New Author's Note: Okay, you guys - I feel really dumb about not posting the rest of this story on Portkey until now. You know why? It's been done for YEARS. Yeah, sorry about that. I posted a new chapter of one of my other stories and I discovered this little clerical error of mine.
Old Author's Note: I am very excited about this chapter. It adds on to the clue I put in my comments to the reviewers. Let's just see if you're clever enough to find it, shall we? And to pick out the next clue in this chapter. I look forward to your reviews!
And I am trying hard not to feel offended at a comment someone made. John is not gay. I originally intended to do a scene where his dark side comes out and he goes all weird on James. But it was so uncharacteristic that I decided against it. All the times you all see "I just want her to be happy" is him trying to convince himself that this is what he actually wants. Well, let me clue you in. HE IS LYING TO HIMSELF. Who would want to give up their girlfriend? There is a lot of private grieving on John's part that I haven't decided if I want to publicize. But rest assured, he is not as much of a push-over as he comes off as.
Oh, and I've found a flaw; I said it was December. Harry's supposed to be 11 months old. His birthday would have to be in January for that to work. Damn.
As for the `Floo Network Authority' job, James works two jobs, as the Floo Network one doesn't require much (on most days, anyway), and he rarely gets called in for his Auror one. They leave the daily basis work to the Aurors-in-training rather than the ones who've been around a while. But you won't see him work much. He has a very odd schedule and only goes into the office about once or twice a week. Mostly due to the fact that he's rich (loads of inheritance money he received on his 18th birthday) and doesn't really need to work. Then there's just the fact that Lily's over and he wants to spend as much time with her as he can.
Dedications: ….Well, you know me. Of course there are more.
My Muse: She is wonderful in supplying even more ideas for this story.
Chapter 4: Comforting and Day One
(12:42 a.m. 238 Lorillard Avenue. Godric's Hollow.)
As Lily laid in her bed that night beside a sleeping John, she felt two different, opposite emotions relating to the deal she had just made. On one hand, she felt her insides squirming with anticipation of James's arrival tomorrow. She wanted to go with him. To try and mend their mistakes. They both knew that they could easily make it work.
But on the other hand, she was so used to her life with John and Harry. It would feel so odd to not have him around anymore. John was always there when he needed her; and if he wasn't, he was always a phone call away. (Yes, John has been Muggle-ized by Lily. She bought him a cell phone. And I don't care if they didn't have them in the early `80s. They do now.) And James? Before they had split up, Lily would be surprised if he were a room away. They spent so much time together.
She and John spent more time apart. He worked full-time and would always stop in if he was called. Lily didn't like that. She liked being with him. He had given up his part-time position for a better paying full-time one three months ago. It was why they had moved to Godric's Hollow in the first place. And when she had been living with James, he was rarely called in to work (an Auror) and she had, at the time, been on maternity leave from the same position.
Now she was blissfully unemployed. There was no need for her to have a job. John made all of the money they required. It was also better for Harry to grow up around her rather than a baby sitter.
She turned to look at John, propping her self up with her arm, bended so she supported her head. He looked so peaceful as he slept; his face was smooth and undisturbed, his soft bangs cast a shadow on his forehead in the dim light, and if she looked hard enough, it almost seemed like he was smiling. Not a full fledged smile, just around the edges of his lips. Lily smiled back and gently touched his cheek. His smile grew wider.
"You were supposed to be asleep!" Lily rebuked playfully, swatting his chest.
"I couldn't sleep. I knew you were awake. And you were thinking about tomorrow."
She snuggled up to him and he put his arm around her back. "I was. But I'm tired now."
"Oh," he said, a hint of disappointment in his voice, "I guess I can't give you your going away present, then."
"You got me a present?" she asked, taken aback, and turned around to lean on his chest so she could look him in the eyes. "When did you have the time?"
"Well, it's…sort of a present," he explained with an odd grin. "I just…wanted to be with you one last time. Before I lose you."
She kissed his forehead. "You're not going to lose me. You can stop by to see Harry and me whenever you want. Unless the blinds are shut." She laughed to assure him that she was joking. "And I might not even stay. Neither one of us knows how the week will go."
"Yeah, I know." Lily could tell that he was dubious of this.
"But I'd be happy to share one last time with you," she said, nuzzling under his chin with her curly red head.
"Really?" he asked, sounding surprised and pleased, "Even if there's a possibility you'll get back with James?"
"Yes," she said resolutely. "Because for tonight, I'm with you."
- - -
She was walking down a darkened alley, Harry clutched tightly in her arms, and felt the wet road beneath her feet. It consisted of hundreds of differently shaped bricks; some even had carved script on them telling who the donators were that paid for the road. She averted her attention to her higher surroundings: on her left side, a long row of towering buildings stooped over her, and when she looked more closely, she could see that they were townhouses. To her right, adjacent to the paved sidewalk was an equally lengthy wooden fence. Even in the darkness it looked worn and dirty. There were a few holes poked through it and two lazy cats lounged on its top. How they managed this without falling off, Lily nor the world may never know.
Lily walked farther up the road, minding her feet as she watched for protruding bricks. Harry ignored all of her attempts to play with him along their walk and remained focused ahead. She looked down the road; in the distance, she could see that it forked. Picking up her pace, she reached it in no time. There was no sign at the fork giving directions, as there should have been, so Lily peered down each path in turn.
The first one had someone standing at the end of it. He or she was about a hundred feet off. When she squinted, she could make out the grinning face of John. He stood there with his hands in his jacket pockets, rocking patiently on his feet and even humming a cheerful tune. When he saw Lily, he waved.
She shifted a few feet to the right and looked down the second path. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who was waiting for her at this one. Clad in the same outfit she had seen him in just yesterday, James looked back at her. He gave her a cheerful smile and a wave. She stepped farther backwards so that she could see them both at the same time. John looked a bit more eager than he had before and James was staring expectantly at her.
"Lily!" "Are you coming?"
She bit her bottom lip. Which path? Surely she should go to John. Right?
`One last time.' Echoed in her head.
Lily thought. `Last. He said last time. That means…no more.'
`So go with James,' the nasty voice coaxed.
`But John,' she said concernedly, `he'll be all alone.'
`Not for long!' the voice squealed in delight before promptly leaving.
"What does that mean!?" Lily yelled, turning in a full circle to look for any sight of the voice. "Don't you hurt John!"
Then another thought occurred to her. `Had he been cheating?'
"Come on, Lily!" "Let's go!"
Their calls were becoming more anxious now. Maybe they thought something was wrong.
"I'm fine!" she called, and noticed that her echoes sounded shrill and scared.
"Lily!" "Lily!" They called simultaneously. It echoed over and over.
"Stop!" she yelled, once the noise became too loud and frequent for her to handle, switching Harry to her right arm and covering an ear with her left. "Stop calling me!"
"Lily!"
"Stop!"
"Lily!"
"STOP!" Her head was pounding and her body was dripping with sweat. She thrashed about, trying to run far away from the noise, and found that she could barely move. Something was holding her back. She shut her eyes against the frustration of being confined and felt an odd sensation in her arms and legs.
"Lily!" This time, the call was less insistent. It was gentle and soothing. Her eyes shot open and she was met with the blurry figure of James. Startled, she scooted back to the side of the bed nearest the wall and rested her back up against it. She was tangled in her bed sheets.
"I've gone blind!" But when she blinked again she realized how silly she was being. Her surroundings were not a darkened alley but her own bedroom. Everything was still the same as last night; her dresser was littered with jewelry, its mirror, and letters, the closet door was still shut, the floor clean with a small pile of shoes at the foot of the bed, and the bookcase was as tidy as ever. The only thing missing was John. James was here instead.
"Are you okay?" he asked uncertainly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "We've been trying to wake you up for ten minutes."
"We?" she echoed, looking around the room. "Who's `we'? You got a toad in your pocket?"
Ignoring her comment, he said, "John and me. He gave up about 4 minutes ago and went to work. He said to tell you goodbye and that a group of kids came in for their tests and he had to leave. He's a strange bloke, you know," James commented thoughtfully, "I asked him to come for dinner and he said no. Weird. Thought he might like to see you and Harry."
Lily's cheeks were burning uncomfortably and she took the opportunity to wipe the sweat off of her forehead. "Maybe he's got plans," she suggested evasively.
James cocked an eyebrow. He knew her too well. "Plans, eh? Of what kind? Anything like that vivid dream you were having just then?" He smirked, putting emphasis on the word `vivid'.
Lily smacked his shoulder. "It wasn't that kind of vivid, you git. It was just…confusing."
James folded his arms and rested them on his arched knees, gazing at her inquiringly. "Confusing? How so?"
"Can we talk about it some other time?" she implored.
"Sure."
"Is Harry ready to go?" she asked distractedly, disentangling her feet from the bedspread.
"Er…not quite," he exaggerated. Lily gave him a look and his shoulders sagged in defeat. "Alright, he's not even up yet. But he will be. I'll get him ready while you're getting ready. Okay?"
"Okay," she agreed, pushing off of his knee to hop off of the bed. "Now out!"
- - -
It had taken around thirty minutes to get all three of them ready and over to James's house eight blocks over on Maple Oak Lane. Harry had cooperated very well that morning due to the fact that he woken up to see that it wasn't his mother or John that was there, but James. And Harry liked James. After squealing his name excitedly several times, he had let James change him and put his day clothes on. He even went downstairs and made him a bottle (Lily kept bottles in the fridge. Easy to warm up.), which made Lily very proud to see.
`He finally knows what he's doing. And he does it well. Harry loves him.'
"Wow," she said, genuinely impressed as she entered the kitchen. "Where'd you learn how to take care of a baby?" (She was impressed that he knew what to do, but had to slip in her fair share of teasing. It wasn't, after all, that hard to change a child, dress them, and warm up some milk. But she was pleased all the same.)
James shrugged, embarrassed at her praise. "I just…I've done some reading."
"Oh?"
"Yes. There're a lot of…erm…helpful books in the library."
Lily uttered a mock gasp. "James Potter stepped foot in a library? Willingly?"
He glared at her; the same expression Harry gave her when he was annoyed. "Yes. It was actually kind of fun."
Lily mouthed the word `wow'. "Amazing. James had fun in a library."
"You know," he said, "If I didn't love you, I wouldn't love you right now." He smiled at her.
She went very red and little else had been said until they reached his house.
- - -
(9:45a.m. 1457 Maple Oak Lane. Godric's Hollow.)
When they finally reached James's house, Lily was reminded of how massive it was. And expensive. The front door was shiny mahogany wood with a gold plated door handle and matching lion-shaped knocker. She peered through its window as James unlocked the door and saw the distorted shape of a grand room; this place obviously had a lot of concealing charms on it. It looked much smaller from the outside. Lily snickered to herself at the thought; James had never been good at charms.
`I wonder who charmed it for him?'
He pushed the door open and it bumped the wall as it swung backwards. Harry squealed in excitement when he saw the large room before them; on the right, there was a staircase, and to the left, the dining room that Lily knew led straight to the kitchen. Further ahead was the living room, and to the right past the staircase lay the "extra-curricular" room, as she had formerly nicknamed it. Lily grabbed the handle of Harry's carrier and walked into the house. A lovely Persian carpet was beneath them, giving a nice touch to the hard wood floors below. There was a thin wooden table along the staircase's wall with three framed pictures and a full-length table runner below them.
When they walked further down the hall, she peeked into the dining room and saw that the table had a vase of lilies as a centerpiece, two candles on either side of the vase, and its own, longer table runner.
She looked back at him, slightly impressed. He smiled. "Do you like it? I fixed everything just for you."
A tingling feeling swept through her. "I love it," she said breathlessly.
"Then you'll love this," he said eagerly, taking her hand, "come on." He took them up the long flight of stairs and down the hallway to the last of the four bedrooms, pausing outside the door. Turning to face her, he said, "Close your eyes. I want it to be a surprise."
She obliged him and heard him open the door after a few seconds. He led her in carefully, moving her in front of him. He inhaled a deep, shaky breath.
"Open your eyes."
Lily opened them and a rush of color met her eyes. She was standing in the room they had used as a catch-all for their boxes and bags when they had first moved in. The last time she had seen it, it had been piled with towers of boxes and rows of large bags of clothing and knick-knacks. But now it was clean. And totally unrecognizable; the rush of color she had seen was the walls that had been muraled with characters from `Winnie the Pooh.' (James had always been an artist.) There was a crib (also decorated with Winnie the Pooh memorabilia) and a changing table against the back wall, along with a painted side table and a lamp. The wall on their right was bare except for paintings, and the one on their left held the closet. James had also installed several shelves in random locations around the room on which he placed books, stuffed animals, and decorative toys. There was even a red and yellow toy box.
Lily turned around and grinned widely at James, who started to grin back. "So…you like it?"
Surprising herself with her audacity, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. "It's wonderful, James! When did you do this?" She pulled back and looked at him.
"A couple weeks ago. I had been planning on coming to see you about Harry for a while. But," he added, "the things downstairs were done last night. I had no idea you would be coming over when I went to visit yesterday."
"Well, I love it all," she said, leaning back against him. His arms encircled her waist. "How about you, Harry?" she asked, addressing the baby in the carrier, "do you like your new room?"
He giggled in excitement.
- - -
(2:12 p.m. 238 Lorillard Avenue. Godric's Hollow.)
John slumped down on the couch in the living room and stared blankly up at the ceiling. It had taken those four children three hours to complete their written exams and forty-five minutes for their physical ones. And because it was Sunday and he was the supervisor, he had been the only one working in his department today. Then traffic had been horrible on the way back (He preferred driving in) and he'd been stuck in a jam. Now he was beat.
`I can almost hear Lily stirring in our bedroom. Any minute she'd be down here to greet me. And maybe even snuggle.'
But she wouldn't be. Lily was gone. She was eight blocks away with Harry and James. John couldn't feel too depressed, though. After all, he had gotten his last night with Lily and the promise that she'd be there at the end of the week with Harry, regardless of whether she was remaining at Maple Oak or not, to say goodbye. And to arrange a schedule for John to come see Harry. If, in fact, she was staying.
`I want her to stay. Right? She's happy there. That's what I want. I want her to be happy.'
`Who are you kidding?' asked a voice unexpectedly. `You want Lily back. Admit it.'
`I…I know I do,' he admitted. `But I also want her to be happy. You know I can't do what James does.'
`But you still want her back,' insisted the voice.
`I know.'
As much as John wanted Lily to be happy, he wanted to be happy as well.
And right now, he wasn't feeling very happy.
- - -
(7:36 p.m. 1457 Maple Oak Lane. Godric's Hollow.)
Lily had had a wonderful day. They'd spent all of their time indoors; talking and catching up with each other's lives, chatting and laughing about the old days, and playing with Harry. Then it was dinner time. James had transfigured one of the dining room chairs into a lovely high chair for Harry when he had embarrassingly realized that he had forgotten to purchase one. Lily lit the candles (as she was better in Charms than he was), and did the spoon trick for Harry again. He loved it. And he seemed to love James and his house. He had only asked about John once the entire day and Lily told him that they would go to see him next Sunday.
A lot of help that is to Harry.
The best part of the meal was not the flowers, the candles, or even the lovely table runner; James had remembered to cook her favorite food. Pasta. And lots of it. He had also remembered that she preferred oil and garlic as a topping rather than sauce. They even chopped up a few noodles for Harry to try. And he loved anything the adults did.
Halfway through the meal, James broke the silence. "Do you like your food? You still like garlic and oil, right?" He sounded very anxious.
"Yeah. It's great, James," she said earnestly, "But you know, everything doesn't have to be perfect." At his uneasy expression, she added,
"But it was."
- - -
(8:23 p.m. 1457 Maple Oak Lane. Godric's Hollow.)
Lily was washing dishes in her old kitchen. Everything was exactly as she remembered it. The dish rack was on the left, the breakfast bar in front of the sink, the refrigerator was behind her and the stove to her right. And the microwave was still to the right of the refrigerator, near where they kept the bread box and the spices.
She had offered to do the dishes to give James and Harry some alone time. All day it had been the three of them and she wanted to give them an opportunity to bond. Just the men. As she scrubbed the last dish she noticed that the giggles and faint mumbling that had been coming from the nearby living room had ceased. She stuck the dish onto the dish rack and tiptoed the long way out of the kitchen; the creaky door might have disturbed them.
When she rounded the corner and stepped into the living room, an adorable sight met her eyes; they were both asleep on the couch, Harry tucked into the crook of his father's arm. One of Harry's arms had drifted over to James's chest. Their messy black hair was--well, messy, and James had removed his glasses. They looked nearly identical. Having their eyes closed helped.
`Awwwwww.'
She nipped back upstairs (as quietly as she could, being excited and all) and into the bedroom she and James were sharing to get her Polaroid camera.
"Grr," she mumbled as she dug through the bag. She finally found it at the bottom and raced back down the steps and into the living room once again.
`Good. They haven't moved.'
A quick aim and click of the lens and a small, square, gray picture slid out of the chute. She removed it, touching only the white edge, and gently sat both her camera and the picture down on the table, making sure it would face James when it dried. His glasses were placed in front of it so that he couldn't miss it.
Then she curled up with him.
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