Author's Note: I composed this chapter in the shortest amount of time I've ever composed a chapter. Two hours! Two freaking hours. I am thoroughly amazed with myself.
Dedications: To an Old English genius!
Shakespeare: You certainly had wit enough.
Chapter 6: Playground Brawls: Part II
Lily's first instinct was to say (snidely) "Back to Evans, are we?" because there was no mistaking the voice of James Potter. But she would have seemed childish with that greeting. "What are you doing here?" came to mind shortly after, but that didn't feel appropriate either. It gave the impression she thought she had some sort of ownership on the country, and old schoolmates weren't allowed inside. The winner was "Fancy seeing you here, Potter," as it was (so Lily thought) wittily casual.
Dinah tugged on her sleeve. "Who are they, Lily?" she said worriedly, prompting the other figure to emerge from the shadows.
Sirius Black.
"We're Lily's old school friends!" said Sirius, grinning, and he slung an arm around the neck of his less than amused friend.
Lily felt a wave of shock and anxiety travel through her when she realized why James was angry. He'd heard her call Dinah her daughter.
"What are your names?" asked Dinah meekly, stepping from behind Lily. The kitten rolled happily in the gravel, swatting playfully at passing fireflies.
"I'm Sirius Black," said Sirius, by way of introduction, "and my sad friend here is James Potter." James scowled at him.
The child's eyes expanded and her hand moved to cover her smiling mouth. "I know about you!"
Sirius and Lily exchanged smiles. "You do?" he asked. "Your mum told you stories?"
Dinah, like Lily, didn't bother to correct him. "Yes. She told me that--" Lily's hand covered the child's mouth and she glanced up at James, who looked even more furious. He must have assumed that Lily and Sirius…she didn't even want to think about it. Sirius played the role of Lily's caring older brother and she couldn't imagine it being any other way.
"So," said Sirius with genuine interest, "what brings you and Lily Jr. to Sierre?"
Lily giggled, though she caught a nasty glare from James out of the corner of her eye; she was thoroughly enjoying her and Sirius's game. He had to have realized that there was no way Dinah could be her biological daughter.
"We're on vacation. It's a long story."
"Well, we have quite a long time, don't we?" smiled Sirius, his arm around her shoulders leading her toward the rocks. She sat and Dinah climbed into her lap where she played with a piece of Lily's hair. Sirius took a seat on the rock beside theirs, but James, arms folded in both an angry and pouty manner, remained standing.
"Story time," requested Sirius, pulling his legs into an embrace.
Lily smiled and adjusted herself more comfortably before embarking on their tale. "There were…misfortunes this summer," began she, purposely being as vague as possible to continue the game, "and we had to move to new residences, but…they didn't work out. Yesterday I came to have all this extra money--birthday presents--and since the money was meant for a vacation…we took it. After a summer like ours, we definitely needed a change of scenery."
"I thought you said this was a long story?" remarked James curtly.
"It would've been much longer," promised she, "if I…had the strength to tell it." Her mood changed so suddenly from lively to melancholy that he couldn't find the anger to comment further.
"What about you?" She addressed Sirius. "Why are you in Sierre?"
"James and I always planned to tour Europe after Hogwarts," he explained. "Sierre was a stop on our list of many."
"How long have you been here?"
"Only a few hours. We stopped to eat when we arrived, pulled a few pranks on unsuspecting Muggles after"--Lily rolled her eyes--"and worked our way round the town. James, the little boy, couldn't resist the playground when he saw it. So we played…advanced tag."
Lily arched an eyebrow at him. "Advanced tag, huh?"
"Yep," replied Sirius, changing his hand quickly to a black paw and back; he mock growled at them. Lily half-smiled; she remembered their Animagus forms well from her old friendships with the boys.
"How did you do that?" spluttered Dinah. "And what's a Muggle?"
"Questions, questions!" he said. "I can turn fully into a dog and a Muggle is a person who can't do magic."
"Oh," said Dinah. "Like me." James's attention focused on the child and he glanced up to Lily, who said nothing.
"Will you turn into a dog?" asked Dinah eagerly.
Sirius grinned at her. "I might scare the runt." He jabbed his thumb toward the kitten.
"We can play in the forest!" chirped Dinah, and Lily shot her a warning look. "The play forest," she amended. "Can we?"
"Yes, Mummy, can we?" joked Sirius, clasping his hands together.
Lily made a face at him. "Yeah, yeah," she said. As Sirius transformed, the kitten ducked underneath a rock for cover, and Dinah ran off giggling, she called, "Don't kill my kid, Black!"
Lily and James were alone awkwardly by the colored falls.
"That was one well-kept secret," he spat, kicking up gravel in anger.
Lily frowned, growing solemn; it wasn't a game anymore.
"Who was it?" he growled, swiveling to face her. "Who is her father?"
"I don't know," replied Lily honestly.
"You don't know?" he barked, voice rising. "Are you that much of a slut you don't know who fathered your child?"
Those words ripped at Lily nerves and feelings. She rose from the rocks and slapped him hard across the face; a crack like a whip sounded.
"Don't you dare speak to me that way!" she yelled, shocking him out of his sulking. "Are you that much of an idiot that you couldn't realize right away that there is no way Dinah could be my daughter? Twelve, James! I would have given birth at twelve! Did I ever look pregnant to you in second year?
James bowed his head in humiliation and shame. It became obvious to Lily that he hadn't considered this. He'd only seen what he'd seen and heard what he'd heard and gone from there. But Lily could hardly blame him for his assumption; she would have thought the same thing had she been in his place, given the circumstances. Her anger at his remark, however, remained.
"I…but you called her your daughter…." mumbled James, staring at the gravel. "What was I to think?"
"She practically is my daughter," said Lily. "She's going to be. And it's more convenient just to tell strangers she is. Then you heard and got jealous…Sirius and I were just joking…."
"Sirius was in on this, then?" snapped James, reverting to jealousy and anger.
"I noticed that look too," added Lily, annoyed at his subtle accusations. "Sirius and I have never been involved romantically. And yes, he did play along in the joke because he didn't act like a prat when he heard and he thought about the situation. Honestly, James…twelve…."
James slumped down on a rock and stared at the ground, only nudging the gravel gently with his shoe. "I feel…" He looked at Lily, eyes pleading forgiveness. "I'm so sorry, Lily. I shouldn't have screamed at you or called you…" he couldn't bring himself to repeat the word, "names. And where…why is the child with you?"
"She has a name," said Lily with a frown. "Dinah."
"All right," said James, "why is Dinah with you?"
"I met her at the Surrey orphanage," elaborated Lily.
"What were you doing in an…" He thought about before when she mentioned misfortunes and cut himself off.
"I'm an orphan, James."
She looked away from him, not wanting the small amount of light to reveal the tears collecting in her eyes. James said nothing to her. His heart wrenched for her and he felt an overwhelming urge--no, a need to touch her. He brushed the curtain of hair that had fallen to shield her face from view behind her ear, and she looked at him, tears dripping from her eyes. His arm wrapped around her waist and urged her toward him. Following a moment's pause--her fear stirred--she leaned into his embrace, feeling his lips brush the top of her head. She hadn't been held in such a way since she was a very small child cuddling in her parents' bed at night. And she'd never been shown such affection by someone outside of her family, much less a man. James forgot his anger at her in that moment. His anger at her joke, at her slap, at her lying, at her negligence of him all vanished while he held and comforted her. But the moment lasted for a much shorter amount of time than either of them wished.
Sirius, in Animagus form, bounded out into the open followed closely by Dinah. James and Lily separated rapidly and moved several inches apart on their rock before their companions took notice; they were glad at the opportunity of laughter when Sirius placed his paws on Dinah's shoulders and licked her face.
"Eww!" she cried, wiping her hands roughly on her cheeks to remove the saliva. Sirius transformed in mid-fall to the ground and collapsed to his back cackling. Dinah tossed a handful of gravel at him and stomped off toward Lily and James.
"Did you see that?" she demanded, thrusting her finger in Sirius's direction. The two smiled at her and each other. Sirius tiptoed up behind her and poked her sides. She giggled, forgetting her fury, and allowed herself to be lifted into Sirius's lap.
"James's friends are nice," said Dinah to Lily. "Well…Sirius is. I don't know about Remus."
"Where is Remus, by the way?" questioned Lily, directed at the boys. "And Peter?"
"Remus couldn't come with us," said Sirius, "because he…took ill earlier in the summer."
"And Peter's mum has an illness as well," James chimed in. "He's taking care of her until she recovers. She's not doing so well."
Lily felt like their tales had been slightly altered, but she nodded, pretending to accept the explanations.
"What next?" asked Dinah. "Are we going to go anywhere else?"
Lily looked to Sirius and James for the answer. "You two up for more?" she teased. "Can you keep up with Dinah?"
James and Sirius swapped mischievous grins. "The question is, Miss Evans," replied James, "can you keep up with us?"
In a flash the two transformed, tearing off into the distance as a stag and dog.
"How are we going to catch them?" inquired Dinah. "They're too fast."
"They'll come back," Lily said, smiling, "when they realize no one's chasing them."
Sure enough, the stag and dog poked their heads around the side of the playground and, disappointed in the lack of chasing, sauntered over to the girls and transformed into boys again.
"Lazy girls," muttered James.
"Like we could have caught up to you!" cried Lily.
"All right, all right," intervened Sirius, "break it up, you two." He faced James. "Can I speak to you alone for a second?"
Lily stuck her nose in the air, pretending to be offended, but gave up her act a moment later and waved the boys off. She and Dinah scooted off to their own section of the playground to chat.
"What are they talking about?" asked Dinah, peering around Lily's sides to try and glimpse them. "Us?"
"Probably," laughed Lily. She peeked over her shoulder, smiling still.
Observing this, Dinah asked, "Do you still like James?"
Her smile drooped. "I don't know."
"He's grumpy," said Dinah, folding her arms in disapproval. "He doesn't seem so nice when you meet him; he was better in your story."
"He was grumpy because he thought you were my daughter."
"But aren't I now?" she said. "And why would that make him mad?" She gave James a nasty look he didn't see, blatantly displaying her annoyance with him.
Lily set a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Almost. Papers just need to be signed. And it made him angry because he thought you were my blood child and he wasn't the father."
"Why does it matter?"
"Because it would mean that another man made love to me," blushed Lily
Dinah reddened too, making a sickened face at the same time. "He wants to do that with you?"
Lily started to shrug, but considered what Dinah said and grew somewhat offended. "What's that supposed to mean? That he shouldn't want to? Am I that unattractive?"
"You're pretty!" said Dinah with haste. "But that stuff is…icky."
Lily chuckled. "Give it ten years. 'Thou wilt fall backward when thou hast more wit.'"
Dinah's nose wrinkled in confusion. "What is that supposed to mean?"
Lily smiled secretively. "You'll find out someday."
"I want to know no--" She cut herself off upon the arrival of James and Sirius beside Lily.
"What've you been talking about?" questioned Lily.
"James wants to explore the city in pairs," said Sirius; "He with you, and Dinah with me."
James avoided Lily's gaze, clearly embarrassed by his request.
Lily pulled Dinah close. "No," she answered, and James chanced looking at her; their eyes met and he frowned. "She's never been away from me before. This is a large city. Something could happen." She excluded her fear of being alone--truly alone, not just for a few short moments--with James. Not that she necessarily thought he would try anything; the simple fact he was male frightened her.
"Lily," said Sirius in the manner of a car salesman closing in on a deal, "don't you trust me to look after her? I've got my wand. I'm prepared for anything. And," he added in a low whisper, "James is keen on chatting with you in private."
Lily's eyes moved from Sirius to Dinah to James and back to Sirius again; she bit her lower lip anxiously. "You…you promise you'll watch her every moment? I…I don't know what I'll do if--"
"You can count on me," he vowed, interrupting her.
Lily crouched down next to Dinah and engulfed her in an embrace. "Be careful," she whispered. "Don't walk away from Sirius. I mean it."
"I won't, Lily," she promised. "You don't have to worry."
Watching Sirius walk away hand in hand with Dinah (who held the gray kitten) was one of the hardest things Lily had done at that point in her life. Her mind screamed out to chase after them and snatch Dinah's hand back, to wrap her tightly within the confines of her jacket, protected from the dangers of the unfamiliar city. But her body wouldn't hear of it. It knew that though her mind wanted Dinah back with her, safely in sight, it also wanted to be near James and listen to what he wanted to discuss with her. He waited until Sirius and Dinah turned the corner to speak.
"Stop looking so scared," he said, noting her expression as her eyes rested in the spot they'd been just seconds before. "She's perfectly safe with Sirius."
Lily wrung her hands anxiously, eyes darting from James to the ground to the play area. "I know...but it's...hard not to worry. She'll come back to me all right, I know, but she hasn't left my sight since I've been with her...."
James smiled at her. "You'll have to master this skill, letting her off on her own, if you're to be her mother."
Lily collapsed onto a nearby bench. "Yes, I know."
"No matter how much you want to stay near her," he added. "Trust me, I know the feeling."
"You have a younger sibling?"
"No," he said darkly. "But I do have you."
"Me?" echoed Lily, startled. "How do I fit into this at all?"
"Well, imagine I'm in your place and you're in Dinah's. I care for you, my daughter-to-be, very much and you seem to care for me--"
"Dinah doesn't seem to care for me!" cried Lily, hurt. "She does care!"
"Just listen. This isn't about her at all. All right, so I'm you, you're Dinah, we seem to have some mutual affection going on and then--BOOM! My little Dinah's not speaking to me anymore. She broke promises to me, scurries away from me every chance I get to talk with her and simply appears to want nothing to do with me, even though I've been very kind to her and thought I'd been a good friend as well."
He definitely wasn't talking about Lily and Dinah's possible future, she realized. He was talking about Lily and James's past, and with much mingled sadness, hurt feelings, anger, and annoyance.
"I--I didn't break any promises!" said Lily indignantly.
"You did," James made clear. "Does this sound familiar? I'll give you my answer at breakfast tomorrow!" He imitated her in falsetto. "Breakfast tomorrow my ass," he muttered contemptuously. "You weren't even at breakfast!"
"For good reason!" snapped Lily.
"Oh?" James's eyebrows shot up, feigning surprise. "Would you mind sharing with the class?"
"Yes," growled Lily. "I would mind."
"Why don't you just come out and say it?" yelled James. "You weren't a damn bit interested in me!"
"That's not it at all!" she shouted back.
"Then where were you? Why didn't you accept my offer if you cared for me?"
"I wasn't in the best of conditions for a date," she said, lowering her voice.
"What do you mean? Were you sick? If you were sick, we could have just gone another time. Why--"
"I wasn't sick, James," she whispered, bowing her head.
Again, he let go of his anger and placed a hand on her back. "What was it, then? Come on--you can tell me."
"Not here," she implored. "Not in public."
"Is it really that serious?" He appeared somewhat worried.
Lily nodded.
"We can go to your hotel, then," said James, rising from the bench. He offered his hand. Skittishly, she slid hers into his and he pulled her to her feet.
"But how will Dinah and Sirius know where to meet us? They won't know we've gone back to our hotel."
James dug into the left pocket of his baggy pants and fished out a small, rectangular mirror.
"Sirius," said he, and the boy's face appeared on the surface.
"Yeah?" he answered. They heard Dinah's excited chatter in the background.
"When you finish showing Dinah the sights, bring her round to their hotel."
Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at his friend, who flicked the image of his face.
"That's not the reason." Lily turned crimson and tottered on her feet. "We're just going to discuss things that are better said in private." He turned to Lily. "What's the address of your hotel?"
"I don't know the exact address, but it's on the end of Roselint Street."
"Hear that?" asked James of Sirius. "End of Roselint. Bring her in around an hour."
"Should I stop by a pharmacy as well?" smirked his friend. "'O, here's a wit of cheveril, that stretches from an inch narrow to an ell broad!'"
James's eyes rolled skyward and he cleared the mirror, tucking it back in his pocket.
"Dirty mind, he has," he mumbled, lacing his fingers with hers.
"But you know," considered Lily as they started walking, "it does seem like we're planning...that, though, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," he admitted, uneasy with their subject of conversation. "But we're not going to--?"
"Oh, no," promised Lily hastily, thinking of the story she was about to tell for the second time that day, though much more in-depth. She repeated, drawling the first vowel,
"Oh, no."
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