Chapter Six
The Fallout
Harry walked steadily to the front door of Hogwarts, nearly reaching the steps before his Supernova 4000 caught up with him, flying straight into his outstretched hand. He launched himself off the top step swinging the broom underneath him and once underway, pulled up hard, soaring into the air in a steep and fast climb. As soon as he got height, he crouched low over the polished wood handle, gathering speed.
He grit his teeth against the thoughts crowding his mind but he couldn't out run them, his conversation with Hermione playing over and over again in his head as he flew. With a sigh he sat back a bit, slowing down, inwardly cursing. How had he made such a mess of everything? The last thing he wanted was for Hermione to be mad at him, but the hurt and anger had been so clear in her eyes and had cut him to the bone. Looking down below he saw the village of Hogsmeade and with an instant decision, pulled into a wide arc to begin his descent.
He thought about the Three Broomsticks but changed direction at the last moment, pulling up outside The Hogs Head Inn. He pushed the door open and strode straight to the bar, glancing around; grateful no one he knew was in there. Ordering a Firewhisky he moved to a table in the corner, leaning his broom against the wall and taking his Quidditch gloves and forearm guards off.
He made short work of downing his drink and then just sat there, staring at his empty glass, alone with his thoughts. How much had Ron heard? He wasn't sure but he felt a hollow pit in his stomach remembering the poisonous look in Ron's eyes - he'd seen Ron mad at him before, but he'd never seen him look like this. Harry toyed with his glass as he remembered her eyes, upset and angry, but still that devastating deep brown that was his undoing. Those eyes he felt he could drown in. He gazed at the floor.
"Drinking by himself… it's not a good sign…"
Two pairs of dragon hide boots stepped in to his vision and he looked up to see Bill and Charlie Weasley smiling in front of him. Strangely, even in the circumstances, he wasn't unhappy to see them; he'd gotten close to both of them over the years, enjoying their laid back view of the world. The fact that they were both a bit older than him didn't seem to come into it and Bill had supposed once that it was because Harry seemed a lot older than he was, likely due to all the things he'd had to deal with in his relatively short life. Working with Charlie as a dragon keeper on a few trips had bought them close, and both the elder Weasley boys had a real soft spot for Teddy, both taking him out whenever they had time.
He smiled the warmest smile he could manage and stood up, pulling out some chairs for the brothers to join him. Bill had brought him another drink and he accepted it with thanks, sitting back down in his chair.
"Been up at Hogwarts?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah" Harry took a sip. "Careers Day. Trying to tell the kids to get an education so they can chase a Snitch around all day like me." They laughed. "Teddy actually talked me into doing it; I think he's trying to prove to McGonagall that he really doesn't need to study too hard because he's going to be a Quidditch player… I can't come up with an argument against him either" he smiled.
"I bet Hermione will set him straight on that" Bill laughed.
Harry's face fell before he could catch it and he took a gulp of his drink to hide it. Bill eyed him speculatively. "She and Ron up there?"
Harry avoided eye contact. "Uh yeah, and Luna and others…"
"I'm a bit worried about her" Bill mused.
Harry wanted to ask who but thought better of it, luckily, Charlie asked for him.
"Who, Hermione?"
"Yeah" said Bill "They came around the other night, and she's just not herself. She's skinny as a wand and, I don't know, I can't put my finger on it…"
Dread clenched at Harry's insides and he self consciously ran his hands through his hair. Bill kept on.
"Fleur agrees too. But bloody Ron wouldn't have a clue. Too caught up in his work, which is all very well but that girl is gold and he'll lose her if he's not careful."
Harry was almost painfully uncomfortable now and cast around for any subject at all to change the conversation to. Charlie chipped in again.
"It's Harry."
Thinking he was hearing things, Harry's head snapped up to Charlie to see his friend, glass in hand lying back in his chair, smirking at him.
"Wha..?" Harry stammered
"It's you mate. She's in love with you. Always has been. I figured it out not long ago, when I was talking to her - about you." Bill was taking a keen interest, watching them both through squinted eyes.
"Nooo… no I don't think so…" Harry began.
"Absolutely" grinned Charlie, and Harry had an impulse to lean across the table and clout him. Bill was still squinting at Harry with his head on the side.
"You know, that makes a lot of sense" he came up with eventually.
Harry stared at them both, incredulous. "What the hell are you guys talking about??" He looked from one to the other. "She's…she's practically married to your brother!"
Bill smiled and shook his head. "Those two haven't been good together for years Harry. You've gotta know that. It's just neither one will be the one to give it up- Ron's almost said as much to me." Harry stared at him, his mouth hanging open. "So the question is, do you love her?"
The afternoon had almost been too much for him and he felt distinctly light headed as he stared at them. The silence dragged on and he felt a sort of surrender inside as he admitted quietly, "More than anything."
Charlie widened the big grin on his freckled face and Bill sat back in his chair, clasping his hands behind his ponytail.
"Well, well."
Harry sat there looking at the table, numb. He felt like the very fabric of his life was unraveling; everything he had carefully hidden for so long was now sliding out of his control. He knew part of him was relieved that he wouldn't have to play this constant charade anymore but he was wildly disorientated. He pressed the palms of his hands to his forehead and leaned on his elbows.
"It's not as big a mess as you think it is Harry." Bill was looking at him across the table. "Granted, it's a bit complicated but you and Ron are brothers, and you'll have to work this out one day." Perhaps not realizing he did it now, he began absently tracing one of the long scars on his face. "All I know, is that if you find a woman who knows you, the real you, and will love and stand by you through anything…. You can't let her go. It's as simple as that" he finished.
Harry looked up at him as if seeing him for the first time and then sat up straight in his chair. Slowly he got to his feet and then looked at both of their faces.
"I've got to go" he said.
Charlie kept grinning and Bill pulled out his seat to let him by. Harry walked past then turned back in a preoccupied state to his gloves and broom but both brothers pushed him away again.
"We've got it mate" said Charlie as he motioned to the door. "Go."
Harry nodded at him then bolted out the door and turned on the spot.
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Harry cupped his hands around his eyes as he leaned into the glass windows of the The Burrow. No sign of life in there either.
He stood back and looked up at the house, cursing to himself. Now that he wanted to find Hermione instead of avoiding her, he couldn't track her down. He'd been back to Hogwarts, her office at the Ministry and now The Burrow but no luck.
He knew the next place he should go but hesitated, for the first time since he'd spoken to Bill and Charlie. The little nagging voice at the back of his head that had been calling for attention got louder. 'And what are you going to do when you find her, Harry?' it asked.
"I'm making it up as I go along" he said out loud, then turned on the spot.
He waited patiently for the squeezing sensation of apparition to subside so he could take a breath again but as soon as the Wesley's house came into focus; his straining lungs were knocked sideways as he felt a large object collide painfully with his ribs. He landed heavily on the grass, the back of his head thumping the ground.
Seeing stars he tried to get his bearings, sensing a weight on him, and arms around his waist. His assailants shoulder was pressing him into the ground, but he could feel they were recovering from the tackle quickly. Managing to take his first real breath he recovered from the surprise and grabbed hold of the body under their arms, struggling to turn them and roll them on to their back. The attacker was fairly strong, rolling them over again and he tried to halt their progress with his legs as he came back on top but couldn't stop their momentum. Then he heard a voice. Ginny's voice.
"Ron!! Stop!!"
In shock Harry stopped struggling and the attacker swung up on top of him again. He looked up to recognise Ron above him, now sitting back to grip Harry's robes at the front of his chest. Momentarily confused, Harry froze, staring at him.
"Ron?" he asked
Ron didn't answer, his face an angry mask as he pulled back one of his fists and pummeled it straight into Harry's face.
"RON!!"
In the split second of black when the pain exploded in his brain, Harry started to figure out what was happening and took his hands off Ron, pulling his arms up to his head to deflect blows with his forearms in a conscious effort not to fight him. Ron yanked Harry's face close to his with a fistful of his robes.
"Get up you fucking coward!! Get up!!" he screamed at Harry an inch from his face.
Harry took a look at Ron's distorted face and his temper got the better of him, launching himself up he drove his forearm under Ron's chin and shoved him over on to his back. Ron renewed his force now he had some resistance again, and bought his legs up to kick Harry off him. They both jumped up, turning to face each other, circling warily.
"Ronald!!! What is going ON!"
Harry gave a fleeting look over to see Molly Weasley just arriving at the front of the house next to Ginny who was holding her mother's wand hand down, physically restraining the older woman who looked completely bewildered. Arthur Weasley was behind the two, standing there watching with a kind of sadness etched on his face. Behind him, George was ushering his two little boys inside with their mother before turning back to the scene. Harry registered all of the family and their reactions just before his head snapped sideways again, his lip splitting instantly from the force of Ron's knuckles.
"RONALD!!"
Harry used Ron's momentum to pull him down to the ground in a headlock, Ron struggling and cursing.
"Ron, stop!" Harry growled as he fought to contain him. Ron gave another surge and pushed himself up and over, causing Harry to tumble with him, both of them scrambling on the ground as Ron tried to connect his fists with Harry again and Harry trying to block himself effectively. Connecting a few more times, Ron began to lose steam and finally Harry pushed him off and away with his feet; Ron finished sitting and Harry crouching, both panting on the grass looking at each other.
Ron managed to gasp out some words between breaths.
"…Asshole… you gutless asshole…."
Harry frowned at him, trying desperately to piece together the details, glancing at the Wesley's still watching at a distance. Ron spoke again.
"She told me everything."
Harry's eyes widened and he let himself fall back on to his backside, hanging his head between his legs. He couldn't speak, this felt so surreal, like he was watching a bad drama but from the wrong side of the action.
"Everything Harry! You kept it quiet for a whole year… modifying her memory - what is that?? Is that something you do to all the girls is it? How many have you done that to Harry?" Ron yelled.
Now Harry felt rage rising. "I've NEVER done it before! Do you think I…. I didn't WANT to do it!!..."
"Don't you DARE!" roared Ron, rising to his feet again now, Harry following suit. Arthur got to them before they got too close again, George just behind him as Arthur placed himself between the two, putting his hands to Harry's chest. George placed himself at Ron's shoulder ready to restrain him. "Don't you dare, PRETEND that you did that for ME!!"
"Ron…. shit…" Harry stepped back closing his eyes briefly. "I thought I was doing the best thing at the time. For everyone." He looked at Ron imploringly. "I know it won't matter… but I'm sorry. And don't blame her, it was my fault, I took advantage…"
"Ha!" Ron gave a sharp laugh. "She didn't need any encouragement!" he spat. "The two of you must've had quite a laugh at my expense… Why do you always have to take everything I have!!"
He made for Harry again but George held him fast, Arthur looking over his shoulder, moving in front of Harry a little.
"Everything!!!" Ron screamed "You always have to win at everything!!"
Harry looked at him, puzzled, then held his hands up in the air. "Winning?? How does this get to be about winning and losing?? It's always about that with you!! I'm not in competition with you Ron! And if I was, I LOST EVERYTHING A LONG TIME AGO!"
That stopped Ron. He stared at Harry for a moment. Then he turned and walked to the steps of the house and sat down, his head in his hands.
Harry watched him, and then glanced at Arthur. Locking eyes, Arthur gave the barest nod towards the step and turned with him as Harry walked over to Ron. He noted Ginny and Molly still standing watching, Ginny's arm still around her mother but now more in comfort than restraint. They both looked on with sadness in their identical eyes, and then Ginny offered the smallest supportive smile towards him.
Harry eased himself on to the step that Ron was on, noting the soreness and bruising in his body already setting in. He stayed silent and waited for Ron to pull his head up from his hands.
"I've always known."
Harry said nothing, waiting for him to continue. George and Arthur had moved back a little, still standing close enough to intervene if needed.
Ron stared into the distance. "I always thought it would be you and her. But then, when it wasn't turning out like that, I thought, well, maybe for once, someone prefers me. Maybe that's the one thing I'd be better at you in. I know that's no way to look at setting up with someone…it's just that I felt so proud. " He turned to look at Harry who was gingerly feeling his split lip. "And I wanted to deny you, I really did Harry. I wanted to hurt you. So I guess that makes me no better right?"
Harry shook his head. "I don't know. I think we all lost our way a bit."
Ron picked up a stray twig and began to twist it. "So, we've broken it off."
Harry's head whipped around to him in surprise. "Ron, I didn't…."
Ron held up his hand to stop him. "No, it's been coming for absolute years. I've just been too stubborn to do it."
"I'm sorry. I really am."
"I know." Ron touched the bridge of his nose cautiously, feeling for a break. "Pretty stupid I guess."
A hint of a smile played on his lips and Harry gave a small smile too.
They sat there in silence for a while, and heard Ginny and Molly walk back into the house. Then Harry spoke up.
"I've never wanted to hurt you. Or her. And now look…" He closed his eyes. "I've lost you both."
Ron turned to look at him. "Don't be stupid."
He didn't even want to look up in case he hadn't heard right until Ron put his hand on his shoulder. He looked up at his friend.
"Look, it's not like I'm bloody happy." He shook his head. "But even I can't deny what's right in front of my face. And Hermione and I… we've been different for a long time now. I guess you sparing my feelings for a decade is long enough…"
Harry stared at him in surprise.
"Yeah" said Ron "I've known all along." He took a deep breath. "And….I've known she feels the same."
Now Harry shook his head. "It's not like that, mate - I think, if there was ever anything, for her… then… it's gone."
Ron actually let out a short laugh. "You're an idiot Harry."
"What?"
"Don't you know her by now? It's self preservation."
Harry still looked perplexed and Ron just shook his head.
They sat there in silence again, until Molly came out and insisted on examining Harry's lip and looking over both of them, taking stock of their injuries. She bought out drinks and hugged them both without words and Harry felt infinitely grateful for her.
"So." Ron bought his wrist up and looked at his watch. "If you hurry, you can still catch her."
Harry squinted at him through the late afternoon sun.
"At the airport" Ron said as he rose to stand on the steps. He looked down at Harry still sitting and Harry could see the internal struggle as he finished; "She's taking a muggle flight to Australia. Heathrow, at seven." He turned and started walking up the path.
Harry stared after him, torn. "Ron!" he called out.
Ron turned around.
"I…Thanks."
Ron just nodded, and walked away.