This was my first fic so please be nice.
I only spent about 2 hours writing this chapter, so I don't consider it the best work I could produce, so please keep that in mind when you are reviewing.
Important A/N: This story was originally posted on Fanfiction, and being my first work, wasn't that good. I revised and re-edited it to make it more tolerable for Portkey, but it's still sketchy in places. Please ignore that fact and read it anyway, I promise you my writing gets better as the story progresses, and the sequel is actually halfway decent.
The start of this story takes place halfway through year 6 at Hogwarts.
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Chapter 1: Getting it All Out
Harry opened his eyes on Friday morning, and looked at his watch. 7:30. He had about a half hour before he had to get up and start his business for the day. He lay in his bed and thought about the recent events that had taken place earlier in the week. First of all, there was Ron and Luna beginning to date. That hit Harry pretty hard, as he didn't think Ron and Luna were really the right type for each other. They had almost nothing in common, but then again he thought about the saying he had heard from Hermione after Ron had told them, "opposites attract...".
Harry also had to contend with problems brewing with Malfoy and, worse than him, Snape. For most of the year until recently, Malfoy stayed away from Harry, mostly. Although Draco never missed an opportunity to snigger at Harry when Snape criticized him for his poor potion-making abilities, he mostly had left Harry alone, mainly because Harry was partially responsible for his father's capture (at least this is what Harry thought).
Snape on the other hand, despised Harry more than ever. Although Harry didn't think it was possible, Snape had become more vicious and deadly towards not just Harry, but all the Gryffindors in ALL years in fact. Harry felt responsible for this, because he knew that Snape had not wanted him in his NEWT classes. But somehow, Harry had managed to achieve an O in his potions OWL, so Snape could not refuse him in his class, although Harry had heard that he tried to persuade Dumblebore otherwise.
On top of all of this, Harry didn't have his godfather to talk to about any of this. Sirius. The loss of his godfather had hit him harder than anyone could have possibly imagined. Even Ron and Hermione were starting to get worried. According to them, Harry was not paying attention in class. This didn't really surprise him, as he had completely screwed up a switching spell in transfiguration so badly, that instead of turning the empty bottle of butterbeer into a flute like he was supposed to be doing, he missed the bottle completely, and instead hit Seamus' hat, which proceeded to turn in to a trumpet and blasted Beethoven's Ode to Joy as loud as it possibly could.
Harry looked at his watch again. 8:15. He lay in bed for a minute then did a double take. 8:15! He was supposed to be at breakfast already! He had Quidditch practice at 8:30, and then Transfiguration at 9. Speedily, he rushed to his clothing drawers, pulled out his robes, and sped down the stairs from the boy's dormitory as quick as he could.
When he arrived in the great hall five minutes later, most of the students paid no attention to him, but Hermione jumped up, waived, and said something to the person whom she was sitting next to, which turned out to be Ron. Harry hurried over and sat down to a plate of eggs and bacon, which Hermione had already prepared for him.
"See, I 'old 'oo he'd be 'ere," said Ron through a mouthful of eggs.
"Yes, well he really shouldn't have chanced being late for practice again, right Harry?" Harry was playing with his food, and didn't hear the last bit of Hermione's statement.
"RIGHT HARRY?!" she yelled at him.
"Wha-?" said Harry startled. "Oh, right. You're right, I shouldn't have chanced it." He was still looking at his food while he said this and for a minute afterward didn't make eye contact with either Ron or Hermione.
After about a minute after this, Ron spoke up.
"It's Sirius, isn't it?" At this, Harry put his fork down and put his head in his hands.
"Ron!" said Hermione indignanatly.
"What, I'm just trying to help, you said yourself that talking about it is the best thing to make the problem go away."
"I know," she responded. "But I don't think this is a good time to bring up-" she lowered her voice so only Ron could hear it, "Sirius."
"It's ok," said Harry straightening up. "There really isn't much to talk about, but if you think it'll help, let's just wait until tonight after all these damn classes. I want to have my head clear if I'm going to finally talk about this."
"Ok, Harry, just please try to keep a clear head today, especially around Snape and Malfoy today in Potions," said Hermione suggestively.
"Ugh," was the response that she was greeted with by Ron. "I forgot we had double potions with the slimeball today. I swear, Malfoy gets more like Snape everyday, he's even started to grease his hair back too, the git." This summoned a chuckle from Hermione, and a slight smile from Harry, which was the first they had seen in a while.
Classes were not nearly as bad as they could have been, Snape only had them brew a simple sleeping draught, as a pop quiz for review. There were no problems as the three of them aced it because it was a second-year potion. The bell rang to signal the end of class, and in turn, dinner.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione ate dinner in silence, although Ron and Hermione kept exchanging looks to one another throughout the meal. Luna came over during the course of the meal and said hi to Ron, which he responded to with a kiss on the cheek. He whispered something to her which neither Harry or Hermione heard, but Harry had a feeling that he was saying something about what was going to happen later on that evening, though he secretly felt that Hermione was probably going to be the one doing most of the talking.
They got to the common room after dinner and after taking one look at it, decided that it would be better to have this conversation in the dorms where they would not be interrupted.
"What about Dean, Seamus, and Neville?" asked Hermione.
"Dean told me that he and Seamus had a lot of Transfiguration homework to catch up on, and that Neville had a detention he needed to serve for Snape," replied Ron.
Hermione nodded and the three of them walked up to the 6th year boy's dorm in silence. When they got there Harry sat down on his bed and Ron closed the door. Hermione sat down on the bed next to Harry, and Ron sat on Neville's bed, which was across from Harry's. There was silence in the room for about 5 minutes, when Hermione spoke up.
"You know Harry, you don't have to do this if you don't want to."
"No, I need to get this off my chest, I've just been searching for the words."
"Ok.....," said Hermione hesitantly. Ron just stared at Harry.
"All right, it's like this," said Harry taking a deep breath after a few more minutes of silence. "Sirius is dead. I know that nothing I do will bring him back, and I accept that." Hermione and Ron continued to look on. "The thing is, I know that it's my fault, no matter what anyone says. I was the one who ignored the Occlumency lessons from Snape. I was the one who didn't think that Dumbledore cared about anything anymore. I was the one who insisted that we go to the ministry, and I was the one who ignored your warning, Hermione," said Harry, with tears starting well in his eyes. Hermione put her arm around him.
"Harry, all of those things are true, but look at the facts. Out of all of the students here at Hogwarts, you are the only one who has saved ANY of us. You saved Ginny from Riddle in the second year, you saved me from the dementors in the third year, and you brought back the body of Cedric at risk to your OWN life two years ago. I know, and so does Ron, that you would not have gone to the ministry if you had not thought that Sirius was in grave danger. So the end result is that yes, you were partially responsible for his death, but of all things, you did not CAUSE his death. Bellatrix Lestrange is the one who caused Sirius to die. Not you." At this Harry looked up at Hermione.
"She's got a point mate," said Ron from the other side of the room. Harry lay down on his bed, and stared at the ceiling.
"Maybe you're right," he said.
"I know I'm right," replied Hermione. "Listen, I know you loved Sirius, and I know that he loved you. But I also know that you being his family, he would want you to be happy, not emotionally distraught over his death. And because he was your only family, you obviously would want to do the things that would make him happy in his death. So put his death behind you and just remember, no matter what you do, and where you are, that Sirius is with you." Harry looked at Hermione and she could see a single tear started to roll down the side of his face. She wiped it off with her robes, then kissed him on the cheek and said good night.
Hermione left the room, and Ron got into his pajamas and climbed into the bunk above Harry.
"Feel any better?" he asked.
"Yeah, a little," Harry replied.
"Well try to get it all out of your system, you have a big game against Slytherin tomorrow don't forget."
A smile slowly appeared on Harry's face. It would be his first game back since he had been banned by Umbridge the previous year, and he couldn't wait to see the look on Malfoy's face when he took the snitch right out from under his nose....again.
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Please post feedback, cuz' I really want to find out how I did with this chapter.