Home Sweet Home-Chapter 7
"Isn't it beautiful?" commented Hermione referring to the skyline along the Thames.
"It is. And, it's such a beautiful night too," said Harry. "This has been just a great night all the way around."
"Yeah, there were times I was afraid we were trying to hard and acting like people we're not. But together we seem to be different. Does that make sense?" inquired Hermione.
"It does I suppose. I know I feel freer to do silly things with you than with anyone else," said Harry. "I really am sorry if my sense of humor gets creepy."
"Harry, it would be really creepy if I didn't practically grow up with you." They'd found a spot to sit and got as close as they could get to stay warm. "Do you miss him?"
"Yeah, a lot. I thought of him a lot last Sunday night. It sort of made me relive that night. It was really hard. Sometimes I come to see you without an excuse when I think of him and that night," revealed Harry.
"Really? I'm surprised I didn't notice you being upset," she admitted.
"That's why I came to see you. It's the way I get through it. You calm me, even when I feel excited like now, the overall effect is calming," he said.
Her hand touched his once more in a way that Harry welcomed. He adjusted his glasses with other hand and looked off into the sky. He sighed with satisfaction.
"That was a long sigh," said Hermione. "Mind of I ask what you're thinking."
"Nothing really. I was just clearing my mind and enjoying your hand on mine," he replied.
"We aren't as far from being a couple as we think are we?" she asked.
He laughed at the thought. It was a typical guy thing to assume a relationship without asking. "I've told people you're my girlfriend already, Hermione. I suppose I should ask you to make it official. Will you see me and no one else? I don't want to see anyone else but you."
He couldn't read her expression. It was dark and she had dark eyes. She didn't look right at him for the first time all night. Surely she couldn't be thinking about it. He felt a nervous excitement growing.
"I haven't seen anyone in a long time, Harry. I really haven't wanted to at all. I've waited to hear those words…well, words similar anyway…" He noticed the tears for the first time as she giggled through them. "I was saying I wanted to hear you say that for a long time. Of course, Harry," she answered.
He wondered if guilt was the right way to explain the way he felt about her reaction. He wasn't happy that he'd been blind to her feelings for him, but it had taken a long time to see it from his perspective. He'd probably hurt her unknowingly with other girls plenty of times. How could he have not seen that?
"You know I don't deserve you," said Harry. "I've not been a very good friend if I didn't see your feelings for me."
"I learned long ago with you that you were a mystery for girls. One would like you and practically lay down in the mud for you to keep you shoes clean and you'd walk around her. Another would run away and you'd chase her. And, still another would give you whatever you wanted and you'd take it until you had enough and let her go," said Hermione.
"Wow, that's not a résumé I'm putting in my scrap book," said Harry. "I feel like a complete prat."
"You shouldn't though Harry. I saw it only because of our friendship and I understood that someone like you needed a lot of different things that one person wouldn't be able to give you until you decided what you wanted in life," said Hermione. "We needed the same kind of validation, but I didn't find physical intimacy as the answer. And, even though you chose that as a means of validation for a long time, I think you realized it wasn't really the answer."
"So, have you been intimate with someone before?" he asked. He felt a sense of anxiety for a brief second but tried to remember she was here now just as he was. That was the past, but it was important for going forward.
"At this moment, I wish I could say no," she said with a very slight note of remorse in her voice. "But the two times I have will have taught me how much I will value being with you when we are together." She looked for his reaction.
He tried not to show his anguish, because it wasn't about whether she had been with another man. It was that he knew she had counted correctly. She wasn't hiding that she had sex ten times with two guys and saying it was twice. He had been with that many girls in the last four months. It made him sick that she had to think of that about him.
"Can you forgive me for being so morally bankrupt Hermione?" asked Harry knowing now that guilt was the right feeling until he'd confessed to her.
"Exactly what am I forgiving you for?" she asked. "If you had promised me anything I'd be able to forgive, but it's not my place to judge you Harry. If I had judged you, I wouldn't be here touching you right now."
"You know I used to cringe at the thought of someone like me being with you," he admitted. "I had to think of something else fast because I was sick about it."
She started to answer. "Please let me finish," said Harry. "I wanted you to be some sort of nun or a saint or something. But I realized that I had no grounds to judge you either. I cared for you and that was that. I just didn't let myself think of it that way. Jokes were my way of passing it off."
"The second time Harry was payback and I realized you didn't even notice," said Hermione.
"Payback?" asked Harry.
"You remember a night where we met at the Three Broomsticks and each of us was approached by someone. It was like our second time out since I'd come back to Hogwarts." Hermione seemed to not like telling the story but she was anyway.
"Well, anyway, like I've said in a different way before. You've never found a pair of knickers you wouldn't like to get inside. So you kind of paired off with her and left me with this guy. He was cute and not really that aggressive but he made his intentions clear." She paused a moment.
"Well, I got kind of agitated that I was left with this guy when I wanted to be there with you. But seeing you pawing at that bimbo… Sorry for putting it that way, but you were pawing at that bimbo and obviously settling in for the kill. Stupid me. I thought. If Harry sees me snogging with another guy, he'll pay attention. When you didn't I just decided that I'd enjoy it while it was there to be had. I'd gone that far why not the rest of the way."
"That was the only time I let myself be seduced simply for pleasure with someone I just met. That would never happen again and it hasn't. I'm not complaining. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't very flattering to think the guy might have moved over to the girl next to me if I'd said no."
"If you take a moment I think you can guess who the first was by how often he comes around still asking me to marry him," she said. "I regret that I'd allowed myself to think that sweet talk was romance. I don't regret making love to him. But I regret that I didn't know why I was doing it."
Harry knew who, but when was not important. Whether it was at Hogwarts during the year of the Triwizard Tournament or after the Great War, it was a lesson to be learned. She was always smarter than him and only took two mistakes to learn the lesson. He had to make the same one over and over to learn the same thing.
There was a long silence where they just cuddled in spite of the revelations that caused their uneasiness. Harry loved her now as much as ever before, but a profession at this moment might sound like he was patronizing her or having pity that she'd not enjoyed sex as much as he had. But he wouldn't let the night end without telling her.
"Harry, do you really want me to move down to the hut with you? Or, was that just a Jagermeister moment?" she giggled.
"Yes I do. And as far as that goes, I could say it was the Jagermeister but we didn't drink that stuff until after I asked you. It was your reaction that made me feel like getting drunk," he admitted. "It wasn't what you said. It was that I felt so embarrassed that I made you say it."
"I don't remember what you mean. Oh," she said with a tone of recollection. "I wasn't to keen on your menagerie. I said something about the spiders and snakes."
"Well, that and when I said I loved you. You sort of recoiled with something like see what you've done. I never want to make you ashamed to be with me," he said sadly.
She turned to him, put her hand to his face and smiled taking moment to kiss him before answering. "Sweetheart, I wasn't embarrassed. I was downright shocked. I heard words that we'd used playing around before that moment; now they were being used in a context that meant you might really have feelings for me that I'd have to deal with. And, you were asking me to deal with them while living in your house. So if you would have offered a third shot of Jagermeister, I'd have drunk that too." She laughed.
Harry smiled. "We were a little silly on Sunday though."
"I don't think we did too badly though Harry. We were definitely off-the-wall. I give you permission to give me hell if my mouth gets bad like that again," said Hermione. "The `eff bomb' was totally unnecessary. I don't like that word much and it's kind of sad that I used it."
"I thought for the moment it was funny and maybe even appropriate, but I follow you completely. It's not the way you talk," said Harry.
"I've said stuff over the last two days we've been together that I'll be shocked I ever said," said Hermione. "Most was tongue in cheek, but I'd rather not be like that too often. We fell in love without that kind of talk and we don't really need it."
Harry thought about that for a moment. "Do you mean all of it?"
"Playing around is cool, but…" she stopped. "You know what? I want to be proper and all that but it is kind of fun to try to find a way of saying something without saying it. It's just unfamiliar territory, I guess."
"Whew, I was worried that you had second thoughts about some of the funnier parts of the night," said Harry. "You and I could be writers for Marlie's act." He laughed.
"I'll bet we could," she giggled. "Do you think we should be heading back toward the flat? It's two o'clock."
"Sure. Will you be inviting me in?" asked Harry.
"Yes, and I expect you to be on your best behavior," she said coyly. "I'm not sure this is the best idea, but we have to start somewhere."
"Meaning?" asked Harry.
"We need to learn to trust ourselves together. We said we wouldn't force the issue and we can't stay in public forever. We just have to cool it," she smiled. "Deal?"
"Yes ma'am," he said feigning a salute.
They found a little shadowy area where they wouldn't be seen and Disapparated. Harry did like her flat. Each time in it seemed like home. Not the structure, but her touch to the place. He sat on the sofa and Crookshanks jumped in his lap not five seconds later.
"Yeah, if you get any ideas, he'll scratch the hell out of you, Harry," warned Hermione so keep your thoughts clean. She stepped out of her bathroom with her hair down completely. I know you like to look at me in this dress but I don't want to sit around in it all night. It has to be cleaned differently than my other things." Her voice echoed from her partially opened door.
Crookshanks jumped down unexpectedly and scurried to a warm spot on the rug in the corner. Harry could see Hermione through the crack in the door. He almost wanted to tell her, but she must have known. He was surprised at how easily the dress came off as he watched. It was very stretchy around the middle so she stretched it and pulled it over her head. Her slip was caught in it momentarily revealing her soft legs and rounded bottom. Surely this was wrong "Hermione, I…"
The words barely escaped his mouth when something told him that she would have been mortified if he acknowledged that he could see her. He realized that she probably didn't change clothes in her flat alone with that door cracked because of the angle from the windows down the hall. This was supposed to be one of those erotic moments that he sure would stop before it got too far.
"I just want to thank you for a wonderful time," said Harry.
"Oh, well you're welcome but the night isn't over; we can still sit up and chat," she said as Harry felt the desire to just watch her.
She went out of sight for a second as Harry adjusted his position to release the strain growing in his groin. He'd always wondered how men could pay to watch a woman take her clothes off without getting sex or being touched. He felt wickedly aroused.
When she came back into view Harry knew that this was for his pleasure as well as hers. It clicked in his head that she loved HIM to watch her. Her back was bare with the straps of her brassiere dangling from the middle finger of her right hand trapped there to her ribs. The other strap was trapped there by her elbow. As her left hand picked up her nightshirt, she let her bra fall.
He wanted to touch himself but he couldn't there for the same reasons she'd have never done this without him there-the window behind him. Her breasts were more perfect than he could have imagined. The bra had pushed them up to form her cleavage but not so much as he'd thought it might have. Her nipples were pinker than he'd imagined too. Before he realized it the shirt was over her head and the vision gone. He was glad it was over.
His loins screamed for release and as he felt as if he couldn't take anymore. He did something he'd never imagined. She turned away, lifted her nightshirt and pulled her knickers down making certain that angle and distance left nothing to the imagination for one brief second. "May I use your bathroom Hermione?" he asked with only one option left. He wasn't sure if he heard a giggle but maybe he had. He moved as quickly as he could toward it still watching the door. He saw her arm go through the heavy terrycloth bathrobe. She gave a sigh.
"Sure sweetie, make your self at home," she said softly.
Harry emerged nearly ten minutes later hoping the pinkness in his face wouldn't give him away. He almost wanted acknowledgement now that she'd done it on purpose because he'd never had to ask Rosie to dance in someone else's loo. And certainly, it would never have happened in a situation where the other option would have been available with a girl so close at hand.
She had her heart-shaped lollipop in her hand licking it suggestively when he came out. "Are you still sure that coming here was such a good idea?" she giggled. "How ironic that I'd say it just that way." She beckoned him to sit next to her. "I think you're harmless now for at least a little while. You know it's kind of like after a long dance where you get winded and can't get up for another one."
"YOU ARE WICKED!" he said in a loud whisper of a voice that surprisingly didn't embarrass Hermione in the least. "And hot," he moaned.
She smiled and opened her extra large robe for him to cuddle up inside it with her. "Well, you know how I'm dressed and we still have our promise. But incidental contact is not forbidden."
The shirt covered her to just above the knee and her nipples were erect standing out in her own arousal. "This is what they mean by an erotic moment. He kissed him and forced him to lie back against the sofa pillows."
He was breathing heavy and he knew it. Was she counting the day they fell in love as before midnight and today was a new and exciting one? He was beginning to hope so. His hands roamed under the robe and found the bottom of her nightshirt. Her flesh was as warm and inviting as he'd ever know a woman's to be. He didn't dare utter a word allowing Hermione to choreograph their dance now.
He expected a hand to grab his and stop him any moment. He slowly caressed her thigh moving closer to her bum. He was getting aroused again. He knew she could feel it against her belly as he kissed him. What had been long straight road now was a soft and supple hill. Did he dare? He thought. Hermione moaned as both of his hands kneaded the flesh of her bottom. It was inevitable that the incidental contact she'd mentioned caused a moan that started in her throat and escaped into his mouth. She stopped only to say, "Does Rosy dance with girls too? Please say yes."
He hadn't expected her to be as verbal as he was. Her moans drove him mad. The soft warm and moist folds of her flesh in and around his fingers was a gift from heaven. He'd never seen her face like this. Their kisses would stop as she closed her eyes as his hand moved gently around her seeking the points that brought the most reaction. Her eyes were closed and she bit her lip. "Harry, there there." He felt the spasms in her tummy. Her back arched and her legs clamped his hand in place. A moment later she kissed him sweetly keeping his hand immobile.
"You're good at incidental contact and Rosy is a good dancer," she smiled. "I love you Harry. It's not the same as a heart-shaped lollipop but I'm not complaining." She giggled.
A soft hand began slowly undoing is belt. Her smile suggested that she wasn't finished with the surprises. She'd unbuttoned his shirt as he'd touched her during the first few seconds of their encounter as he'd fumbled his way around trying to figure out what planet he was on. She kissed his chest as he felt her hand take him softly from his resting place. "Teach me, Harry."
The next few minutes were the only time in Harry's life that his mind had stopped to totally focus on his pleasure without having to participate. The gentleness with which caressed him and kissed him raised his consciousness of the pleasure to new heights He didn't need to speak. He pulled her hair from her face allowing the reactions she felt from his body guide her. He felt her hesitation at times but she pressed on. It happened so fast she jumped a bit and giggled nervously. There was a silence where Harry didn't want to embarrass her. She recovered nicely from her surprise. "Wow, Harry, don't know what I was expecting really. Maybe a bell or a whistle of warning, I guess." They laughed.
Her self-effacing humor at what could have been a very embarrassing moment for both of them, lightened the mood but didn't completely ease the sexual tension as to what was next. She made that easier as she moved from atop him and said, "Be back in a jiff." She went to the bathroom and came back very quickly. "Chamomile, Harry?"
"Sure," he said still dazed. "Did we used to live on the planet Dumb?"
"I think so. One of the moons was "Uptight" and the other was "Prefect"." She took the tea cups down from the cupboard. "Only, it seemed they spelled the one wrong and it should have been "Perfect"." She simply kept talking nervously about everything that popped into her head.
He had no idea what she was saying and he guessed she didn't really either. He'd dressed to the point where his shirt was open only to the fourth button. "I hope you didn't expect that I'd let you pleasure me without returning the good deed. No one should have to dance with Rosy when other girls are present." Hermione handed him his cup of tea and slid in closely next to him.
"Harry, I'm sorry I was so nervous," she said. "If you hadn't guessed I wasn't exactly the most experienced person you've been with."
He didn't want to sound disingenuous, but how could he tell her no one had ever aroused him twice so quickly. "Hermione how do you tell someone you love that they're incredibly sexy without emphasizing the sexy part? You are…" He didn't know what to say. He started but he couldn't think of which of the words he wanted to use. He decided to complete the original thought "an incredible woman." He kissed her forehead.
"Come to bed with me, Harry," she said suddenly. "Or I'll put on my coat and go with you. No sex. I just want to have you with me for one whole night."
She sprung up and took his hand. "Come on. I proved that I don't bite." She giggled again.
He laughed and set his tea on the table as they passed it. "I don't have a tooth brush or pajamas or anything, Hermione."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot." She came back a second later with a set of new freshly laundered men's pajamas, a tooth brush, and a matching robe all neatly stacked in a shopping bag.
"By the way, at least that much had to happen tonight or I would have had to have broken my partial vow of celibacy with the toys I bought," she said holding up things he'd never ever in a million years dreamed he see in her hands. And they were being shown off like trophies. "Turns out they're not better than the real thing."
He couldn't stop shaking his head. The pajamas were comfortable and the tooth brush was a symbol in his world of debauchery that this would happen again sometime. But this time it was the last time he had to think of such things. This was the one where it all ended. He felt powerless in her spell. She was so different than what he was used to his heart ached. For, he thought, the fifth or sixth time tonight that he'd never seen what a wonderful life he could have been living. And for once, it was less about the sex than it was about wanting to see her and listen to her babble aimlessly again. He wanted most of the women he'd had to shut up. He shrugged that thought off. That was the past.
The lights in the rest of the house were going off. The curtain was drawn. He hadn't realized that part of the excitement was that they were just six inches under the picture window pleasing each other in near public view. A moment later he saw her again and she was a little flushed. "I only messed up one thing."
"And, that was?" he asked. "I'm not complaining."
"Well, the curtain was open. My bare bum was showing to the world," she said laughing now realizing that there was nothing do now but remember it in the future. "I will die if anyone says anything. If they say something to you, please don't tell me. I'm too young to die of embarrassment."
He laughed and slid into the full-size bed. "I'm upset," he teased. "You did everything but buy a King-size bed."
"You remember that when you go to the complaint department Monday morning with a cast on your pecker," she said. "I'll…" She stopped with a giggle and kissed him.
He felt good with a woman for the first time in a long time. It hadn't always been one-night stands or girls who had no self-esteem and were willing to do anything to have a guy. But those moments never compared with this. He curled up with her in a spoon. "Hermione, not now, but soon I'll have a question for you again. It's about coming to live with me."
"Oh, so long as you're not asking now," she giggled. "I should think I've answered it."
"I suppose you have," he smiled thinking "Good." That wasn't the question. But if she wanted to think that that was all it was, then the surprise would still be there later--when he asked the other question that he'd never thought he'd ask. It had always made him shiver to think of asking it before, but not now. "If we have kids, what color do you think their hair will be?" he said wanting to drop hints in a subtle manner.
"They'll be zebras, Harry-black and blonde," she said giggling. "I'm going to try and sleep. Please keep little Harry quiet. If he wakes up will you rock him back to sleep? Don't' make me get up to do it."
Harry wondered if that comment was a joke or the half-asleep comment of a future mother slipping into a dream. He smiled at the thought that it could be a dream, but knowing she was wonderfully playful.
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