Chapter 10
Harry's body started to convulse, and he had the sudden strong feeling that he was going to throw up. A voice, filled with concern, called his name. He ignored this, all of it, and he ran out of the room. He darted down the hallway, going in the opposite direction than where the puppies were pointing. He crashed into his room and was relived to find it empty. He closed the door and fell onto his bed.
Harry could not stop his body from heaving, as if he was trying to expel part of him. He tried to calm down, but images were running through his head, a mix from his real life and his delusional life. Killing the man on the road, killing Bellatrix, kissing Ginny, kissing Hermione, dinner with the Dursleys, dinner with his family, fighting with Draco as a brother, fighting with Draco as an enemy. Ron covered in blood, there was no other image of him. Harry could smell the pungent odor of blood, and his hands still felt sticky and heavy from the blood. Harry wanted to throw up, but his stomach was empty so all he did was dry heave. Finally he collapsed in sobs, curled in a ball.
Harry stayed like this until he heard the door open. "Go away Peter!" Harry croaked.
The footsteps grew closer and he felt his bed shift as someone sat down. "Oh, honey," a soft female voice spoke.
Harry turned his head to look at the woman, wondering if he was stuck in another delusion. "Mom?"
Lily smiled down at her son and stroked his face, wiping tears from his face.
"I thought you were..." Harry couldn't even say the word.
"I know, I couldn't visit you because it would have shocked you out of your other world and the doctor said that we must avoid it to see if you came out of it yourself. They called me immediately once you realized."
"Does that mean Ron is dead?" Harry couldn't keep the hope out of his voice.
"I'm sorry dear,. " Lily let her own tears fall. "Ron was dead when the ambulances arrived and dad died on the ambulance ride. He had a severed an artery." Lily was sobbing as she spoke these words.
Harry was so confused. He didn't know what to feel anymore. He went from having parents, to believing they had died many years ago, to thinking they had died a few weeks ago, to seeing his mother alive and hoping that his father and friend were still alive. His mother sensed this and held him in her arms, even though he had to be taller than her, however she did not hesitate in pulling Harry's upper body into her lap and cradling him, letting both of them cry for the life that had been lost. Harry let himself relax in her arms and held onto her as he cried. He cried until he was so tired that he fell asleep in her arms.
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The beans rustled as Harry sat down on the bean bag chair. He yawned because he was still drowsy from waking up. His mother had awaken him to tell him that Steve needed to see him. They were going to let him go home this evening but he had to have a session with Steve to make sure that Harry was okay to go home.
"So how are you doing Harry?" Steve asked, his voice filled with concern.
Harry glared at Steve. "How do you think I'm doing? The world I thought was real for the last two months is a lie."
"I honestly couldn't guess what you are going through. Do you know how rare what happened to you is? It's rare enough when people shock themselves into forgetting certain information. Sometimes people will make themselves believe that somebody is still alive or that something didn't happen, like an accident that did happen. But there has never been a reported medically substantive case where somebody created a whole other reality as a defense mechanism. I mean the story you came up with sounds like an elaborate fantasy novel."
Harry scowled. "Well, I'm glad my insanity is helping the medical community so much."
Steve seemed to realize how he had sounded and immediately regretted his treatment of Harry.
"What I care about is how you are doing. If you want to get out of here, you have to convince me it will be okay to send you home."
"I don't know how I am feeling. I'm just so confused. I mean I am so happy that my mom is alive, but then my dad and Ron are dead, and I feel like wallowing in that grief."
"Do you feel any conflict between still believing in the magical world and this real world?"
"I don't know, not really. It's like when you have a very vivid dream and you believe it is real until you wake up. There's a jolt where you realize that what you had thought was real but that fades as your real life comes in focus. It's only been a few hours, but it is already fading. I mean, I imagine I will always remember that world, but I don't feel conflict with the real world."
"I'm glad to hear that, but believe me you will be coming back many times to continue our sessions. When we are saying that we are making sure you are ready to go home, we are checking that you not a safety risk to yourself or your family."
"I won't do anything. I'm sad, I'm very sad, but I know down the road I will feel better and I have people worth living for."
"I'm very happy to hear that."
"Can I ask a question?"
"Of course."
"How did I come up with this other world?"
"Honestly it's kind of a mystery to me and the 20 or so researchers who are watching your case. The brain is still quite a mystery to us. What I can say is that some of what you made up was part of your subconscious, like you believing your parents might be dead. To make it easier for yourself, you killed them in your subconscious. Knowing Ron was dead, you tried to keep him alive. Your brother and you fight a lot, so you made him your nemesis. You viewed the reason this all happened was because you are romantically involved with Hermione, the trip to find something for Hermione, so you coupled her with Ron."
"My subconscious really did that?"
"I don't know if that was your exact thought process, I'm just guessing, but it could have been. I can't make all the connections between the two lives, some could be just random thoughts that were in your head while others could very well hold some deeper symbolic meaning only you will be able to figure it out for sure."
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Harry left Steve's with a strange sense of calm. He knew things weren't going to be easy, but he was looking forward to going home. He said goodbye to the receptionist with a wave and stepped out into the hallway. He was not expecting the sight that greeted him.
"Hey Harry."
"Draco!" Harry felt a wave of affection for his brother as he quickly embraced him. He had no idea how he could think that Draco was his enemy for months. They drew a part standing awkwardly staring at each other.
"What happened to your hair," Harry gestured to Draco's head that had cleanly cut hair, short with no signs of his trademark bleach.
Draco shuffled his feet, lowering his eyes. "I just go tire of the blond thing."
Harry saw though this excuse, knowing that Draco just wanted to connect with the memory of James, but Harry didn't say anything, not wanting to embarrass Draco. "Well, I think it looks nice."
Draco looked up and smiled, "I'm glad."
"How have things been?" Harry asked casually, trying to veil the significance in his question.
Draco hesitated a second, before deciding to tell the truth. "It hasn't been good. Mom puts on a brave front, but she's been hurting. The house has felt so empty the last couple months, its been very hard. Mom and I have just been tip-toeing around each other, trying not dredge up any painful memories for either of us."
"How about Hermione?"
"She has not been much better. She comes by to visit with mom as often as she can, but her family has been through a rough spot as you probably know, and it's just been hard for her."
Harry wanted collapse under the weight of the guilt over what he had put his family through, but he knew that at the moment that wouldn't help anything. Draco has had to be strong for mom for so long, it was Harry's turn to take on that responsibility. "Are you okay?"
"I feel like I will be better now that you are going to be coming home. I've missed you so much," Draco spoke, his voice breaking as a lone tear fell down his pale face.
Harry stepped forward and gave Draco another hug, so glad that he was reunited with his family. "I've missed you too, even if I didn't know it."
Draco laughed as he pulled back, quickly swiping at his eyes. "Well, we have you all packed up and ready to go."
"There's just one thing. I need to say goodbye to my roommate."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"Nah, I'll be fine. I will catch up with you outside." Harry patted Draco on the shoulder and went off to his room, hoping that Peter was there. Sure enough Peter was sitting on his bed expectantly, and Alex was sitting next to him.
There was an awkward silence as the three of them stared at each other, not knowing exactly what to say. Harry was the first to speak. "I guess you were right about me being delusional," Harry mumbled.
Alex shrugged. "I'm not sure I was right at all."
Harry looked up with a question in his eyes, "what do you mean?"
"Well, I guess I just have not had much experience with love before, and now after watching you with Hermione, I don't think there is anything more powerful."
Harry smiled and gave Alex a quick hug. "I'll miss you. I will visit I promise."
"I know you will," Alex replied as they pulled apart.
Harry turned to Peter and gave him a hug as well. "I hope you get better soon."
Peter shrugged. "I have something for you." From behind him he pulled a rolled up sheet of paper. He handed it to Harry.
Harry gingerly unrolled it and gasped at what he saw. It was a colored pencil sketch of himself and Hermione. It had been one of the afternoons that the four of them had hung out playing board games in the visitors lounge. Harry and Hermione had both sat in an overstuffed chair. Hermione leaned her head against Harry's shoulder, her eyes closed and a soft smile playing on her lips. Harry was staring down at Hermione, love and adoration written all over his face. It captured the two of them perfectly.
Harry choked up for a moment at the emotion in the picture. "This is beautiful. Thank you so much Peter."
Peter grinned. "I was glad to do it. I had never seen anything so inspiring before. Both of you will have to visit together to give me more inspiration."
Harry chuckled, "we will. I guess I should get going . My family is waiting for me. Thank you both for being there for me. I promise to visit." Harry gave them each another quick hug before heading to the entrance. Standing there was Draco and his mom, but he barely noticed them as he caught a glimpse of Hermione.
She turned to him, smiling nervously. She didn't know if his feelings were still intact of if they had changed over time. She didn't know how he was doing. She was so worried. But, one glance into his eyes she was able to see everything and she knew everything would be okay.
They both knew there were difficult times ahead, but as they reached each other and instantly fell into each others arms, they knew that they would get through it together.
"I love you Hermione," Harry whispered into her hair.
"I love you too," Hermione replied.
Harry leaned back to capture Hermione's lips in a kiss. It was soft, and quick, but as poignant and beautiful as their first kiss. Harry smiled as he pulled back and glanced over Hermione's head to see him mom and Draco smiling.
"Let's go home."
A/N-It's finished. I'm sorry that the story started to get a little loopy and loose as it went on. As time went on it was harder to keep everything straight. I'm sorry once again that I dropped the ball on this story. I had so much more planned for it, including having Lupin and Sirius show up as his uncle, I even toyed with them being together, but I didn't want to weigh the story down. I have gotten some bad reviews and I'm sorry that the stories quality has diminished, but I wanted to finish it to provide you readers with closure.
I am going to continue write, although I am thinking of doing a Twilight one-shot next. I have tons of ideas including a sequel to my other h/h story The Married Life. But, my goal is to not post any story until I finish it to avoid this whole months between updates. It's not fair to you guys and it puts undue stress on me.
Thank you again all of those that have stuck around I hope if nothing else you gained some closure from the ending. Please leave feedback about what you did and didn't like. Thank you again and I hope to be back soon with some new stories.
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