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Immutable Feelings by memoryspell48
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Immutable Feelings

memoryspell48

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine…if the canon stories were I would already know how the last book ends and if Harry dies or not.

A/N: Okay, I really hope that everyone enjoys this chapter. It is my favorite chapter of the story that I have written so far. I am really happy with how it turned out, and I hope you guys agree. Hopefully I'll get more readers now that Harry and Hermione are closer to getting together. And, not to be annoying, but please review. I really enjoy getting meaningful feedback.

Chapter 5 - A Late Night Conversation

Hermione sat cross-legged on the couch in front of the still blazing fire in the Gryffindor common room that was completely deserted. Books surrounded her, as did spare bits of parchment. All other Gryffindors were in bed, but she had decided to stay up and get some extra studying in, the N.E.W.T.s got closer everyday. Crookshanks was sound asleep in a nearby chair enjoying the warmth of the fire. Absentmindedly she fiddled with the end of her quill while reading through her notes from the other day's Transfiguration class. Hermione stopped for a moment, rubbing her tired eyes, refusing to let herself to succumb to sleep just yet. Determinedly she tried to keep herself awake and get focused again on her reading.

At last absorbed in her reading once more, she did not notice that someone was coming down the stairs until they reached the bottom of the staircase. She jumped at the noise of feet falling on the stone staircase, sending some of her books and notes flying across the couch and the floor, waking up a very cranky and annoyed Crookshanks. Quickly she got up, and began crawling around on the ground to gather her things. Looking up from gathering up her fallen study materials to see who it was that was up, she nearly dropped her things again when her tired brown eyes met Harry's red-rimmed green ones.

"Harry," she said quietly. She felt suddenly foolish realizing she must look awfully silly sitting on the floor clutching books and staring at him. Also, things were still slightly weird between them, after the episode the other day.

Hermione jumped to her feet and returned to her seat on the couch, quickly setting about reorganizing her notes.

"Oh, hey Hermione, I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone would be up. I don't want to interrupt you're studying," he said uncomfortably, looking down at his feet. He turned around as if to head back up to the boys dorm.

"Don't be silly Harry! I was about to wrap things up soon anyway. Don't go back up yet," she said quickly, she hoped that she didn't sound too eager for him to stay with her. She gestured for him to come over and sit with her.

Harry wandered over slowly and sat down next to her on the couch, sinking into its old and comfortable cushions. Hermione turned her focus to Harry. Surreptitiously she studied his face, anxiously trying to discern what was bothering him. He gave her ample time as he stared distantly into the leaping flames. The expression on his face was sad and far away, it made her feel the urge to comfort him.

Tentatively Hermione moved closer to him and gently placed her small, slender-fingered hand on top of his. His hand was surprisingly warm; the contact felt electric. Hermione hoped he didn't notice her reaction to the touch. Looking away from the fire he smiled at her warmly. She noted happily that his face was slightly flushed. However, he immediately noted sadness in his eyes hidden behind the façade of the smile. It was always there, how could it not with his dark past, but it seemed worse tonight.

"Harry what are you doing up this late?" She gazed at him thoughtfully, waiting for his face to betray him and let her know what he was thinking.

"Oh, just couldn't sleep is all. I had too much sugar or something I guess," he replied unconvincingly.

"I'm serious Harry, are you okay? You're not have nightmares again are you?" she asked her voice filled with concern.

Harry looked down at his feet, refusing to meet her eyes. "No," he whispered in reply.

"Then what is it? You know you can trust me with anything," she told him gently. "Please Harry; I know something is on your mind. You can't lie to me. You should know by now that I can see right through you." She grabbed his shoulders, turning him to face her.

He sighed heavily, as always hard to pry feelings out of. "It's fine Hermione. I just couldn't sleep is all, like I told you before," Harry told her evasively.

"You've been thinking about Dumbledore and Sirius, and your parents aren't you? Even though Voldemort's gone it still hurts doesn't it?" Hermione inquired suddenly, her face raw with sorrow.

"Revenge only feels good at the moment," she added sagely. A muscle in Harry's check twitched and he sighed heavily.

Harry looked up his green eyes looking incredibly vulnerable at that moment. "Wow, I guess I should have paid better attention during those Occlumency lessons with Snape," Harry said uneasily, hating the feeling of having his emotions so exposed. Hermione laughed. If only Harry knew just how easily she was usually able to read him.

"Yeah well, you were kind of rubbish at it and you clearly haven't improved," Hermione commented jokingly. Harry cracked a small smile.

Hermione weakly returned his smile, concern for Harry preoccupying her mind. She has not been expecting that she would so quickly hit the problem that was on Harry's mind. Not really knowing what more to say to Harry at the moment wrapped her arms around him tightly in a tender hug. Harry stiffened slightly, but then pulled her closer. Hermione closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms.

"Harry, I know that you will always miss the people you loved that Voldemort took away, but don't forget how many people are still around who care a lot about you. And you're still around. Your parents sacrifice wasn't for nothing. And, I know you're sick of hearing this, but you did save us all."

Harry held her closer. She could feel his warm breath on her neck.

"Hermione," he said almost inaudibly, "thank you for always standing by me. I don't think I ever thanked you properly but I hope you know I would have never made it without you."

Hermione looked up, blinking her chocolate eyes in surprise at Harry's words. It was unexpected coming from him. His green eyes seemed to be glowing in the dim light of the room. She felt suddenly very warm, as though she'd taken on a sudden fever. She'd always known that he was grateful for her help along the way to defeat Voldemort. However, it seemed to her that all she did was supply information nothing else really.

"Harry, I…" she paused a moment, her tongue had almost betraying her. She closed her eyes and cleared her emotion clouded head before continuing.

"Harry, I really care about you. You're strong, I'm sure you could've defeated him without me. But, just so you know, I'll always be here for you. And you don't need to thank me. You haven't exactly been a slouch for a friend either you know, well most of the time anyway." She looked at him pointedly.

Harry was glad that she couldn't see his face at the moment, uncomfortable with the emotions he was feeling. He could feel that his face was glowing. Eventually he pulled away, not sure how long he could get away with hugging her like that.

Hermione felt inexplicably sad when the embrace ended, hoping somehow that the moment would last longer as though frozen in time. Too bad messing with time using magic was so dangerous, or she would have been tempted to freeze them in the moment.

"Hermione, I'm sorry about the other day," he blurted out. His face felt even warmer now.

She looked at him in surprise. Harry was usually kind of thick when it came to girls. He had never known, without her explanations, why he made Cho cry.

"I didn't mean to get so upset Harry. You just hurt me. It made me feeling like you were embarrassed about voluntarily studying with me and spending time with me," she admitted.

Harry looked taken aback. "I'm so sorry Hermione. I don't know. Ron's just been weird lately about us, and I didn't want to set him off. I feel awful for making you feel unwanted," Harry told her regretfully.

"Just don't do it again," she told, smiling forgivingly. Their eyes met, his green and her brown, and she felt a strange sort of sensation coarse through her body. She quickly looked away, but still felt dazed.

"So what are you studying?" Harry asked awkwardly.

Hermione blinked and stared at him stupidly for a few moments before bringing herself back to reality.

"Oh, Transfiguration I guess."

Harry smiled, holding back a laugh.

"Are you alright Hermione?" She looked at him, dying to tell him what she was feeling, but afraid to put herself out there. Closing her eyes a moment, she opened her mouth as if to say it, but held her tongue at the last moment. She'd tell him eventually.

"Oh, yeah just tired I guess," she replied, trying to sound composed but failing miserably.

Harry's eyes were still on her, and the way Harry was looking at her was making her dizzy.

"You should get to bed then. Do stay up on my account. Trust me Hermione you'll be getting the best grades on the N.E.W.T.s even if you don't kill yourself studying," he assured her kindly.

"That's nice of you to say Harry, but trust me I do need to study. I guess it wouldn't hurt to sleep a little. I can't learn anything if I am sleeping on top of my books." She smiled warmly and began gathering up her books.

Harry helped her, crawling around on the floor next to her to grab papers and books she had missed when they'd fallen earlier. With his help it was going quickly. Harry and Hermione both reached for the last book, and Harry ended up grabbing her hand instead of the book. Hermione looked up and blushed when Harry didn't let go immediately.

Instead he leaned over and kissed her on her on the check. She felt herself sigh softly as his lips touched her skin. Hermione froze. Her heart began pounding in her chest like a wild bird. Harry was looking at her anxiously. She felt a slow smile creep onto her face.

"Thank you," she whispered, hoping she wasn't imaging things, and feeling foolish for not having anything better to say.

Harry smiled in relief.

"What was that for?" she asked playfully, hoping to make him give away what he was feeling. Harry blushed.

"It was just for you being such a good friend," he replied. Hermione grinned, and boldly leaned over kissing Harry on the check, in such a way that she ended up kissing the corner of his mouth as well. He looked up at her, surprised, but he seemed pleased.

"Well, I hope you can get some sleep. Goodnight Harry," she said lightly, jumping to her feet. She winked mischievously at him.

"Goodnight Hermione," he croaked. He was still sitting on the floor, his green eyes glowing.

She nodded and smiled at him. Clutching her books and papers to her chest, hoping he couldn't hear how loudly her heart was beating. Slowly she headed up the stairs to the girls dormitory. She felt dizzy, lightheaded, and supremely happy.

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