"No, she's absolutely right…" Dumbledore interjected quietly, a tear escaping down his cheek. "You may know that I spoke with Harry for an extended time the morning after the Ministry battle. He was also quite angry, and rightfully so. I've apologized to him for my mistakes this past year. I know that I'll have to build his trust in me again."

With tears spilling from her eyes, Hermione walked slowly over to Dumbledore and placed her hand on his arm. "I know you love him…I didn't mean to make you feel worse. It's just…he needs you and he needs us…more than ever now."

Dumbledore nodded. "I'm grateful he has you and Ron. But I warn you: Harry may try to push you both away. I know you won't let him succeed."

Remus Apparated back into the house with his belongings. Setting his bags down, he looked at the others as though sensing the tension in the air.

Dumbledore turned and said, "It is time for me to go, but before I leave…" he flicked his wand and the furniture glided back a few feet. "You'll be needing these…" Dumbledore waved his wand and three squishy sleeping bags appeared each with a mattress and pillow. "Dobby can take care of anything else you need. I'll be back tomorrow. Good night." Dumbledore disappeared.

They took turns changing in the downstairs toilet. Ron walked into the living room with his dressing robe over a T-shirt and pajama bottoms. He sat on the couch beside Hermione who was now wearing blue sweat pants and a T-shirt.

"I don't guess any of us knew how awful Harry was really feeling," Ron said ruefully, shaking his head.

"I don't think so, either. At school, we were stuck in the infirmary most of the time and couldn't go to him. I worried when he didn't come to visit very much…he seemed so closed off the few times he did...and then after we got out…it was just so hard to know whether or not he wanted to talk about what happened." Hermione shook her head as fresh tears gathered in her eyes and Ron put his arm around her.

Remus walked into the living room, a shabby dressing robe over his nightclothes. He sank down tiredly in an armchair and sighed. "I really don't think Harry can take much more right now. Dumbledore said that Harry is convinced that Sirius' death along with the whole ministry battle was his fault. He's also taking responsibility for your injuries and told Dumbledore that both of you would be safer without him as your friend."

Hermione gave a small cry and covered her mouth while Ron gasped, "What!"

Remus nodded wearily at them.

"Oh, poor Harry…" Hermione breathed softly.

"Obviously, the next few days need to be as good as we can make them for Harry. I wanted to let you know-I have a meeting that I must attend for the Order tomorrow so I'll be gone for a few hours in the afternoon."

"We'll take care of him…" Ron said quietly.

"I know you will." Remus reached around the chair and brought a chess set out of his suitcase. "I brought this just in case the Dursleys didn't have one."

"Thanks. Mom sent a game of Exploding Snap in my bag, too. Maybe we can arrange a trip to Diagon Alley later when Harry's up to it," Ron mused. "He hasn't seen the twin's joke shop yet. That might cheer him a bit."

"Sounds good. Let's get some sleep, then."

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