[.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.]
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and neither does anyone else on this bloody site. We all just find it amusing to make up stories about the fascinating characters JKR and others have created for our pleasure. Have a good day.
[.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.]
Only Slightly Nauseating
By: Eternal Love LJ
Chapter: 1
Title: The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread
POV: James
Word Count: 2181
[.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.]
The train rattled its way towards Hogwarts as I was happily staring at a wonderful little Lily Evans give a speech to the Prefects. She kept sending me worried glances that clearly were asking whether I was feeling all right and maybe if I had forgotten to take my medication this morning.
Oh, don't worry about that, Evans. I have a fever, and the only prescription is you!
"And, I have a list of the passwords right here, and make sure you remember them . . . you guys are Prefects for a reason. And fifth year Prefects are the ones that show the first years to the common rooms, remember!" Lily said, handing around the password sheet.
The Prefects started talking amongst themselves and I took the opportunity to start an enriching conversation with Lily.
"So, Evans, looking forward to a year of me?" I asked. "Now you can't get rid of me! This is like, the best thing since sliced bread."
Lily rolled her eyes and took a sip of her water. "Actually, I'm not looking forward to spending a good portion of my time with you. I know, shocking."
I just kept smiling at her. "You know you love me. You know you want me to give you the sperm to your babies, and you know that I'm a sex God."
Lily couldn't help but smile for a second and she turned to me. "You're head is the size of Kansas. Calm down, buddy."
My smile went up to my ears and I said, "I'm your buddy!"
Lily sighed and told the Prefects that that was all, and they were able to leave if they wanted, but we were still here for questions.
One of the Slytherins came up to us while all of the Prefects were still in the room and asked very loudly, "Are you sure that Dumbledore isn't on Floo Powder?"
Lily gave him a weird look and said, "No, I'm not, but why?"
"Because he made Potter Head Boy."
He nudged his friend in the ribs and they chuckled for a moment. I gave them a scowl and told them they were next. They were running out of the room for their lives. (Or not . . .)
None of the other Prefects had any questions, so Lily and I were able to leave the compartment and join out friends in the back of the train. Lily was very disappointed in her friends for choosing to sit in the Marauder's compartment.
"Welcome!" Sirius said as we opened the door. "You missed the trolley."
"Damn," I said, stealing one of Remus's Chocolate Frogs. "This Head Boy stuff is a piece of cake. It'll be a synch compared to Quidditch."
"I wouldn't say that," Remus commented. "It actually gets pretty hard. Since you're Head Boy, you have to make all of the decisions like Hogsmeade and if the school is ever attacked, which looks pretty likely this year, you have to be there to help Dumbledore 24/7, not to mention your nightly patrols. Prefects only have patrol about twice a week . . . you get it every night. And you have the responsibility on your shoulders to do well in school, you know all of the younger kids look up to you. I'm not saying that you can't deal with it, I'm just saying you shouldn't expect this to be a walk over a rainbow."
Sirius snorted and repeated, "'A walk over a rainbow.' Classic one, Moony."
"Thank you," Remus said proudly.
The five girls on the other side of the room, Lily, Menelopy (El) Paramore, Juniper Eustis, Emberlynn Scarafone, and Hilaire Ruark (the only on the group not a Gryffindor, she is a Ravenclaw), were all sitting and talking contently until Sirius made the leap of his life over to them. He landed on Juniper's lap with his head on El's shoulder. He kicked Peter in the process and sent his right shoe flying into the air, hitting Moony's book.
I started to laugh as the girls exploded into protest.
"What the hell, Black! You almost knocked my eye out!" El shouted.
"You're like a freaking boulder! Jesus, how much do you weigh?" Juniper asked, trying to push the tub of lard off her legs. (Well, he really isn't fat, but he sure is bigger than Juniper.)
Emberlynn fell on the floor, dying of laughter. She snorted at least three times by now and couldn't breathe. "Merlin, Black, you're going to kill me!"
The door to the compartment opened the in walked Severus Snape with some of his cronies behind him. He surveyed the situation and his united eyebrows rose in horror. "I see that-"
"You're just arse, Snape!" Sirius shouted, standing up before Snape could even comprehend what he had said. "You are the tissue to my nose! The scum on my shoe and you're the T on my O.W.L.s! Leave!"
"You guys are going to get yourselves killed," Snape said. "I guarantee it." He walked out, his 'friends' following him and he slammed the compartment door closed after him.
"There," said Sirius. "And that's how you take care of a Snivellus."
"You guys are so immature," Lily said. "Would you just stop?"
Sirius turned and looked at my girl. "I love you, Lily. But you hurt me. You can't stop me from practicing my calling in life (which is Snivellus hunting)."
Lily shook her head and looked out the window.
This will be a long train ride, I thought.
[.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.]
As the train pulled into the station, we all hopped up and began unloading our luggage from the racks.
"May I carry your bags, Head Girl?" I asked Lily.
"Absolutely not. That would mean that I trust you with my personal things. Which I do not."
I reminded her once again that she was going to have to deal with me all year and I think she shivered . . . but it was probably out of anticipation, not out of fear. Right?
Dropping our luggage off at the pile, we began looking for some carriages. El went up to one of the thestrals and started petting it.
"El, stop," Hilaire said from inside the carriage. "That's really weird when you do that."
El smiled and walked into the carriage, which also had Juniper, Emberlynn, and Remus.
Lily nodded to the five in the carriage and said, "Sure. I see how it is. I see . . . you're trying to kill me, aren't you? Well, I guess I'll just have to go to Black and Potter and Pettigrew."
"I guess you will," Emberlynn said, smiling as she closed the carriage door.
Lily stood, staring at the closed door, her jaw dropped. She stomped her foot on the ground and turned to face the three beaming boys.
"Shut up," she said, climbing into one of the vacant carriages.
"I wish I had friends as great as yours, Lily," Sirius said.
Lily sat there, her arms crossed, sitting as far away from Peter as she could in the seat, staring out of the little window provided.
I smiled and tapped my foot slightly on hers. She looked at me for a moment but didn't respond. I kicked her a little harder and she sent me one of her Death Glares. I winced a little and then did it again.
She turned to face me fully and kicked my shin really hard. She huffed and went back to the window.
"Ow," I said, rubbing my shin through my robes. I bit my lip and could hear Sirius chuckling next to me.
The torches glowing through the windows in the medieval-looking castle cast a romantic sparkle on the lake as we passed. I wanted to take Lily's hand, but then my shin gave a particularly painful throb, and I decided against it.
As the carriages stopped at the entrance to the school, Lily was the first one out and ran as fast as she could to try to find someone she could stand. She settled for walking with Cherohess (Hessy) Narayanan (don't even ask me how to pronounce that) and Carrie-Lee (Carrie) Alves from Ravenclaw.
"This is the year, Prongs," Sirius said, putting his arm around my shoulder and patting me confidently. "You have her wrapped around your finger."
"You think?" I asked.
"Of course!" Sirius said very sarcastically. He let me go and laughed his way up the steps. Peter caught up with me and we walked to the front doors, almost getting trampled by the crowd.
Peeves was there to greet everyone at the door. And, if you were really lucky, you got a food stamp, which in the language of Peeves is a smack on the forehead.
"I just don't know what to do, Wormtail," I said as we walked into the Great Hall. "I mean, I really like Lily and all, but maybe she's just . . . too stubborn. Maybe she's not worth all of the wait. I wish that she would just let me talk to her for, you know, a couple of minutes without her biting my head off."
Peter nodded and said, "You know, Prongs, this really might be your year, though. You're going to be spending a lot of alone time with her, and she has to do it, unless she wants to lose her position. Which we all know she would never want to do. She might not like you right now, but you're a pretty cool guy. I've known you since first year and I think that you and Lily would work out of you two hooked up. Just don't be so straight forward with her, you know?"
I nodded and punched Peter in the arm. "Thanks, Wormtail."
"Anytime, Prongs," he smiled.
We took a seat across from Sirius and Remus in our usual section of the table. The Hall was so loud that we couldn't even hear each other if we talked normally, so we just sat there and played Patty-Cake until Dumbledore hushed us.
"I would like silence for the Sorting, please," he said, smiling down at the students.
As the years go on, the Sorting seems to take longer, and longer, and longer. Sometimes I'll imagine that it was me up there getting sorted, and I'll try to remember how nervous I was, but it's getting harder and harder every year because Hogwarts is such my home now, I can't ever imagine feeling nervous about just entering it.
As the last student was sorted into Hufflepuff, Dumbledore stood up once more and made a short announcement. "I'll save the big speech for after the dinner, but I do have a very big announcement to make this year." His eyes were twinkling very brightly.
"TRIWIZARD!" Sirius shouted.
Dumbledore chuckled and said, "No, Mr. Black, I'm almost certain that the Triwizard Tournament has been discontinued."
"Aww," Sirius said, sticking how tongue out at Dumbledore.
"Tuck in!" he said, waving his hand over the hall, sending food into all of the plates.
"Merlin, I'm ravenous!" Sirius said, taking the whole bowl of chicken and eating. He took the potatoes and threw a couple of spoonfuls into the bowl and added a little corn plus half of the saltshaker. "Damn, this is what I call food."
We were all watching his with disgust. "Prongs," Remus asked, "What did you feed him over the summer?"
"Food," I replied, wincing as Sirius spilt some of his pumpkin juice into the bowl.
"I think I'll stick with the rolls," said Peter, taking the basket.
"Hey, you're going to share that!" Remus said, taking a couple.
"I'll be right back," I said, swinging my feet over the bench and walking down to where Lily and her Gryffindor friends were sitting. "My dearest, loveliest, most beautifulest lady in the whole wide world, may I have some of your chicken?"
Lily and her friends looked up at me. Lily replied, "Why don't you just eat your own chicken?"
I pointed down the table at Sirius and they all saw his devouring the bowl of chicken/potatoes/salt/rolls/pumpkin juice/corn and Lily quickly handed me her bowl of chicken.
"Just give it back before Sirius sees it, please," she said,
"Sure thing, doll face," I winked as I walked back to my seat.
After all of the food, desert and main course, was consumed, Dumbledore stood up once again. "I'll start off saying welcome, all new students, and welcome back, all old timers. I'm sure that this year will be a great one." He smiled and continued. "I would like to ask everyone, each and every one of you, to please consider what is happening out on the wizarding and muggle world this year. As we all know, Voldemort is at his highest point yet, and we all need to unite and fight against him.
"Now, on a happier and lighter note, Filch would like me to point out the list of objects not allowed in the school, or on the grounds. He has added a couple over the summer and they are very vital." Dumbledore coughed a little, signaling he was being sarcastic.
"Now, the big news . . ."
[.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.]
A/N: CLIFFY! No, really, though. This is a good idea. I don't think I've seen this done anywhere else, and I've been thinking about doing this for a long time. I really hope that I don't disappoint you, and I don't think that I will!
R/R!
[.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.] [.-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --.]
-->