Luna's Loony Articles
Interview with the Sun God
Luna Lovegood
Black = Luna Lovegood
Red = Draco Malfoy
This is question number one,Draco. Do you really hold up the sun every day? Surely your arms would go to sleep. I think you need more sleep. And no, my job isn't to hold up the sun, that's my friend's job. What is your favorite color of dog? Umm… calico? This is the most important question in this interview. All others are simply fluff. If you had to chose one or the other… poster of a fluffy cat or a picture of your girlfriend? Well, don't print this, but I would choose the cat, as an excuse for my girlfriend to go to the movies with me. She refused to go to the grand opening of `Planet Earth, A Documentary". I was quite upset. It's just not the same, eating all that popcorn by yourself as the screen shows the transformation of a worm into a moth.
Which do you like better? Hitler or Caesar? Ahhh… I think I'll take the house salad. Three cavities being removed with no numb medicine or a hornet stinging your eyeball in the middle of an abandoned forest. I have a confession. I am totally afraid of toothpicks. One stabbed me when I was 13, and I've never been the same. I used to sing like bass. Now I sing Soprano. No, it's Soprano one, which is the highest note singer people. What is the most important thing you have ever done? Once, I was in a Native American reservation, and I saw a dude with feathers sticking out of his head, and I said, "Look a real Injun!" It's really important to me, because that day I almost got scalped. I was bald for the next year. If you could dye your hair any color, what would it be? Hot pink, because it's like, totally masculine. What are the five things you would do if you ruled the world? Is this Miss America? Cause if it is, then hi Mum! You always said I'd get here, thanks for believing in me. Dad, I proved you wrong. I didn't become a sumo wrestler. Now, I would pick… world peace, food for the hungry, death for the murderers…
Boxers or whitey-tighties? Beer or champagne? Depends on the day and… as Miss America, beer is bad for your breath and champagne is a bad habit. Worse than plate spinning I believe. Football teams… Florida Gators or Tennessee Volunteers? We are the Tennessee; we are the Tennessee Volunteers. Go UT! Go UT! We are from Tennessee; we are from Tennessee! GO UT VOLS!!! Go UT VOLS!!! Do you like Kentucky state quarters or Louisiana? What on this good earth is a quarter? I pay in yin! I'm Chinese, you inconsiderate prat! In that sentence you used a hillbilly accent, British slang, and said you were Chinese. Are you okay? Yes I am okay. Have you never heard of Scotch-Irish? Well, I'm a Hillish-Chinese. Ha!
What is Gabriela and your favorite song? The swimming chicken dance. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na! Na, na, na, na, na, na, na! Na, na, na, na, na, na, na! Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! What is the meaning of life? To promote devastation, destruction, and disruption wherever I go in this fiery vortex of darkness and despair. Thanks you so much for this informative information full of things that the public need to know. At the Quibbler, we promote articles that give the facts, the whole facts, and nothing but the facts. You have contributed to a worthy cause. I know. I'm such a generous, wonderful, gorgeous, whimsical person. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The roses are appreciated ladies, but honestly, I'm way to good for you. Bye now!
A/N: Okay, I know that this is super out of character for Draco Malfoy, but I sort of wanted to interview an idiot. Also, I know that this story has no strict plot (or plot at all), but this is just for people who need a laugh or two. Writing these things puts me in such a good mood. There really isn't any romance, or horrid deaths, just laughs and stupidity. Next article is Adopt an Alpaca and Save Money on Your Car Insurance. I've been told that it's my funniest one yet.
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