Unofficial Portkey Archive

I owed a debt of gratitude to Luna. She was such a nice girl. Always had a nice thing to say about everybody, except for Ron. When she found out Ron had taken up with some Romanian girl, she started to become a bit more unhinged than usual. She had taken that old wonderful lion head she had made for the big quidditch match at school a few years ago, and made a few key changes. Sometimes, when I came over to her place, she would be stark naked running around with the thing on her head. However, it did not roar anymore. It made a chewing and crunching sound and whenever its mouth opened you could hear Ron screaming as if he was being eaten alive. I knew it was unhealthy for her to dwell, but who was I to criticize someone's coping mechanism.

I was able to bite my lip hard enough to draw a bit of blood while I had been hanging upside down up on that mountain. I wrote with my finger on the back of the letter Ginny had sent me. I asked Luna to please get my wand from my other pants and owl it back to me and then sent it off with Hedwig. I was only trapped up there for about eleven hours, but you know it really gave me time to think. Mainly, I decided that I didn't like hanging upside down for eleven hours.

So, I was currently on the Knight Bus and was getting a ride to a little town nestled away in Germany. I was told it was a tad out of their way and they usually didn't take passengers that far. I gave everyone on the bus thirty galleons each and they all seemed to think that going to do a little sight-seeing in Germany was just what the doctor, or in this case healer, ordered. It was a highly pleasant ride, in which not once but twice a sweet little boy had dropped his lunch on my lap. The real problem being that he had already eaten it. I smiled at the mother, who for some reason thought it best to ignore the whole situation altogether. I just love how some parents are so concerned with people's welfare aside from their own. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

The bus had finally made it to our destination. As I was getting off a number of the passengers clapped and cheered on my behalf. I knew it was because they were happy to see me arrive safely at my destination. Although, thinking back it might have been the thirty galleons that did it. Nevertheless, I had arrived and had every plan to enjoy the sights of beautiful Vilabighoffenschplork, a quaint little wizarding town nestled in a quiet part of the countryside. I took one look around and found what I had been looking for, a small pub just across the street. I read the sign out front and sure enough it was the place Ginny had told me to meet her at. I sauntered on in and started to look for her.

It was easy to spot her. She was such a cute little thing. She was wearing all black leather and she had put a long, black streak down the middle of her flaming red hair. She had recently gotten some new piercings, but I lost count after about fifteen. It was really good to see her. She saw me and waved enthusiastically. I walked over and plunked myself down in the chair right next to her. I noticed that when I did a number of the male wizards in the pub began to scowl quite seriously at me. Apparently, Ginny was quite popular in town and the men-folk thought I was a new bit of competition.

"Don't worry about them," Ginny said. "I may look the part, but I don't let anyone near this body. I'm saving myself for Draco. Well, right after I put my foot all the way up his arse and then beat him unconscious a few times. Then, we can get down to the fun part."

She always had a way with words. She was like the little sister I never had. One look at her and you can see why Ron was so proud of her. I seem to remember the last thing he said about her was, "Who Ginny? Never heard of her." That Ron, he was such a kidder.

"So," I asked her, "where's this little flat you ran across?"

"Well, it isn't exactly a regular flat. There's not a whole lot to rent in this town, so I jumped on the chance at renting the upstairs of a local bakery. They converted it to a nice place to live, but after they had nine kids, decided they needed a bigger house. The rent is pretty reasonable though; only a galleon a month. I don't exactly have an income right now, so I could use the help."

"It's no problem," I told her honestly, "I was looking to get out of town anyhow. This will be a great chance to do just that. And, with a bakery just downstairs I can stick it to the man by loading up on the carbs and gaining thirty or forty pounds."

"What man are you exactly sticking it to?" Ginny asked.

"Uh, well, I guess in this case, I'd be sticking it to the woman. Just wait until Hermione realizes that after Viktor dumps her and she comes crawling back to me, I'll be all fat and happy."

"Yeah," responded Ginny, "that'll show her alright."

She seemed to be rolling her eyes into the back of her head when she said that last line. I think she must have been trying to see what the inside of her eyelids look like. I could have told her to not bother. I already tried it and it doesn't work.

Speaking of bakeries though, I really love baked goods. They make me do happy dances. Which, I felt should be toned down while living with Ginny. I knew she liked dancing, but I heard rumor that her style was a bit more exotic then what I could probably do. Especially after eating a half dozen cinnamon rolls. Mmmm, mmmm.

"Harry, come on. Let's get out of here. We can go crash at our place until morning. I know you must be really tired. We can catch up on things. To be honest, I've really missed you. You've always been a good friend to me."

I was fairly touched by her last statement. I always tried to be nice to Ginny for two reasons. I felt kind of bad for her, because being in such a big family it was easy to get lost in the shuffle. Secondly, of course, was because I was scared of her. She could cast a mean bat bogey hex. I'd seen it in action. She was a witch to be reckoned with. That brings me to the reason why I would so readily agree to help her win over Draco's heart. She would get exactly what she wanted from their relationship at all times, or she would punish him. I'll leave it up to you to figure out exactly how that would play out. Thinking about it brought a happy, happy feeling to my tummy.

As we were walking towards my new home, I began to think about Hermione. I missed her almost all the time now. When she left it made kind of a funny hole in my heart. When I got her wedding announcement, notice how I did not say invitation there, the hole got even bigger. She didn't even want me to come. That fateful night when she decided to leave, I tried to tell her how much I cared about her and would miss her terribly if she were to go, but she didn't want to listen. Well, I assume that she didn't want to, because she didn't even bother to turn her broom around when I tried shouting to her after she was about a half mile away. Women!

We had finally arrived at the bakery. It smelled absolutely wonderful. I fully intended to spend a large amount of my fortune here in the very near future. Ginny started to pull me away to the door in the alleyway. Apparently, me pressing my lips against the front glass and making yummy sounds made her a bit uncomfortable. So, upstairs we went and into my very own flat, roommate pre-included. It was quite nice. I would go so far as to say that if there were not a bakery downstairs that this would be a nice place to retire in.

Ginny threw herself onto a big, comfy looking couch in the middle of the living room. I did it to, but it was hard to understand what she was saying, so I got off her.

"Harry, you are a serious nut lately. Whatever happened to you? I kind of thought you were always going to be there for us… for me. Now, everyone is gone and you didn't even lift a finger to stop them. What's wrong?"

I thought about it for a minute and gave an honest answer, "I'm not really sure. I guess when Ron left I felt sort of abandoned. Then Hermione left and then I got her wedding announcement. That kind of threw my whole universe into a tailspin. I miss her. I had always kind of thought, well it doesn't matter now I guess."

Ginny looked at me. "You kind of thought you two would always get together?"

"Yeah," I replied a bit lamely.

She chewed on that a bit and said earnestly, "To be honest, I always thought you two would hook up as well. It kind of makes me lose my faith in love to hear she's marrying creepy ol' Vikky"

"Oh, what am I going to do Ginny? I'm a complete wreck."

"I have an idea," she told me, "we still have some time. Let's come up with a plan. How can we fix your problem and mine all at the same time?"

I thought and I thought and the only thing I could come up with was, "How about this? We go to Romania and kidnap Ron; then we go to Bulgaria and drop Krum down a long, dark well and snag Hermione; then we go and grab Luna and bring her here as well, might as well get Neville while we're in the area; then we'll go and get Brunhilde and drop her down the same well as Viktor and you can steal away Malfoy. After we get them all together we'll move down to Bermuda. I hear it's really nice down there. What do you think?"

"What do I think?! I think you are the single most intelligent person I have ever met." Ginny exclaimed with sheer delight in her eyes.

"Really?" I said, "Smarter than Hermione?"

"Well no, not smarter than Hermione."

"Well, smarter than Dumbledore?"

"No, not really smarter than Dumbledore either."

"Alright, then what about Hagrid am I smarter than Hagrid?"

Ginny pursed her lips for a second, "Yes, smarter than Hagrid."

"Hah!" I said. I knew I was smarter than someone. I was kind of hoping it would be a bit higher on the scale, but I wasn't going to argue semantics.

"I'm kind of beat, Harry. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow. We're going to be doing a lot of traveling and I need to pack for about three different climates. So, I'll see you in the morning."

"Right, so where do I sleep?"

Ginny pointed, "There's like three bedrooms that are sitting empty upstairs, near mine. Go up and take your pick."

"Can I sleep in your room?"

"Umm, Harry, no offense, but that boat left the harbor about three years ago."

"You mean the boat was in the harbor at some point?"

Ginny's mouth stood open, "Did you really have no idea? Boy you really are clueless sometimes."

"So, there's no chance of you and I ever…"

Ginny just about went on a condescending tirade, but her face went suddenly quite soft, which underneath all those piercings was quite the accomplishment.

"Harry, if you really, really want to still be with me, then yes, you can sleep in my room tonight."

"Really, really?" I said.

"Sure, but I'll be sleeping somewhere else."

Those Weasleys, they're all such a bunch of kidders. Plus, Hermione was the only girl for me. I was saving myself for her. Unless you count that one time with the twins Parvati and Padma, but I decided that really didn't count, because they were never actually there. Ah, the foibles of youth. Anyway, time to get some sleep. I have the most wonderful girl in the whole darn world to kidnap, I mean rescue. Yep, rescue, that's the word I was looking for.