A/N: Hey all. Just thought that I would go ahead and give you a little treat. And for those who wonder how I manage to get stuff out so quickly, I will let you in on a little secret…. Shhh…. I type really fast, especially when I am eager to write. Thank you, again, for your reviews… and all of you who have added this to your favorites and alerts… hugs to you all… enjoy… (and to Mud- whatcha eatin'?) :D
Lily walked into James's room the next morning promptly at seven. She was exhausted, not having been able to get Christopher asleep until nearly midnight, just to be woken at three in the morning to bring Sirius a snack. She didn't even have the energy to argue with him about anything, she just placed the tray on the table and left without a word. So, she wasn't prepared to see James sitting at his table, waiting for breakfast this early in the morning.
"What are you doing?" Lily asked incredulously as she held the tray.
"I am reading the Daily Prophet," James said as he turned the page. He wasn't looking at her, as he normally did. He was completely focused on the paper. Lily felt that same stab of jealousy from the night before.
"I can see that, but why?" Lily asked. James shrugged and turned the page.
"Because I wanted to see what was so captivating in here," James said bored-ly as he flipped the page again.
"Huh?" Lily asked as she began to unload the tray. She knew Sirius would be bounding in the room any minute. Like clock work, he appeared and sat down opposite of James, starved as ever.
"You read it every morning. I wanted to see what the big deal was," James said as he flipped it to the back.
"Oh," Lily said as she fought to suppress a grin that threatened to shout it to the heavens how she really, truly was beginning to feel. She glanced at Sirius, who shrugged.
"James, thanks for last night," a voice said ripping Lily from her thoughts. That blonde-haired girl, minus her twin, from last night exited the bathroom, now pretty, perfect, and perky as could be.
"No problem, Jenna" James said as the girl kissed him on the cheek. "Do you want to stay for breakfast? Lily could whip you up something to eat."
"Can't," Jenna said as she grabbed her purse from his night stand. "My dad is going to flip when he finds out I didn't go home last night."
"We should do this again sometime," James said. Lily felt herself growing more enraged than she had ever felt in her life time. So what if Potter slept with a girl? He wasn't her property, and in fact, she had turned him down so many times she should be happy he finally moved on. However, something inside of her felt like it had grown ice cold and shattered.
"If there will be nothing more, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black," Lily said coldly as she left the bedroom. She was behind Jenna and for a brief moment, really wanted to strike out at her and hurt her. Lily took a deep breath, thinking she really was cracking up.
`I am just so unbelievably tired,' Lily reasoned as she headed back downstairs to begin her many chores. There was a note posted to the board, telling Lily of any changes in the household that she needed to be aware of to do her job effectively. She groaned as she read. On top of her regular duties, she had to prepare the two rooms for Remus and Peter. She would have two more people to be a slave to now.
`I really am a slave,' Lily thought remorsefully. `I should just throw in the towel and take whatever I get. If I can't pay for school, at least I will have a good start as a maid.'
Lily bit back the sob that threatened to escape as she rolled out the dough for bread. It seemed like everything was piling up on her. She had more than enough work to do already, but Mrs. Miner was still injured. That was a little more world on her shoulders. Now Remus and Peter were coming, the world was increasing. The new nanny was awful in Lily's opinion. She was too cold and cruel to care for Christopher, who really wasn't a bad kid. She had met that military-style witch this morning. That was a little more worry on her shoulders. And now, James was sleeping with girls while Lily was under his roof; he wouldn't even look at Lily when Jenna was around.
`Toughen up, Evans,' Lily told herself. `When did they ever say that life was fair? They didn't so toughen up.'
Lily tried to make her mind blank, but the only thing she could do was think about what James and that pretty girl were probably doing all night long. She felt a little ill. Lily had walked right by that door last night.
`You are just tired. Once you get some sleep, this won't seem so touchy,' Lily reasoned with herself. She looked down at her arms. `Your muscles are coming along quite nicely. Maybe you can marry a nice squib and have squib babies.'
Lily struggled with that thought. She had always assumed that she would become an Auror, but now she wasn't even sure that she would be able to finish her last year of school. Again, Lily really hated her sister now, as she thought of all her dreams that she might have to forgo. It was nearly too much for one person to stand.
For some reason, Lily heard Peter's voice over the others as she brought up their lunches. His squeaky, still un-yet-changed voice seemed to pierce the air. He was trying to convince Sirius to let him back down, as Sirius had magicked him to the ceiling of the dining room. Dressed in her last clean uniform, and wondering if Mrs. Miner would finish her letting-out by summer's end, Lily pushed through the doors carrying two trays. She had memorized this room, so it was not necessary to see the room. She placed the trays on the table.
"Lily!" Remus said excitedly as he threw his arms around her tightly. She laughed at his over dramatic display. It was a private joke between the two prefects, all at James' expense. Granted, James was clueless about it, but still it was funny for the two of them.
"Hey, there to you too, Remus," Lily said as she was finally released.
"How's it been?" Remus asked as she motioned for them to sit.
"Not bad," Lily said quickly as she looked down. She busied herself with her task. She forced a smile. "Eat up, and don't worry about cleaning up. I will be back by later to retrieve the dishes."
"We should catch up," Remus said as she left. Lily waved noncommittally and left the dining room. She didn't want to sit down and talk to Remus about how tired she was, how she had been working her self ragged for more than half a summer already and hadn't had a day off or a good nights sleep. She didn't want to tell him that she thought she might be jealous that James with some other girl. No, she didn't want to tell Remus anything about her feelings for James, jealous or not.
With two more teenage boys in the house, the trays had to be brought up by the twos because even magicked light, they were still cumbersome. Mrs. Miner claimed she would be up and about any time now, yet Lily had little belief in that. The woman didn't seem too eager to rejoin Lily in the duties. Already, more than half a summer and Lily wasn't so certain she could make it the other half.
"How do the boys look, dear?" Mrs. Miner asked as Lily folded more socks for the boys. "How does dear Remus look? I bet they all need some fattening up."
"He looks fine, they all do, really," Lily said thinking that perhaps Remus was looking a little tired, but that all in all he looked healthy. Mrs. Miner looked at the calendar frowning.
"Well, I am sure that you will not be needed tonight, so go on ahead and take the night off. Perhaps a stay in town will do you good, where you can't be bothered," Mrs. Miner said suddenly very serious. Lily looked at her curiously. "The Potters have an apartment in town that I am sure they would love to let you stay in."
"My room is fine, but thank you," Lily said as she continued to make short work of the socks. She glanced at the clock, thinking if she brought the laundry up now, she could have time for a visit with Christopher before his nap. She scooped up the basket and headed upstairs. The boys were no where to be found, so she put their clothes away in their dressers. Opening up James' top drawer, she placed his clothes in there carefully. Her hand bumped something hard and cold. Glancing around, she pulled the flat object from its hiding place.
Lily looked down and saw herself looking back up. It was a picture of her, taken their first year. There were other people in the picture, the rest of the Gryffindors that had started that first year with them. She smiled. She had remembered taking the picture, but hadn't realized that no one was standing around her. James' handiwork, she was certain. He probably poked the other pictured students enough to get them to back away so that it was just her and him in the center of the frame. Lily grunted and shoved the picture away in the drawer.
`He must have put it away so Jenna wouldn't see,' Lily thought bitterly. She covered it up with the pair of underwear that had been concealing it. Common sense didn't tell her that she had never seen the picture before either. Rational thought never entered her mind when it came to James Potter anymore.
Lily knocked on Christopher's door and entered before summoned. The new nanny was there, frowning at Lily as Christopher whimpered from his crib. Lily walked over to him, ignoring the glaring woman.
"What are you doing in here?" The Nanny asked brusquely. "I didn't summon for the maid."
"Christopher, what's wrong sweetie?" Lily asked him, ignoring the woman. Lily reached in and moved some of his sweaty, wild hair out of his eyes.
"She smacked me," Christopher whimpered, holding his hand. Lily took his hand and saw thin red lines across his tender flesh.
"You hit him?" Lily asked angrily as she turned and glared at the woman. She didn't seem concerned by Lily's reaction.
"No, as if it is any of your business," The Nanny said. "I was hired to tame this beast of a child, and I will. I use a tough technique, and we use physical reminders."
"Physical reminders? This looks like a switch mark," Lily snapped at her.
"You are the most insolent maid!" The nanny protested at her angrily. "Perhaps you would know your place had you been raised properly."
"Excuse me?" Lily asked angrily. "I was raised properly. I was raised with kindness, love, and understanding."
"And yet, here you are running your mouth off. If you were my responsibility, I would have taken you out back three sentences ago and gave you a taste of respect," The nanny said. "As it is, you are intruding on Master Potter's nap time, and I can not allow you to intrude any longer."
"No, Lily, no. Don't go," Christopher cried as he tightened his grip on Lily's hand.
"Of course I am not going, not with out you Christopher," Lily said as she went to pick him up.
"You have no right," The nanny said as she blocked the door. Christopher clutched tightly to Lily.
"I have every right," Lily lied quickly. Her mind was reeling with thoughts. "As his future cousin, I have every right to be concerned about his welfare."
"You, the maid?" The nanny laughed coldly as she crossed her boney arms across her boney chest. Lily thought she looked a lot like the witches that muggles portrayed as evil beings.
"Yes, the maid," Lily said boldly as she straightened her spine. Her mind reeled a mile a minute for a plausible story. Unable to find one, she began to lie through her teeth at the horrid woman. "I am going to marry James once we are done with school, and I will be Christopher's cousin. I do NOT take kindly to anyone striking my cousin. Physical reminder or not."
"How dare you," The nanny snapped.
"No, how dare you. Hitting a child," Lily said disgustedly shaking her head. "Move aside. Now."
"Now?" The nanny asked coldly. Lily gave her a stern look.
"Move aside now, or I will move you," Lily said as she tightened her grip on her wand. The nanny looked at her and then moved.
"I will tell Mrs. Potter," The nanny threatened.
"Don't you worry, I will tell her myself," Lily said as she stalked by the cruelly glaring woman. Lily turned and glared at the nanny. "You should be ashamed of yourself. He is just a baby, and you shouldn't hit him."
Lily carried Christopher straight to Mrs. Potters' office and raised her hand to knock on the partially opened door. She stopped, curiously, as she heard her name come from inside the room. She went to press her fingers to her lips to keep Christopher quiet, but he was already asleep.
"James, man, I already told you that you are going about it the wrong way," Sirius said quickly. "You aren't making her like you anymore by having Jenna around. Plus she is going to find out about Jenna and your relationship sooner or later, and there will be hell to pay for that, too."
"I am playing hard to get, like she does. It works the other way, so why not this way and anyways, why is she still working for us?" James snapped angrily. "I thought that I told you that I didn't like it, Mum."
"Don't you talk to me that way, young man," Mrs. Potter said sternly to her son. "And, I gave her a way out. She would rather work than to be handed money. It is a noble reason, and one that you had to realize she would stand behind her values. It is commendable."
"Let's please get back to why we are all here," Mr. Potter interrupted.
"Me," Remus said.
"Yes," Mr. Potter said quickly. "I know you all intended to keep Remus' issue a secret, and that is fine, but someone needs to tell her. For all intensive purposes, she lives here with us right now, and everyone who lives here has the need to know. She needs to know. It's for her own safety. With tonight being the night it is and all just incase."
"I will tell her," Remus said when Sirius and James protested. "Alone, I will tell her alone. As prefects, we have history together, and we actually get along."
"Lucky," James grumbled.
"I already told you that you two would get along if you would quit being such an arse, and be your self," Mrs. Potter said to her son. "And you, Sirius, I can not believe that you have been bothering her every night to bring you food. Mrs. Miner doesn't even put up with such behavior. You know where the kitchen is, and I am appalled that you would act in such a manner, both of you."
"I am sorry," Sirius and James both said.
"You don't need to apologize to me," Mrs. Potter said as her voice grew louder. Lily's mouth dropped and she glanced around to see if there was anywhere to hide. Mrs. Potter was at the door, her hand on the knob. She pulled open the door and froze, her mouth hanging quite un-lady-like open. "Lily dear."
"Lily?" James asked curiously as he glanced around to look at the door.
"I…I just came up to tell you that you need to re-think Christopher's nanny," Lily said quickly. She held the tyke's hand out, showing her the striations of the switch. "I don't think that physical reminders are needed to keep him under control."
"Do come in," Mrs. Potter said as she took Christopher from Lily. Lily hesitated, standing just outside of the door.
"I can't, really," Lily said quickly. "I have chores to do."
"Lily, wait," James said as he stood but Lily was already gone from view. She had sprinted back down the stairs and into the kitchen. Chef looked up from the vegetables that he was preparing curiously, but Lily didn't say anything. She headed straight to her room. There, she thought that she would escape them, but yet the knocking on the door proved otherwise.
"Lily, open the door," James called through the door.
"I am on my break," Lily lied.
"We'll come in anyways," Sirius threatened. Lily didn't doubt that and she opened the door. She looked at him expectantly, as if she wanted James to say whatever he wanted to say, and go. Remus stepped past them and shut the door behind him.
"Hey," James complained.
"Go away," Remus told him. He waited and looked around the small room. "You have lived in this closet all summer?"
"Yeah," Lily said. She was tempted to say something smart, but she couldn't. For one, she was too tired. For another, she did like Remus. Not nearly the same way that she was finding that she liked James, but she liked him just the same.
"How much did you hear when you were listening in at the door?" Remus asked gently as he sat down on the edge of her bed next to her.
"I wasn't listening at the door," Lily protested. Remus looked at her with a skeptically raised eyebrow. "Ok, I was… but just for a minute."
"Ok, look, Lily," Remus said taking a deep breath. Lily looked like she was on the verge of something, a break down or a crying jag. Something. He had to tell her, but he wanted to be as careful as possible not to set her off, as Lily's wrath was something he liked to avoid at all cost. "Lily, I don't know how to tell you this, but I am a werewolf."
"That's not funny," Lily said as her lip began to tremble, despite her insistent control.
"No, it's not funny," Remus said quietly. He waited and watched. The thought process was written on her face, he could see the wheels turning in her head.
"But, but you are so nice," Lily protested.
"Bad things still happen to nice people, Lily," Remus said. He nudged her shoulder with his own. "You included."
Lily burst into tears. It wasn't those silent tears that slipped undetected over her cheeks, no. It was loud, sobbing tears that included wailing and many torrent rivers of tears that threatened to fill the room like a broken levy and flood. Remus looked at her horrified, never having seen her cry before in his entire life. When girls at school fell apart over this or that, she was always the solid rock, the strength. Lily Evens did not fall apart. He couldn't even think of a time that he had ever seen her cry.
"Awe, Lily, it's not that bad," Remus said patting her shoulder awkwardly. "I have been like this since I was a kid. Being a werewolf isn't so bad. You get used to it, and you learn to live with it."
"It's not that," Lily sobbed shaking her head.
"Then what is it?" Remus asked.
"I just can't do this anymore! I am just so tired! Sirius beckoning food at three in the morning, Christopher and his nannies, and James with that girl, I just can't stand it," Lily shook her head forcibly as she covered her face. She was embarrassed that she had broken, finally. "I haven't slept in weeks."
"Lily, Jenna is James' cousin. He was pretending just to make you jealous, or to try to, at least," Remus said patting her arm. She jerked away and glared at Remus.
"Well, tell him it worked, Remus. I am so jealous," Lily practically growled. She had stopped crying, but her face still had tears streaming down it. She wiped them away hastily, angry with herself for loosing control.
"Why don't you tell him?" Remus pressed gently. "I think you two both know you have feelings for him."
"I do not," Lily lied. She straightened up and wiped her eyes again. "And anyways, I can't. I am leaving. There is still time for me to come up with the money for school. I can't stay here anymore."
"Lily," Remus protested.
"No, Remus, you don't understand, you can't understand," Lily said as she opened the bedroom door, his cue to leave. He stood and walked out the door, turning back to look at her. "I can't be under this roof anymore with James and not worry about what my feelings for him are doing to me. I have to get out before I do something stupid like sneak into his bed or heaven-forbid, ask him out." With that, Lily slammed the door, shutting Remus out of her room.
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