Author's Note: Finally this comes! And Kitty thought I left Dinah out in the last couple chapters on accident.
Dedications: Meow!
To Kitty, my wonderful friend.
Chapter 14: Quality Time
Lily's excitement at upstaging the boys at Quidditch morphed into anxiety when the Potters called her and James inside for a chat, sober expressions on their faces. Sirius even let up his giddy, childish attitude, appearing a little anxious himself as well as curious. Remus flew in from the perimeter of the forest when he saw Lily and James dismount, and Sirius signaled to him not to follow the pair to the ground. They moved to busy Dinah with flying lessons before she tried following them too.
Lily glimpsed them through the porch screens before she stepped inside the living room, creating a blockade around the child with their brooms. They were telling her something to wipe the worried expression from her face.
This must be an important conversation, Lily mused, if Sirius and Remus were going to such lengths to ensure their privacy.
James and Lily sat side by side on the love seat across from the couch on which Mr. and Mrs. Potter placed themselves. For the first time, the moving pictures on the walls caught Lily's eye. They were mostly of James as a child, and all were of the Potter family. Some were of James with his mother, doting him, as any mother would; others were of Mr. and Mrs. Potter looking considerably younger (Erin might not have even been Mrs. Potter yet); and two showed another couple, a black-haired woman and a blond man. In one they were young, probably not much older than Lily and James, but in the other they were much older--more so than James's parents. They held a tiny bundle of blankets on their laps. Pudgy little arms waved up at them from the bundle and the woman took one of the baby's hands in her own to kiss it. The man only smiled down at the infant, a knowing smile, as though he'd raised the child before.
"My parents," said Mr. Potter, following her gaze. Lily was well-acquainted with his tone of voice; the same one she used to speak of her own parents. Soft, nostalgic, wistful, melancholy--she knew they were dead. "They're with James there. They...passed away not long after."
Lily was curious as to why, but felt it impolite to inquire. She bowed her head and nodded, memories of her parents sweeping over her. She said nothing to Mr. Potter, but she knew he understood.
"What is it you want to talk to us about?" asked James. His voice crackled as though he hadn't spoken in a while. Lily felt guilty for inadvertently reminding the Potters of their losses.
The mournful air swept from the room immediately. Mr. Potter set the morning paper on the glass topped coffee table between them and leaned back against the couch cushions, observing the teens over his steepled fingers.
"We want to speak to you both about Dinah," said Mrs. Potter, and she glanced over her shoulder out of habit, checking to see if Dinah was nearby. She didn't speak again for several moments; she seemed to be deciding the best way to word what she needed to say. "You two need to...bond with her."
This statement took Lily aback. She thought she and Dinah had bonded splendidly during the time they had spent together. Hadn't the child told her she loved her? Hadn't she wanted Lily to adopt her?
Mrs. Potter noted her expression and added, "I know she was with you before you met up with James, Lily, but bonding with your child takes much longer than a couple of days." Lily said nothing, though she admitted to herself that Mrs. Potter was right.
"I tucked her in last night," ventured James, wanting some credit. "And woke her up this morning. We've bonded some."
His father cocked an eyebrow. "Tucking a child in is a very small step toward bonding." James flushed. "You've spent far more time with Lily and your friends since you've come home than you have with Dinah. I imagine she feels very left out."
Lily thought of the scared, worried expression on Dinah's face as Sirius and Remus rushed to keep her airborne. She also remembered the child's determination to stay up and wait for Lily's return the night before, and how she had gone to James's room instead. Mr. Potter's words were enough guilt for James. They both felt like horrible parents.
"We don't mean to make you feel badly," Mrs. Potter rushed to say. "Though...judging by your expressions, we have." She sighed, feeling badly herself. "We only want to stress how important it is that you spend time with Dinah. As much time as possible. You're already acquainted with your friends--you've spent years with them. It's Dinah's turn for your attentions. She's your child now. Don't you want to know her well?"
"I hadn't even realized how often we deserted Dinah," said James apologetically. "I was too immersed in other things." He stared shamefully at his knees.
"Dinah is your number one concern now," said Mr. Potter. "Lily too. They're your family. You're going to have to sacrifice some things for them, and these sacrifices occur often. Sirius, Remus, and Peter will have to go out on their own some nights. You'll have to say no to a few Quidditch matches. And you might not get your first pick in everything." He threw a teasing sideways glance at his wife. "Actually, your mother makes most of the decisions around here."
"For good reason," Mrs. Potter teased back, smiling.
Lily grinned at James. "That's right. The pants are mine now. But don't worry; the skirt's freed up."
He stuck his tongue out at her.
"You two don't think we've been too--you know--parenty about this, do you?" asked Mrs. Potter. "We really are just trying to give you advice."
Lily shook her head. "No. It's great advice and we needed to hear it."
Both of the Potters smiled, relieved.
"It's just...well, we don't want to see her...erm...." Mrs. Potter looked as though saying the word on her mind would be painful.
"Neglected?" tried Lily, feeling a sting in her chest at the word's mention.
Mrs. Potter nodded, avoiding eye contact. A heavy silence blanketed the room, allowing more time for Lily and James's guilt to prick at them.
"We know you're new at this," said Mr. Potter, taking over for his wife; "we don't expect you to be wonderful at the get-go. Admittedly, your mother and I weren't the greatest of parents when you were first born, James." James met his mother's guilty, embarrassed gaze. "We still wanted to go out with our friends and you spent many nights with your grandparents.
"Well, one day we asked them to baby-sit when they had their own plans. Being selfish and young, we still tried to get them to watch you. That made my mother furious."
Lily tried to envision the sweet-looking woman in the pictures yelling at someone; it took much imagination. James's father seemed unnerved enough at the argument's mention, though; she must have been a sight to behold when infuriated.
"She gave us quite the telling-off, but needless to say, it did us a lot of good. We didn't go out with our friends for at least another three months, but we both had a very good relationship with you, and that was much more fulfilling."
James tried not to look too pleased at his father's words, but his blush and half-hidden grin were visible to all. He turned to Lily. "We should take her somewhere special. Just the three of us. Any ideas?"
Lily suddenly remembered something Dinah had asked her before they summoned the Knight Bus. Her slight smile returned to her face.
"I might know a place she'd like," she replied slyly.
- - -
Learning of the trip to Diagon Alley overjoyed Dinah. She shrieked with delight and threw her arms around the waists of Lily and James when they returned to the backyard bearing the news. Sirius and Remus didn't mind at all being left behind. They were happy to see that James and Lily were finally taking steps toward becoming a real couple, as well as better parents to Dinah.
Before going down for breakfast they'd dressed, so they were ready in almost five minutes. Lily and Dinah met James in the hall outside his bedroom. Lily smiled reminiscently when she saw that he chose to wear his old school robes, as she had. A forgotten fact struck her then and she eyed Dinah's clothing with apprehension; she couldn't wear Muggle clothes in Diagon Alley. Certainly not presently, either, with all of the prejudice looming in the air. No, her attire wouldn't do. But what else would she wear? Lily only owned robes in her size and she doubted James--who was noticeably taller than Lily--would be of help in that department either.
Thankfully, Mrs. Potter flew to the rescue. Just as Lily noticed Dinah's out-of-place day wear and thought of mentioning it to James, the familiar tap of Mrs. Potter's shoes came from the bottom of the staircase, moving steadily nearer. Lily saw a blue item of clothing in her arms when she stepped into view. She looked down at Dinah from over the cloth.
"Just as I suspected," she said, and held out what was now clearly a robe toward the child. "Here you go, Dinah. Slip it on over your clothes, dear."
Dinah did as she was told. The robe fit her nicely and complimented her azure eyes. It was on the plain side, but most children's wizard wear was. It served its purpose--giving her a magical appearance. She'd blend in.
"Do I look like a witch, Lily?" said Dinah, grinning, and she spun to give Lily a full view.
Awkwardness and guilt hindered Lily's smile. Mrs. Potter was feeling it too; she shoved her hands in her pockets and became fidgety on her feet. James stared pointedly at the wall.
Lily's smile was pasted on. "You sure do," she told the joyous child, who grinned even wider at Lily's praise. Lily promised herself she'd tell Dinah soon.
"Well, dear, here's your Floo powder." Mrs. Potter shoved a half-full pouch into James's hand, looking like she'd rather be anywhere else. "Have a good day."
Within seconds, she disappeared down the staircase. James and Lily exchanged meaningful looks, but said nothing in Dinah's presence.
"What's in the bag?" Dinah poked it, testing its contents.
James untied the cord and allowed her to peer inside. "Is it dirt?" she asked, gazing up at him.
James smiled. "It's Floo powder. We use it to travel through the fireplace."
Dinah looked fearful, but still interested in the concept. "The fireplace? We're going through the fireplace? Won't we get burned?"
"The powder makes the flames safe," Lily explained. "You'll get no more burned than you would in a field of daisies."
Dinah wasn't much reassured.
Two minutes later, the three of them stood in the deserted living room (apparently, the Potters didn't want to risk the topic of the file again) in front of a red brick fireplace. It wasn't like Muggle fireplaces at all. Lily could have stood fully within it and her head would not have brushed its ceiling.
"I'll go first," volunteered James, placing his foot on the step leading up to the fireplace. "so Dinah can see what it's like."
Lily nodded; she intended on traveling with Dinah. The thought of being separated from the child in crowded wizard streets terrified her.
James dug his fist into the pouch and tossed the glittering powder among the flames. Dinah gasped as they turned green and doubled in height; she winced when James entered them.
"See?" His voice echoed off the interior. "I'm perfectly fine. There's nothing to be afraid of."
"Put your hand in, Dinah, and see for yourself," urged Lily. It felt odd to give a child such instructions. She'd always been taught to stay away from fire when she was younger. Dinah inched toward the crackling flames, arm extended, with James and Lily's eyes on her. She made a swiping motion at the fire, as a cat would to a length of yarn, and her expression told that she was amazed to still have an arm.
"It feels like hot breath," said Dinah, eyes darting back and forth between them.
"So you're good now?" asked James. The flames cast sinister shadows on his face. "Not scared?"
Looking slightly unsure, Dinah nodded.
"Good," replied James briskly. "The Leaky Cauldron!"
He spun up the chimney and out of sight.
"You're coming with me, Lily?" asked Dinah fearfully. "I don't want to go alone."
"You won't. I'm coming with you." The child appeared slightly less tense.
Lily pulled her close and rubbed her back. "Calm down. Nothing bad is going to happen to you, all right? I'll hold your hand the whole way."
"Promise?"
"Yes." Lily took her hand and they paused at the edge of the fireplace. Lily's forehead was dotted with perspiration from the intense heat.
"When we step in, I'll nudge you and that's the sign to yell out 'the Leaky Cauldron!' Do you understand, Dinah?"
"The Leaky Cauldron," repeated Dinah. "Yes."
"And put your hand in front of your mouth to keep away the ashes, but not so close that you muffle your destination."
"The Leaky Cauldron," repeated Dinah again, for clarification.
"Right."
Gingerly, because Dinah was antsy about the new method of transportation, the pair stepped into the fireplace. It felt like a desert. The flames turned the atmosphere unbearably warm and dust from the Floo powder swirled about them, depositing itself in their pockets, on their clothes, and in their hair. Dinah uttered a choked cough as Lily nudged her.
"The Leaky Cauldron!" they yelled over the snap of the fire.
Dinah screamed when the drain-like feeling took her over. She was scared she'd be sucked away from Lily and would land in a place where the fires weren't so safe. She dug her fingers into Lily's arm, a death grip. Lily hardly had time to cry out in pain before they were thrown from the fireplace into the dirty, cold lobby of the Leaky Cauldron. Lily managed to secure her balance before toppling into a large wooden table, but Dinah tripped on a protruding rock tile and stumbled to her knees, losing her vise-like grip on Lily's arm. The latter rubbed the red mark she left.
James, who was just as sooty and bedraggled as the girls, knelt to assist Dinah to her feet. They brushed at her robe, but it didn't do much good; the dust and soot were deeply seeded.
"Here." Lily took out her wand and muttered a few grooming spells. "Let me...."
An assortment of magical folk (witches, wizards, warlocks, and hags) lounged around the Leaky Cauldron's main first-story room. Nearly all of them were either drinking or smoking and several were enjoying both. Two groups had games going--exploding snap, a dangerous card game--and a few people were saying things like, "Oooh! That was a close call!" and "One more card and this pile's history!" Due to the lack of surveillance on the bartender's part, there was even a bit of illegal business underway. How did Lily know? Why, Mundungus Fletcher was sitting in the middle of a small group looking shifty-eyed. He was many years older than her, but she'd heard of him from older students back at Hogwarts who dabbled in illegal trade. Mundungus was something of a hero to them.
Lily, who choked and coughed at the slightest trace of smoke, hurried Dinah through the crowd to a door in back through which they went alone; James had lingered to greet the old bartender, Tom, whom he apparently knew.
They waited for James in a small, walled brick courtyard. Dinah bent to inspect a scuttling bug while Lily forced coughs to rid her insides of the disgusting smoke. James brought with him the rancid stench of old cigars when he rejoined them and Lily frowned.
"Ugh. You smell disgusting, James! Why'd you hang around the bar?"
"Tom called me over. Wanted to talk with me about my dad's last Quidditch match," explained James. "He was disappointed they lost."
"You still stink," chided Lily, and James frowned at her bluntness. "Take care of it, please."
He growled something that sounded like, "Yes, mother," but heeded Lily's command all the same. He didn't want strangers giving him a repeat performance. Lily rolled her eyes and nudged Dinah along to the far wall across from the door. She searched for the brick she needed, but couldn't remember if it was three across, four over, or four across, three over; it had been a while since her last trip to Diagon Alley.
"What are you doing?" asked Dinah. "Why are we in here?"
Lily had no time to answer. James, who was growing impatient--he knew the right brick--moved Lily aside and brought his wand to another brick entirely from Lily's guesses. The wall began to peel apart, brick by brick, and Lily crossed her arms, annoyed with James. He turned to her as the last few bricks were disappearing (Dinah watched, wide-eyed and speechless), grinned, and slipped his arm inside her robes and around her waist, over the small of her back. He kissed her cheek and released her almost instantly because of Dinah's insistent tugging on his arm. They started slowly up the lively street, leaving Lily both surprised and pleased with James.
'Well, it's hard to stay annoyed with him when he does that,' she thought, half-smiling.
Lily took in her surroundings; she wanted to reacquaint herself with Diagon Alley. More people than she'd bothered to count milled about the main street, exiting and entering shops right and left. Many of them looked like parents of absent-minded children, rushing about to purchase forgotten items on a Hogwarts supply list. Lily found herself both startled and saddened when she realized that it was September first. The Hogwarts Express was probably hurtling toward Hogwarts at that very moment. She wished she were aboard it with her friends--and James--and that she hadn't graduated last year. But Hogwarts still held an aura of foreboding, despite the fact that Lily possessed many cherished memories regarding her school. At times, when she pictured Hogwarts, she felt nauseous. She'd probably never fully overcome December eighth. Lily yearned to be with some of her old friends again, most of whom she probably would never see now they'd graduated. They had known what they wanted to do and had gone off to complete their education. Lily had thought of career choices back in fifth year like the rest of her friends and had done a wonderful job of working through her classes during sixth year. Receiving the honor of Head Girl during the summer before her seventh year put the icing atop her scholarly cake, and she had been excited at the prospect of graduation; she'd wanted to go to Auror Training during the summer with her friends, maybe rent a flat, or even stay at home, if Petunia moved out....
Halfway through seventh year, though, she lost her drive. She didn't care anymore if she made it to Auror training, or passed her classes, or died, even. She was that depressed. But after a few nearly robotic, dead months, she got a grip on herself. She felt immeasurably stupid for her behavior and her outright negligence to her studies, hygiene, and well-being. The first thing she remembered doing after her epiphany was taking a shower. A good, long, hot shower during which she thought of many things, first and foremost, Lucius Malfoy. He was no longer in Hogwarts--what did she have to fear? She had no reason to rush through the halls, glancing frequently over her shoulders as though being chased. And she thought of her school work. She finished, on average, half of her class work and one or two homework assignments a week. She decided that had to stop. From then on, she completed every single scrap of work the teachers dished out. That still hadn't done her much good. She graduated with marks only slightly above average--not near enough to earn her a position in Auror training. Her dream went down the drain, along with all of her other career choices; they seemed silly and pointless to her, especially now. She wanted nothing more than to put a few Death Eaters in their places. The only substitute for an Auror that had drifted along since was 'Mother' but even at that she was proving incompetent, or so she thought.
"Lily!" cried James from several yards ahead of her. She spotted his black head among a thick crowd.
Lily bumped into a man half her height when she'd backed up to have a better angle of spotting James.
"Watch where you're going!" he yelled, shaking a bag at her that was wider than he. "You'll kill a person that way!"
"Sorry," she mumbled, not feeling it at all after his rudeness. They both departed, he off to do who knew what and she to find James and Dinah. She found them standing beside the window of Eeylops Owl Emporium; Dinah watched the birds with great interest. Lily guessed she'd never seen a real owl before.
She touched the child's shoulder and grinned. "Don't even think about it. You've already got Max, and I'm sure he'd treat an owl in much the same way as a gnome."
Dinah, disappointed, stared longingly at the owls.
"Oh, Lily, why can't she have an owl?" said James. He made for the entrance, but Lily yanked on his robe's collar, bringing his ear to her mouth.
"Buying her love is no good either, James," she hissed, then released him. "She's got a pet."
James shrugged half-heartedly, inwardly agreeing with her. Dinah was both surprised and put-out; Lily rarely refused her anything.
"Ice cream, then?" he said to Lily out of the corner of his mouth. Dinah heard him anyway and hoped Lily would accept the offer. Though James's insistence on buying Dinah's affections annoyed Lily, she did want ice cream.
"Yes, all right," she agreed.
Dinah grinned and allowed James to lead her across the walk to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor with Lily, where he ordered them three large banana and strawberry sundaes with chopped almonds. Since it was too crowded to sit at the parlor and eat, they carried their treats with them and slurped while they walked. James and Lily gave Dinah a sort of tour of Diagon Alley, naming nearly every shop as they went by it.
"...and that's Madam Malkin's place over there," said James, pointing at a shop with robed mannequins in the display window. "You'll be going there to be fit for your own robes."
"Should we do that now, James?" asked Lily. "Not for Hogwarts robes, of course, but in case we go out somewhere, you know." Dinah's need of her own robes had already been proven to them.
They'd stopped a few feet from the front door. James paused to consider what Lily said and gave a nod after a moment.
"Yeah, we should." He held his hand out for Dinah's and they entered the shop.
Twenty minutes, a fidgety fitting ("It tickles!" Dinah had said, giggling while an annoyed Madam Malkin tried desperately to get the child's measurements.), and several changes in design later, James and Lily were standing with Dinah at the counter of Madam Malkin's to pay for her four sets of robes. Well, James was paying, anyway, and this made Lily feel badly. James may have been financially responsible for Dinah as well, but it seemed he made all of the purchases. All right, there was no way Lily could have paid for the robes, but that only stabbed even more at her pride.
James noticed that something was bothering her as the cashier was boxing and bagging Dinah's robes. It didn't take him long to guess the nature of her problem.
"Here," he whispered, and dumped a handful of coins into her pocket. "You keep that." He smiled at her and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
Lily was nearly in tears--happy tears, mind you. Hardly anyone ever treated her so nicely or did such thoughtful and caring things for her. Only a handful of names came to mind--mostly family.
Was James family now?
The bell above the door jingled and they were out in the street. They had more than a dozen stores from which to choose, ranging from the Apothecary to Quality Quidditch Supplies. Lily had to force James with threats of hexes from the display window where he was nearly drooling over a model of a Nimbus 1000.
"But, Lily!" he spluttered, trying to wrench himself from her grip. "You don't understand! That's a broomstick! The world's fastest broomstick!"
"I'm sure you'll get over it, James," she said, grunting as she tugged at his robes; he was pulling eagerly toward the window. Dinah stood a few feet away, giggling at their behavior.
"Tarantallegra!" Lily cried, releasing him and aiming her wand at his feet. James began a frenzied tap dance, drawing the eyes of chortling passers-by. This sent Dinah over the edge and she giggled uncontrollably behind her hands.
"Lily!" James shouted, barely managing to remain standing. "Take it off, NOW!"
She addressed him as she would a misbehaving child. "Are you going to stay away from Quality Quidditch Supplies?"
"No!"
She sent a Stinging Hex at him; he yelped.
"Yes, yes--whatever, Lily," he snapped, nursing his wound. "Just take it off!"
"Finite."
James's dance ceased and he leaned over to catch his breath, shooting Lily glares every few seconds.
"Do it again, Lily!" said Dinah, still giggling. James glared at her, too.
"No..." Lily grinned at James, who straightened up and was smoothing the ripples in his robes. "Once was enough for today."
"Which means"--James turned to Dinah--"Lily wants to be kissed later, and she knows she's pushed it." He grinned at Lily, who rolled her eyes; Dinah stuck her tongue out in disgust.
"Can we go in there?" Dinah pointed at Gambol and Jape's, hoping to change the subject. James and Lily consented. On their way to the front door, James leaned over to Lily and whispered--this time in tones he made sure only she could hear--
"But you know I won't say no to a good snog, no matter how much you've tortured me, right Lily?" His hand made brief contact with a place to which his mother would have objected, and a blush colored Lily's cheeks.
"Not-in-public!" she hissed, scanning the area for eyes that may have wandered their way.
"Why not, love?" A clown erupted from a box above the door and cackled as they entered the joke shop. "The risk is what makes it more exciting."
"Yeah, well, contain your...excitement," said Lily, and snickered. "At least for now," she added in a whisper.
"Stop telling secrets!" ordered Dinah, stepping between them with her hands on her hips.
"We weren't telling secrets, Dinah," said James; Lily prayed he wouldn't advertise their topic of discussion, especially to their daughter. "We were only talking about this!"
At some point while responding to Dinah, James had removed a biting teakettle from the shelf behind him. He whipped it out from behind his back and Dinah screamed as it took a snap at her nose.
"James!" admonished Lily in exasperation, snatching the joke kettle from him. She replaced it on the shelf; it growled at her. "Stop acting like a child!"
James grinned at her, but it vanished when he noticed Dinah's chilled expression.
"What was that?" she asked.
"A biting teakettle," declared James cheerfully. "Would you like one?"
Dinah's eyes widened; she took several steps backward into a rack of strangling sweaters. Needless to say, the front sweater wrapped its sleeves around her neck. Lily shrieked along with Dinah and severed the sleeves before comforting her traumatized daughter.
"Oi!" yelled the man behind the counter. "You've got to pay for that, you know."
Lily muttered 'Reparo' and the sleeves restitched themselves like new. Dinah hid behind Lily. The man pursed his lip, but said nothing more, though his eyes followed them around the shop.
James pulled Dinah to his side and leaned to kiss her cheek. "Sorry about the sweater"--she glared at him--"and the teakettle. Do you forgive me?"
Dinah, who had been feigning interest in a bowl of exploding ink pellets, lobbed one at him. It popped open with a 'snap!' and stained the front of his robes. He gaped at her, open-mouthed, and stared at the huge stain in disbelief.
"Now I forgive you," said Dinah, grinning cheekily at him.
James couldn't speak for astonishment.
While Lily smiled indulgently at Dinah, she couldn't help but think that she might not be such a failure of a mother after all.
O O O