Chapter 4
The Memory
***Continued directly from Chapter 3, Hermione is still in the Pensieve watching the memory Harry sent her.***
The Weasley's kitchen dissolved from Hermione's sight and instantly the familiar forms of hers and Ron's lounge took shape in front of her as her past self and Harry apparated into the middle of the room.
The two of them stood there wrapped in each other for a moment until Harry broke the contact and set her back from him; holding out her arms and looking her up and down then holding one of her hands up to his face, then the other, apparently taking stock that all her limbs and digits had made it through their journey.
Hermione wiggled her fingers in front of his eyes.
"Don't worry I'm all here" she said in a singsong voice.
He gave a small smile, looking down at her as she closed her eyes and placed her hands on Harry's hips, resting the top of her head on his chest.
"You okay?" he said, moving his hands on her shoulders.
"I'm fine" she said, grinning up at him and holding on to the front of his shirt to steady herself. "We should have a drink"
He cupped her face in his hands.
"I think maybe not" he laughed. She looked up at him and blinked slowly, unintentionally leaning into his hands. Harry's smile softened.
"So" he said abruptly, looking around and obviously plotting his next move. "We need to get you fed."
Following them through as Harry helped her into the kitchen, the Hermione watching the scene cringed at herself - she knew she didn't handle drinking very well which is why she never did it. She couldn't believe she had no recollection of this; she thought she remembered clearing the chairs away and being told Harry carried her to bed but none of this. She felt embarrassed and confused; she had never forgotten what she'd done while she was drinking before. Why was Harry showing her this? Just to berate her? She watched him as he set about getting out a frying pan and some eggs. He wasn't using magic at all and she wondered if that meant he wasn't as far on the right side of sober as he appeared to be.
As he cooked, she watched herself sitting at the breakfast bar dutifully sipping the glass of water Harry had handed her.
"Oh Harry wasn't it a great day" she said dreamily.
He nodded and smiled as he cracked eggs into the pan. "Yeah it was pretty perfect."
Hermione was in a reverie obviously remembering the wedding. "I mean, she looked so beautiful and George looked so proud. And their boys were so cute." Her face turned sad. "And the part where they lit all the candles and remembered Fred and Hannah's mother was so amazing, it was just right."
Harry's face clouded over. "It did seem weird not having Fred there."
"I know" said Hermione. "But Hannah is so good with George; I think she really understands because she lost her mother to Deatheaters too."
Harry just murmured in response and the Hermione sitting at the breakfast bar went on.
"I guess that's why you marry someone, because they understand you right?"
Harry grinned but kept his eyes on his cooking.
"Well I think a few people would agree that you're asking the wrong person there."
She looked at him with a confused frown and he glanced up.
"I just mean, what do I know about marriage? Except about how to avoid getting forced into it."
Hermione raised her eyebrows "Really?"
"Really" he said bringing two plates across to her. "I don't know how it feels when it feels right, but I know how it feels when it doesn't."
She considered him with an almost comically thoughtful expression and he laughed, pointing at the toasted sandwich he'd made her. "Eat."
Looking down in surprise she picked it up and they stood there, both with their elbows on the bench eating.
"So you were getting the big pressure from Ginny then?" Hermione said between mouthfuls.
Harry cocked an eyebrow "Yeah, marriage, kids the whole lot. It just didn't feel right. I mean, her and Teddy got on, but y'know, I don't know if she was the person to help me raise him."
Hermione nodded. "Very wise in your old age, aren't you."
"I learnt everything I know from you" he grinned.
She scoffed. "Yeah right, look at me! I wish I was dreaming of the white dress and all that but…" She put her sandwich down. "I'm all confused."
Harry seemed to get uncomfortable at this. "You'll come round" he said.
They finished their food talking about the wedding again, Hermione obviously sobering up a little.
"Come on" she watched herself say as she finished her food. "Let's sit outside"
Harry shook his head "No I should let you get to bed."
"No no I'm not tired yet… pleeease?" She grabbed his arm without waiting for an answer and pulled him towards the door, grabbing a blanket off the back of an armchair by the door. Future Hermione followed, watching Harry as he looked back over his shoulder for a moment then let himself be led.
They stepped out onto the deck overlooking the garden and Hermione looked up at the stars. "Oh wow" she said. It was a clear night and the stars were out in force and Harry looked up admiringly too.
"Right" said Hermione, plonking herself down on a cane two-seater and pulling out her wand from a hidden pocket she'd obviously had made in her dress. Harry hadn't realised she still had it which he decided was a bad oversight on his part as soon as she held it up, shouting,
"Accio Wine, Accio Glasses!"
He lurched towards her calling "No!" but it was too late- he winced as he heard a great crash behind him. Hermione caught the heavy green bottle with surprising agility as it completed its flight through the window of the closed door and into her hands. Harry turned to catch the two wine glasses just in time as they sailed almost past him.
"Oops" she said cheerfully as she inspected the lid of the bottle, trying to work out how to open it.
Harry stepped over and caught her wand hand as she raised it to the bottle. "I think it'd be best if I do that" he smiled, taking both her wand and the bottle gently off her. Opening it with her wand he poured some into each glass.
"I'm not sure we need this" he smiled ruefully as he passed her one.
"Aw c'mon Harry, just a nightcap" she said as she took it from him and took a sip.
The other Hermione sat down on a chair as she watched the events through her fingers, shaking her head but smiling despite herself. She watched Harry sit down on the two-seater, and saw herself arrange the blanket over both of their laps.
They sat back, looking at the stars, talking and drinking their wine. Hermione leaned over and made short work of removing her heels and Harry took his glasses off and placed them in his pocket, rubbing his eyes. Hermione told him she'd forgotten how handsome he looked without them and he pushed her playfully. She began talking about a muggle treatment for bad eyesight that she'd heard about through work.
Suddenly she froze in mid sentence, eyes wide looking at Harry. He frowned in confusion until she whipped back the blanket in one movement. He looked down to see a garden gnome looking up at him, the foot high creature holding on to Hermione's bare calf.
"AAAAaaaargh!" she shrieked pulling her legs out of his grip and quickly up onto the seat. Her arms shot around Harry's neck as she tried in vain to get higher up away from the gnome who was still looking up at them with a smirk on its ugly face. Hermione continued to yelp as Harry broke into uncontrollable laughter.
"Get…it…AWAY!!" she yelled, swatting at the pest on each word. Harry eased his hysterics enough to put his foot under the gnome and with one kick send it sailing in an arc into the bushes where it had come from. Resuming his laughter Hermione swatted him on the chest, her other arm still around his neck -she'd retreated so high she was practically on his lap. She looked anxiously towards the bushes before swatting him again.
"Stop laughing!" she said, trying to keep a straight face. "It's not funny!" she finished indignantly.
Harry continued sniggering. "No, sorry but that was definitely funny" he said, laughing up at her. "It's very un-SPEW like behavior of you, Hermione."
She was still frowning down at him in indignation for a moment before her composure cracked and the corners of her mouth started to twitch. He smiled wider as she broke into full laughter, throwing her head back as they both laughed uncontrollably.
They carried on for a while, stopping then starting again at any slight noise made from the other. Finally Hermione wiped laughter tears from her eyes as they both grew gradually quieter.
Realising she still hadn't released him, she looked back into his face, now only inches from her own and her smile slowly evaporated. He caught her eye then and fell still and quiet also.
The only sound was their breathing as they sat that way, a breath apart, for what seemed like an eternity. The barest movement forward from Hermione bought their heads closer and the Hermione watching from her chair gave a gasp that no one could hear as Harry closed the distance to bring their lips together.
The kiss was tentative, just a soft pressing of lips and then Harry pulled back a centimetre, his eyes opening to travel slowly up to hers. Hermione opened her eyes too, meeting his, their breath mingling in a frozen moment of hesitation.
Then his hand came up to the side of her face, grasping her jaw and bringing her in to him again. Responding in kind she brought both her hands to his neck, crushing him to her as if satisfying a thirst.
He pulled her further on to his lap as she held on to him, their faces never parting and their hands in each others hair.
They broke apart for a moment, breathing heavily with their foreheads touching, holding each other desperately close.
"Harry…" Hermione began hoarsely, but he cut her off.
"Don't, don't…" he said softly, closing his eyes and shaking his head side to side, holding her face to his.
She did as he asked, and silenced herself against his lips again. They kissed like this for some time, breaking away at times to just look at each other, eyes searching the others face and then settling on their lips, and inevitably ending in them kissing again. She stroked his hair and he brushed her face with his fingers, suddenly realizing she was crying.
"Harry… "she said, barely audible "You're the only one I…"
"Shh" he whispered against her mouth, holding her face and brushing away tears with his thumbs.
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry Harry" she responded, tears falling in earnest now.
He kissed her some more then pulled her onto his shoulder, bringing her legs in close so he was cradling her on his lap. She cried into his neck and he said nothing, his face anguished as he stared down, rubbing her arm with his thumb, her legs with his other hand.
They sat like that, resting on each other then kissing again, stroking each other's faces, then hands, and then interlocking fingers and resting again, always touching but never talking.
Watching the scene unfold, the Hermione sitting on the chair wiped away tears of her own then moved to sit at hers and Harry's feet. Her feelings indescribable, she just tried to get as close to them as she could to not miss one moment.
Hours passed and the three of them sat there, and oddly, Hermione from her position on the ground felt like she was intruding on something very private.
She watched them kiss and cry, even laugh a little at times, but still no words were spoken other then Harry asking if she was comfortable. It was as if they didn't know where to start, so they just sat there, always touching, never more than a matter of inches apart. The crying said more than anything, an unspoken signal of feelings restrained for so long, and of the punishing guilt just under the surface. When she would cry, he would kiss and sweep her tears away, and then she would smile, studying his face as if she'd never seen it before. Occasionally their kissing would grow in intensity, his palms running over her uncovered shoulders, her hands moving inside his shirt front and roaming over his chest.
Finally, he moved them both so they lay back onto the armrest, Hermione resting her head on his arm so she could still see him. He stroked her cheek then her whole face, tracing his fingers over her lips, her eyebrows and nose as she closed her eyes.
Eventually her even breathing told that she was asleep but he continued to watch her for a long time, until light started to tinge the sky above them. He moved to look at the brightening sky and frowned, staring at the horizon, obviously deep in thought.
Future Hermione still sat on the floor hugging her knees as she watched him, feeling exhausted, her cheeks tear stained. She watched him bring out his wand and study it with unusual intensity for a while before pointing it at the broken window in the door and whispering 'Reparo'.
He rested the wand on his chest and turned back to Hermione sleeping at his side, studying her face like he was memorizing it. He brushed her lips with his thumb and finally spoke.
"I love you Hermione."
He leaned in and kissed her softly, his eyes closed, before pulling gently away and settling her back on the seat without him, pulling the blanket up to her chin. He sat on the edge, stroking her hair with a haunting sadness in his green eyes. Then he raised his wand to her temple and spoke.
"Obliviate."
He took one final look at her then bent down, picked up one of the wine glasses and walked back inside the house, closing the door behind him leaving one Hermione sleeping, and the other staring after him.