Ch. 2 The Aftermath
A/N: Hey guys. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I hope you like this chapter. It contains lost of yelling, which is always exciting! Anyways, as always, please R&R! Thanks!
"Fate will find a way."- The Aeneid
James' mind had gone completely blank. The room was eerily silent as his father's words lingered in the air. James couldn't hear anything except for Lily's rapid breathing and the chairs, as their parents shifted uncomfortably in them. They darted their eyes back and forth, daring the other to break the silence.
Lord Godfrey Potter cleared his throat, but Lily and James still sat paralyzed. "I know this is big news, but it's for the best. You'll see."
Mr. Potter paused. James and Lily still made no sound.
"Well," Lord Potter started again. "If neither of you have anything to say, lets discuss the terms of the contract."
With the flick of his wand, contracts appeared before each of them. James looked down and read the title.
Marital Binding Contract
The merge of Evans and Potter
Slowly, the words began sinking into James' brain.
Who will have an arranged marriage?
Me and Lily?
Yes.
No.
"No!" James' voice finally caught up with his brain. This can't be happening...
Lord Godfrey Potter closed his eyes and tried to calm himself. "James, we've discussed this thoroughly and-"
"I don't care what you've discussed!" James balled up his fists in anger. "This...It can't...It's absurd!"
"James," his mother said softly, "calm down. Everything's going to be fine."
"Calm down! I'm supposed to be calm about this! What did you expect mother? For me to be thrilled? Lily and I hate each other!"
Lady Viviane Potter looked sympathetically at her son. "Now James, that's not true. You and Lily adore each other..."
James stood up angrily. "OH, PLEASE MUM! I CAN'T STAND LILY EVANS!"
"James..." his mother said warningly. James took no notice.
" SHE'S CRITICAL, BOSSY, INCAPABLE OF ANY EMOTION OTHER THAN ANGER!"
"James!"
"AND SHE'S A HUGE PAIN IN MY ASS!"
"James Harold Godfrey Potter!" his mother's voice said sternly. "Sit down and control yourself!"
Control myself?! She had to be joking. But maybe this wasn't some cruel joke. Maybe it was just a bad dream. A really bad dream. James closed his eyes. But when he opened them again, nothing had changed. This was bloody-fucking real.
"If you guys think I'm going to marry Lily Evans, you're out of your fucking minds!"
"JAMES!" his father shouted. "SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!"
But the minute he sat down, Lily shot up, bumping her knees against the table, causing all the glasses to fall over. Everybody in the room jumped.
"Lillian!" Lady Sophia Evans gasped, "Where are your manners?!"
It was the first time James had looked at her since his dad had made the announcement. Her face was white as a sheet, and tears were beginning to fall down her cheeks. She looked like hell.
"I will not marry James Potter!" Her voice was shaky and unstable.
"Lily..." Lord Evans said softly.
"No dad! I'm not going to marry him!" She pointed her finger straight at her parents, her voice cracking. "And you can't make me!"
She sprinted out of the room, her sobs echoing down the hallway. The Evans' muttered apologies to the Potters and left to go chase after their daughter.
James put his head between his hands and began rubbing his temples. This was worse than a bad dream. It was a bloody nightmare.
***
Lily was having some sort of breakdown. She couldn't utter a word because her voice was choking on her tears, and
her vision was completely blurred. But that didn't stop her from running.
She ran as fast as she could, ignoring the portraits that called after her. She slammed the door to her room, and fell face first onto the bed. Her make-up was smudged and she knew her hysterical cries weren't attractive, but she didn't care. Her whole body shook with every sob, and her chest never felt so heavy.
How could they do this to her?
She had her whole future planned before they rudely interrupted it. She was going to move to London and get her own apartment. She was going to pay for it with her own money that she made working for the Ministry of Magic. She was going to work her way up from the bottom. And she was going to get to the top because she was skilled and dedicated, not because her father was Lord Christopher Evans. She was going to be independent.
But that had all changed in a matter of seconds. Now, her future consisted of nothing but being Potter's little wife and child bearer. The thought made her cry harder.
Lily heard a knock on the door. She squeezed her eyes shut in hopes of willing them away. Of course, it didn't work.
Lady Sophia Evans barged in without waiting for permission to enter. The minute they walked in, Lily knew she was in big trouble-but she didn't care. She was too numb to care.
"Lillian Rosemarie Evans!" her mother shouted from the foot of the bed. "That was the rudest, most inexcusable scene you have ever displayed in your entire life!"
Lily closed her eyes and wished more than anything that she was invisible.
"I want you to go downstairs and apologize to Mr. and Mrs. Potter for taking advantage of their hospitality!"
Tears silently fell down her cheeks, but her mother didn't notice.
"And while you're at it, I want you to apologize to James as well. Honestly, behaving like that in front of him! No wonder he doesn't want to marry you!"
Dear god, please make them go away, she thought. I just want to be left alone.
"Lily are you listening to me?! ANSWER ME!"
Lily shot up. "SHUT UP MUM!"
Lily's despair had turned into full-fledged anger. They had crossed a line. They were yelling at her, and they were ruining her life!
"Lily I will not tolerate you speaking to me like that!" Her mother's perfect blonde hair was starting to fall out of its bun, and her face creased in anger. Lily knew she was really pushing her mother's patience if she was causing her mother's appearance to falter.
Lady Sophia Evans took pride in being the perfect wife, with the perfect appearance and perfect manners. As much as Sophia Evans took pride in all these things, Lily despised her for it just the same. Lily and her mother hardly ever saw eye-to-eye with each other, which caused a huge strain in their relationship.
Sophia was always on her daughter's back about her complexion, her weight, and her temper. She felt that a woman should live for her man, and the only way to win a man was to look beautiful and keep your mouth shut.
Lily, on the other hand, thought the exact opposite. She had a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of attitude. And if a man didn't like her for who she was, then he wasn't worth her time. And Lily Evans refused to depend on a man. She felt there was nothing more degrading than seeing a woman depend solely on a man.
But if her parents got their way, and she did marry James Potter, she was going to go against everything she ever believed in. She was going to turn into her mother. The thought made her sick to her stomach.
"I'm not going to marry him!"
"Well Lily, you don't have much of a choice."
"But mum-"
"What?!"
"I don't love him," she finished weakly. She collapsed on the bed, hunched over, sure that there was something wrong with her heart. Why else would it hurt so much?
"Oh Lily..." Mr. Evans came and sat beside his daughter and rubbed her back. Mrs. Evans sat beside her too, her anger subsiding.
"You know Red," Lily laid her head on her fathers shoulder still crying. It had been a long time since she had cried on his shoulder. He wasn't around that much anymore. "marriage isn't always about love."
Lily lifted her head and looked at him skeptical. If marriage wasn't about love, then what was it about?
"It's about compromise, respect, and undying loyalty to your husband or wife. You have to find someone who you share similar goals and interests with, and know that you are safe and secure with that person. Love is not a top priority in a marriage, Red."
"Your father's right Lily." Mrs. Evans said, as she stroked Lily's hair. "Love is something you are rewarded with over time. You don't have to love James now, but you can learn to."
"Exactly," remarked Lord Evans. "Think of it as a business deal. You might not like the deal at first. But in the end, it will benefit your company."
Lily's face twisted in disgust. Was that what they thought of her? Some sort of business deal? Lily stood up and walked over to the balcony. She didn't know if she could handle being around them much longer.
"Lily," She could hear the irritation in her father's voice. "what's wrong now?"
Lily began messing with the curtain. She didn't know how to put it so that she could make them understand.
"I just can't marry James. It will totally ruin my future."
"Lily, look at me."
Lily looked up at her mother.
"I want you to tell me the truth, okay?"
Lily nodded.
"Is this all because you're nervous about the wedding night?"
Lily let out a bark of laughter. Wow, her mother didn't have a clue. Sleeping with James was the last thing on her mind. True, Lily was still a virgin, but she wasn't prude. Her mother probably thought that her and James had done nothing more than kiss each other modestly on the cheek. When, in reality, they had done a lot more than that. But Lily wasn't about to inform her mother of that little fact now.
"Mum, you just don't get it!"
Lady Sophia threw her arms up defensively. "What? What did I say now? All I did was ask if you were nervous about the wedding night? It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's apart of-"
"Mum! Shut. Up!"
"Lily!" Lord Evans stood before his daughter, anger soaking every word. "Stop speaking to your mother like that."
Normally Lily was terrified of her father when he was angry, but Lily had lost all control.
"I won't get married!"
"Lily stop it!"
"NO DAD, IT WILL TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY RUIN EVERYTHING!"
"LILY STOP THIS NONSENSE! YOU WILL GET MARRIED. YOU WILL BECOME A POTTER!"
"BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE A POTTER!" She cried. "I JUST WANT TO BE ME!"
The room was silent. A breeze drifted in from the balcony, as Lily whipped the tears off her cheeks. Lady Evans sat on the bed, with one hand over her mouth, looking a tad frightened by their screaming. Lord Evans starred at his daughter, his eyes cold and scolding. Lily shivered.
"Lillian. Listen. To. Me." His voice was dangerously low. Lily didn't dare interrupt him. "You will marry James Potter. You will sign this contract. And you will honor your parents wishes without complaint."
Lily stood and messed with the curtain, her body full of heat. She couldn't meet his eyes, but she knew they starring straight at her.
"Now," he said clicking his tongue. "Lets talk about this contract."
Lord Evans walked over to the bed and picked up a briefcase that he had brought in. He opened it and began flipping through the papers. Lily looked up and caught her mothers' gaze. Lady Evans looked away and began fixing her hair, so that it was all tucked back in its bun.
Lady Evans stood up and cleared her throat. "Um...Christopher?"
"What?" he barked, not even bothering to look up from the papers.
"Um..I was just thinking that maybe...maybe we shouldn't discuss the contract tonight."
The rustling of the papers stopped. Lord Evans lifted his head and narrowed his eyes at his wife.
"What do you mean we shouldn't discuss it tonight?"
Lady Evans began twirling a strand of hair nervously. "I-I mean it's late, and Lily's clearly upset-"
Lord Evans slammed the papers back in the suitcase causing Lily and Mrs. Evans to jump.
"Bloody hell, not you too!"
"No, no, no, Chris! Just listen to-"
"Are you now thinking that Lily shouldn't go through with this marriage either?"
"No, no, no! I was just-"
"Cause let me tell you something Sophia!"
Lily stood in the background and watched her parents fight. If this was what she had to go through in a marriage, then she would rather be in hell.
"I'm not marrying James Potter!"
They both stopped arguing and looked at her, her father red with anger.
"What did I just get finish saying Lillian! YOU WILL-"
"YOU GUYS GETTING MARRIED NEVER MADE ANYONE IN THIS ROOM VERY HAPPY! SO, WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH IT?"
The room fell silent once again. Lord Evans' face turned purple. Lady Evans stood motionless refusing to look up from the floor. Lily stood panting, regretting what she had just said.
Lord Evans spun around in one quick motion. He slammed the briefcase shut and walked toward the door. He had one hand on the knob before her turned around to face them.
"Sophia you got your wish. We will wait until tomorrow to discuss the contract." Lady Evans still refused to look up from the floor. He scuffed at her in disgust before turning towards his daughter. "Now Lillian, listen to me. I don't care if you kick and scream. I don't care if you cry. I don't even care if you threaten to kill yourself! The point is, you will marry James Potter eventually. SO YOU BETTER GET USED TO THE IDEA!"
He slammed the door and walked out. Lily stood frozen by the balcony. Why was he doing this to her? Why couldn't he see just how much this was killing her?
Lily looked over at her mom, hoping to find some sort of comfort. Lady Evans took a deep sigh and turned towards Lily. Tears were glistening in the corner of her eyes, but she didn't allow them to fall. Instead, she raised her head higher.
"Go to bed Lily. We will see you in the morning." Lady Evans turned around and shut the door behind her, leaving Lily all alone.
Lily gaped after her mother. Was that all she had to say to her? After all that had happened?
The breeze began to pick up and Lily wrapped her arms around herself, her heart pounding in her ears. What was she going to do? She couldn't marry James, she'd be miserable. She couldn't runaway, her dad would kill her. So seriously, what was she supposed to do?
Defeat flooded through Lily's veins. She collapsed on the floor and let her cries be her only source comfort.
***
"James, come on. Say something."
James was pacing back and forth through the parlor with a million thoughts bouncing around in his head.
"James, please don't be like this."
James continued pacing, a dull headache beginning to form. This was insane.
"James? Are you okay? Please answer me?"
James sighed, collecting his thoughts. "How can I possibly be okay mum? I mean you guys are deciding my life here."
Mr. Potter took a deep breath. "We've been over this..."
James sighed and flopped into the chair across from his parents. He was getting rather sick of his parents 'we're-doing-this-for-your-own-good' speech.
"James we're doing this for your own good. I know it doesn't seem like it right now-"
James snorted.
"-but try to understand. Please."
James ran his hand through his hair. He was trying to understand, really he was. But the answers they were giving him weren't good enough.
His mother reached across the table and squeezed his arm. James looked up at his mother, her hazel eyes clouded with worry.
James sort of felt bad about yelling at her earlier. He hardly ever yelled at his mother.
"James." She squeezed his arm again, and James looked up. "Talk to us. We're listening okay? We want to hear what you have to say."
James couldn't help it, he rolled his eyes. "Like what I say will make any difference."
"Well James, you're probably right," said Lord Potter. "But we know you have questions, and we are willing to answer them. So, take advantage of this opportunity, and ask us what's on your mind."
James sighed. To be honest, he knew the question he wanted to ask the most. He took a deep breath and decided it was now or never.
"Why Lily?"
Mr. and Mrs. Potter looked at each other and began speaking to one another with their eyes. James' leg began to bounce up and down nervously as he waited to hear their reply.
"Well," his mother began. "We knew there was a war approaching. A big war. So before you started Hogwarts, your father and I decided to arrange your marriage. We know it's a bit old fashioned, but we figured this was the best way for you to be happy and to keep the Potter legacy alive."
James' mind was swarming as he took all this in. It kind of made him sick to think that his parents had decided all of this before he had even hit puberty.
"Yeah okay, but why Lily?"
Lady Potter motioned for him to be quiet. "Shush, I'm getting there. Okay, so after we decided that you would have an arranged marriage, we began thinking of possible suitors."
"We knew that all Slytherin-type Purebloods were out of the question. But, unfortunately aristocratic families outside of the Slytherin House are very limited, " Lord Potter remarked. " We had no doubt that you would be in Gryffindor, so we started looking in Gryffindor families."
"And of course," his mother replied, "you know there aren't any Pureblood aristocratic Gryffindor's your age, so we decided we would wait and see who ended up in Ravenclaw. We figured it would be the next best thing."
"Then," his father said laughingly. "we met the Evans."
His parents started chuckling. James looked back and forth between them trying to figure out what was so funny.
"Oh James, " his mother said trying to contain her laughter. "The minute we saw her we knew she was perfect. She was smart, vivacious, and had that same spotlight permanently on her that you were born with."
"And not to mention beautiful," his father said wiggling his eyebrows.
To James' surprise, he started to smile. He pictured Lily when she was eleven with her charm, wit, and know-it-all presonality, which hadn't changed much. He had to hand to it to his parents, they definitely knew how to pick future brides.
"Anyways," Mrs. Potter continued, "we ran into them we when dropped you off at the train station your first year. They asked us how to get on the train, and they were so nervous about letting Lily go to Hogwarts. So we helped ease their minds about the wizarding world, and we answered any questions they had. Then, we discovered that they were aristocratic as well. So, we gave them our contact information and we kept close touch."
"Finally, after awhile," his father stated. "they began to question us about the war, and how we were dealing with it. So, we told them we were planning on arranging your marriage. Your mother and I had already decided that Lily was the best possibility. She was in Gryffindor, charming, good family background, and we thought it would be nice to mix up the bloodline. So, after some time, we proposed the idea of Lily being your suitor, and they loved the idea."
"Then," his mother said, "we began making the arrangements for you two to spend summers and holidays together. That way you would both be well acquainted with each-"
"Wait, wait, wait." James said, interrupting them. "You guys decided all this our first year?"
His parents nodded their heads slowly.
"So why didn't you guys just tell us then?" The anger was beginning to creep back into his voice. "Why make it so rushed now, when we could have had time to at least get used to the idea?!"
"James," his mother said softly, "We wanted you two to have some fun, and get to know each other without having this burden all through your school years."
James leaned against the back of the chair. He slowly began messaging his head, trying to get rid of his pounding headache. All this information was a lot to take in. His parents had know all about it for almost six years, and he had never suspected it. He should of known, really he should of. I mean whose Pureblood parents had parties and invited Muggleborns? He should have figured out when his dad would hiss in his ear to go greet Lily and tell her how pretty she looked that evening. And he definitely should have known, when his parents requested that he spend summers with Lily at her manor. Suddenly everything was starting to make a whole lot more sense.
"James," James looked up at his father, whose face had grown rather serious. "We know this isn't what you had planned after Hogwarts, but you have to understand what this war means. With the threat of You-Know-Who and Death Eaters, our time is becoming very limited."
James understood where they were coming from. They were worried and paranoid that they would be Voldemort's next target, and they wanted to see the Potter generation live on. But was marrying Lily really the answer? If he did marry Lily, what would exactly stop Voldemort and the Death Eaters from knocking on their door?
The thing that bothered James most was that he hadn't wanted things to turn out this way. He didn't want it this way at all. He didn't want his parents declaring their proposal. He wanted to be the one to propose to the woman he loved. He wanted to feel nervous and excited about getting married, not dread. And he wanted to be loved. He hated to sound like such a girl, but he did. He wanted to be loved by a woman, marry her, make her happy, start a family. Sure he was attracted to Lily, and there was a lot of sexual tension between them. But was that really true love?
James didn't think Lily would ever love him. Not like he wanted to be loved anyways. How could he survive in a loveless marriage? How could she? Suddenly, a horrifying thought struck James. He sat up straight and felt all the blood rush from his face.
"James, honey," his mother asked worried. "Are you alright?"
James swallowed the lump size knot in his throat. "O-Olivia. How am I going to tell Olivia?"
Mr. Potter sighed and Mrs. Potter looked sympathetically at her son.
"James," Lord Potter said, "you're going to have to tell her and break it off."
This infuriated James beyond belief. He stood up suddenly and began balling up his fists.
"Bu...but that's not fair!"
"James," his mother said, quietly. "I warned you not to get too serious with that girl."
"Yeah, because I thought you thought we were too young to be thinking about marriage!"
Mr. and Mrs. Potter looked at their son shocked.
"You were thinking about marriage?" Mrs. Potter croaked.
James sat down and began bouncing his leg up and down again. "No, but I would like to have had the option. I want to be the one to choose. Why can't I-"
Lord Potter began shaking his head vigorously. "No, James. I'm sorry, but that is completely out of the question."
"Why! Why is it so wrong?!"
"Because we already decided on Lily!"
James threw up this hands and started pacing around the room. Why couldn't they understand?
"But Lily doesn't love me! Why can't you see that I want to be married to someone who I know loves me?!"
"But James," Lady Potter said, in hopes of calming him. "Lily does love you. She might not see it right now, but she does. We've watched the two of you for years. We know."
"No mum, she doesn't!"
"James, of course she-"
He was suffocating. The walls were caving in. He was losing control again. I have to get out of here.
"I-I can't talk about this anymore!"
"James!" both of his parents yelled after him, but he didn't care. He would deal with them in the morning.
James walked the rest of the way up the stairs almost to his door, when he heard the sobbing. James stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Lily's oak door.
He starred transfixed. Lily never cried. Memories of last summer at Lily's house flooded his mind. It had been the first time he had ever seen her fall apart. It nearly tore him apart to know that right now, she was in that dark room all alone, crying her eyes out. James walked over the door and placed his hand on the knob, but he didn't turn it.
James couldn't make himself do it. It reminded him too much of last summer. James didn't think he could go through with all of it again.
He turned around and tried to push the thought of her crying out of his mind. James walked to his door and flung it
open, hoping Sirius had left that bottle of fire whiskey under his bed.