Dedications:
My bowl of almonds: They're yummy.
Chapter 2: Returning
(8:21 a.m. 238 Lorillard Avenue. Godric's Hollow.)
"Ow!" mumbled Lily, turning over to glare at her boyfriend, who was sitting on their floor. "You squished my foot!"
John looked sheepishly up at her from slipping on his sock. "Sorry. I tried not to wake you, but I sort of…erm…tripped."
Lily chuckled. "You were always the graceful one."
"Hey!" He blushed.
Lily stuck out her foot. "Look what you did!" she admonished, even though there were no marks. "Make it better!" she stuck her nose up in the air, crossing her arms and closing her eyes simultaneously. She immediately felt John's curly hair against her leg as he bent to nuzzle her foot. He gave it a quick kiss and looked up at her.
"Am I forgiven?" he asked, a grin tugging at his lips.
"Yeah." She sunk to the floor beside him and sat herself in his lap, nestling her head against his chin.
"I love you."
"I love you too," he answered, kissing her.
"So where were you going?" she asked pensively, tracing the design on his shirt with her finger.
"The kid showed up today. They called me in."
Lily looked up at him, and he could tell by the look on her face that she was not happy. "But it's Saturday!" she whined. "You have to stay!"
"It'll only take an hour," he assured her, stroking her hair softly, "I'll be back before you know it."
She sighed. "Alright. I'll just play with Harry until you get back."
He kissed the top of her head. "Good. Do you want me to get anything for breakfast while I'm out?" Their eyes met; she noticed his one raised eyebrow. Lily thought; did she feel like cooking? Not really.
"Sure. Just pick up my usual from McDonald's."
John gave her an incredulous look. "For breakfast?"
"Yes!" she chirped happily with a grin. "McFlurries are a wonderful merger of all the food groups! A perfect selection for your balanced breakfast."
He rolled his eyes, ensuing a grin from her. "I'm picking you up a sandwich, too."
"You spoil all the fun," she pouted playfully, giving him `puppy dog' eyes.
"Really?" An impish grin parted his lips. "I didn't hear too many complaints last night." He finished with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.
Lily had the good sense to blush and swat him lightly on the shoulder, but didn't comment any further.
"Anyway," he said, assuming a more serious tone of voice and glancing at his watch, "it's about time for me to go. I'll see you in an hour. Maybe an hour and a half if the traffic is bad." He stood up, pulling her to her feet beside him simultaneously.
"'Bye!" he said, giving her a quick kiss. Lily had barely any time to respond before he had picked up his briefcase and was in the doorway. He stopped at her call.
"Yes?" he asked, not sounding the least bit impatient, looking over his shoulder at her. She walked over to him, and wrapped him tightly in her embrace, her sweatshirt feeling very warm against him. She nuzzled him.
"You don't have to rush off, you know," she said groggily, eyes shut. "You don't need to drive in. Just Apparate or Floo!"
"I can't if I'm getting you food!"
"Then I'll cook."
"Why do you want me to stay so badly?" he asked, genuinely curious.
"You haven't said good morning to Harry!" she insisted. "He misses you so much during the day!"
John sighed. "I know. But do we really want to wake him now?"
Lily was about to respond, but a noise from the next room beat her to it. She took John's free hand in hers and led him into the baby's room. Harry smiled up at them from the crib. He was laying on his back and babbling senselessly in baby-talk at them. Lily smiled at her son and lifted him from his bed, cradling him in his arms. The boy immediately fussed, as this was not the way he liked to be held.
"No!" he whined, struggling to free himself from Lily's tight hold. She rolled her eyes at his familiar expression, but arranged him in his favorite position; facing forward, supported under his arms. Harry liked to be able to look around. He giggled at John and his bright eyes lit up.
"He's such a happy baby," said John, eyes shimmering, as he let the boy grab onto his finger with his tiny hand.
"He's happy to see daddy," Lily said, kissing Harry's cheek. "Aren't you?"
"Da!" Harry enthused, scrambling his arms toward John. Lily handed him over, watching the two laugh, talk (or try to, in Harry's case), and play. She felt a slight ache in her chest at the thought of James. He hadn't seen Harry since the night she left. When he was four days old…
"I'm going, James!" she yelled across the living room, hoping her voice would carry to the massive kitchen, where she knew James was. All of her things, besides Harry and his travel bag, had been moved to her new apartment, so there wasn't much to carry.
The western-style doors swung open and James emerged, trying to look calm; he wasn't hiding it well. All she needed to do was look at his eyes to see that he was a mess inside. Obviously, he had regretted what he said to Lily two nights before. But that did little to ease her pain.
"Bye," she said sheepishly, bending down to grab Harry's bag and the handle of his car seat carrier. James didn't look at her. He only looked down at the infant in his seat with misty eyes. She was glad that his bangs had fallen in front of his eyes; she didn't need to see him crying. This was already hard enough.
"B-bye," he whispered. A whisper seemed to be all that he could manage. It broke Lily's heart to hear him sound like that; so distant, far, lost, and confused. And cold. For the past two years, Lily had looked to James for a source of comfort, friendship, and love. Why, then, was she leaving him? Why were her baby's things all packed up with hers? Why had she signed divorce papers? Why had she bought an apartment in Hogsmeade?
`I'll tell you why,' began the nasty little voice inside of her head, `he didn't want your baby. He didn't want to be a father. He said so. You heard him.'
`I know,' she responded. Her breathing was becoming shaky and quick. She wanted to leave as soon as she could. She began to walk to the front door of their--his house, and found that with every step she took, a little piece of her was dying. But she didn't look back. She didn't say a word. Her chest ached like hell and she knew why; she didn't want to go. She loved James. Stopping for a moment, she glanced into the mirroring glass panel on the back of the door; he hadn't taken his eyes off of Harry the whole time.
"Lily?" John's concerned tone startled her out of her memory. Harry was silently looking at her. "Are you alright? You look like you're about to cry."
She shook her head, squeezing her eyes tightly shut to get rid of the lingering tears. "I'm fine. I was just thinking."
"What were you thinking about that made you cry?" he wondered aloud.
"Nothing," she replied softly, glancing over at the wall clock. "Oh!" she remembered suddenly, abandoning her melancholy disposition, "You'd better get going before that kid leaves again!"
John checked his watch in a hurried rush. "You're right!" he exclaimed, holding Harry out toward her. She took him. He kissed both of their cheeks quickly and rushed out of the house. When Lily heard the front door shut, she wandered into their room, Harry perched on her hip, and stared out of the curtained window into the driveway. His car was backing out and she listened to the vroom of his car as it sped down the street.
He was, like Lily, one of the few wizards that had bothered to get a driver's license. What was surprising was that he wasn't even Muggle-born, as she was. He had just always liked the thought of driving, and pursued it. She turned her gaze away from the window and knelt down on the floor, setting Harry beside her, so she could search under the bed. Harry wandered around the room, grabbing his mother's bedroom slippers. Lily giggled and then stuck her hand under the bed, trying to find an album.
After going nearly all the way under, she found it, hiding cleverly in the far corner. She grunted a bit as she shuffled back out and Harry eyed her disheveled appearance inquiringly. She gave him a look of her own.
"What?" she asked, sounding playfully annoyed, "is there something wrong with mommy being dusty?"
Although he didn't understand a word of what she said (apart from `mommy') he giggled at her.
She placed the dusty album in her lap and brushed it off. Harry placed his hands on it for support and looked up at his mother.
"Gah?" he asked her.
Hearing his baby gibberish always made Lily laugh. She exchanged the album for Harry, and he cuddled himself in her lap, gazing over to the dusty book she had slid onto the floor in front of them.
Lily flipped the cover over. The book had a very musty smell from laying in its resting place with the dust bunnies and the occasional dirty sock. Harry coughed and put his hand over his nose.
"Bleh!" he remarked, giving his mother an annoyed look. Lily couldn't help but smile. Oh, how he resembled James! She rumpled his mess of hair and kissed his forehead.
"Do you want to see your father and me? I have a lot of pictures."
"Uhh?" he asked. Lily interpreted this as "Father?" and proceeded to flip the first empty, dusty page over. Harry squealed in excitement when he saw that the next page was full of colorful, moving pictures.
"Ma!" he said excitedly, pointing down at the Lily in the picture. She nodded.
"Very good, Harry!" she praised. "Now who is that?" She pointed to the tall, black-haired man beside her. He had his arm around her and was smiling broadly at the camera. Lily's heart ached at the sight of him and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes.
"Huu?" he repeated phonetically, mimicking her. She giggled, sniffling a bit. Placing her finger on James's face, she said, "That's your father. See? He looks like you."
"You?" Harry repeated, confused.
"Yes, sweetie," tittered Lily, "you."
"You!" he enthused, smiling.
"And there he is again, Harry!" she said brightly, mesmerizing the small child with the moving pictures, "That was our graduation day." Picture James kissed picture Lily on the cheek and she felt a sharp pang in her chest.
"Da! Ma!" said Harry, pointing as James repeated the act. Lily smiled and wiped her eyes. He was probably referring to the kissing she and John did. Harry was such a smart baby.
Just like his father…
James.
Lily flipped the page, her eyes clouded with tears. Her breathing was becoming quick again. A tear slipped from her eye and landed with a splat on the page, startling Harry.
"Ma!" he said, in his little gasping voice. He touched her cheek with a tiny hand in the place where another tear was trailing behind. He wiped it off.
"'Ook!" he insisted, pointing to the page. He tapped it firmly until she smiled and kissed his cheek.
"Alright, Harry," she said, cuddling him, "let's look."
And for the next half and hour, she showed him all of the pictures in the album, including the ones of him on the day he was born. James's mother had gone camera crazy, so there were plenty of those. Lily had laughed when he'd remarked "Baby!" and she had to remind him that he was still a baby. Of course she'd cried a bit when she reached the picture of the three of them; Lily was laying in the hospital bed, hooked up to who knew what, Harry, wrapped in a fuzzy blue blanket, was cradled in her arms, and James was sitting beside her, gazing down at the infant and occasionally touching his cheek gently with his finger. He had his other arm around Lily.
This was when the torrent of tears had begun. She lifted Harry from her lap and set him on the floor beside her and drew her knees to her chest, sobbing and drawing in deep, raspy breaths. Tears fell from her cheeks to her legs and ran down to her ankles, creating a small, discolored mark on the carpet.
Harry was worriedly trying to calm his mother down. "Ma!" he repeated over and over again, scrabbling at her leg as he tried to get her attention. She finally lifted her head to look at him; her eyes were puffy and somewhat bloodshot, and the rivers of tears didn't seem to be capable of drying.
Her son gave her a "I'm the only one in this house allowed to cry!" look, and she picked him up and cradled him. He didn't seem to mind this time, since his mother seemed to be soothing.
"I miss him, Harry," she whispered into his ear. "And I bet he misses us."
"Us?" Harry asked of the unfamiliar word.
"Mommy and you," said Lily. "Would you like to have lived with James?"
Harry didn't answer her. He struggled to get out of her grasp, but not because he didn't like the way he was holding her this time. He crawled in front of the book and pointed at the man with the shaggy black hair.
"Ames!" he declared proudly.
Lily smiled at him. A true, genuine smile. "Yes, Harry," she said, almost eagerly, "James."
"Ma! Ames!"
"Yes."
"Da?" he asked unexpectedly. Lily felt a rush of coldness sweep through her. John. What about John? She sighed angrily after a moment.
`A look through the photo album does not change anything,' she resolutely explained to herself. `Just because you miss him, does not mean that he misses you!'
`But what if he does?' the voice taunted inquiringly.
`He didn't want him,' said Lily's conscious sadly, referring to the bubbly baby at her heels.
`People change,' said the voice silkily.
`What do you mean?' No response. `Hello?'
She sighed and turned her attention back to Harry. "Want breakfast?"
Harry nodded enthusiastically and pointed to his mouth. "'Ood!" He reached his arms toward her begging to be picked up. She gave him a `look' and said, "Oh? Now you want mommy?" before picking him up and heading down to the kitchen. In the hallway she passed the picture of the three of them (she, John, and Harry, that is) sitting in the studio of a professional photographer. Ignoring herself and Harry, she focused on John.
What would her life be like without him? She knew that his love had saved her from suicide several times before. When she had first started working at the Ministry, Harry had come along with her every day, due to her lack of funds to pay for a sitter. John, who worked two desks down from her, was instantly curious about the young girl and her baby, and tried to strike up a conversation with her during their lunch break.
He had then learned how sad and hurt she was, and that she wanted desperately to be with her ex-husband again. John had tried to be as comforting as he could. He had quickly become a good friend and they spent a lot of their time together; talking, going out for dinner, playing with Harry, and walking around Hogsmeade (where they had both lived at the time).
And although he had known very well that Lily was still madly in love with the baby's father, John had tried to pursue a relationship with her. One night, it had all just--happened. They'd been sitting on the couch--Lily was feeding Harry--and when he finished…well, the rest was a blur. But 6 months later, here they were. In a nice, new house in Godric's Hollow.
Same place as she and James had lived.
She tore her eyes from the picture, rounded the corner and went downstairs. The living room was still clean from yesterday's spurt of Spring Cleaning (mind you, it was December), and Lily inhaled its fresh scent. She loved things to be clean. If Harry threw even one toy out of his crib, she had a hard time bypassing the room without putting it back.
"'Ood!" Harry insisted impatiently; Lily heard his stomach growl.
"Sorry. Sorry," she said and hurried into the kitchen where the cold, floor tiles sent goose bumps up her arms and legs. Placing Harry in his high chair, she then went to the pantry to grab the instant cereal mix. The whole process of sprinkling the powder into his favorite red bowl, adding a bit of cinnamon for extra flavor, giving it a tap with her wand (which Harry gasped in awe at) and setting it on the tray in front of him took about 30 seconds. She even bewitched the spoon to feed him.
Harry giggled and bounced happily in his chair. He loved seeing his parents use magic and got excited every time. It never seemed to get old. Lily gave him a kiss on the forehead before she walked into the living room to select a magazine from her basket. She wanted to make this quick in case anything happened while she was out of the kitchen. Even simple household spells could be dangerous.
Her hand was on the latest copy of "People Magazine" when the doorbell rang. She grew excited. It had been nearly an hour. John! He was home! She rushed to the front door, the wintriness of the doorknob seeping into her skin, and she swung the door open, a welcoming grin on her face.
But when she saw who was standing before her, it distorted into an expression that could be described as many things. Confused. Surprised. Worried. Angry. Amorous, even.
The person on her doorstep was the last person she had expected to see.
Because the person on her doorstep was James Potter.
: : :
Yay! Return of the cliffies. Go Megan.
I would like to add that I was pleasantly surprised at both the quick succession and number of reviews that my first chapter received. I checked my mail this morning and 6 emails were in there! I grinned…muchly.
My first reviewers!
satans little fairy--I like James too, but he was bad James! He redeems himself nicely, though.
Cherry Chalk--Yes, I do try to limit my stories to original ideas. Not the ones where Lily and James are in school and they hate each other, or she hates him and he loves her, and they get together in the end. While some of them are well written, one does grow bored. -wink- I hope this chappie was good enough for your faves!
LJstagflower4e/JCtigerwolf4e--Like I said before--your penname takes way too long to type! xP Hah! I win! I made you hate James and love John! Just like I told you I would. -smug grin- And I put the question "Why did I sign divorce papers?" in there just for you, Becca! They WERE married!
Pale pink roses--Microsoft Works does not want to let me leave the first `p' lower case. Anywho, glad you loved the chapter! I didn't even like James at the time I wrote that, and he is my second favorite character next to Lily! And we ALL love John! (Even you, Becca! Bwahaha.)
athenakitty--You know, I don't think that you've ever sent me a review that had a statement in it. -Grin- And I even managed to answer a couple of them in this chapter! I'll try my best with the rest: I'm not spoiling the bit about James. You'll have to wait until the next chapter. Sirius is very irrelevant to this story and I'm not sure where he fits in yet. That's the lovely thing about waking up with an idea--your brain doesn't fill in the simpler bits. And just in case this didn't clear things up, Harry did not know who James even WAS until Lily showed him the pictures. He called John daddy. Or "Da". Because John is the only father figure he knows.
Megan
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