Chapter 3
Within a few days Hermione was tired of her mixed emotions regarding Harry. She was tired of Ron's waffling as well. She decided to put a stop to it once and for all. She arrived at his flat unannounced and knocked at the door. "Are you alone?" she called through the closed door.
"Just a minute," he answered. A few seconds later the door swung open. "Hermione, what an expected surprise…" he said teasingly. "I suppose you've come to talk about Harry…"
"Yes, Ron, I have. May I come in?"
"Of course," Ron answered picking up scattered clothing from around the drawing room.
"No need to pick up for me. You did give Luna my love, did you not?"
Ron reddened. "How did you know?"
Hermione smiled at his obliviousness. "First of all, I know you and Luna have been seeing each other; she told me about a month ago. Secondly, you only hesitate to open the door to me, if there is someone you are shooing out via the Floo. And thirdly, either you have started donning ladies' lingerie…" she pulled a camisole from the pile of laundry in his arms. "…or she was the one exiting before I came in…"
"Alright, so she was here," he admitted. "I like her, Hermione. She understands about you and me, plus asking you to marry me again was her idea. She knows what we mean to each other and is willing to take a chance on me anyway…"
"I hope everything works out for you, Ronald, but I did come to talk about Trey…I mean Harry."
"It helps me to keep them separate. Trey is a stranger and decidedly not the best friend I lost…"
"I know that and that's one of the reasons I came to talk to you. You have to remember that it's the same person! Whenever he says something Harry would have said, you treat him like your long lost brother, but if he says something different, you scowl and grumble as if he were some interloper. Don't think for a minute that he hasn't noticed…"
"What do you want me to do?" he asked. "He's not the friend I lost. He's some new person trying to worm his way into our lives…"
"That's just it!" she said vehemently. "If you think about it, he was reasonably happy in that hospital and we dragged him away from that. If he seems torn, it's because he is. He's trying to remember who he was and how he fits into the scheme of things here. We need to help him with that, not grumble because he gets it wrong…"
"You sure are singing a different tune these days," Ron reminded her. "What happened to 'That would require interest on my part'…"
"I was wrong and I admit it. There. Are you happy?"
"I still think he could be dangerous, Hermione. He was in a mental institution…"
"You know all about that, Ron. He was there because he showed up clutching a dead body. He didn't know how it happened and didn't remember his past. Of course they wouldn't just let him walk free. We know at least the why, and we remember who he is. He passed all of the tests with flying colors. Why is that not good enough for you?"
"Dad and I think he's hiding something. Did you ever stop to think that just maybe he's faking the whole amnesia thing?"
"I cannot believe you just said that…" said Hermione warningly.
"Or what about, since he cast the killing curse on himself and came out alright, why not a few memory charms…He's got Lockhart as an example…."
"Or maybe," stated a furious Hermione. "You are feeling a bit jealous that he's back. You were happy he was gone, weren't you. You're just looking for a way to get rid of him again so that he's not tramping on your turf…"
"I think you'd better leave, Hermione, before I say something I might regret…"
"Just think about what I've said…"
"I will, if you think about how you're being blinded by the fact that your lover is back and that you can't see past it!"
"That's low, Ron, really low. The fact is that my 'lover' isn't back. What we've gotten back is a man who is struggling to make sense of what's happened to him. If you can't see past your own insecurities to see that, then I suggest you just stay away!" She turned toward the door.
Ron, in an attempt to get the last word in, shouted, "That's exactly what you are hoping for, isn't it?"
Hermione visited Grimmauld Place every day after work. Sometimes she brought Andrew, other times she left him with her mum. She hadn't spoken with Ron in over a week, which bothered her. Usually they patched up their spats after only a few days.
On Thursday night, she arrived to find Harry thrashing around in his bed, hands clenched in his hair. She quickly brought him a cold compress and talked soothingly to him in low tones. Harry, who was barely coherent, submitted to her assistance without protest. When he quieted, she called Madam Pomfrey at Hogwarts for advice. After brewing the suggested potion and dosing him with it, she held him as he slept.
The next morning, he awoke. His eyes were almost wild looking as he prepared for the day. He found Hermione in the kitchen sipping a cup of tea.
"Good morning," she said softly to him.
"Hi," he returned even softer, pouring himself a cup of tea as well.
"Are you feeling better?" she asked.
He nodded gently. "I suppose I should have mentioned that I tend to be prone to migraines since the accident or whatever…"
"Your eyes, they…Are you still in pain?" she asked.
Harry smiled. "…much better, thanks. That concoction you gave me really helped…much better than the injections I'm used to…Thanks."
"What did you have planned for today?" she asked, noticing his affected speech.
"Remus coming…Ron said…Mrs. Weasley…"
"Maybe you'd best get some more sleep," she suggested.
"M'fine…" he answered laying his head on the table top.
"Rough night?" asked Remus as he walked through the door, smiling sympathetically.
"Not bad…no needles…." Harry replied not lifting his head from the table.
"He's fighting off a migraine," Hermione explained. "I got the potion instructions from Madam Pomfrey."
"I've noticed he has them a few times a week," said Remus. "I came to see if he wanted me to take him back to St. Mungo's…you know…see if they can find something to help…"
Harry quickly straightened; his wide eyes full of terror. "No…NOT GOING!" He leapt off the chair and raced for his bedroom.
Remus sat down as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. "What was that about?" Hermione asked in disbelief.
"Let's just say he's a bit leery of going back there. I don't blame him. They truly put him through the paces last time he was there…"
"I remember," she said.
"I've suggested it several times and he was thinking it over, but possibly I should have refrained from mentioning it again when he was feeling poorly." Remus rubbed a hand across his face. "I wish I knew how to help him…"
Hermione laid her hand on top of his. "You are trying; that's what counts. It was a good idea to bring it up when he might be more open to getting help. It could have gone either way…"
"I should have realized and done something sooner, Hermione. I knew when he hit that cave that…"
"Cave? What cave?" she asked.
"When he cast the Killing Curse on himself, he was blasted against the side of a cave and fell to the ground. I didn't want to go into detail with you before. I thought he was dead! There was no point in putting you through more suffering…"
"Tell me everything that you can remember, Remus, please…"
Remus cast a Silencing Charm on the room. "I arrived in the forest. I was angry that Harry had given me the slip. I saw only the back of his head through the trees and saw the glow of his wand locked with Voldemort's. Harry was taunting him, like I said before. I've never seen such…I don't know…I don't know whether to call it courage or stupidity…"
"They both describe him accurately…" Hermione added.
"Then Voldemort was gone and Harry was writhing in pain; kneeling on the ground. I went closer. Harry was saying these horrible things to me in Voldemort's voice. I knew that Voldemort was possessing him. Harry looked up at me and said in his own voice, 'If this doesn't work, Remus, tell her I'm sorry…' and he aimed the wand at his chest and cast the curse. Through the blinding light, I saw him be blast through the air and into the side of the cave. When the light faded, I saw him. He was…he was bleeding from his nose, mouth and ears. His eyes were open, lifeless. I turned toward the school and signaled for help. When I turned back, he was gone…They both were gone." Tears rolled down his face as he continued. "I should have realized…We could have found him…"
"Don't blame yourself, Remus. We all failed him. I'll help you get him to St. Mungo's. Then we'll know if he will get his memory back. In the meantime, I'll go talk to him."
She found Harry pacing like a caged lion in the room he'd been given. "I shouldn't be here…I should just go back to St. Joseph's or…or…far away from this place…"
"Please don't do that…" Hermione said soothingly. "I know this is hard for you and we aren't making things any easier, but please know we are trying…"
Harry stopped and looked at her. "Are you?"
"Yes, Harry, we all are. I'm sure it doesn't seem like it, but…"
"No, that's not what I meant…it's just…well…" He stopped and ran a hand through his messy hair. "It's all so confusing. That one man…Remus? He wants me to wave this stick about, expecting something to happen and it doesn't. That Ron fellow stares at me like I've stolen his bicycle or something and is trying to catch me out on it…" Harry sighed deeply. "The only person who seems not to be disappointed in me is Andrew. It's rather daunting, don't you think?"
"No one is disappointed in you…" she said softly; however she did make a mental note that he seemed to have bonded with his son.
"No one has said as much, but I can feel it, Hermione. Everyone, including you, it's like they are waiting for me to do something spectacular…to live up to the glory that was Harry Potter, and I'm not that man. I don't know that man…How am I ever expected to compete with that?"
"That's just it, Harry. You are that man. You just can't remember him…"
"And there's a good chance that I'll never remember him. I'm Trey. I'm really starting to regret saying I'd accept being called Harry. There's so much baggage that comes with that name. I can't deal with it all. And I'm not sure I want to. Look, I don't mean anything bad against you and your friends, but I think it's best if I leave here."
"She won't remember you, Harry…"
"Who? Oh, you mean Teresa?"
Hermione nodded. "I know you miss her…"
"It's not even that so much, really. It's just…." He paused and turned toward the window and let out a deep breath. "I was in a mental institution. I could deal with that. I'd look around and see people who were truly mad and it would make me feel sane…sort of. She knew that and would talk to me. She made me feel like I was sane in a way. That I was there because of some weird circumstance and it would all get worked out…"
"And it'll work out here! Just give it a chance…please! You were there for about two years. You can't expect to adjust in just a couple of week's time. This all seems strange to you. I know that. I wasn't born into this world either. I had to adjust as well, so I know a bit about where you are coming from. You'll see. Just give it a bit more time…please?" She looked sideways at him.
He nodded before adding, "I'm really tired. I think I'll lay down for a bit…"
She turned the bed down for him as she said, "I came up here to talk to you about getting help for your migraines, but that conversation can wait until later, alright?"
He closed his eyes. "I look forward to it…" he said with all of the sarcasm he could muster.
Hermione returned to her mum's house to find a lovely bouquet of flowers waiting for her. She slit open the enclosed envelope to read:
I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you. I'll try to be better around him for you because I miss both you and Andrew. And no, Luna is not making me write this…She may have made a suggestion that I felt was acceptable, but…
I'll go talk to Harry after work tonight. Meet me for lunch tomorrow?
Ron
Hermione smiled and sent an owl note accepting his lunch invitation. Mrs. Granger was feeding Andrew in the kitchen when Hermione walked in.
"Did you forgive him?" Mrs. Granger asked her daughter with a smile.
"Yes, the flowers are lovely…besides, Ron has always had a blind spot where Harry is concerned. He holds him in such high esteem that he tends to unconsciously take it as an insult when Harry fails. I can't even begin to explain it, but that's just the way it is."
"Sounds complicated…" Mrs. Granger observed.
"It's not really. I mean, we've known each other for so long that it's natural. Now, it's as if Harry changed the rules of the game with his injuries. Ron is taking a bit more time to adjust, that's all."
"What about Harry?" she asked. "How is he adjusting?"
Hermione thought for a bit, and then answered. "He's always been complicated. I know he's terrified of it all. I mean he doesn't remember doing magic and he's more than a bit intimidated by the whole 'The-Chosen-One' thing. He's afraid; more afraid than even he will admit that he's not that same person. He told me that he knows we are disappointed in him and that's the furthest thing from the truth…"
"Is it really?" Mrs. Granger probed.
"Of course, Mum," she said, disbelieving. "How can you say that?"
"You go over there every night and come home frustrated. I don't know if it is frustrations with him or with yourself. Give yourself some time, love. It'll all work out. You'll see. I know that you'll have the family that you've dreamed of. It's only a matter of time."
"But…that's not…" spluttered Hermione. "He needs me, Mum. I know he does. He'll talk to me when he won't talk to anyone else…"
"Then what are you waiting for? I'm not sure it's very good for him to bumble around that house alone and from what you've told me, not very safe, either. Go to him, Hermione. You've said he clung to Teresa because she was his constant. It sounds to me like he needs one right about now."
Hermione quickly packed a few things for herself and for Andrew. She shrunk his cot and put it in her pocket. She grabbed a few of her first year spell books and was ready to go. Arriving back into the kitchen, she hugged her mother. "You've done so much for me," she said tearfully. "Even when everyone was badgering me about Andrew's father, you never even asked…"
"I never had to…"
"Why not? Andrew doesn't favor his father at all…"
"Hermione, give me a little credit, please…I've heard nothing but 'Harry says' and 'Harry did' since you were eleven years old. When you thought you lost him, it devastated you. Now comes the hard part. You have to help him find his way back to you. I don't mean his memory, either; just show him the love and admiration you have for him and he'll see he can do no better…"
Hermione gave her mum a tight squeeze. "You are indeed the best Mum on the planet. Have I told you that?"
"Only when you want something... Now go before I get weepy…"
Ron Apparated to Grimmauld Place with a sense of hesitancy. He knew he hadn't been much of a friend to Harry, but he was doing the best he could. Yes, he'd promised to try harder for Hermione and he would, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Hermione was in for a fall. He met Luna there and accompanied her to the door. They quietly went in through the hall and into the drawing room. "Harry?" Ron called.
Harry came into the room with a tray of sandwiches, which Ron eyed appreciatively. "Hello, Ron. I was just about to have dinner. Remus sent plenty. Can I bring a plate for you and…?"
"I'm Luna," she greeted him. "I would say, 'Welcome back' but you aren't really, are you? I'll just have to make do with "Pleased to meet you…"
Harry smiled genuinely. "Pleased to meet you, too, Luna," he replied. Ron summoned two more plates from the kitchen. "Oh, I keep forgetting you can do that…"
"Have you tried any magic yourself?" asked Ron.
"Remus has come over to test me, but nothing's happened. Maybe I just don't have it anymore…"
"That's nonsense!" said Luna. "You just aren't in touch with your inner magic essence."
Ron rolled his eyes at Harry who grinned back. "Luna has a unique look on things. Since we've been dating, I've learned to just let her get on with it…"
Harry's eyes went wide. "You and Luna?" he asked with disbelief. "I thought you and Hermione…"
"Ronald and Hermione are more like siblings than anything else," Luna stated. "People assume there's more because they are so close, but can you imagine…well I suppose you can't at that…but the two of them bicker constantly. They'd never last an hour as lovers…" She continued, "Now that that's settled, let's get back to your magic. Have you tried many spells? Are you getting the incantation correct and the wand movements?"
"Remus says I am," he replied.
"Let's see it…"
Harry picked up his wand and gave a perfect 'Swish and Flick' while saying, "Wingardium Leviosa" and watched for something to happen. When nothing occurred, his shoulders slumped in defeat.
Luna asked him, "What did you expect to happen?"
"Remus said that the pillow will float up in the air or something…"
"And did you expect that to happen?"
He didn't know what she meant so he asked her, "What do you mean?"
"Magic isn't all about wand movements and incantations. Most adults don't even say the easier incantations anymore, just the wand flicks. I'm a Ravenclaw, so be prepared to try several hypotheses and experiments…"
Ron clarified, "Ravenclaw House was the clever house at school. They were the most intelligent of the lot."
"What was I?" Harry asked seriously.
"We were Gryffindors!" stated Ron proudly with his chest puffed out. "We were the brave and courageous house."
"I'm not feeling very courageous these days," Harry admitted.
"But you are!" exclaimed Luna. "You've been dropped into an entirely new world with all of us doing things that are supposed to be impossible. How can you feel anything but brave?"
Harry smiled. "I'll try to remember that."
"And I believe that may be part of the problem. You don't believe it is possible, so it isn't. Did I mention that Gryffindors are known for stubbornness, too?"
Harry looked at Ron who agreed, "She's right, mate. That's part of the reason I came over here tonight. I wanted to apologize…again. I haven't been a very good friend to you. In my defense I'd like to add that I was trying to keep Trey separate from Harry. Trey's a pretty cool bloke, but I've missed Harry for so long…"
Harry smiled before getting back to work. "Wingadium Leviosa!" Still nothing happened.
"Keep practicing," said Ron. "I never got spells on the first try either. The only one in our class that did was Hermione."
"Did someone call my name?" Hermione asked as she entered through the fire carrying her son. Andrew spotted Harry and squealed with delight. "Someone's glad to see you…" Hermione handed the boy over to Harry, who twirled him around and tossed him into the air before putting him down.
"Harry," Hermione started. "I need to talk to you about something…You see, I don't think it is productive for you to spend so much time here on your own. If it's alright with you, I'd like to take one of the spare bedrooms for me and Andrew until you get used to things."
"That's a wonderful idea!" cried Luna nudging Ron hard in the ribs.
"Right," said Ron with quite a bit less enthusiasm. "Really good idea…Er…Hermione can I have a word with you in the kitchen…"
Ron and Hermione went into the kitchen, leaving Harry and Luna alone. "I've got questions, if you don't mind…" Harry said.
"Please, feel free to ask me anything. I have to warn you, though. I tend to be a bit more honest than is generally acceptable…"
"Perfect," Harry said. "I'm looking for answers not platitudes. Who pays for this house and where does the money come from?"
"Who paid for your hospital care?" Luna asked in return.
"I believe it was a social program. I was technically a ward of the government."
"Both Ron and Hermione are footing the bills here…" At his disapproval, she continued, "No, allow me to finish…You were a very wealthy young man. When you started your trek to take down You-know-who…"
"Who?" Harry asked, "Voldemort?"
"Yes," stated Luna. "He is more commonly known as You-know-who or He-who-must-not-be-named. Anyway, you had arranged that if anything were to happen to you, then Ron and Hermione inherited your estate. Ron spent a bit of it when he got his flat, but he's been paying it back monthly. I believe Hermione might have borrowed a bit after the baby was born as well."
Meanwhile, in the kitchen Ron and Hermione were discussing Ron's concerns about Hermione staying with Harry. "What exactly are you trying to accomplish?" Ron asked heatedly.
"Just what I said," she answered, "I want to help him adjust. Honestly, Ron, I thought you were over this misplaced jealousy…"
"I'm not jealous!" he countered. "I realize he's helpless in our world right now and you want to help him, but why do you have to move in? Why can't someone else?"
"What are you afraid of, Ron?" she asked him.
"I don't want you to be hurt, like I said. I know you still love him. What happens if Trey doesn't return that love?" Ron paused and looked at her sincerely. "Look, I'll be the first person buying drinks if it works out, but have you thought about what happens if it doesn't? I remember how it was after we lost him, Hermione. I never want to go through that again…"
"By works out, do you mean he gets his memories back or adjusts to our lifestyle?"
Ron shrugged. "I don't know what I mean, actually. I mean it's only been a couple of weeks that he's been here. I think we all need time to adjust…"
"Exactly," Hermione agreed. "That's precisely why I moved in here, to help him adjust…"
Ron put his arms around her. "I only want to see you happy, that's all. If he's still hung up on that Muggle; that could make things a bit trickier…"
She leaned into him. "I know…" she breathed. "I'm not going to worry about that, though. It'll be fine. You'll see…"
At that point, the couple in the kitchen heard a yelp from the drawing room and hurried out to see what had happened. Luna wore a smug look, while Harry was backed against the wall as if he'd seen a ghost. A vase sat shattered on the floor.
"Is everything alright?" Hermione asked gently.
"Ronald, Hermione, I'd like you to welcome back Harry Potter…"
Just then the fire roared to life and Ron's parents came through. Mrs. Weasley brought an assortment of treats with her, including Harry's favorite treacle tart. "Harry, dear," she greeted him, giving him a hug with her free hand.
Arthur eyed Harry critically before extending a hand in greeting. "Settling in alright?" he asked and received a nod in return. "Good…good."
Hermione made a mental note to ask Ron what was up with his father, although she now knew where Ron's ambivalence came from. The fire roared to life again as more people entered. Harry looked at her questioningly before it came to her. There was an Order meeting tonight. She edged over to him to explain.
"You don't have to stay. You could watch Andrew for me, if you want," she said knowing that Harry would be the main topic of discussion. "I can explain later…"
Harry nodded and retreated up the stairs and into the room Hermione and Andrew were using. Exhausted, he laid on the bed beside the cot containing a sleeping little boy.