Unofficial Portkey Archive

Caught in the Past by hhragent27

Caught in the Past


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. does, and she has every right to do whatever she thinks is best for Harry Potter. I just love writing. So sue me. Wait, seriously… don't.


Harry James Potter was no ordinary lad.

His past was a blank mystery; his present, a nameless story.

He was an urchin of no breeding and no family, and many claimed he was nobody.

He had wandered without a thought ever since he was an innocent lad of sixteen. As to where he had been, nobody knew. But it can still be said that wherever he had traveled, words of his visit had spread across the country.

He had remained nameless all throughout his life, but even in his anonymity, he was still claimed by his destiny.

This young man of 20 summers was not "nobody" after all. He was more than what he thought he could be.

For he possessed a title of great significance, worth more than anything known to humanity.


"Lord Black, has come to pay you a visit, Your Grace."

The young man didn't even look up from what he was reading.

`No surprises there,' Charles Hudson, the resident butler of Godric's Hollow, thought.

"Show him in," Harry Potter said after a while.

"Right away, sir," Hudson nodded.

"I'll be leaving for the Weasley's Masquerade Ball at dawn. Have my valet put together something for me before then."

"Very good, sir. I'll advise Atkins right away." When his attendee didn't say anything after that, Hudson asked, "Would that be all, Your Grace?"


Hudson bowed, and then turned around, noting the heavy draperies around the room before finally making his way out.

He sighed.

Even after 5 years of service, Harry Potter's lack of human feelings, aside from boredom and contempt, was still odd, but no longer surprising.

For some time, Hudson had given it a thought why Harry James Potter seemed different from the rest of the nobility. But in the end, he could not find any other answer that would suffice except that the young duke was just who he was.

A 25 year-old orphan and the 9th Duke of Godric's Hollow…

Young as he was, though, there was something in his eyes that told there was more to Harry than what one actually saw.

It had been his first day as the butler when Hudson first laid eyes on him.

He had been all prepared to meet his employer, only to find out that there was no one yet for him to meet. But when Harry did walk in a few hours later, Hudson was had been in for a shock.

Dressed in those awful street clothes that would have made all the street rats proud, Harry's manners had been brusque and his speech unscrupulous. It was almost a given that Hudson had taken a dislike at him instantly.

But, believe it or not, his animosity vanished.

All because he found out quite a bit later that Harry had a very reasonably excuse.

The young boy had no idea that he was the lord of the manor, or the Duke of the entire Gryffindor estate, for that matter.

When Sirius Black told him who he really was, his staggered expression confirmed what Hudson had surmised already.

Kept in the shadows his entire life, Harry James Potter had no idea how to go about being the most powerful man in the estate. From a young urchin who barely had enough food to eat or a home to stay in, he was moved to a place where everybody suddenly revered him, wherein very decision he made was what should be followed.

It had not been an easy period, his transition. But his innocence was diminished through Sirius and Remus' guidance.

For a year, they kept him at their side, teaching him what should be done and how they should be done. Before long, Harry's wealth multiplied, and he steadily revived the estate.

After 5 years of brilliant and conscientious work, he had managed to extend his lands and properties to massive heights, bought two more houses, hired more employees and purchased the best horses from Tattersalls to raise and breed.

His massive good looks, title and wealth were exactly what society desired to consider him the most eligible bachelor in London.

And that they did!

Never had there been a bachelor more celebrated than he.

He was constantly invited to all the soirees you could think of, admired by the ladies, and awed by gentlemen. One would say that he could ask for nothing more, after being given everything that had been his all along since birth.

But even after all his accomplishments; Harry Potter's life was not how he wanted it to be.

He barely had friends visiting. There were those who pay him social calls, but it was either they had underlying motives, or they were just not whom he needed.

The only people who seemed to care about him were his godfather and his family, but they were often out of town.

The closest thing he ever had to a female companion was his maids.

And everything from his attire down to the curtains in his home reeked of misery.

Though, Hudson didn't possess the real reason for Harry's disposition, he was convinced it had something to do with the broken and missing pieces of the young lad's past.

Somehow, he knew that everything would be all right when Harry Potter was whole again.

But that would only happen if he found someone to put him back together.

And right now, Hudson was not so certain that the Duke of Godric's Hollow wanted to love.

Or, if he did, perhaps he believed he had no right.


Inside his office, Harry rested his head on his hands, bored and weary as he had been all day.

Aside from his exhaustion from having to solve a haulage that had gone awry with one of his ships, one of his servants had fallen sick and the doctor had said it was only a mild case, not alarming, although slightly contagious.

The last thing he wanted was to have an epidemic spread in his entire estate, so he had to isolate her from the rest of his staff.

The depressing thing was, he couldn't sleep on his problems. Even if the Weasley's Masquerade Ball was the last thing he wanted to appear in, he couldn't miss it.

The Weasley's were a longtime family friend of his, and he would be quite the austere person Sirius was telling him he was turning out to be if he didn't come.

It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect the domineering mamas of the ton to recognize him even with a costume on and try to pawn their daughters his way all evening.

Turning down hearts was not a favorite pastime, but it seemed it was all he did lately. And that was the last thing he wanted to end the night doing.

The door burst open.

"What do you want?" Harry asked gruffly, pushing back his chair.

Sirius approached his godson with a semi-plastered smile on his face.

"How have you been this past few months?"

"The same."

Noting the broadsheet lying passive on the edge of his desk, Sirius sat down. "I wouldn't consider succeeding in a business merger as just `the same', my boy."

"I would."

"That's not what I heard." A pause and a knowing look came upon Sirius' face. He looked more amused than annoyed with his godson's responses. "Surely, the ton has heard about it. And are now more than eager to remove you in next year's marriage market?"

"So what else is new?"

"But you do know that the longer you evade them, the more they become fervent to go after you"

"Yes, but there's nothing I can do."

"Unless there is already a woman in your mind. That would diminish their hopes."

"As of this moment, the only woman in my mind is Grace."

"Grace?" Sirius asked, his eyes brightening.

"Don't get so excited, Sirius. She's my maid," he clarified. "My very sick maid."

"Oh," his godfather suddenly lost his energy and slumped back.

"She has some kind of virus. And now, I have to deal with that if it starts spreading throughout the goddamn place," Harry explained absentmindedly, toying with the tons of paperwork on top of his desk.

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Did what?"

"Throw in the name so I would get excited about you actually thinking about a woman."

"No, I didn't."

"And I suppose that your stalling after saying `Grace' was just…you."

"You're reading too much on that, Sirius," Harry sighed, knowing all too well what would next.

"I don't understand you," Sirius idly tapped his hand with his glove as he searched Harry's face. After awhile, he muttered. "You're…inexplicable."

"I am not."

"And why is that?"

"I'm quite predictable."

Sirius scoffed. "How can you be when I can't even explain your behavior?"

"Are you a psychologist?"


"Even if you were, you wouldn't last a day. If I were your patient, I'd rather kill myself before I let you get in my head."

"Hilarious," Sirius muttered. "If only I can see what's going on in that stubborn head of yours, then maybe I wouldn't worry myself over you most of the time."

"A hopeless psychic, then?"



"I'm warning you..."

"If you want to look like you really mean to carry out a threat, you shouldn't look amused."

Tired of playing verbal chess with his godfather, Harry shoved himself away from his desk and stood up. "Look, Sirius. I am not in the perfect state for idle chitchat. I'll be leaving in a couple of hours."

"Where are you going? If you're so tired, why leave?"

"The Weasleys will have a masquerade ball. I'm sure you got invited to that one as well."

Sirius looked thoughtful. It had been a long while since he actually went to a ball. It had been too long as well since he had read any invitation sent to him.

"Perhaps. But Alicia insists on staying at home and I have no complaints," Sirius said.

"I can't see why you can't go alone. It's not at all out of the ordinary," Harry said.

"I'm rather fond of being special. Anyway, Luna's at home with Ronald." Sirius said, referring to his adopted daughter who got married 4 years ago with whom Harry considered as his closest friend. "And your godson, Conner."

"How is he, by the way?" Harry asked.

"The lad is doing great," there was a twinkle in Sirius' eye when he said this. "He's learned the rules of the ton and has been talking of marriage ever since he arrived. He's even more eager than you, you know."

Harry rolled his eyes and not for one minute did he believe that a three year-old will actually be talking about such things. It was just a ploy that Sirius used for him to talk about settling down.

"I suppose telling you no would not convince you to shut up?"

"Not until you actually do as I say and get goddamn married," Sirius pointed out for the hundredth time. He stood up and walked over to the cabinet where Harry's brandy had been minding its own business.

He laid out two glasses and poured the content in them until they were both a quarter empty.

He handed the wineglass to his godson and sipped from his own, waiting for Harry to respond. When he didn't, Sirius sighed heavily. "You have a duty to beget heirs so your lineage wouldn't die down."

"It can die down for all I care," Harry muttered bitterly, turning to face the window.

"If you have to have a grudge against a family, let it be the Dursleys, you fool!" Sirius bit out venomously at Harry's back, impatient with the constant offense and rejection of his godson towards his family.

"I am not going to argue about that. But for my parents to actually entrust me to those…those filthy excuse for relatives? My God, don't expect me to erect statues for them!"

"The line of the Potters is a respectable one and it doesn't deserve to be discarded. Your parents never wanted you to end up in such a situation. They were not stupid."

"But they weren't that smart either, not if they thought anybody could be trusted with that much money and prestigious position."

"But Petunia was your mother's sister. Nobody expected what happened."

"Neither did anybody do anything, did they?"

Sirius sighed. "No explanation will ever be good enough for you, will there?"


"You'll just keep blaming them so you would have an excuse for your hatred towards the Potters."

"I don't hate them. It just so happens that you are expecting me to love them," May I remind you that I didn't grow up with my parents? So it is a little hard to love people whom I didn't even know."

"Be that as it may, you must believe that they loved you. And I know, even though you disagree, that you love them as well. That heart of yours just does not want to admit it."

"You can try looking, but you'll be wasting your time."

"Because there's no love in your heart?"

"No, because I don't have one."

"Stop begrudging yourself, boy," Sirius said, shaking his head. "James and Lily sacrificed their lives for you. They left you with everything you own so you could have a good life, even without them."

"What made you think it would have made a difference if they were alive."

"They need to be thanked, Harry, not spited at."

"What? They would hear me if I did?"

"You are impossible!"

"I do not have the notion that I am disgracing the name of my family, Sirius." Harry clarified. "In fact, I am uplifting it. I am excellent in what I do and will continue doing it for the next fifty years or so. What's there to be afraid of?"

"Immortality. It's about letting that proud family name become a legend that will last until the next century."

"My family does not need physical existence to last."

"Yes, it does." Sirius countered strongly.


"Consider it as some sort of tradition." Sirius replied evasively.

"It is not what I want."

"It is not about what you want. It is something you must do."

"I will not be coerced into doing something I am against," Harry shook his head. "My freedom is not worth giving up for some self-centered chit who would just throw away the money I worked hard for."

"Is that what this is about? You don't want to share your wealth?"

"No. That's not it."

"Then what is?"

"It is none of your goddamn business."

"Of course it's my business. For what else did your parents choose me as your godparent? I'm here to see to your best interests. And right now, getting married would probably be the best of them."

"My best interests do not revolve around marriage," Harry shook his head and looked at his godfather with piercing green eyes.

"Every time you come here, you always have that in mind. Get married. Go to this ball, look for a lady," He wiped his face with his hands. "You sound like a broken record. Too broken it can't be fixed. And that's what annoys the hell out of me. You won't stop until I get married. But I won't get married so you won't stop. God forbid!"

Sirius only chuckled.

"And for the record, I don't think it really matters if you don't get to fulfill one of my best interests. There are so many others you could choose from."

"Happiness is what I want for you."

"It doesn't mean that just because you're happy with Alicia, I would also have that kind of relationship with my wife," Harry responded. Then, as if getting burned even just by the thought, he added. "Should I ever get married..."

"So you're saying you don't want to get married just because of the risk of not being happy or loved?"

"Love?" Harry scoffed. "Pathetic."

Sirius looked at him coolly. "You are capable of loving."

Harry chose to be silent, bracing himself for what was coming next.

"Polly Smith was proof of that," He whispered somberly, gauging Harry's reaction.

Sure enough, the lad's expression changed by the mere mention of the name.

Sirius felt him stiffen.

"I was capable." He bitted out. "Not anymore."

"That was what? 9 years ago…"

"I don't give a damn how long it's been," He cursed. "Nothing can make me forget."

"You didn't mean for it to happen."

"It doesn't make a difference whether I meant it to happen!" Harry bit out. "What matters is that it did."

"You're really stupid, do you know that?!"

"Yeah. Shocking discovery, isn't it?" Harry said sarcastically.

"Life is full of crap, Harry. You can't go around expecting things to happen the way you want them to. It doesn't work that way."

"You're just saying that because you want me to get married. Ha! Tough case. I won't."

"No, I'm not. I want to help you. You're caught in the past. It's making you miserable. Don't you see? You have to move on."

"Moving on means forgetting. I can't."

"You can't or you won't? You're just punishing yourself for nothing."

"I can never live a happy life knowing that the people who mattered to me had been robbed of the chance to be."

"And you think they'd be happy your life is stuck at this miserable point because of them?"


Sirius could only hear Harry's sharp, ragged breathing.

When he came here this morning, he just had the thought of asking Harry about his merger and leave it at that.

But then, he noticed something had to be done before it was too late.

Unfortunately, his godson, who was half the key to all this, was not cooperating.


No answer.

The boy had closed his eyes, sweat starting to pool on his head.

"Harry, I only…"

"Can we stop this? I'm tired."

Harry barely caught Sirius' eyes when he glanced over his shoulder, but something about the mysterious and painful glint in there told Sirius that Harry had really had enough.

And Sirius knew better than to continue.

Finally, he nodded.

If Harry's past had something to do with his current repugnance to marriage or to anything that had to with his life now, then so be it.

The boy was young.

He was scarred.

Shattered and messed-up.

Although Sirius had tried hard for the last 5 years to fix him, Harry won't let anyone see his vulnerable side.

And he understood the boy.

So, he was willing to give Harry time.

Even though that was what they were running out of.

He'll step back.

That was easy.

But he sure as hell won't wait until everyone else who mattered, suffer to see Harry happily married…or even just settled, for that matter.

He'll see to that.

But Sirius will make sure he was not aware of it.



I removed my other story, Persona, to replace it with Caught in the Past, because I felt that I dragged the prologue too much and there were facts that could be explained some other time. If you would notice, there's a slight change in my writing style. I don't know if it's better. Anyway, I'm still formulating for ideas that can spice up the story, but rest assured, I already know what will happen in the climax. It's going to be a drama, that much I can tell. So, please stay tuned and tell me what you think. Ciao!