Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm still working on the whole owning-Harry Potter-thing. So far, it's a no-go…
Chapter Four: S is for Envy
"Brina! Brina! Wait up!" Sirius called after me. I stopped in the hall and waited for him to catch up to. "Hey."
"Hi Sirius," I said. We walked along in silence for a little while before he said anything.
"Are you still mad at me? Listen, I know what I did was wrong, and I'm sorry. I don't want you to be upset with me. I miss talking to you. You're the only one that understands me like James does, but doesn't make fun of me," he said, eyes wide and innocent.
How could I refuse? "It's okay Sirius. What happened with Acacia?"
"I let her go. She was eyeing up that new 6th year," he said.
"Oh. Sorry," I said.
"It's ok. Listen, I have something to ask you. Answer me honestly?" he asked me.
"What is it Sirius?" I asked him.
"If there's this girl you really like, maybe even love, what would you do? Well, in your case, a boy," Sirius queried.
"Be with them…" I said uncertainly. What was this about? That was a rather stupid question although I didn't tell him so.
"But what if they already had a boyfriend?" Sirius added.
That changed the question. "If she has a boyfriend, she obviously likes him. Let them go if they're happy," I told him. And I would know, I'd done it plenty of times for him.
"But if you really, really loved her, but it took you too long to figure it out. And now you wished you would've paid more attention to them," Sirius said.
I mulled it over, but still came to the same decision. "You have to let her be with who she chooses. Obviously she chose someone other than you, you have to accept that," I told him. I wondered who in the world he was talking about. Maybe Olivia had a new boyfriend? I would have to find out. Or maybe Acacia? And he wished he wouldn't of have let her go?
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Sirius gradually came back into my life after I had shut him out. Party because of Acacia and partly because I didn't trust myself around him now that I was with Matt.
We ended up being paired together in almost every class since Lily always went with James leaving me and Sirius alone.
"The instructions are on the board details are in your book. You have one hour!" Slughorn announced.
I tried to go about this the best way I knew, although it wasn't good enough. I was horrid at potions, Lily usually did most of the work. Except now I was paired with Sirius Black, who didn't seem too concerned at all. I spent most of the time fussing over it, and trying to help. Sirius did the work, barely even glancing at the directions. He made remarks that made me suppress my laughter more than a few times.
By the end of the hour I was wondering how I could've not talked to him for so long. He made me laugh and we had a good time. Sirius always had something to say, even if it wasn't the smartest thing or if it was at the right time. I realized how much I missed not talking to him.
It took me longer to realize this than it did for him to announce that our potion was finished. I was in shock, and he reassured me that it was right. So I trusted him and handed it in to Slughorn.
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I really didn't notice it at first. I'd be talking to Matt and Sirius would rush up to me and declare that there was an emergency and demand that I follow him immediately. I did the first time. The second time I did so with reluctance. The third time I refused. He didn't speak to me the rest of that day. Sirius really had no point in dragging me away from Matt other than just for the sake of doing it. He was acting weird, but I really couldn't put my finger on it. I was spending all my time with Matt or A'Marie, so I just thought that he felt left out.
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"Hey Bri," Lily said, sitting on the couch next to me.
"Hey Lily," I said.
"Listen, how do you feel about Sirius?" she asked me.
"What?" I replied. I was with Matt. Why was she even asking me this?
"Sirius likes you," Lily told me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
My mind reeled. "He…wait. What?" I repeated, not sure if she had just said what I thought she did.
"Sirius likes you now. He's really jealous of Matt now. I'd be careful," Lily advised.
"Are you serious?" I asked her.
"Yes, he won't stop asking me where you are and what you're doing when you're not around. He's quite annoying," Lily said with a look of distaste on her face.
"Oh no," I moaned, burying my head in my hands.
"What's wrong?" she asked me, thoroughly confused. "You liked Sirius!"
"I do," I replied.
"Then what's the problem?" she asked me.
Obviously she was too wound up in James to notice anything else lately. Either that or because of the exams coming up, all her studying had pushed me and Matt out of her head.
"Matt," I said simply.
A look of apprehension dawned on her face. "You're still going out with him? Oh no, this will not be good," she said.
"Yeah. Are you sure he likes me?"
Lily nodded.
"I've wanted him to like me for so long…and now when he does, I'm with Matt. This is so unfair! Why is he doing this to me!?" I exclaimed.
"Do you still really like Sirius?" Lily asked me.
"I don't know…but what about Matt? I really like him," I said. "It doesn't matter," I said before Lily could say anything. "I'm with Matt. That's it. End of conversation."
"Ok then," Lily said. "I just thought you might want to know."
"I do. Thanks Lily."
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I finally knew why Sirius was acting weird around me.
It was a Saturday, a Hogsmeade Saturday and I was sitting with Matt on one side of a table in the Three Broomsticks with James and Lily on the other side. We were all talking and having a good time. James had his arm around Lily's waist while Matt was more subtle and held my hand. We were talking about quidditch, and who was going to win the house cup. It was Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff. Matt blamed it on the pure amount of newbies he had on his team that they didn't do well.
"I think we'll win it with no problem," James said.
"Hufflepuff's keeper, who is it? Devmon? He's pretty good. Rarely anyone scores on him," Matt said.
The little bell over the door rang, and I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see who it was.
Sirius Black peered around the room, but once he saw me and Matt her literally turned around and shoved the girl he was with out of the door. I don't think he saw me watching him. But I did. And I have to say, I did feel bad. But why didn't he feel like he could talk to me? Even if Matt was with.
A/N: Alright, some L/J I know, but next chapter they get their scene. I promise. Cross my heart and hope not to die because I've still yet to go to the Black Clouds & Underdogs Concert!!!!
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