"Omg, what are all you guys doing here?!"
Thus came the voice of a certain Neville Longbottom, standing there peering at the four of them rolling around on the floor. Beside him, wearing an equally bewildered expression, was his girlfriend, Susan Bones.
Harry looked up at the two of them and set off into laughter again. Confused, Neville turned to Ron, and then Hermione, but was met with the same answer. It was finally Luna who answered him.
"Neville," she whispered in a solemn tone, "do you see those two people down the hall?" She paused, and then added, "Could you tell me what they're doing?"
Neville and Susan glanced down the hallway for the first time. The four already in the crevice watched them eagerly. Neville's eyes grew wide and he suddenly collapsed next to Harry, shaking with laughter. Susan soon followed suit.
"Yeah," whispered Luna, "yeah, thanks."
*~*
Snape and McGonagall had left the hallway by the time Harry, Hermione, Ron, Luna, Neville, and Susan had collected themselves and moved on. With a solemn pact not to tell anybody about what they had just witnessed, they all split up: Neville and Susan to go make out in Hufflepuff's common room, Ron and Luna to go make out in Ravenclaw's, and Harry and Hermione to go make out in Gryffindor's.
All too soon, however, it was time for dinner. Harry and Hermione picked themselves up from the couch, straightened their clothes, and headed down to the Great Hall for some nourishment after a long day of laughing, making out, and watching other people make out.
"Hey Ron, hey Luna," Harry greeted them cordially, not revealing in the slightest of the day's affairs. Hermione greeted them accordingly.
"Hey?" replied Ron, looking at him in a confused way. He said bye to Luna and then sat down next to Harry. Almost immediately, Neville came running over.
"Guys," he panted, slumping on the table and gasping, "everybody knows!"
Harry, Ron, and Hermione just stared at him blankly.
"Everybody- knows?" repeated Hermione.
"Yes!!" Neville exclaimed. "About McGonagall and you-know-who!!"
"OMG!!!!" came a sudden squeal from the left of Neville, and the four of them looked over to see Parvati Patil sitting dumbstruck. "McGonagall's in accordance with You-Know-Who!" she whispered. "I should've known!"
And with that, she rushed off down the table to tell the rest of Gryffindor House that.
"Parvati-" Harry started, but then stopped. It was of no use. Once you got Parvati fixed on something, you could never change her opinion or her mind.
"Anyway," cut in Hermione, looking intently at Neville, "how - in the holy hell, pardon the language - does everybody know?!"
For some reason, all eyes suddenly fell on Ron. He shifted in his seat and looked mildly uncomfortable.
"Uh..." he faltered. "Why- why- why's everyone looking at me?"
But Harry knew. "Ron!!!" he exclaimed. "You told!!!"
Ron shifted again and went very red in the face. "Told?" he asked. "Uh, told what?"
"Ron, shut up," said Hermione. "You told everyone!!"
"Okay, so I can't keep a secret!" Ron admitted. "Uh..."
"Yeah, 'uh...' is right!" Harry exclaimed. "The whole school knows! Omg, Ron!"
The three of them just stared at Ron. Then, all of a sudden, they all broke out into laughter. Clutching their sides, Harry, Hermione, Neville, and Ron slumped on the benches, gasping for breath as great laughs mercilessly overtook their bodies.
"Well, well, well," came the snarling voice of Professor Snape for the second time that day. "What have we here? What is all this laughter about?"
The four of them turned scared eyes upon him, standing over them in his evil and imposing manner.
"Uh...." tried Hermione. "Uh...." she faltered.
"Well?" Snape barked. "Is there an explanation?"
"Well, actually, sir," started Ron, "we were just laughing over- over- over this uh, joke, yeah, joke, that Harry told. It was- uh- really funny! Yeah! Really funny! It was!"
Snape looked at him suspiciously. "Joke, you say," he said thoughtfully. Then, abruptly, he turned to Harry. "Let's hear it, then."
Harry was taken aback. "Uh- wha-?" he stammered.
"The- joke-" snarled Snape. "Now."
Harry glanced helplessly over at Ron, who mouthed, "MAKE UP A JOKE!!!! PLEASE!!!!"
Harry gulped and squirmed. "Right," he said breathlessly, trying to sound natural. "The joke. Well, uh...." He turned to Hermione. "Uh... uh... well, um... um... oh, why the hell did the chicken cross the road?!" he blurt out.
Across the table, Ron slapped his hand to his forehead. Hermione looked like she was on the verge of bursting out laughing; however, she managed to keep her face blank and respond quite calmly, "I don't know, Harry. Please, tell me why."
Harry gulped again and tried to grin. "Because- because- because he wanted to get to the other side!!!" he blurt out again. "Uh- hahahahahahaha!!!"
Taking the cue, Hermione, Neville, and Ron also started laughing. Harry snuck a few glances at Snape, who was standing as if frozen by their lameness.
"Please," snarled Snape, "at least try to amuse me next time."
And with that, he walked off.
Once he was safely out of earshot, Harry turned to Ron and hissed, "Ron, I hate you!! Never do that to me again!!"
"Well," giggled Hermione, who seemed to be having quite the laugh attack, "you've got to admit, that was pretty funny."
"Oh yeah, it's a barrel of laughs when Snape's standing there breathing down your neck and you're trying to think up a faintly amusing joke!" Harry exclaimed.
"Well, you didn't quite succeed," giggled Neville, who was also caught up in laughs. "You can't really say your joke was- er- even faintly amusing. Although," he added, laughs now marring his speech, "it was pretty shocking to hear you use an- uh- expletive- right in front of Snape."
Harry grinned despite himself and then started laughing as he thought of the lame joke plus bonus expletive he had produced off the top of his head. "Oh, man," he groaned. "Oh man, I am an idiot!"
Hermione giggled and bobbed her head. "That you are," she agreed. She smiled warmly at him and placed her hand over his. "But that's why I love you so, boy."
Harry smiled back at her, and they were just advancing into the get-lost-in-each-other's-eyes stage when Ron chose that moment to say, "Oh, you guys never told me what was going on with you!! Hey!! I demand to be let in!!"
Harry and Hermione pulled back and looked at Ron. Hermione shrugged. Harry tried to explain.
"Well, earlier today, it was the first time we saw- er- those two teachers- er- making out in the hallway. Then all of a sudden we started making out, and it just kinda went from there."
Hermione nodded in agreement. "It was like our brains stopped working and our senses just took over," she added.
"Hey, poetic," Neville commented as he reached for one of the food bowls.
Hermione rolled her eyes and continued. "I don't know, it was kind of a natural thing to do. Like, a reflex. When someone hits you, you say 'ow', don't you? It's like when we were alone and pressed up against each other, our natural reflex was to start kissing."
"Well," said Ron thoughtfully, "I don't always say 'ow' when I get hurt. The more likely choice of words would be, fu-"
"ANYway," cut in Hermione, "it's a reflex kind of thing. Never mind the ow-hurt example."
Neville grinned. "That's so cute," he said. "Like, totally cute. Now me and Susan, we had this whole avoiding-each-other thing going on because we knew we liked each other and we just like, avoided each other or something. Then one day, as we were walking past each other, I just pulled her into the nearest closet and we started making out. From then on, we've been a couple."
"So you're more like, the agressive-love type of couple," Harry commented. "Cool."
"Well," said Ron, "mine and Luna's story.... I dunno, it was just kind of strange and then just totally awesome." A smile lit up his face as his mind ran through the story of how he and Luna had met.
"It was so sweet," he said. "Her bag had ripped in the middle of the hallway, and she was picking up all her stuff. I stooped down to help her... and my bag promptly ripped." He paused as Harry, Hermione, and Neville all laughed, and then continued, "We were laughing at each other and everything, and then there were just so many instances where we'd just be totally clumsy and look like completely idiotic fools in front of bunches of people, but to each other we just grew more and more lovable. Finally, it was one day when we were just taking a random walk around the lake, talking about stuff, and she just randomly runs into the lake and pulls me in after her. We were having the most fun just swimming around and splashing each other and stuff, and then, we were just doing something, horsing around or whatever, and we ended up face-to-face, and we just kinda looked into each other's eyes and our lips.... just kinda met." A dreamy smile, much like Luna's, appeared on his face as he finished his story. "It was just kinda.... wonderfully goofy, yet perfectly magical."
Hermione sighed in contentment. "That's so sweet," she said. "So romantic. You could make a movie out of that or something." She turned to Harry and smiled. "But I still love how we got together, Harry. That was just... just... just... pure... magic."
Harry smiled tenderly at her. "Of course it was," he said. "Of course it was."
And they settled in for a long kiss, with Ron and Neville in the background, hooting and cheering for all the world to hear.