By the end of that week, nearly every single student knew about Snape and McGonagall's love affair, thanks to Ron's abnormally huge mouth. Harry and Hermione were suspecting that even some of the professors knew, as a lot of them had taken to giggling endlessly in either Snape or McGonagall's presence, and a few had even completely refused to talk to either of them, sending messengers with notes.
In their Potions and Transfiguration classes, students were finding it extremely hard to concentrate, mainly because of the fact that they kept having wild visions of the teacher standing up at the front of the classroom snogging away with a certain other teacher. It was enough to give a few people stomachaches, which they found very hard to explain to Madam Pomfrey.
Students, when encountering either of the couple in the hallway, would dart into closets or hide behind statues until they passed. None of them especially wanted to have an encounter with one of them.
Snape and McGonagall, however, seemed to take no notice of any of this. They were noticeably stranger in their classes, however. McGonagall once told everybody that there was to be no homework for the next week because she was going to be too "busy" to grade it. She had also taken to cracking abysmally unintelligent jokes and giggling in class. Snape, however, was where most of the changes were taking place. There was one memorable class where he had shown up thirty minutes late to teach, and then had taught the remainder of the lesson with a lady's bra stuck to the back of his robes. He had seemed to have a bit of trouble finding out what all the students kept cracking up about.
All in all, however, Hogwarts was having a period of funnyness which even Fred & George Weasley couldn't surpass.
*~*
"So," Harry explained, "the right way to transport an object without using Apparition is to sharply jab your wand at the objects and say the words. Eas-"
"Snogging again?"
Harry, Hermione, Luna, Neville, and Susan all looked up to see Ron standing over them, wearing the beginnings of a smile on his face.
"Oh yeah, totally," Harry replied casually. "I've just been sitting here going over homework with these guys and we've been snogging wildly between problems."
Ron grinned and plopped down on the grass next to Luna. "Thought so," he replied. He poked Harry's paper. "What's that?"
Harry looked at him. "Notes," he emphasized. "We have exams coming up, remember?"
Ron looked at Harry as if he'd just announced he was shaving his head and moving to Mexico. "Exams are in... June," he replied. "Last I heard, it was March."
Harry shrugged. "Channeling Hermione's spirit," he replied.
Neville cocked his head to the side. "That doesn't make sense," he said. "You can't channel Hermione's spirit if she's sitting right next to you."
"Yeah, really," agreed Susan. "She has to be, like, dead or something."
"Really, Harry," added Ron. "You'd think you would know tha-"
"Oh, shut up," Harry said playfully, slapping Ron. "Fine, I'm not channeling Hermione's spirit, I'm channeling Hermione. Good enough?"
"Nobody is channeling me!!" Hermione exclaimed. "I need all my spirit to pass exams, okay?!"
"Geez, Herm," said Ron, "exams are in, uh...."
"June," Luna said helpfully. Hermione and Susan giggled.
"Got it," replied Ron, glaring at them. "Uh... Hermione... wouldn't you rather be- uh- I dunno, snogging with Harry or something?" His face blushed bright red as soon as he said that.
Hermione glared back. "No, I'd rather be snogging with Lockhart," she replied icily. "Of course I'd rather be snogging with Harry. What do you think? That's what love is. However, I choose not to at the moment, because of exams coming up. We can, and most certainly will, snog later."
"Darn," said Harry sulkily, looking at the ground. Hermione giggled.
"Yeah, don't you worry, Harry," she said, grinning. "You'll get snogged soon enough."
Harry grinned at her, then went back to reading his textbook. Ron shook his head, smiling, and started playing with Luna's hair, while Neville and Susan finished their homework together.
*~*
The six of them were back inside and heading down to the Great Hall later that day for dinner. Chatting on about random things, they all turned a corner together.
And Hermione gasped. Harry gulped. Ron turned bright red. Luna cursed. Neville closed his eyes. And Susan fainted.
It wasn't a very serious faint, or anything. It was just because of the extreme shock. She came to a couple seconds later, apologizing softly. Then, they all turned to stare.
All of a sudden, a case of extreme giggles came over Hermione. She pulled the others back around the corner where they had come from, and then collapsed, giggling wildly. Luna and Susan soon followed suit. Harry, Ron, and Neville, however, just stood as if they were rooted to the spot, their mouths hanging wide open.
Yeah, because of Snape and McGonagall in the hallway again. Oh boy, were they getting intense this time. It was the whole devour-taste-ohplease-devour-taste thing again, except with the intensity level knocked up a few notches.
"Sweet holy hell," whispered Ron. "Madam Pomfrey, where are you?!"
This statement only made the three girls down on the floor giggle even harder. Harry shook his head. "Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, move over," he said. "Minerva and Severus, have come to town."
Neville mouthed wordlessly, his eyes still closed. "Oh God, just kill me now," he contributed to the conversation, if you could really call it a conversation.
They all just stood there for a few more seconds until a voice penetrated their beings. Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle had come up to them. For once in his life, Harry wasn't repulsed by the sight of them.
Malfoy gave a nasty grin and walked up to Harry. "Potter," he said smoothly. "What happened? You look like your parents just died." His tone changed to one of fake sympathy, and he said, "Oh goodness me, I completely forgot. Your parents are dead, aren't they?"
Harry wordlessly pointed around the corner. With a slightly confused expression, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle walked around the corner and looked. In less than a second, they were back, looking thoroughly disgusted, grossed out, and shocked all at once.
"Oh God, I see what you mean!" Malfoy exclaimed to Ron. "Man, what sickos!"
Ron nodded, also wordlessly. There was a sudden snort from his side, and he turned to look.
Crabbe and Goyle were cracking up. Which, essentially, was very unpleasant to watch. They were snorting, cackling, spit was flying out of their mouths, and they sank down to the floor against the wall, laughing the hell out of themselves.
Hermione, Luna, and Susan shrank away from the two, making disgusted faces. Almost instinctively, Harry, Ron, and Neville went over to protect their girlfriends. Malfoy, still immersed in disgust over what he had just seen, went over to look around the corner again.
"Hey, Harry! Harry! Harry, what are you doing?! Harry!"
Harry's stomach sank and he groaned inwardly as Colin and Dennis Creevey came running up to him.
"Hi, Colin. Hi, Dennis," he replied in a slightly tired, slightly annoyed voice. The brothers, however, didn't seem to notice that.
"Harry!" Colin squealed again. "What are you doing here?!"
Harry, at the end of his wits with the Creevey brothers, was just about to snap something rude back at them when Ron, who had been watching the whole exchange, cut in.
"Well, Colin," he said in a solemn tone, "we were just looking at something very interesting and engaging around this corner. Why don't you go take a look?"
Colin looked very excited at being included with Harry and his friends. "Oh, goody!" he exclaimed. "I'm going right away!" He darted around the corner, causing Malfoy to shoot him a disgusted look.
In less than two seconds, he was back. Harry, Ron, Neville, and the girls were finding it hard to contain their laughter by then.
"Uh, Harry...." faltered Colin uncertainly, "um, what I just saw...."
"Yes?" asked Harry politely, pretending he didn't know anything. "What did you see, Colin?"
"Oh, hahaha!!!" Colin suddenly exclaimed, also falling to the floor in a heap of laughter. Dennis looked around the corner himself and did the same thing.
More people soon came along, and had the exact same reactions. Within ten minutes, the whole of Gryffindor and Slytherin houses, plus a sizable amount of Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and professors, were gathered there, giggling, laughing, and watching the goings-on.
Surprisingly, Snape and McGonagall didn't even seem to take the least notice in all this. They were still snogging resolutely.
Harry and Hermione were peering around the corner and giggling when they suddenly felt two hands on their backs. They turned around to find Professor Dumbledore standing there looking at them both.
"May I ask," he said, "why nearly the whole of Hogwarts is standing here and obviously being very amused over something?"
Harry and Hermione stood rooted to the spot for a few seconds, and then realized, hey, why the hell not tell him the truth. Hermione cleared her throat.
"Professor," she said, "if you'd just look around that corner, you'd see exactly what is so amusing to us all."
With an unreadable expression, Dumbledore stepped forward and around the corner. Everyone gathered there, who had fallen silent when he began talking, now began shaking with silent laughter.
In a few seconds, Dumbledore had stepped back around the corner, with an amusingly hilarious expression on his face. He was, definitely, on the verge of cracking up.
"Well, goodness me," he said. "I- didn't- expect it to be- as funny as what I just saw-"
He stopped because he had begun laughing. Seeing him laugh, everyone else started to giggle and laugh also. Dumbledore managed to collect himself in a few seconds and, mopping tears from his eyes, turned back to Harry and Hermione.
"Goodness, what hilarity," he said. "But I am afraid I shall have to, ah, speak to those two."
Hermione giggled. Dumbledore smiled at her, then sighed. "Oh, what ever was I thinking when I took up this job," he said, and nearly everyone laughed. "But here I go," he said, trying to put on a determined air. Everyone laughed again.
And taking a deep breath, Dumbledore stepped around the corner. "Ahem," he said clearly.