Anything for Love-Chapter 5
Harry got up early as usual and fed his animals and pets. He regretted pulling on the gate almost immediately. He should have used his left. His hand hurt from the strain. It throbbed again.
At seven-thirty, Marlie came in ready to change the dressing and show him what to with the potion and powder. "Wow, what did you do Harry? The swelling should have gone down by now."
"I forgot and used it to pull the gate shut after feeding the animals," said Harry. "Should have used my left but I didn't think about which hand to use since there was no pain."
"This soaks through the top layer of skin and cleans out the wound, but the swelling makes that too hard. It just doesn't work if the underlying woumd is too far from the surface like this," said Marlie holding up the powder and potion he'd taken with him. "We'll check to see if the swelling goes down by this afternoon."
"You think it'll be okay, right?" asked Harry rather nervously. "
"If I got it all the slivers out there's no problem at all, but we don't want to wait for an infection to start if I didn't," she said.
"Sounds bad," he said.
"Infections are hard to stop," said Marlie. "We don't want one in there. Do you need help today? I could send an owl to Fred or George. They'd come or you could ask Hermione," said Marlie.
Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw movement near the racks of linens in the corner. He saw Hermione putting away the sheets, pillow cases and blankets. It was a private moment worth a laugh. She insisted that she do it or she threatened that she would send every house-elf working in the laundry new clothes. They let her put laundry away. He missed her. A day without Hermione was a day without sunshine in his book.
"Harry, are you listening to me?" asked Marlie recognizing the far away look.
"Yes, ask for help, sorry." Harry looked at the profile of the girl he loved in the distance. He never realized how many curves a girl had when you looked at her from the side.
"Well, take this and put it on. It will make your hand feel better," said Marlie with a grin. She handed him the hat nurses wore.
"Yeah sure." He said absentmindedly. It had taken a second to realize what she was saying. Then looking at the soft linen nurses cap he knew he was busted. "Oh, jeez. I'd be quite a sight wearing that without the smock and dress now wouldn't I?" He handed it back to her as the redness in his face started to grow. She clipped it back in her hair looking to see what had distracted him and laughed.
"Yes you would. I should have known there was only one thing here interesting enough to you," she smiled. "Seriously, do I have your attention?"
"Completely."
He looked at his hand and realized it did look rather nasty.
"Why did you give me this yesterday?" asked Harry.
"Well, I'm not perfect either. I forgot I had until you showed up today. I must have had it in my hand to put with the notes on your chart and just spaced out," she said blushing. "Maybe I was day dreaming about George or worse…about the cute Harry Potter standing in front of me."
"You are horrible," said Harry with a laugh.
He smiled at Hermione and waved. "Hi," he said. She smiled and waved back. She set off to work again.
"Okay, Harry. Come back later this afternoon and we'll check the swelling," she said.
"Great," he said feeling rejuvenated by Hermione's smile.
Paperwork was Harry's least favorite task. He couldn't really do it either until the bandage came off because he couldn't write well. But he could read through the notes and make sure that his feed inventories and other materials were sufficient for the winter. Writing a number in the margins was possible, but not much more. He walked around the hut to the storage bins and through the little makeshift barn he'd been trying to build since spring. He really did need help finishing it. He'd like to have a real horse on the grounds-not a trained unicorn or an invisible thestral or even a hippogriff. He wanted an honest to goodness horse that he could care for. He had no idea why, but he did.
He'd managed to avoid anymore trauma to his hand and went back as Marlie ordered. Marlie coated the area with the salve after washing it. He could feel a slight warming sensation. It was like the salves Madam Pomfrey gave for aching muscles after a Quidditch match. Marlie put a piece of linen bandage on it, then wrapped it once with the rest of the bandage. It was far less bulky now than it had been.
"Nice Harry. I don't think I missed any of the splinters. The swelling will go down more and this will work better. Leave it covered until bedtime then wash your hand. And sleep with it open to the air. The bandage is there really only to keep you from rubbing your eyes with the salve on it or touching the animals with it. Put it on again tomorrow morning and just wrap some gauze around it. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon at the same time. No heavy work for at least one more day though," said Marlie. "Got it?"
"Sure but why no heavy work?" asked Harry.
"I want to see if you're accident prone or just making excuses to come here to see Hermione," she said with a smile. "You can do heavy work if it doesn't require your hands. Which if you think about it is a silly thing to say. No heavy work. Wizards heal fast when they don't re-injure themselves."
"Got you," said Harry. "Well, take care and thanks. If you see Hermione, tell her I miss her." He did. I felt weird to not even catch a glimpse of her this afternoon. He left thinking of her putting away the linens that morning. She was cute.
Harry turned his thoughts to what he could do for his part to make Saturday more exciting. He realized that maybe he needed to come up with some ideas of different places to go. That was one idea. Another, he thought was to dress in nicer clothes. He had the ribbed tee shirts and a sport coat. Maybe with some ideas from the mannequins in the men's stores he could figure out a way to use what he had. He had some muggle money but he hadn't converted any of his galleons to muggle cash for a year or more. If he took Hermione outside of the wizard world he'd have to have more.
With the smaller bandage on his hand he was able to bend his hand more. That was something he'd taken for granted. It ached when he tried to close his hand on the pencil he used instead of a quill. He found quills a pain in the outdoor environment and only had one for formal letters now. He made a list: restaurants, clothes, clubs… At the bottom, he wrote…look for things you won't think of sitting here. He laughed. That last note would only help if he looked at it while he was out.
He hadn't had much experience shopping or anything without a girl to help him find things. The girl factor in his clothes purchases was solely because he was wearing jeans with holes in them or they noticed he'd worn the same thing on consecutive dates. He was content to be simple. After all, as he'd realized two nights before, he didn't need to dress to impress for some reason.
He went to a mall where there were many varieties of shops. He looked at the ones for young people like himself and didn't think the hip-hop attire was him and it certainly wasn't for his and Hermione's straight-laced image. He wasn't a member of the British House of Lords either. He liked the style he of clothes he wore. Maybe if he just got more variety, different colors and fewer jeans, he could spice up his appearance a little.
It was nice that he didn't know his way around. He knew how to get home. All he had to do was find a secluded spot and Disapparate to the front gate of Hogwarts. That's all that mattered. He'd just walk until he saw something interesting. It was strange to be out in public without someone to talk to or who was constantly talking to him. He saw things he knew he would have missed.
There was a moment that he knew would stick in his mind. He saw a couple giggling standing at a taxi queue. They were probably a little older than Harry but they looked like they were having fun being silly. The people around them looked at them with sidelong glances, but they seemed not to care. Without warning, as if some sort of tension wire snapped between them, the woman had taken the collar of his jacket and pulled him close for a kiss. He'd softly taken the backs of her bare arms. Her leg kicked up like he'd seen in so many old movies when he'd watched them as a kid at the Dursleys. The people around them looked away in embarrassment. He hadn't heard a word, but something connected between those two people in an instant.
He thought about it as he walked past them standing now nose to nose whispering as if they were telling secrets with no regard for the rest of the world. He wanted a moment like that with Hermione--not necessarily waiting in public or anything remotely similar to this scenario at all. He wanted to look in her eyes and feel the emotion he could see radiate from the two lovers' eyes and the glow that was around them. He noticed now that people in the cue smiled at one another and glanced at them. He wondered, if like it had warmed him, the warmth of the love melted the cold hearts of those strangers.
A bookstore seemed interesting to Harry. He wondered if there were any of those self-help books for guys like him. He knew he would never sit and read one cover to cover so he looked through books that offered options for heating up dormant relationships. Non-verbal communication was mentioned many of them. The light touch of a hand to a cheek in response to a compliment seemed sweet. The offering of an arm instead of grabbing a hand while taking a walk seemed like a subtle way of inviting physical intimacy without forcing it. There were so many more ways a girl could take an arm and respond.
Along with that, body language was huge. He knew that to be true. Hermione could say something silly with a wink and he felt warm inside. It was the unspoken sexual tension they'd discussed. But instead, they'd keep talking and go right past the moment. Taking and offering physical clues instead of being chatty would change the tone. Again, he wondered. There were so few words between the man and woman he'd seen. Yet, it still didn't seem to matter how few, because what they said inspired a connectedness that was full of laughter.
He'd tried to take mental notes until his belly rumbled for food. He was hungry so he left the bookshop and kept walking until he found a row of restaurants and pubs. He stopped and ordered light meal of fish and chips. He felt adventurous so he ordered a beer-Black and Tan. He recoiled at the bitter warmth of it. He had simply followed the suggestion of the waiter. By the time he was done with his meal, he had grown accustomed to the taste of the beer and rather liked it. He paid the bill.
He decided that he'd seen some things in the men's store not to far away that he liked. He thought that the styles and colors he saw there fit nicely. They were the designer variety made of soft shiny material that had a definitely more dressed up look than he'd been used to. He also wanted to buy a wool sport coat for winter. He remembered seeing a young woman helping a guy in from a storefront window earlier. He was sure she was a sales agent since she wore the measuring tape around her neck.
"Hi, may I help you, sir?" said a salesman as he entered.
Harry felt a little embarrassed because he didn't want to stand out in this nice place. "I was hoping to have the girl salesperson. I'm sorry. I just like the way girls pick out my clothes," said Harry. He didn't like to do it because he was sure that the salesman was very good.
"Chrissy, another guy wants you to help pick out clothes," said the salesman in a hurt tone. "A cute guy I might add."
He hadn't noticed nor cared until then, but now Harry realized he didn't know how to handle openly gay men. He hadn't suspected until he'd heard the tone in the man's voice.
He was relieved that Chrissy was the girl he'd seen. "Hi, I'm Chrissy. You are?"
"Harry," he said.
"What can I show you?" she asked. She extended her hand for a friendly handshake.
He went over how he liked to dress and shared his ideas. He liked that she knew exactly what he was talking about. "You know I wish more guys would dress casual like that."
Without thinking he said, "Well, my girlfriend thinks I'm getting a little lazy in dressing up for our dates, so I thought I'd surprise her."
"Oh, what's her name?" asked Chrissy as she looked through the rack of slacks. "By the way, it's sweet that you're doing something about it. I know she'll appreciate it.
"Hermione," he said. It made him feel good to say it. And, he'd never said it before.
"That's an interesting name, Greek mythology, right?" she asked.
"You know, I never asked her or knew," he admitted.
"Oh, well. She'll like this combination on you. It brings out the color of your eyes and it doesn't look too colorful for a straight guy," she said.
Harry must have had a strange look on his face because she seemed to smile extra broadly. "Yes, most of the men who come here are gay. Robert is a very nice guy by the way and if he knew you were straight you wouldn't have needed to feel threatened."
"Oh, I had no idea when I came in. I just saw you from the window earlier and I'm used to girls helping me pick out my stuff. I hope he wasn't offended," said Harry honestly even if he'd been a little uneasy at the tone of Robert's voice.
"I'll tell Robert that," said Chrissy. "I don't think it matters much though. He's pretty cool about stuff like that. He plays it up sometimes just for fun. He rarely talks that way. I think he was having you on."
He bought one pair of designer jeans, two pairs of dress slacks, and several shirts that he'd have never thought would have been his style. He was glad that he'd brought every shilling of his muggle money because if he'd have bought a book earlier he'd have been short now.
"Harry, I'd like to meet Hermione. Any girl whose boyfriend comes here with no idea where he's going is probably pretty cool herself," said Chrissy. "My boyfriend doesn't get out of the car and come in, the prat." She smiled. "He'd better get over quick too, because I'll dump him in a heartbeat if he acts like a fool."
"I don't get it," said Harry.
"Oh, never mind. I guess you really don't get it--which in today's day and age surprises me. Take care," she said.
"Yeah, see yah," said Harry with the jacket over his shoulder with the bag tied to it. It dawned on him that she meant her boyfriend didn't approve of her working in a place where gay people were the norm. Harry just thought it was a typical human attitude toward people who weren't like themselves. He wondered if it was the same kind of discrimination he'd faced with the Death Eaters. He hoped he'd not made any indications that he was bothered. He would not have liked to be thought of as being like Chrissy's boyfriend. He shivered at the thought of prejudice even here and decided he knew where he'd shop from now on.
He got home and hung up his clothes. He'd not bothered with getting pants that needed tailoring. He worked on a farm, or it was like one anyway. He wasn't going to need that kind of fashion. Even the jacket fit him off the rack so he was happy. He'd look good on Saturday.
Later, he heard the sound of Elwin, Dianna's owl, clattering down his chimney. Of course, he didn't know it was Elwin until he saw him, but he'd expected it sometime soon.
Dear Harry,
I miss you. Why don't you write to me? I'm ashamed to act like a lost puppy with you, but I love you, you know. Being away from you this week has taught me that. But your silence scares me. I'll be back Thursday late. I'll come directly to the hut. See you then.
Love, Dianna
Harry was glad she'd be home soon. It would give him a chance to clear his mind from the awful thing he knew he needed to do. He felt sad that he'd joked about having sex with her before he dumped her. She was a sweet girl who was lucky he hadn't treated her as a sex object. She could hate him for a lot of things, but that wouldn't be one of them.
Thursday evening was a nervous one for Harry. He'd briefly mentioned it to Marlie and she told him to be firm and not be surprised if she begged him and pleaded. She'd even told him of her first boyfriend and how humiliated she'd been when she realized how pathetic she'd been. He'd been through it before, but he'd given in to the one last romp on more than one occasion and maybe that was the reason for some of the vitriolic stories that circulated about him. He realized now he probably earned more of his reputation than he wanted to admit.
He made sure that he had books and papers on the bed and that the place was more messy than usual. She wasn't a witch, so, cleaning by magic wasn't an option. If she wanted to try to seduce him, she would have clear off the bed, put up with dirty dishes, and clothes strewn on the couch. He felt bad that he'd actually created this mess on purpose. He didn't want to make her feel comfortable here at all. He didn't like what he was doing but he knew it was the right thing.
He heard the knock at his door around ten o'clock. He opened the door. He knew this was going to be harder than he'd planned but not for the same reason. Colin and Dennis were with her. "Heya, Harry," they said. Harry felt horrible because now he looked like an absolute slob.
"Hi, Sweetheart. I see you've missed me cleaning for you," she said giving him an innocent kiss on the cheek in front of her brothers.
"Geez, Harry. My apartment is messy but nothing like this squalor, mate," said Dennis.
"What happened to your hand, Harry?" asked Dianna a second later.
The injury to his hand was hard to see now, but someone who was close would notice the difference. He explained what happened and left it at that. "So, it's just now getting better."
She kissed his palm. "I hope that makes it even better," she said with a wink.
Harry's chest hurt. She was a really nice girl. It was going to be hard to say anything and this kind of thing was going to make it worse. "Let me just tidy things up a bit," she said.
Colin must have noticed something in his manner or expression. "Dianna, sometimes bachelors let things get like this because we like to rebel against that woman's touch thing," he laughed.
"Oh, don't be silly. He could die from ungodly…I don't know what in here," said Dianna. Dennis was playing with Fang near the sofa.
"Harry, can I have a word?" requested Colin as he stepped toward the door.
He stepped out to the clanging of pots and pans in his little kitchen. The three of them had arrived wearing jackets and when he stepped out he knew why. The Creeveys had brought Dianna by broomstick from the gate. It was chilly at this hour and he folded his arms because of it.
"Harry, this is awkward for me, mate. I didn't expect to find the place like this. As a matter of fact, I expected the opposite," he said.
Harry stood looking out toward the open grass between the hut and the forest only briefly turning to acknowledge Colin's comment.
"I judge from your silence that something is going on, but what I'm not sure. I suppose I might just as well get to the point," he said with a sigh. "Harry, Dennis and I know your reputation and how my sister acts with her boyfriends. Mate, I don't want to make this like pulling teeth, help me out here."
Harry knew the direction he was going but not the destination. The last thing he wanted was a scene with two legal-age wizards in front of their sister. But he had nothing to be ashamed of, so he'd start there. "Colin, I have nothing to be ashamed of with Dianna. I can't say that about a lot of other girls I've known. So, I really need you to tell me what you want to talk about."
"Huh," said Colin as though shocked but not upset by Harry's reaction. "She's not afraid to use her sexuality to trap a guy, Harry. That's why we always stay close. I think it's the all-girls school environment. If you don't grow up around the opposite sex it becomes kind of the forbidden fruit thing. Since her mother died it's been difficult. I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect to find a little love nest set up tonight. That's why I'm asking."
"I didn't send her owls for a reason, Colin. I don't want to lead her on anymore. She's young and adorable, but I couldn't do the same to her for a lot of reasons. I know you are around a lot is one." Harry sort of smirked and said, "Good job with that."
"Right, I get your point," said Colin with an anxious smile.
"I'm learning a lot about what I want and it seems that I'm realizing my feelings for Hermione more and more each time I see her. I messed up the house tonight so that it wouldn't be appealing for her to--how did you put it?" Harry tried to not say it, but put it in Colin's own words.
"Okay, I got that too. So, you were going to break up with her tonight if she'd come alone," said Colin.
"Yes, I was. I wanted to be kind, but I know how a lot of girls think they can change a guy if they can just get another chance. I was prepared to tell her to stop and just get out. I wouldn't do that unless I had to do it though," said Harry.
"You would have," said Colin. "I appreciate your honesty and I'm actually glad. I didn't like the idea of you with my sister, but I respect you and I hoped you respected me. Which, in a twisted sort of way, I think you do. I have an idea. It's a bit cruel but she'll leave."
Harry listened as it only took a minute or two to see it was the best thing. He felt sick because it was going to be a shock and probably pretty tearful.
"Hey, Di sweetie, make sure you clean up good around here," said Colin. "Harry's going to be having Hermione down for dinner Saturday night."
She stopped for a second and then kept washing the dishes. "I know you're taking the Mickey out of me Colin. It's not funny."
"I'm not, Di. I think Harry could use some help with his hand like it is," he said taking off his coat and picking up some the books on the couch. "It's hard to have a romantic dinner with a mess like this."
"You're lying. I know you don't want me and Harry to be together so you've concocted this story. Harry don't go along with this," said Dianna. She looked at Colin.
"Well, if that's true then just use magic," said Dianna.
"Scourgify," said Colin. "Have it your way. I was trying to give Harry time to explain, but now that the place is cleaned up I think we can go."
Dennis was sitting on the floor with Fang getting a good old fashioned slobbering. He couldn't figure out what was going on and seemed like he was going to laugh at a joke.
"Dennis?" said Colin motioning to his stunned brother still rubbing Fang's ears. Dennis didn't question his brother out of habit, Harry guessed.
"Er, yeah, okay," said Dennis. "See yah, Harry."
"We'll be just outside Dianna when you're done," said Colin coldly.
"I can't believe you just let my brother do your dirty work," said Dianna. "That was gutless. And, I can't believe you would have let me clean your house so you could bring Hermione down here for one of your shagging sessions."
Harry's ears burned. He knew she'd be mad but he hadn't really had time to say anything in this exchange. "Dianna, why didn't I write? I didn't even send an owl to see if you were having fun. It's not that I don't care, but I don't want to lead you on. I could have let you clean, but instead of pretending when Colin asked me how I felt, I told him the truth."
"You're lying. If I was older or a witch, you would be different with me I know," said Dianna as the tears started rolling. "Dennis warned me that you liked witches more than squibs and muggles."
"Dianna, I didn't do to you what I've done to almost every girl in every other relationship I've had. I didn't leave you feeling used. I'm sorry if you feel that I didn't give you a chance. If I had, you'd feel like I didn't care about you except for sex. And, that's not true," said Harry. "You won't hate me when you realize I didn't dump you for some stupid conquest. It's because I think I've been blind for too long and I apologize for that. You can hate me now, but you'll get it someday."
Dianna wiped the tears from her eyes and threw the dish towel at him. "Don't bet on it," she said storming out. "Colin, you're dead for doing that to me. I swear." The crying outside his door lasted for twenty minutes. He knew that he deserved to hear it. The reaction had probably played out before, but with much more anger instead of sadness. He wasn't happy, but he wasn't stupid either. Colin had done it in a way that would shut her down and hate him more than Harry for the moment. But Colin could survive it and Dianna would get over it.
The next day and Saturday were long for Harry. The only productive thing he did was get money exchanged at Gringott's. He'd said three words to Hermione all week. Well, he laughed at the thought, one word-three times. "Hi." He was putting his broomstick back in the closet from the school Quidditch practices, when an owl clattered against his window. Still sweaty, he took a towel wiped his face and went to the door.
The owl came in and sat on Hedwig's empty cage. He let Hedwig out to go to the owlery almost all the time now that he lived at Hogwarts. He was surprised to see another owl besides her carrying a message to him.
Dear Harry,
Borrowed Marlie's owl, Hedwig is Mata Hari, I know it. (I'm laughing my bum off at the thought by the way).
Anyway, send me an owl in reply. My flat eight o'clock. I'm not cooking this time so be ready to feed me. (Yum, Yum) Be imaginative now. I am. (hehe)
Get your mind out of the gutter boy.
See yah,
Love and Friendship Always,
Hermione
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