CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
A/N - Hope you enjoyed the last chapter. I wanted to spend a little time on exposition, to re-establish where the Trio are in relation to their quest for the Horcruxes, and also for another bit of developing the underlying tension between Harry and Hermione. What kind of pressures can make them finally break out their true feelings? Read on…
The next few days were spent mostly in the library by the Trio, during which a couple of interesting developments had arisen. A new arrival at Hogwarts was confirmed by Professor McGonagall over breakfast one morning as the new Potions master; Carlos Grissom, an American wizard that had transferred from the Salem Institute in Massachusetts. Sarah Campbell, who had returned to Hogwarts for a few days to finish off her studies into Hogwarts, told them that he was a good guy and an excellent teacher. That somehow made Harry laugh; the thought of a Potions master you could like. He stood at about 5'10", with short, curly black hair and stubble, and was dressed that morning as a Muggle in beige jeans and a black button-up shirt. Apparently, that was the style in America. Professor Slughorn had accepted a sideways transfer to Defence Against the Dark Arts, and head of Slytherin.
In other, slightly more joyous news, Ron had finally asked Luna out. Harry could only imagine how that had played out, considering Ron's inept nature around girls, and Luna's inept nature around life in general. Still, a trip to Hogsmeade and then a night in the Astronomy Tower had seemed to do the trick, and they happily strolled around the castle hand-in-hand whenever they were together. Harry had never seen Ron look so consistently happy. Hermione had been oddly quiet on the subject, but gave Ron her support and best wishes in a way that told Harry she meant it.
Luna had come to sit with them a few times, on-and-off. While Harry would have thought she might have been a distraction, in reality she was a welcome relief around the library table. Her abstract and curious nature gave them new ideas on old theories, and her unique sense of humour provided several moments of much-needed brevity. Harry felt as if the Trio was becoming a quartet; as strange as it felt at first, he felt that could be a change for the better. Ron and Hermione argued a lot less these days; Harry would have been lying to himself if he hadn't noticed the ongoing, underlying tension between his two best friends, but that seemed to have changed recently. Harry wondered what else had happened while he was comatose…
No real progress was made there in the library, but that didn't seem to get Harry down. He had a feeling that everything was beginning to come together, and that the next real breakthrough was right around the corner. Not that the Ministry had been much help; ever since David Adams had been revived and reassigned they had fallen oddly quiet. Not even Mad-Eye or Kingsley were answering by owl or fireplace. Harry assumed that their reasons for this were good, but would have liked to know more about what was going on. Whereas before he would have been running up the walls in anger over this, today he felt pretty calm about the whole thing. He had no doubt that he had changed over the course of this summer; Dumbledore had probably figured that he would.
"So, I guess we're striking out on magical artefacts?" Ron asked after about two hours of perusing through old textbooks on the subject.
Hermione nodded, a hand propping up her head above the table. She was more tired than she was frustrated.
"Maybe we should look at something else, then." Ron suggested.
"Like…?" Hermione asked, looking up at him.
There was a collective pause for thought.
"Does anyone else think goblins are planning to start their own Quidditch league?" Luna asked.
They all stared at her; even Ron.
* * * * *
Not much more progress was made after that, and the quartet splintered off. Luna had dragged Ron away to the lake to try and prove the existence of…or maybe they just wanted to snog for a bit; she was still a girl with needs after all, Harry had thought as he left the Great Hall after a quick snack.
Harry spent the afternoon with Hagrid, chopping some firewood next to his hut. It felt good, the release that some manual labour brought. He was able to exercise out his tensions, and take out his frustration on the wood. Being able to talk to Hagrid was always a kind of release for Harry as well; his down-to-earth nature and relentless sense of optimism were certainly welcome. After a good three hours of tiring work he had tea with Hagrid in his hut, and for the first time in days he found himself able to speak his mind at length without embarrassment. He filled Hagrid in on everything, even though Dumbledore had asked Harry to keep the Horcruxes to himself, Ron and Hermione. But by now the Aurors, as well as Professor McGonagall at the very least, were in the know. So far, that had been of benefit.
"So," Hagrid had asked, filling Harry's giant teacup once more, "what d'yeh reckon yer gonna do after all this is done?"
Harry shrugged, "To be honest, I haven't really thought about that."
"Yeh should." Hagrid said.
"Well," Harry said, thinking, "I wouldn't mind coming back here, see if I can get through a school year without Voldemort hanging over me like a dark cloud."
Hagrid chuckled at that.
"What about you?" Harry asked.
"This is me home," Hagrid said simply, glancing around his house, "Dumbledore gave me this job and this life. It's all I know, an' all l wanna know really. I'll be `ere `til the next Headmaster says otherwise."
Harry smiled, "I wish I could be that content."
Hagrid waved that thought away, "Nah, yeh young, ain't ya? Yeh got all yer hopes and dreams ahead of yeh yet."
"I can't help feeling I'm going to end up an Auror," Harry said, "See…all this, chasing Voldemort and whatever else, this has become my life…I just feel like, if I leave Hogwarts and take up anything else, it's going to feel like I'm treading water, waiting for the next wave of Dark magic to come after me."
Hagrid's large eyes watched Harry's carefully as he said that, and he sat back in his giant armchair, "Well, if yeh did, I couldn' think of anyone I'd rather `ave tracking `em down." He said, with an encouraging smile.
"Still, one thing at a time," Harry said.
"Yeh'll do it Harry," Hagrid said, "I know yeh will. When you take `im down, we're all gonna be right there with yeh."
Harry smiled, "Thanks Hagrid."
It was dark outside when Harry left, and when he considered that it was now the height of summer, that told him that it was very late indeed. He made his way back towards the castle and the Gryffindor common room, taking a little extra time to look around at his surroundings. A lot of the time, he was too wrapped up in his own concerns to notice the understated beauty of the Hogswarts grounds. It had a tranquillity about it when there weren't hundreds of students about, one of those things that Harry regretted only noticing now, possibly in the last days of his life.
Harry entered the common room through the Fat Lady's portrait quietly. He looked around; no one was…wait. Hermione was curled up on one of the sofas to the side, reading a book with the aid of a single flickering candle on the end table next to her. Grinning to himself slightly, Harry snuck up behind her as quietly as he could. Whatever Hermione was reading, she was engrossed in it.
Harry slapped his hand gently on her shoulder, "What'cha reading?"
Hermione jumped, accidentally dropping her book to the floor. Instead of chastising Harry, she immediately jumped off the sofa to try and pick it up. But an inquisitive Harry was quicker, and scooped the book up with his Seeker reflexes.
"Harry, give that back!" Hermione said, flustered, but Harry had already read the title on the front cover; it was a Muggle romance novel.
Embarrassed, Harry returned the book, "Sorry," he muttered.
Hermione took the book and looked away, suddenly aware of how close she was standing to him, "It's okay."
She turned to walk away towards the girl's dorm, but Harry's words stopped her, "Is there anything you wanna talk about?"
Hermione turned back to him. Every impulse in her body screamed for her not to, but she couldn't help but form the words, "It's…well, it's just a bit of escapism, isn't it?"
Harry shrugged, "Yeah, I guess…"
So…is she looking for a bit of romance, then? Well…isn't that good?
He nodded at it, "Good book?"
Hermione shrugged her eyebrows noncommittally, "It's okay."
The silence that followed was tenser than anything Harry could remember.
"So…" He said after about half a minute, "have you been…you know, thinking about that kind of thing?"
Hermione sighed, "Well, I am a girl, Harry."
Despite himself, Harry grinned, "Yeah, I know."
Hermione moved back over to the sofa and sat down. Harry guessed she wanted to talk some more, so he joined her. He hated to think it, but the longer she wanted to talk about…that, the more of a chance he might have to…yeah, I've got no idea what I'm doing here.
When they were settled, Hermione hugged a cushion to herself along the sofa from Harry, who was perched at the other end, "You know…I've never really had a boyfriend before."
Harry said nothing, silently willing her to continue.
"Not even that thing with Krum…despite what Ron would tell you…even came close. At my primary school, I was…well, your classic bookworm…the one that the other kids would only talk to if they needed help with their homework."
Harry just watched her, noticing her eyes begin to glaze over a little.
"And since I've been here, even after helping you and Ron all these years…that hasn't really changed, has it? I'm still plain old Hermione…the bookworm."
Harry edged a little closer to her on the sofa as she wiped a tear away from her eye, "Hey, come on…that's not all you are."
"Oh face it Harry," She said quietly, almost mournfully, "After you've killed Voldemort, you'll go on and do anything you want and be with anyone you want…and now Ron's got Luna…and me, I've got…"
She sniffed, wiping away a couple more tears. Harry moved closer and put his arm around her shoulders, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. He drew in the smell of her hair, and her warmth.
"You've still got me," Harry said reassuringly.
"Not for much longer," Hermione said sadly, her breath hitting his neck, "you'll be able to have any girl you want after all this is over."
"I don't want just any girl," Harry said quietly.
"I'm sure there's plenty of nice ones out there."
"There's a really nice one right here," Harry said.
He could see the corners of Hermione's mouth curl up, and she wrapped her arm around his waist, "You're sweet Harry, but…I know what's going to happen."
"Oh yeah?" Harry challenged.
"I wouldn't know what to do," Hermione said, "If I can't get the answer out of a book, I just fall to pieces."
"I'd have no clue either, Hermione," Harry said, "That's why I've always relied on you."
Hermione craned her head up to smile at him, "Really?"
"Yeah," Harry smiled back, "without you I'd be a goner."
Hermione tucked her head under his, bringing her legs up onto the sofa. Harry did the same, tucking his under hers. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, and never had he felt so content.
"Do you think we could just…sit like this for a while?" Hermione asked.
Harry smiled, "Sure."
She felt so good wrapped up in him like that, so delicate and warm. Harry began stroking her hair without really thinking about it; it was amazing how natural it felt to him. He was loving this feeling, and was aware of certain biological indications of this and it's proximity to Hermione, but she didn't seem to mind.
After about a minute of comfortable silence this time, Harry spoke, "So…I guess we're both in the same hole, then."
Hermione smiled to herself, "Yeah."
Harry tried to keep all signs of blatant hopefulness out of his voice, "…We could just marry each other, I guess."
Hermione giggled; he'd never heard her do that before.
Harry smiled, "Well, it'd save all the pain and suffering."
Hermione shifted, turning over so that she was facing up, keeping Harry's arms wrapped around her torso as his upper body was propped up against the arm of the sofa, her resting back against him.
"I wonder how that would work," Hermione said teasingly.
"I wouldn't be that bad, would I?" Harry asked jokingly.
"No," Hermione said, shaking her hair slightly, "you'd be fine."
"Just fine?"
Hermione laughed, swatting Harry's arm gently, "As long as you'd do what I want."
"Like?"
Hermione smiled deeply to herself; oh my God, this is not happening! She decided then to have a little fun with him, if he was trying so hard to cheer her up.
"Well," Hermione said, "you'd have to give me a hug whenever I want one."
"Okay, well I'm pretty good at that already," Harry pointed out.
"Fine," she continued, "if I've had a bad day at work, you'd have to hold me and listen to me moaning."
"I'm doing that right now," Harry said smiling, getting another swat on the arm from Hermione.
"You'd have to give me a couple of adorable little children," Hermione said playfully.
Harry felt his lower extremities tingle further; oh, don't give me ideas…
"Well, if I have to…" Harry said, pretending to sound begrudging.
"Let me think," Hermione continued, "obviously, you'd have to say that you love me…"
…Is that a hint to say it? Now? Harry's insides were debating desperately, "Uh huh…"
"And…" Hermione said, craning her face around to smile at his, "you'd have to kiss me."
Harry smiled back, trying to keep his internal struggle off his face. He so wanted to; in the flickering candlelight, she had never looked so beautiful.
"But," Hermione said, her smile fading slightly, "only if you loved me, obviously."
Do it, do it, do it…screw it.
Harry's grin faded away, "…Who says I don't?"
Hermione's smile faded away as well. Her eyes widened, locked onto his.
"Yeah, but…only as a friend…right?"
Harry, his eyes locked back on hers, slowly shook his head.
Hermione let out a gasp, and her eyes began to glaze over once more.
Slowly, irresistibly, Harry began to lower his face to hers, as she craned hers up to meet his…
The Fat Lady's portrait swung open with a loud bang, shaking them both out of their…thing.
Ron burst in, breathing heavily. He found them with his wide eyes, "We've found Snape!"
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