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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters; they all belong to J.K Rowlings and Warner Brothers. Although I wish I did lol.
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A/N: Well since so many of you want me to continue with this idea I will. This story will be my outlet for my other one when I can't figure out what to write lol. Since I'm going to continue writing this a few points need to me made. First off the chapters will most likely be short so bare with me. I'm writing this story as if it's really her diary. Second there won't be any plot really, it will only be from Hermione's point of view as the events in her Diary unfold. Her Diary will include the Harry and Hermione pairing because it's one of my favorites. I may stray from Hermione's entries sometimes and write from Harry's point of view so we can see what he thinks. Depends really on where I would like to go with this. The rating may change as well since I may want to describe the more intimate moments between Harry and Hermione in detail lol. With that said thank you so much to ALL the good feedback I've been getting with this! If you like my writing also visit my other works on the site. I've been rambling on long enough so on with the story!
Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)
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The Diary of Hermione Granger
Chapter 2/?
By: Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)
September 29th
Dear Diary,
I don't know what I'm going to do; it just isn't fair at all! Why must it be HIM I'm in love with? Why couldn't it be anyone else BUT him? Well I've figured it out; I'm in love with my best friend. Thank Merlin no one else, especially Ron and Harry haven't noticed it yet. I think I've been in love with Harry longer then I'm even willing to admit. I've tried to deny it for a while now, but it just isn't working. It really doesn't even matter if I admitted it; he's dating Lisa, NOT me. It's too late; he would never consider me girlfriend material. I'm his best friend; I'm the person he goes to for the "book work." I don't even think he noticed that I'm a girl. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that he can talk to me about anything, but it's so frustrating. How can I possibly be so close to him and not seem like anything is wrong with me? Now that I've admitted my feelings to myself I'm not going to be able to act normal around him. What am I going to do?
Knowing Harry he'll notice something is wrong with me eventually if I start to seem distant. But how can I not be? He's dating Lisa; I don't know how many times I've said that to myself already. If it were only me and NOT her. It wouldn't matter anyway since I'm only considered a best friend. He knows me inside and out, he knows almost everything there is about me. Ron does as well but Harry is the one I go to for everything. Don't get me wrong Ron is a great friend but he isn't the type to go to when you have a problem. If the situation becomes too emotional Ron would feel uneasy about it. That's another thing, who will I go to now? I can't exactly tell Harry what's bothering me because he practically IS the problem. Not him really, but the fact that I'm in love with him. I can't exactly tell Lavender because she would probably tell Ron, who would tell Harry. Ginny maybe, but she still has that crush on Harry. It's almost non-existent at this point because I can tell Ginny has her heart set on someone else. But who that is I'm not exactly sure. It's almost as if I'm alone in this situation. Oh well, somehow I'll figure out a way to cope with it all, I hope.
If someone would have told me I would have fallen in love with my by best I would have said they were crazy. I've been denying it for the longest time now. Now that I look back I can't believe I didn't see it earlier. The thing is I don't love him because of his fame; I love him because of the person he is. I love everything about him; the way he makes me feel when I'm around him, the way he makes it seem I'm the only person around when we're talking, how adorably sweet he can be at times. I don't think I could possibly list all the reasons why I love him. I can't even fully describe what love I feel for him; there just aren't enough words in existence for it to be possible. He's always able to keep me distracted, the only one that can actually get me to step away from my studies. I don't know what I would do without him. There isn't a day that goes by where I can't imagine a future without him right there.
But unfortunately for me he could never possibly feel the same way towards me, and it's completely unfair. Why couldn't I be the one and only for him, why isn't it me? I don't think I'll ever be able to tell him how I feel, even though I want nothing more then to scream it out to the whole world. Back in our forth year when that article in the Daily prophet was written about Harry and I, I have to admit I was flattered. Even though it wasn't true I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if I really were dating him. I wasn't even upset by the article. I have had my share of boyfriends, but I've never felt anything like this towards any of them. I wasn't serious with any of them, although I was hurt by the way Justin cheated on me back in our sixth year. And lo and behold the person I ran to was Harry. Whenever a dark cloud surrounded me, he would be the light that guided me to a better day. I want nothing more then to be able to run to him again and pour my heart out to him, but I can't. If I did would he run away or would he stay by me? I want him to hold me in his arms and never let me go.
When he looks at me, there's just a mask covering up my true emotions. He doesn't see what lies beneath my outlook. Although if he did look closely enough he would be able to tell. Harry was always able to see what I felt. I'm not as strong as I let on; the bookworm everyone sees isn't really the person I am. Underneath that portrait lies a girl who isn't as strong as she makes out. Inside it tears me apart when I see Harry with another girl. Everyday it's like I'm playing a role and the role everyone sees is someone that's always in control. But when I'm alone, or when I write in you Diary the real me is able to come out. Here is where I write my true feelings. As long as no one is able to figure out what I'm feeling I'll be fine. At least out loud I won't say I'm in love, for now.
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A/N: Well that's it for this diary entry, a bit depressing I know but I'm in this odd mood. Inspiration for this chapter came from Whitney Huston's "I Want to Run to You" and from the Disney Song "I Won't Say I'm in Love" from Hercules. Even though it may have been a bit depressing I hope you enjoyed it anyway. There will definitely be more to come after this, so don't worry. Just keep the reviews coming and I'll continue writing this if everyone likes what I'm doing with this. Once again thanks for all the good reviews so far. Don't forget to keep on Reading, Rating and Reviewing!
Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)
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Created on ... August 10, 2003